We were about to take our seats when someone called my name.
"Alex!" a male voice called. I turned around to see Will and Jada Pinkett Smith coming towards me.
"Hey, Willy!" I said, as he engulfed me in a hug. "How have you been?"
"Pretty good," he said. "You remember Jada?"
"Yeah, from the wedding," I said. I gave her a quick hug. The three of us talked for few minutes, then they went and found their seats. I went back over to N'Sync and was about to sit in-between Justin and Chris, when someone called my name. I turned around and waved at Nick Lachey, with whom we had toured with a year ago. I waved at him and smiled. As I was about to sit down, again, someone else called my name (this was getting annoying!) I turned around and saw Maribeth waving me over. Telling the guys I'd be back in a second, I went over to where she, AJ, Joanne, and Kevin were standing.
"Hey," I said. "You would not believe some of the questions I was getting out there."
"Were they things like 'Where are the other members of Galaxy?' and 'Are you guys breaking up?'" Joanne asked.
"Yeah, similar. How'd you know?" I said.
"We got the same ones, but of the opposite nature," she said. "Thing's like 'Where's Alex?' or 'Why isn't Alex with you?' Your lucky Brian and his slut are still alive. I could have beaten the crap out of them by now."
"What do you mean 'I'm lucky'?" I asked her. Just then, a tall, thin, model type, brunette came up to us.
"It's time to get to our seats," she said. Then she smiled at me an walked away.
"Who was that?" I asked.
"Brian's girlfriend," AJ said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. My eyes instantly clouded over with tears, but I held them back, remembering that AJ didn't know why we had broken up. He smiled and took Maribeth's hand and dragged her to their seats.
"AKA the slut, the bitch and other numerous nasty names and things," Joanne said matter-of-factly.
"I'd tried to stop her from coming, but it didn't do much good," Kevin said, apologetically.
"It's okay," I said, wiping under my eyes. "I already knew."
"How?" Joanne asked.
"Paparazzi talk," I said. I smiled slightly at them and went back to my seat. When I sat down, I put my head on Justin's shoulder. He knew why. He had watched the whole thing.
"You okay?" he asked. I sighed and nodded.
"Don't be depressed," Lance said, patting my shoulder.
"Yeah, you've got us," Chris said.
"We can beat him up for you!" Joey added excitedly. I laughed, my spirits lifting slightly.
"Guys," JC said, coming back from a discussion with the producer of the awards show, "I have some bad news."
"What now?" Chris asked.
"Remember when we were gonna perform 'Music of My Heart' with Gloria Estefan tonight?" he asked.
"What do you mean 'were'?" Joey asked.
"She's not here," JC explained. "She's sick." All of them groaned.
"What are we going to do, now?" Lance asked.
"Alex can do it with us," Justin suggested.
"But, I'm already performing with my group," I protested.
"C'mon," Joey begged. "Don't forget that you still owe us for that party at the marina a few years ago." I thought back to the yacht club party. He was right. I never sang with them like I had promised.
"Well, all right," I said, "but only if I can still perform with Galaxy." JC went and talked to the producer. When he came back, he had a huge grin on his face. "My guess is they said okay." He nodded and hugged me. I rolled my eyes and grinned. He took his seat (the order was Chris in the isle, me, Justin, JC, Joey, Lance) and the lights dimmed, indicating that the show would start in five minutes.
The host, Chris Rock, came on, doing a little beginning comedy skit (Uh, oh. This cannot be good!) When he got to the jokes about the BSB and Galaxy, things went downhill. He started out saying things about Joanne and Kevin, then Jamie and Howie, then AJ and Maribeth, then Rachel and Nick. When he got to Brian and me, I froze.
"And what the hell is going on between Brian and Alex?" Chris Rock said. "Those two are still hot for each other. I can feel it! Do you see how they look at each other when they are actually together." I got up and walked out into the lobby holding back tears. I heard a series of footsteps behind me.
"Alex!" Rachel called. She found me leaning against the wall, tears streaming down my cheeks. Joanne ran up and hugged me, letting me cry on her shoulder.
"What's wrong?" Jamie asked as she, Maribeth, and Rachel joined us. I only shook my head. I heard more footsteps coming, but ignored them.
"Where are you going?" I heard Kevin ask.
"I have to talk to her," someone said. I looked up to see Kevin chasing Brian out of the auditorium.
"I think you've already put her through enough," Kevin said, grabbing his cousins arm.
"I have to find her, Kev." As soon as he spotted us, I ran down the hallway and into a conference room. I sat there for a few minutes, hoping no one would find me. After a few minutes, someone did.
"Hi," Brian said. I looked up at him, anger flashing in my eyes.
"What do you want?" I asked, venemously.
"I need to talk to you," he whispered.
"I don't want to hear anything from your mouth," I said.
"Please," he begged. He pleaded with his eyes. "I need to explain why I did what I did."
"You mean there's an explanation for you cheating on me? This oughta be good," I said, hatred leaking out with every word. I looked at him. "Fine, I'll listen."
"Thank you," he said. He moved towards me and I put a hand out, stopping him. He sighed and sat down in the chair nearest him. "I guess I deserved that."
"Damn right you deserved it!" I exclaimed, almost yelling.
"Look, I didn't want to cheat on you . . ." he started.
"What, you two just happened to appear in our room and your clothes just happened to be off?" I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice.
"She blackmailed me." I froze. Then, thinking for a second, I regained my composure.
"That's rich, Brian. Real rich. And how long did it take you to think that one up?"
"It's true, I swear," he protested. He took something out of his pocket and slid them across the table to me. With a shaking hand, I picked up the pictures, only looking at the white back. "The night of Donna's celebrity party, the one you were too sick to go to, Tracy walked up to me and Nick and joined our conversation. She gave us both drinks, but she put something stronger in mine. My guess is it was a rufy." I sat down, feeling weary all of the sudden. "I drank it. Later that night, I walked out of Donna's house, feeling out of it. She followed me out of the house and around the backyard, which you know is like a maze. After a few minutes, I tripped over something. She sat down next to me on the grass and told me she'd take care of me. That's the last thing I remember until Howie found me and brought me home." He looked at me, looking for my reaction. I turned the pictures over to reveal the proof. Sure enough, there were pictures of Tracy on top of Brain, his pants and boxers down by his knees. "I didn't believe her when she told me what we had done. Until she showed me the pictures, that is. she told me that if I didn't do what she said, she's have them all over the news within an hour. I stole them from her and brought them tonight, hoping I could at least explain this to you."
"I can't believe it," I whispered after a few minutes of silence. "This was all my fault."
"What are you talking about?" Brian asked. "How could you think it was all your fault?"
"I wouldn't listen to you," I whispered. "I wouldn't even hear you out. We could be married by now if it weren't for me. How could I have been so stupid?"
"No," he said firmly. "It's my fault for not telling you. Don't blame this on yourself." Before I had the chance to answer, Ashley walked into the room.
"Brian, the guys want you," she said. "They've been searching all over for you."
"Ash, just give me one more second, okay?" he said.
"No," I said, getting up and walking around him to the door. "We're done."
"But-" Brian protested. I was about to walk out the door, but turned to Ashley instead.
"Will you do something for me?" I asked her.
"And just what do you want me to do for you?" she asked, snobbishly.
"Take good care of him," I said, casting a side glance at Brian. He had a tear rolling down his cheek. "He deserves the best."
"Oh, I will," Ashley said, going over to him and sitting on his lap. "I certainly will." I nodded sadly and walked out the door. Taking a deep breath, I walked down the hallway to find Justin, Chris, and Kevin waiting for me.
"Alex!" Justin exclaimed. He ran up and hugged me tightly. "Are you okay?" In shook me head.
"No, but please don't say anything," I said. "I just want to go sit down."
"Sorry, but no can do," Chris said, coming up and hugging me. "we have to perform in a minute." I sighed and nodded. They led me backstage, where we met the others. Joey, Lance, and JC all gave me hugs. As we waited, I cleared my head of everything except for the lyrics of the song (and the tune). When EYC walked on-stage with Martina McBride, I braced myself and waited for our introduction.
"Our next performers are one of my favorite groups . . ." Martina started.
"And our close friend," Dave finished. Daemon started waving at me (who was still backstage) like a two year old, making me giggle.
"Please welcome . . ." Trey began.
"N'Sync and Alexandria Emerichian," Daemon said. Everyone applauded as we entered, the stage still dark. When we got in our spots, we were in order like this: Lance, JC, Chris, me, Justin, Joey. First the music came on, then the lights. Justin started singing and he looked at me, smiling. I smiled back and waited for my turn. Throughout the song, each of the guys would glance at me and smile. Chris even made a weird face at me. We walked around the stage, doing sort of our own little things that went with the song. When we were done, we met in the middle and held hands, bowing slightly. When we went offstage, we met with the press for a few minutes. I got more questions like "Is Galaxy breaking up?" and "Are you dating any of the member of N'Sync?" I denied them and answered a few others, then went back to my seat. We watched a few other awards being presented, the Backstreet Boys winning two for Best Male Pop Artist of '99 and Sexiest Male Pop Group. The members of N'Sync and I congratulated them as they went by. I made sure I didn't look at Brian, not wanting to cry again. When it was close Galaxy's turn to perform, Jamie came and got me. We went backstage and changed into our outfits. I put on a pair of shiny royal-blue pants and a semi-short, spaghetti-strapped matching top. Maribeth had on tight green pants like mine and a short-sleeved, matching top; Joanne had on her classic overalls (in black, this time) and a shiny turquoise shirt on underneath; Rachel had on black jeans and a shiny green shirt; and Jamie had on shiny purple pants and a three-quarter sleeved black shirt. We walked over to the edge of the curtain so we could see the people on stage and the audience couldn't see us. 98 Degrees and Jessica Simpson introduced us.
"Our next performers are semi-new to the business," Jeff said.
"They ranked #1 on the European charts only one month after their first album came out," Justin said.
"Having them here today is a treat for all of us," Jessica said.
They're our close and personal friends," Drew said.
"Please welcome Galaxy," Nick said. Our six dancers walked on-stage (in white pants and jackets), but we stayed behind the curtain (we had a skit planned). The lights on stage went on and the dancers started acting like they were in an amateurs dance class. We put on our headsets and waited.
"No, here's how you do it," one of them said, trying to mimic a dance step.
"No, no, no, this is how you do it," another one said, trying to correct the last one. As they all started correcting each other, Joanne and Maribeth walked out on-stage.
"Okay, class, pay attention" Joanne said.
"Who has gotten the new dance move correct?" Maribeth asked. The dancers groaned.
"No one?" Jamie asked, coming out from backstage. They all shook their heads.
"Okay, first thing first," Rachel said, walking on-stage. "No one can dance in those outfits. Do you know why?" They all shook their heads. "Because the teacher can't see your body and, therefore, won't know how to correct your movements."
"So, off with the jackets," I said, walking on-stage. "We need to be able to see what you're doing." The three guys took off their jackets, revealing shiny-silver wife-beaters while the women had on short, silver shirts with zip-up necks. "Okay, good. Now, do you want to try the dance number?" They all nodded. "Okay, get ready." The stage went black and I took my spot in the center with Maribeth and Jamie on one side of me and Rachel and Joanne on the other, the dancers in the back. As the music started to "Midnight," there was a burst of sparks in the background and the strobe-lights went on. I started singing and we all started the dance combinations. Each time we sang the chorus, the combination stayed the same, yet changed for each verse. When the performance was over, the lights went off and we walked backstage. We went into the dressing rooms and changed into our original gowns. We talked to the press for a few minutes, then went back to our seats. I said good-bye to the girls and sat back down next to Justin. He smiled at me and took my hand.
We listened to a few more awards. Then they named the nominees for Best Female Pop Artist of '99. They were Galaxy, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and B*Witched. We won! After receiving hugs from the guys, I met the girls in the aisle and we went up onto the stage. When it was my turn to thank everyone, I almost choked on my words.
"Wow, I never thought I'd be up here doing this," I said, laughing nervously. "I want to thank JIVE records for helping us out, my sister for the wonderful clothing, my brother for his support, and my mother, for wherever she may be I know she's watching over me," A tear rolled down my cheek and Rachel patted my shoulder. "Last, but certainly never least in my heart, I want to thank the Backstreet Boys for getting us a record deal all those years ago and N'Sync for their love and support. I love you guys." Since I was last, we were escorted offstage, again meeting with the press.
After the awards show was over, I went back to the hotel instead of going to the after-party. I made everyone else stay because I couldn't handle every one's pity. After I got changed into my pajamas, I laid down in bed and turned on the radio. The DJ was blabbering away about something, so I just laid down and tuned it out. When the music came on, I froze. It was mine and Brian's version of "Private Emotion." Before I could turn it off, someone knocked on the door. Before I could get up and answer it, Brian walked in.
"How'd you get in?" I asked. He held up a key. He put it down on the dresser and came over to me, kneeling next to my bed.
"Alex, please listen to me," he begged, tears welling up in his eyes. He took my hand in his. "I know you were mad at me and you still have every right to be."
"Please don't," I said, looking away. "Brian, I don't deserve you. I found out you made a mistake and ran. I got scared and ran, just like I did with Darren."
"Don't you dare blame this on yourself," he said.
"But it's my fault," I said, taking my hand away.
"No, it's not," he said. Then he sighed heavily, getting off his knees and sitting next to me on the bed. "Look, we both made a mistake. I made one because I was scared for my career, you made on because you got hurt again. The only thing I want in the world is you. I want you back, if you'll have me."
"But I-" I started.
"Don't you dare say you don't deserve me because I'll jump out the window," he said, making me giggle a little. "There's my smile. What do you say? Will you give me another chance?" I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes.
"Of course," I whispered. He smiled and hugged.
"I've been wanting to hold you in my arms for so long," he whispered to me.
"I have two questions, though," I said, turning serious.
"Shoot," he said.
"How long was it going on? You know, between you and Tracy." He sighed.
"Ever since Donna's party," he said. "That was about two or three months." He looked at me. "I'm so sorry."
"It's okay," I said, breathing deeply. "Also, did you and Ashley ever . . .you know?"
"No," Brian said, hugging me again. "Never. And I broke up with her tonight, after we talked." I smiled at him and kissed the tip of his nose. He grinned mischievously and cupped my chin in his hand, kissing me softly.
"I've been waiting so long for that," I said, smiling.
"Is it safe to come in?" Maribeth called from the hallway.
"Or are you two getting it on?" AJ yelled.
"Shut up, AJ!" Brian and I yelled in unison. There was a loud smack and AJ whimpered. Him and Maribeth walked in the door. After getting changed (in the bathroom), Brian climbed into bed with me. Maribeth and AJ climbed into the other bed. As she reached to turn off the lamp in-between the other beds, Maribeth winked at me. I giggled and snuggled up against Brian. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and laid his head on my shoulder.
"You two can do whatever you want, okay?" I said to Maribeth and AJ. "Just keep the noise to a minimum." A pillow flew at my head and I knew it was from AJ because it missed by a mile. "Good night to you, too."
"I love you, angel," Brian whispered. "I always have."
"I love you, too, Brian," I said. "I never stopped." He kissed the back of my neck softly and fell asleep. I laid there for a few minutes, feeling his light breath on the back of my neck. I smiled to myself and fell asleep.