The Bachelorette. The seventh Q & A session-2/21/03
By Wendy Thompson
Q. I’m bursting with curiosity today, I’ll leave Joe Mil. for later. I have to begin by saying I believe most of us were shocked at the ending of Bachelorette. Even your predictions were consistent with Charlie winning. What happened?
A. All right ladies, you may fire me if you wish, but first, let me try to explain this astonishing ending as best I can. I have two theories, one that follows logic, and the second one, which is floating inside my head and I'm trying to ignore. This last one is that Trista has been intentionally deceiving us all along, making comments that appeared as if Charlie walked on water, just to build us up for a shocking finale that would hit the headlines. I honestly don't believe reality TV has sunken to those depths yet and, for this reason, I will only concentrate on my original and main theory. Charlie was shocked at not being chosen, especially after having Trista give him constant indications that he was compatible with her. Ryan was equally shocked at being the one chosen, because even HE did not see any indications from Trista, during the past six weeks, that would lead him to believe she had any deep feelings for him. And since they were all shocked, I must confess to having been knocked off my Lazyboy with this ending.
Q. Did you ever have any idea this could happen?
A. I am not going to try to save face and say I saw it coming, because I didn’t. Once over the initial shock, I began to understand Trista’s reasons for choosing Ryan, and, from that point on, everything began to make sense. My big error was I concentrated on the little picture, and totally ignored the big one. This is a wonderful example of unforeseen circumstances that sometimes surround human relationships, and I find it fascinating! The little picture was forecasting whom Trista was falling in love with, and that is what I’ve been blindly doing for the past six weeks. The big picture is there’s always two people involved in any relationship, and BOTH must feel love for it to work. I believe Trista realized Charlie was not in love with her, not because of anything he might have said to her, but because of what could be called female intuition. Charlie himself confirmed my theory when he said it himself during last night’s interview. He is very smooth and tactful with his words, but now I believe there were some instances in the past weeks that made him re-evaluate his feelings for Trista. I am referring to the conversation he had with her, on two different occasions, regarding the possibility of Trista having intimate relationships with the other men. Both times her answer was she would do so if she thought it appropriate. You could see Charlie’s disapproval over her decision in his face expressions. Now don’t jump all over me ladies, I’m not advocating a double standard. I would not think it necessary for The Bachelor to have intimate relations with several ladies either, just to say he was trying to find out if they were compatible. I believe Charlie lost some respect for her as a result of her actions, and his disappointment with Trista was reinforced by his family’s unanimous negative opinion of her. His desire to be chosen, in the end, was mostly based on his ego, and that is why he appeared to have taken the rejection so well.
Q. Do you think that’s why she chose Ryan instead?
A. Yes, this is the reason, I believe, Trista chose Ryan in the end, defying all logic. Notice she said one of the reasons she chose Ryan was because he made her feel loved and secure, and Trista needs to feel loved unconditionally. Charlie would never love her like that, but Ryan can. I also believe when she told Charlie she was sometimes thinking of Ryan while they were together was just her way of getting some personal satisfaction, and giving him a small slap in the face. It’s my opinion Trista is not as sweet as she tries to portray herself, especially if things don’t go her way. Trista finds Ryan physically attractive, and likes to be romanced by him. His easygoing personality relaxes her, and Ryan is easy to control, much like a cuddly puppy. Trista feels he is not extremely demanding, and a relationship with Ryan would not be as complex as with Charlie. I’ve noticed Trista likes to take the lead, and Ryan allows her to do so. She is the one who initiates all physical contact, and he doesn’t seem to mind. I don’t know for a fact if Trista was also intimate with Ryan. Certain things he said, and some scenes which appeared like he arrived at night and left the following morning, tends to reinforce the notion they were intimate. Ryan appears to be someone who would also be soothing and understanding if their intimate encounter was unfulfilled in certain areas, something I believe she would value highly, due to her apparent intimacy problem which we discussed in our earlier interview. I am certain Trista would appreciate a kind and understanding partner.
Q. Do you believe it will last?
A. Unfortunately for Ryan, I would be surprised, once more, if their relationship is a life-long one. Their personalities and needs are too different, and they would have to resolve too many personal issues to make it work long term. Right now, they’re at that stage in a relationship where everything is sweet and rosy. We will see how things have fallen into place once the dust has settled, about a couple of years from now.
Q. What’s next for Trista?
A. I believe she will enjoy some degree of success in her TV career, but I consider her just a fad that will eventually die off.
Q. Moving along to the next question I’m dying to ask. Most of us fans felt bad for Helene as we watched yesterday’s Special, even if she wasn’t our favorite bachelorette at the time. Give us your opinion regarding this sad event.
A. As much as I spoke well of Aaron during his tenure as The Bachelor, I don’t find his current behavior very positive for a supposedly mature individual. Aaron’s attitude and defensiveness, in last night’s interview, was not that of a gentleman. Watching his demeanor and body language, I did not see any glimpse of sorrow or regret at seeing their relationship end. All I saw, in Aaron, was anger. I believe he was upset at having to be there to explain the reasons for the breakup, since Helene was the one who came out with the news during a previous interview for a magazine. She would have done this ABC interview alone, and Aaron would not have been able to tell his side of the story unless he also agreed to be interviewed. My opinion is his answers were defensive and sometimes confusing. All his explanations appeared to be from someone who felt cornered and was having difficulty coming up with rational ideas on how to portray himself in a positive light.
Q. Concentrate a little on Helene and give us your input on her.
A. Helene came across as someone who feels hurt, and is trying to rationalize Aaron’s behavior. In my opinion, she was honest with her feelings, and I couldn’t help feeling sorry at seeing her trying to hold back her emotions. I honestly don’t believe an intelligent mature woman, with a degree in psychology, would be unable to distinguish the difference between Aaron simply glancing at a nearby couple and him not being able to keep his eyes off a woman. It appears to me all Helene wanted was for Aaron to reassure her of his love and commitment to their relationship, something perfectly logical if we take into consideration their geographical separation and his constant traveling to public events instead of spending more time with her. The ending of any relationship is always a difficult time for both parties involved and, in my opinion, should be handled with tact and consideration towards each other’s feelings. I am also certain Helene would have appreciated and understood Aaron’s reasons for breaking up their engagement, if he would have approached her with honesty and truthfulness. Helene will be all right. She is strong and will continue on with her life. I must confess to having felt very bad for her when I saw her crying. She has always been her honest and straightforward self, and there was no reason for Aaron to hurt her feelings during this whole process.
Q. You always have spoken highly of her, much like an invisible knight fighting off the aggressors. I am certain her fans appreciate this. Lets get back to Aaron and explain to us what you believe happened between them.
A. Aaron’s fault lies in the fact he is still very immature where relationships are concerned, and is not ready for engagement and much less marriage. During his interviews in Bachelor II, he considered finding a bride as just one more goal he had to achieve, and that is a formula for failure. A person has to be emotionally and psychologically ready to make that type of commitment, and he is just not there yet, as his track record shows. I believe he is weak when confronted by members of the opposite sex, and lets himself be placed into situations a stronger person would be able to control. He is enjoying his newly acquired fame, and thrives on being in the spotlight. Besides, it’s great advertising for his restaurant, which was one of the main reasons he appeared on Bachelor II.
Q. Wow! You’re pulling no punches today. Why do you think he proposed to her in the first place?
A. I believe Aaron loves melodrama, and wanted to be different from Alex, of the first Bachelor. He felt attracted to Helene, while they were together in the show, and judging by his past history, is too generous with his marriage proposals. I believe he doesn’t realize what commitments he incurs when he gets down on one knee and proposes to a lady. For any relationship to work, BOTH parties have to work at it. Some middle ground has to be defined, and both need to work towards achieving the same goals. When Aaron proposes to someone he doesn’t appear to have any serious long-term action plan; it’s basically a spur of the moment reaction to what he is feeling at that moment in his life. Last night, all he kept repeating was how beautiful Helene was. I believe he never got beyond admiring her physical beauty, and didn’t find out she is also a beautiful person inside. Aaron likes to use the phrase “a leap of faith” when he describes why he proposed to Helene, and possibly to his previous fiancée. In my opinion, he hasn’t learned yet that it’s OK to “go for it” and take “a leap of faith” once in a while, but, he needs to see a well defined ledge on the other side or all he keeps doing is blindly jumping into an abyss.
Q. On a humorous note, we’ve been inundated with letters from readers who appear to want to pair you up with Helene. What is your reaction to this?
A. Wendy, I wasn’t aware you were expanding your horizons and wanted to go into comedy! Not only am I almost ten years older than Helene is, but I am certain the last thing on her mind now is beginning another relationship. Thank you for the thought, ladies and matchmakers, but I honestly do not believe it would work. Don’t worry, though, she will find a genuine Prince someday who will truly see her many qualities, and his life will be sprinkled with happiness from having found such a great lady. I do wish to add that, even though I might be a little opinionated and one-sided on this subject, that is no reason for me not to wish them both the best.
Q. Now, lets get down to the surprising ending of Joe Millionaire. Please give us your intake on this.
A. This journey has been an experience for me that began as a chore, which I painstakingly endured all these weeks, watching episode after boring episode, but culminated with an ending I could not be happier with. I don’t even feel disappointed for missing out on seeing Sarah win, and her reaction at finding out the truth. Enough about “plastic Sarah”, for this is Zora’s night. For once Evan used some common sense with his final choice, I even believe there might be some hope for him in the end. Evan might not be extremely articulate, and has the manners of a horse, but he appears to be a pretty noble and straightforward person, with no malice in his heart. It was sort of touching to see this gentle giant struggling to put his thoughts into words and the ring on Zora. I was extremely happy to see, after six weeks, both finally realized they indeed had something in common after all, BIG KNUCKLES.
Q. Do you believe their relationship will last?
A. I don’t believe Evan and Zora will end up together in the long run, for there are no deep feelings on either side, but that is not the main issue. What I believe to be important is the fact this experience had a happy ending for both, and I am extremely delighted for them.
Q. You did always speak highly of her, even though you secretly wanted to Sarah to win, and then, get knocked down her high horse.
A. You’re correct, I am human, after all, and have my little eccentricities. I have always liked Zora, she was my personal favorite all along, as you well know. I am glad a fairy tale of sorts did touch her life, for she is a unique individual who deserves a break. Anyone who came up from poverty to become a teacher, dedicating her life to children and the elderly, has to be a special individual. I personally know and deal, on a professional level, with some of these outstanding people, and all share similar admirable qualities. I never thought I would be saying this, but I must compliment the producers and Fox Network. I liked the reversal they did when Zora was shown waiting for Evan first, which gave the impression she was not the one chosen, and finally, by having such an outstanding ending.
Q. Thank you for your insight, this was truly an interesting interview! The next Bachelor III is coming up soon, and personally, I can’t wait for it to begin! Next week, we will discuss with our author Reality Shows in general, and learn his opinion on Survivor, Married By America, The Fear factor, and others. We will also get a better glimpse as to what our author is really like, and his opinions on general issues. Our viewers may also take this time to contact us via our “Ask a question” feature, located on our main page, and let us know any other topic or topics you would like us to discuss in next's week article. Everyone involved with this project wishes to thank our ever-growing list of readers for their support. W.T.
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ON THIS ARTICLE ARE SOLELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
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