Bearing One Another's Burdens

When we were hopelessly lost forever because of sin, Jesus took our burden of sins and bore them in His own body on the cross, so that we could be saved. (1 Peter 2:24). In so doing He has given us an example of pouring Himself out, and lovingly bearing burdens that were not His own. Though none of us can ever equal His sacrifice or bear anyone's sin for them, He has given us the privilege of following His example in bearing one another's burdens.

* Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Because this is a world of sin, most of the dear people that God brings into our lives will have burdens eventually. Life is full of burdens. Some are relatively small and only leave us tired and weary. Some are overwhelmingly heavy, and the weight of it crushes and breaks us to pieces.

I have seen many things that are heartbreaking beyond words, but I do not think anything so cuts me to the heart, as someone struggling through the burdens of life all alone, with no one to share with and no one to care.

Burdens are inevitable. No matter how much we try to avoid them, or get out of them, we will feel their weight sooner or later, if we live long at all. However, so often, those burdens can be lightened or sweetened by tender, loving care, and someone bearing them with us.

Sometimes bearing someone's burden will be doing for them what they cannot do for themselves, as Jesus did for us. It may mean taking care of someone who is sick or disabled, taking care of children and housework when their parents are sick or in surgery, or just too worn out to cope well anymore. It might be helping an elderly person with things that have become too difficult for them, or visiting them in the nursing home to ease their burden of loneliness.

* We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak. Romans 15:1

Other times bearing someone's burden will be simply being there for them and praying for them. Sometimes we are near enough to our loved ones that we can physically be there for them. Often times there are hundreds of miles between us, but we can still "be there" for them emotionally. There are so many tragedies in life, that leave the heart so broken and overwhelmed that it will take a very long time to heal. No human being can take away the agony and pain, but we can suffer with them. We can carry their burdens in our hearts, and pray for them many times a day. And we can be always available as a safe place for them to be heartbroken and sad, with a listening ear, a caring heart, and a loving shoulder. I think everyone needs a place where they do not have to worry about putting on a smile, or drying the tears, and being cheerful. Everyone needs a place to just be themselves, and know that they are not bearing their crushing burdens all alone in the big wide world. The grief and wounds of deep tragedies take a long time to work through and heal. We can only wrap their broken burdened hearts tenderly and gently in our love and care, and weep with them.

* Weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15

There are many heavy burdens where to do more than just being there only increases the burden instead of lightening it. Often there is deep heartache and hurt between people. One of them, heartbroken and weary, will confide in someone for help or understanding, and find that the burden is increased many times over, when the one they confided in goes to other people about it to get them involved. Sometimes other people try to fix things by going to the person causing the pain and end up making a much bigger disaster of things. There are very many times like these when bearing someone's burden means to simply be there each step of the way, walking through the pain with them, with tender loving care, and not trying to fix anything, because there are countless things in life that only God can fix. We only make much bigger heartaches and burdens if we try.

* There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

All of us may go through times in life when God is all that we have. I think that God sometimes purposely puts us in those situations to draw us closer to Himself. If He has placed us in that situation, He IS sufficient, but very often God is going to use human beings to take care of other human beings. God can miraculously sustain a baby without help from us, but the way that He has chosen to take care of them is by giving them a mother or someone else to care for them.

He has made human beings to need other human beings. When God created Adam, placed him in a paradise, and had perfect communion with him, God still said, "It is not good that man should be alone." It is only so much harder to be alone now, when life is so full of tragedy, sickness, death, and broken hearts.

* Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Ecc. 4:9-10

Most people will go through different times in life when they are more able to bear burdens for others, and times when they need someone to bear burdens for them. Often it may be both at the same time. We are born helpless, and often become helpless again before we die, and go through all kinds of different stages in between.

I carried a heavy burden of heartache when I was a teenager, but I spent most of my time bearing other people burdens. I lived with many different families through times of sickness, tragedy, or other need. The bits of time I was home, I was "on call" all the time. It was just normal life to me to drop everything, and go stay with a different family. If I was in the middle of laundry, I packed wet clothes in my suitcase and finished them whenever I had time. I spent my time taking care of the children, home schooling the older ones, rocking or walking the floor with sick or crying babies day and night, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and anything else that needed to be done. Sometimes the mothers were amazed that I could be so cheerful with the children and on top of things all day, when some of the nights were so rough. I did not really think anything of it. I have always had an extremely strong mothering instinct, and am always at my best taking care of someone else.

One of the more hectic times was with two-year-old twins, newborn twins straight from the hospital, and six other children. Their mother was recovering from surgery, and their father had an extremely serious accident when the babies were less than three weeks old, and was also recovering from surgery. There is no such thing as a restful night with two-year-old twins who do not sleep through the night and brand new preemie twins. It was even more difficult when we got very sick and one baby ended up in the hospital, barely able to breathe. I had the other baby who was almost as sick, plus eight other children, and never knew when the next moment was going to be another emergency. I was so sick myself I had to pry my eyes open with my fingers at night to soothe the wails of the sick baby I was sleeping with, and then get up at the crack of dawn to take care of all the other children. God gave me the strength to survive those days, and I was more than happy to be sharing other people's burdens. I would not have even considered doing anything else.

But it was only a short time after that, when I was so broken to pieces by burdens of tragedy in my own life, that it was all I could do to cope with the smallest things of everyday life. I felt like I had been in a horrible car wreck and was smashed to pieces, but it was all on the inside, where no one could see it. I do not think I have ever felt so terrified and hopeless in all my life. Everyone can see and understand serious physical injuries, and understand that you are not going to be able to do all the things that you can do when you are well and whole. But I carried all my deep lacerations and bruises on the inside. Trying to cope with normal life felt like being expected to run a race with two shattered broken legs, or lift heavy weights with two broken arms.

* The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness, But who can bear a broken spirit? Proverbs 18:14

God, in His tender, loving, mercy, gave me someone to help bear my burdens. He could have chosen to bring me through that awful time in many different ways, but humanly speaking, I cannot imagine how I ever would have even survived without the gift of someone to be there, and love me and care. My Bible was almost meaningless to me, because I could not concentrate enough to get anything out of it. My mind was a constant whirl of horrible fear, razor-sharp pain, and utter confusion. My health was giving out. I felt as weak and helpless as a newborn baby, and I just wanted to die, because I was so terrified of being a burden to anyone.

The amazing thing is that I could still be comforted when I knew that someone was sharing my burdens. I would calm down so much just being held close in loving arms. And I was able think somewhat rationally with gentle, loving encouragement and reassurance. No one could take away the tragedies, but I could never even express how much comfort and hope I had when I didn't feel like I was floundering all alone in a black hole of pain that I had no idea how to climb out of. When I realized that someone was just there for me, and would be there for me through all of the long healing process, I started to heal and was ready to go on. And God has healed me far beyond what I thought was possible in this life. My emotions are still very fragile, and I may never regain the strength of youth, but I have learned to accept that, and be at peace with it. I am strong enough to bear other people's burdens, and weak enough to need other people to bear mine, which may be where we usually are in life.

More than anything, I am so very grateful for the privilege that God has given us of bearing each other's burdens. I do not think there is any greater privilege given to us on earth as being there for someone that needs us. It will not be long before we will be walking the golden streets, and there will not be even a hint of a burden there. The broken disabled bodies and minds will be whole and vibrant forever. The last tears will have been shed. Broken hearts will be comforted forever. Until then I am so deeply grateful for each precious person that God gives me, whose burdens I can share, and just as thankful for each precious person who shares mine.

2004 A Sister In Christ