So then, what do we do when we're not eating snakes or being massaged by people of indeterminate gender in seedy Bangkok backstreets? Erm... we read, innit. Without our books (mostly begged, borrowed, swapped or stolen) all those endless bus journeys and lazy days on the beach would be much less endurable. So here, in roughly chronological order, is a selected list of reading matter which has enriched our travels and kept us from insanity. We haven't both read all of these, but we've both read most of them. Some of them are fecking good, an' all:
- The Art of Travel by Alain de Botton. Poncy philosophical look at stuff like what drives us to get away, and why we take photos when we get there. Very readable and relevant.
- Automated Alice by Jeff Noon. Supposedly 'cyber-punk' novel - the wannabe third in the 'Alice in Wonderland' trilogy, if it existed. Not bad - some good linguistic manipulations and the like.
- The Damage Done by Warren Fellows. Ozzie guy imprisoned in Bangkok's Bang Kwang prison in the 80s for a crime he did commit. The level of torture and deprivation described in the book are truly shocking. Un-put-downable, especially when read in Thailand.
- The Beach by Alex Garland. Resisted reading this one for ages after it came out, but relented in Thailand. It's surprisingly good (except for the unrealistic transcriptions of the Thai accent). Much better than the shit film.
- Stay Alive, My Son by Pin Yathay. Very moving autobiography of a young Khmer child whose family was sent into forced labour and tortured by the Khmer Rouge. He was the only escapee/survivor from an original group of 17 family members. We met lots of Khmers with equally moving stories.
- First they killed my father by Loung Ung Bun. Another autobiographical tale of miraculous escape from the Khmer Rouge by a young girl whose family was methodically persecuted, starved, enslaved, tortured and ultimately 'disappeared'.
- Papillon by Henri Charriere. Legendary real-life French bloke, imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit and sent to a succession of South American prisons where he lived by cunning and shoving things up his bum. He escapes several times.
- Glue by Irvine Welsh. His last one before 'Porno'. Many of his favourite characters return, along with 'Juice' Terry - perhaps his best, and most depraved, character yet.
- My Other Life by Paul Theroux. Hadn't read any Theroux before, and I found this in a hotel's book swap. It's pseudo-autobiographical, and it reads OK. He comes across as a bit of a self-indulgent tosser though.
- Burmese Days by George Orwell. Read it in Burma (you gotta, intcha?). Readable account of an English bloke's troubles in Burma as the British Empire comes to an end.
- Aunt Julia and the Scriptwriter by Mario Vargas Llosa. Comedy effort from the roly-poly Chilean dude. Should've read it in Spanish really, but it was lurking in the bottom of my backpack, so I went for it.
- Bold Man of the Sea by Jim Shekhdar. Autobiographical account of Shekhdar's solo, unaided crossing of the Pacific by rowing boat at age 54. Quite an impressively charismatic bloke, really.
- Animal Farm by George Orwell. We've all seen the video... Oh actually, it's the other one, with the Bolshevik pigs, n that. Maybe it's because he's political an' stuff.
- 1984 by George Orwell. This one's compulsory really. Orwell's style starts to grate though, after a bit.
- The Lost Boy by David Pelzer. Part 2 of the tear-jerking trilogy about real-life abused foster kid Pelzer. A bit American, but reads ok. Won't bother with the other 2 books.
- Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. The wily, foul-mouthed New York chef's account of 'life in the culinary underbelly'. His adventures take him to kitchens rough and smooth, and he introduces us to all the comedy characters he encounters along the way. Next up will be 'A Cook's Tour' - where he scours the globe in search of the restaurant serving the world's best meal.
- Rancid Aluminium by James Hawes. Jolly 30-something japes with a bit of Eastern-European mafia action thrown in.
- The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Unfortunately-named Seppo author's debut. Finally succumbed and read this after Al pestering me to do so for 10 years. Slow to get going, but very stylishly written and gripping towards the end.
- Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. At first I thought this would descend into twee anachronisms, but then realised they were anachronisms only in the most superficial sense (eg outdated turns-of-phrase). The content of the book is surprisingly powerful, and the more I think about it, the more it applies to the real world. Huxley was Michael Moore 70 years before his time. Down with Rumsfeld, Bush and other assorted mind-control fascists, to say nothing of Henry Ford! Yeah baby.
- Vineland by Thomas Pynchon. In the nicest possible way, this man needs help! Anyone with an imagination this foetid (with an "o") who can still hold a pen should be given a Shao Lin death jab and fed to the Thanatoids.
- McCarthy's Bar by Pete McCarthy. I never thought a book this popular could actually be good. But it is - the best travel book I've read so far. Plenty of ridicule of Seppo tourists thrown in for good measure, which I liked. Paul Theroux, take note. This is how it's done!
- The Great Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux. More egotistical drivel, saved by two things: one, sporadically good dialogue and philosophical insights. Two, the familiar Asian locations, about half of which we passed through.
- White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Actually lived up to the hype in many ways. Boy did this book do nothing to change our opinion of religion.