MINDLESS


Don`t talk, don`t speak, stay away, stay unique. Keep away, hang my head, stay emotionally dead. Don`t look, cover my eyes, stay blind, hide everything in my mind. Don`t cry, come on now, try. Don`t let anyone know, hide, think straight, hide that hate. Cover up, like a life sentence prison door, stay shut. I`ve suffered another deep emotional cut, I`m like a worthless dog, just a mutt. Sit in a cellar, away from everyone, isolated, stay away from that sun. Let no one close, stay alone, let no emotional attachment be grown. Lost in my mind I feel at home, millions of mysteries lurk behind my dome. Underground, make no sound, take in everything that`s around. Keep up my guard, stay alert like a hound, in loneliness I`ll be drowned. Show no love, let no one love, I long for love. Don`t dream, don`t want, don`t pretend, only think about when this life will end. Wipe those eyes, clear that head, endless depression makes me wish I were dead. Don`t talk, don`t speak, like I said before, stay unique....
I Wish.....


I wish I had a friend, I wish there was a group in which I could blend, I wish I wasn`t so alone, I wish I could speak in a tone that isn`t so drone. I wish I had a girl and I really loved her. I wish I could smile, I wish my life didn`t always feel like its on trial, why can`t i get the fuck out of denial? I wish I could look people in the eye, I wish I didn`t always act so sly, I wish I could take my feelings, ball them up, throw them away and say bye. I wish I could be like a man, I wish I didn`t cry, I wish I didn`t need to be so paranoid, everyone against me, they want me destroyed. I wish I didn`t need to write, I wish I had more insight, I wish there was something in this life that would provide me with delight, I wish everything didn`t always end up in a fight, I just wish for one happy night. I wish I wouldn`t always think in spite. I wish that just one thing I did was right, I wish my thoughts of suicide didn`t carry so much might. Thoughts of self destruction keep digging into my mind like a mite. I wish I didn`t always walk around with a constant hurt, I wish there was someone who didn`t make me feel like dirt, I wish I wasn`t always teased by a short skirt, I wish it wasn`t always with death that I flurt. These are my wishes, my wants, my dreams, I wish someone other than this paper would hear my silent screams. I wish it wasn`t with this pen that I act out my dreams, I wish someone other than me could understand what this means, goddamnit, I wish my life was like a movie with nothing but happy scenes.
The Knowledge Tree


It`s a beautiful day, bright with light reflecting off the fall faded tree leaves. Clear sky, light wind, mild temperature, but that`s the end. Another day of hurt and pain, wishing I could take a trip across the river Styx so I can end this shit.

What a wonderful day, cheated, pissed on, all remorceful feelings gone. An inferno burning inside, wondering why people provide my mind with thoughts of suicide. Roguery has shown me what revenge means, but no means to get over the past, drinking Lethe`s water by the gallon, stepping into Eden, eating from the knowledge tree, returning the beating.

Such a blessed day, under a holy curse, walking like Ancient Egyptians in the desert searching for water to quench my thirst, but the Nile`s ten miles away. I`m running from an infernal like a Nazi Colonel, hiding in my terminal, locking myself in and everyone out, screaming in a sound proof padded room that the end is coming soon.

The light must shine down upon me today, instead of being sent the Ten Commandments; I received a message from my landlord saying I have 24 hours to leave. Instead of splitting the red sea, I was left to dry like I`m crucified by undercover foes acting as friends. I sacrifice time in my life to write and act out a charade, stabbing enemies with an invisible blade.

The fog has cleared and the sun sparkles down today, trying to live and keep it realistic; a modern day scribe binding words together in a marvelously malicious way so my words don`t decay. I`m like King Tut, but I`m not all cut up, my gold is my friends, my jewels are my memories, and my legend is common as carcinoma, I`m no great Pharaoh, just a man with a mind as powerful as a bow and arrow.

I Hear America Dying...


I hear America Dying, the varied death screams I hear, those of the local whores; paid to lick the dick of the highest paying trick, just to pay dues to the prospering pimp. Everyone dieing as they should be; lonely with no money, lacking any day that`s sunny. The bum dying as he shoots up in the slum, warming his hands by the fire filled drums. The crooked cop dying, as he`s sorting the extorted cash and allowing drug dealers to build power in mass. The youth dying, never even knowing the truth, booze and drugs create a long fall and everyone ignoring the problem like they don`t know what they just saw. The only way to be blithe is if you already have a slit wrist, that`s the only way America`s problems can be dismissed. Families dying as they`re consistently eyeing a better life, wife working, father working; searching for an unattainable lurching. Kids home alone and are easily sucked into the criminal zone. Not long and the parents are disowned, tearing apart the family like a building that was just blown. Dealers that plough through the dough, making America`s children die by dealing dope. The only thing that`s robust is lust, the only thing that provides bliss is a death wish, and all good opportunities are missed. The delicious dying of the mother using all her energy to support her single parent family; no sleep because working two dead end jobs is the only way to make ends meet. The dying alcoholic, he`s sick from putting up with too much shit, and his only release is to get his brain bent. The suicidal teen dying as he`s trying his best, he can get no rest because his parent`s push him until he`s totally fucking stressed and the idea of a bullet in the brain carries so much weight in his chest. The morals of America dying, they`re so low they`re obsolete, or as thin as a bed sheet. There is none. Hell, I`m surprised America is still graced by the sun. There is no change in sight, not much longer and America will be a scene in Fright Night, but believe me, this country is still worth a fight....
Just A Conversation...


"Where will I go, and how long will it take? Right now it feels like I`m being held down by a heavy stone slate. Will my life ever reach the state of great, or will I keep letting opportunities pass by, or take them late?"

"Your will is strong along with your mind, it may take mad time but a surprise will hit like the explosion of a land mine. Keep clean, remain out, and seen, let knowledge flow to your head like a stream. It may not be in money, but one day your life may gleam, things arn`t always as they seem."

"Will I ever find someone to love? Or what of my family? Their distance from me is further than I can see, I don`t even believe they know me, I`m worse than a mystery that`s too hard to read"

"Your people will stand the test of time, your relationships arn`t as smooth as your rhyme. Though your darker than a black design, they don`t forget you, they feel you like the taste of red wine. As for love, I do not know. Your tone is always low, but you always give more than you owe."

"Tell me about my writing art, I can be sharp as a dart, but I know no where to start. Will it always be like a hobby, will my words ever reach anybody?"

"Your words will reach the ears of only your closest peers. You have much skill and many more pages to fill, and I feel your writing is real, but it`s intimidating like a death row prisoner`s final meal. Keep doing your fighting with words and writing, but fame is rare like an extinct animal sighting."

"I have lots of ambition and been put in many different positions and made many wrong decisions. Can you steer me down the right path, or will you always watch me fuck up and laugh?"

"Only you can decide your guide, your heart or your mind. I`m always here, but you seem to always replace me with a beer when you get down and things seem unclear. I`m not sure of the right path, it`s not exact like math, but be aware, when you fuck up, I do not laugh."

"I always seem to be alone and by myself; always plotting to get great wealth. I have many goals to get fat cash rolls, but they always include destroying other`s souls. I don`t know why, but I want to do more than just get by, and I believe what the bible says, an eye for an eye."

"You can sometimes be full of hate and revenge, and your mind can be as wicked as the shit in a heroin stuffed syringe. You do have a light side and your full of pride and I still remember all the times you`ve cried. You want to do right, but that doesn`t always seem to be the way. Today won`t be different from yesterday if you don`t come outside and play. Time by yourself should be considered a great wealth, but your greatest wealth may be in someone`s golden hair itself."

All Poems Written By Jamison Withers

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