The Bachelorette, The third Q & A session-1/23/03
By Wendy Thompson
Q. I have to say, at the onset, your last article created a storm of interest on this subject, plus ongoing requests for additional information and more in-depth specifics on your points of view regarding this series and Joe Millionaire. You predicted many of the events from last night’s episode, especially in reference to Jamie and Bob. I must say I am impressed.
A. I’m grateful for your words and the interest of the readers. Actually I was of the opinion Jamie would stay a while longer. He apparently turned Trista off with the events that transpired in the now famous house party, where most of the men who became intoxicated behaved like high school jocks. Basically all were sent home during the last two rose ceremonies. Now, for the first item you mentioned. In all honesty, I can not keep up with several reality programs at the same time, and keep my sanity intact. The public seems to enjoy them, and I hear new programs are being created for the near future by competing networks. These types of reality programs feed people’s interest in love and human relationships, and also provide entertainment for those who come home tired from having to face life’s problems, and enjoy a simple escape from the real world.
Q. I’m going to get specific here and ask your opinion on Russell, who seem to be the most controversial of the group.
A. I’ve seen Russell has his own group of followers, some on a positive level, and others who can’t seem to like him much. Personally, I feel he is keeping some episodes interesting. In my opinion, he is used to getting his own way in life, especially with the ladies. He is handsome, and, is able to express himself well, but, in my opinion, has been extremely abrasive with Trista, even though he was forced to behave himself during his last one on one date with her. I’m certain he has no problems meeting ladies, since his type of aggressive behavior seems to be widely accepted, but there are exceptions, and Trista seems to be one of them. The problem I see with Russ is he believes he can be indiscriminately aggressive and possessive with all the ladies he meets. Russell can’t believe some would be put off by his behavior, or perhaps he simply doesn’t care. He shows some personality traits I do not trust nor like. My advice to Trista would be to be careful in choosing him as a life long partner. She seems to be someone not very wise at choosing men, or putting it better, at making a rational determination if it is advantageous for her to become involved in a long-term relationship with a particular person. Russ would not accept her new career very well nor will he change his personality to satisfy anyone.
Q. Explain these last comments better. Please, don’t beat around the bush and spell it out, so we may understand your answer!
A. Boy, Wendy, you’re in top form today, I see! In other words, don’t call it ACETYLSALICYLIC ACID, just say it’s an Aspirin.
Q. Now you’re getting funny on me, please continue.
A. All right, you win! In my opinion, Trista has been highly impressionable and easily blinded by superficial qualities in some of the men, which, in reality, would have no bearing on their ability to provide her with a happy and stable marriage. This is nothing new, for I can not understand her so called feelings for Alex, in Bachelor I, when it was obvious he had absolutely no feelings for ANY of the bachelorettes on that show. I picked it up from just watching the last two episodes. Certainly, physical attraction is important in a relationship, but there are many other things to consider, especially if you’re looking for a life-long partner. Contrary to what most young people believe, there is a time, in any long-term relationship, where your spouse’s physical appearance is not extremely important in determining your love for that person. That is the type of love that lasts a lifetime, and we see on those couples who have been happily married for 30-50 years.
Q. Wait a minute, now, you’re not getting away with that statement about Alex without an explanation!
A. As I mentioned in an earlier interview, a friend lent me a copy of the last two episodes of Bachelor I, when I became involved with Bachelorette, so I could get a glimpse of Trista before the show aired. From what I could see, there were no love sparks between Alex and the ladies, especially Trista. This also applies to Amanda, from what I could see by watching those two episodes, especially their interactions during the last day’s ceremony. The only feeling I could associate with their body language and face expressions were perhaps one of complicity. It seems I am somewhat correct, since I read they still live in different cities, live their own lives, and see each other about once a month. I calculate they will probably get to know each other well right around the time they begin receiving their Social Security benefits. The same applies to Aaron and Heleen, whose feelings for each other will wither and die unless they change their current long distance relationship, both live in the same city, and begin to build on what feelings they had for each other at the end of the show. These platonic relationships tend to have a short life span.
Q. Now we're down to four, Russell, Charlie, Greg and Ryan. Give me your quick opinion about those four.
A. Trista likes something in Russ. He has that aura of naughty boy some women find attractive, but he is definitely not marriage material. Even Trista, who I believe is not very wise at choosing her men, can realize he has a jealous and controlling personality that would not take well at being Mr. Trista, since, like I said earlier, she is going to try a TV career after this show is over. I wish people would learn they can not change others personalities to fit their needs. The basic traits of anyone’s personality are there for keeps, and people should begin to evaluate if they can live with the person as she or he is, and chose accordingly. People can become very resentful, in the long run, if they have to force themselves to be someone they’re not, just to please others. Anyway, I believe each individual has the right to express his or her own personality in life, and should not have to change for the sake of someone else. If a person has a personality trait you don’t like and is aggravating for you, move along and find someone more compatible. That special someone is definitely out there, waiting to meet you. I know there is a large group of Greg supporters out there, but Trista is only physically attracted to him, since I don’t see much chemistry beyond that. The curious side of me keeps wondering what is it he imports? It might be one of those fancy names, like breast implant salesman, ABC came up with to make him look more professionally attractive for the show. Ryan is a really nice guy. In my opinion he is too mellow and shy for Trista. She likes his company, finds him physically attractive, and feels flattered by his poems, but Trista will never marry someone with his income level, trust me. She wants the type of financial security and social life a firefighter can not provide. She would be wise sparing Ryan’s feelings and letting him go early, for the Hollywood social circuit would eat him up alive, and that type of life would make him feel very miserable in the long run. I am afraid Trista does not see things the way I do, and will most likely prolong his misery. I can’t help liking the guy, though. Charlie has to do something extremely irrational for Trista to let him go at this stage of their relationship. Like she said so herself, when speaking to her friends, Charlie is financially secure, already lives in California, makes Trista melt whenever he looks at her, and has the right personality to blend in with the Hollywood scene. He is the one who will survive the longest being Mr. Trista, even though I would see problems between them in the future, if they do decide to marry in the end.
Q. One quick question about Joe Millionaire: What’s your opinion on Joe and his current choices?
A. I see it’s two for one day again; you can’t get Joe off these interviews!
Q. Come on A.T., a lot of people want to hear what you have to say about this show.
A. I can’t discuss much about that program; my heart is not in it. I will say one thing, though, I believe women are getting a bum wrap here. Certainly there will always be materialistic individuals, from BOTH sexes, whose aim is to marry someone wealthy, but I honestly believe this not to be the norm. I can not reproach a young lady wishing to marry someone who will be a positive force in the relationship, and who is able to offer her a better and more comfortable life than the one she currently has. This especially rings true if she has had to struggle to get herself to where she currently is in life. I know romantic novels are full of cases where the wealthy beauty falls deeply in love with the ranch hand or chauffeur, but this happens very rarely in real life. People also have to consider the intellectual differences between both parties, something crucial for any long-term relationship to flourish. Ask yourself what common intellectual subjects will the couple talk about after the romantic encounter is over. This becomes more and more important, as the relationship progresses and the initial “fire” dies down. You have to remember my clarification as to what chemical process in the brain causes what people call “love at first sight”, which I explained on an earlier interview. Even though he might be a hunk, like in Joe’s case, or a beauty, in the case of a woman, an intellectually boring and unexciting person can become very challenging to be with, after the initial physical attraction has died down. Most people realize there has to be more than that, in order to be happy in any long-term relationship. Women, as a whole, are wiser and more practical than men are, when relationships are concerned, and to try to obtain a better quality life for herself and her future children is not being a gold digger, in my opinion. On the other hand, there will always be materialistic fortune hunters like Heidi, which will do and say practically anything to obtain her goals, but I could also say the same about some men. Having said that, our friend Joe worries me a little. Honestly now, there is something about him that makes me believe there is more to our Joe than meets the eye. To say all construction workers are as simple-minded and intellectually boring as he is would be an insult to blue collar workers. Our Joe appears to be too prehistoric for an average construction worker, and makes me wonder just how hard is he trying to portray himself as an ignorant barbaric. I’ve met some blue collar workers who would give Aaron Burgee a run for his money, and being poor is no excuse for not having the most basic of manners when dealing with women, since learning good manners is free for everyone. I would venture to say his financial situation and what he does for a living has very little to do with his lack of meaningful relationships. Someone with his looks is always going to have the classical group of admirers, but, I assure you, none of them are going to be modern everyday working women. It’s no wonder why Zora, Alison, and some others in the group, have been turned off by him, and no amount of money in the world would make some of the ladies involved in this show decide to marry him. Zora is an intelligent young lady, who, I am certain, caught on to him after his slip on their one on one date, even though she might never admit to it in front of the cameras. Generally speaking, women are more intuitive than men are. Our Joe is a very simple man to decipher. He normally speaks in monosyllables and broken sentences, something that has turned out to be to his advantage, since he projects more mystery when he is silent than when he interacts with any of them on a one to one basis, when he never appears to have anything interesting to say. He also has an awkward and unflattering way of treating the ladies, showing a distanced attitude and total lack of respect for them. Anyone who paid close attention to his face expressions, body language and words when he was interrogating Zora at the restaurant will have a clear picture of our boy, and it is a disturbing sight. There is something child-like about his personality I can not place a finger on, since the show’s producers have made a point of not showing Joe interacting with the ladies too much. I now understand why they also decided to keep our Joe away from one on one dates, as long as possible. I feel they would have done a more interesting program by choosing, for example, as our Joe, a handsome struggling unknown actor with a perky personality and good sense of humor. Someone who not only could effectively portray a new millionaire of two years, but also would have had some real chemistry with the ladies, preventing this show from becoming monotonous. In My opinion, Paul, the butler, with his dry sarcastic humor and side remarks, has more entertaining qualities about him than our Joe. That is why I usually speak so highly of Aaron, in Bachelor II, for his personality and charisma is what kept those episodes lively throughout the weeks it aired, and gave ABC the ratings the show enjoyed. I believe it’s not enough to have a handsome hunk, or a beautiful lady as lead on these types of programs. They must choose someone who is able to control and keep the interest of the suitors, and the viewers, for several weeks, a very difficult quality for someone to possess. Finally, I will say the last episode of this show promises to be somewhat interesting and perhaps surprising to watch.
Q. Back to Bachelorette. So, you’re still voting for Charlie?
A. Wendy, open your eyes and close your ears a little when watching these programs! Just look at Trista’s face and body language when she is with him! She’s the one initiating the physical contact only when she is with Charlie, and her eyes sparkle when she looks at him. I saw that look three separate times in yesterday’s episode alone, don’t tell me you didn’t see it! The readers will shred me up if I’m wrong, I am certain, and I can handle being wrong, since I am not Nostradamus, but my money is still on Charlie.
Q. I am certain you’ve heard and read about the rumors about Charlie being, in fact, her choice, and that she is currently pregnant?
A. Yes, I’ve read some of the stories. I believe whenever there are so many rumors, coming from so many different sources, there is a possibility something might have leaked out. I definitely do not have any idea if she is, in fact, expecting, therefore, only time will tell on that one. I believe it’s time ABC realizes these programs have become extremely popular, and it is too much to expect the ending to remain a secret for a period of two months, especially in Hollywood, of all places. I do not know about TV production, but it would be wiser if they changed the filming and editing schedules in a way each segment would air one or two weeks after the taping. This way, the last show would have been taped two weeks prior to airing, making it easier to keep the secret from leaking out. Two months seems like an eternity, when you’re fighting against leakage of information.
Q. Thank you for your insights. By the way, you seem to have picked up an audience. When will we hear from you again?
A. I will talk with you next week, after Trista’s home visits, since you seem to have gotten me involved in discussing The Bachelorette, when I initially wanted to sit by the sidelines on this series.
Q. Aw, come on! You’re great at it! We’ll be looking forward to then.
THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ON THIS ARTICLE ARE SOLELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.
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Article 4 - The Bachelorette 01/30/03
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