There Was a Mole On Your Cheek

there was a mole on your cheek
high up, beside your right eye
your close-cropped blonde hair
sticking up like tiny needles
and the curl of your upper lip
always fascinated me just before
the blows would begin and i
slipped through reality into
the fog bank of agony at your feet

but mostly i remember that mole
high up, beside your right eye
that little spot of color in
an otherwise bland landscape
i held the pistol in my right hand
and thumbed off the safety catch
and gripped with my ebbing strength
pooling up around my ankles
in a quagmire of emotion, emotionless

i aimed at that mole, the one
yes, you know the one
and i prayed to god in heaven
that you would wake up, look into my eyes
as i pulled the trigger and sent you
on the endless flight beyond time's borders
but you slept on, snoring heavily
and i laid the gun beside your pillow
a little reminder of the me you stole away

and yes, i still remember that mole
high up, beside your right eye
do you remember anything of me?
i hope you do, if only one thing
i hope you remember my parting gift
placed gently between the blood stains
and the broken ribs which were
your gifts to me during our nine months
as master and slave, the gift of life

and i sit here and i wonder
if i really did the right thing