A Man I Know

A man I know just asked me out
To dinner and a play
He is a nice enough man, I suppose
But how can I tell him
How I feel, how I have lived
The countless tortures I have endured
At the hands of men
The pain and scars I hide inside
That keep me from being
A part of the main stream
He says to take my time
Think about it for a day or two
After all, it isn't until Saturday night
I have thought about it
And thought about it
And thought about it some more
And I still come back to the same brick wall
The hate and the fear and the loathing
Sweep over me in huge drowning waves
Almost making me nauseous with their intensity
How can I tell him that the thought of him touching me
Makes me retch
That the thought of him kissing me
Makes my throat lock and my breath stop
That I would rather kiss a pig
Have my blood devoured by a hundred leaches
Have my body run over by a semi truck
(over and over and over and over)
Rather than spend an hour alone
In the company of a man