Carlton rejoice as they finally get shot of Barney...
Cico can't believe their luck as 'Lightfingers Legg' slips off...

13th June 2002 Nordic Bar, Newman Street

A big spank you to everyone who came to the Nordic bar to watch Barney and Claire dribble into a bottle or two of Finnish 'Låpp Dååncer'... Thanks also for the big old bag o' presents. I have jettisoned a few expendable items such as my malaria tablets and water-purifying kit as well as 6 pairs of Levi's to make way for the crucial hair dye in my rucksack. Claire has created new employment opportunities for the young by employing a couple of boys to carry her jewellery.

Bottle Blonde has been a universal hit, and I'm sure it's destined to be a bestseller. Coley - there's a career in political blackmail and art forgery just waiting for you. My parents in particular were delighted to learn that their son 'Sux Dogz' (nice one Luke!) Steph in accounts deserves a special mention for writing 'Good luck!!! I don't know who you are but I have to be polite', and then signing with 3 kisses. And if you're sceptical about my lover-boy claims, don't take my word for it. In the words of Brenda: 'I love you and I hope we can do it all again soon, big boy'. Bring it on, Brenda! With Tab's goldfish pix, Nadege's essay in French and Stuart's grammatical shenannigans in Spanish it was, all in all, a cracking read and I shall keep it for, ooh, minutes to come. It will bring a tear to my brown eyes every time I part its covers.

If you want to know what you really look like pissed, then check out these digital masterpieces, and don't forget to keep in touch...
n.b. Click on a thumbnail to enlarge it, and if it doesn't work first time keep trying.