Renewing The Vow

it's still there
the one thing
that i haven't been able to purge
i saw it in my eyes last night
felt the slimy slick sickness of it
contaminating my being
will it ever come out
to be purged as the rest?
i have vowed that it will not
and for more than eight years
i have been true to my word
yet i wonder
how much relief would there be
in letting it go
and the consequences
she would hate me i am sure
and there would be
legal repurcussions
there is no statute of limitations
no, this thing will remain
behind my eyes
between me and my maker
forever