For a while it didn't look very promising. So many leaves were beyond repair, and got crispy and hard and fell off. I gently took off many others that I saw were hopelessly damaged. Eventually it seemed that some of the leaves were going to make it, and I was so happy even though my tree was so bare. But as time went on, I saw something that thrilled me. All over the place tiny little leaves started to form and grow! I do not ever remember so many new leaves growing on it any other time, but they are popping out everywhere now, and it is more beautiful than ever.

In watching my tree I have been seen a striking resemblance of my own life. I have been through suffering where my very soul was wilted and withering up, and I did not think I could survive it. I felt the beautiful "leaves" of faith, joy, hope, and trust wither up, fall off, and disappear. Depths of emptiness and despair filled my days for so long.

But my precious Savior cares for me even so much more than I do about my lemon tree, and he has not only made sure I would survive, but He is giving me new leaves all the time.

I am often just lost in gratitude to Him for all the wonderful new leaves that are growing in my heart all the time. He has given me new joy that is far deeper than anything I ever knew before depths of suffering. He has given me new hope that I appreciate from the depths of my being after knowing what it is like to live without it. He has given me real peace about things that I never dreamed I could have peace about. And He's taught me to simply trust Him so much more than ever before. He has given me so many new leaves that my dear old friend has often told I am not the even the same girl he used to know.

* Thou, which hast shewed me great and sore troubles, shalt quicken me again, and shalt bring me up from the depths of the earth. Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side. Psalm 71:20-21

My tree is beautiful but it still bears the scars of being without water. Some of the leaves that have survived are green and beautiful again but a half inch or so of the tips are hard and crispy and brown. Those hardened parts do not give off any rich fragrance or beauty. After the numerous new leaves have grown out, I will very gently remove the leaves with hardened withered tips. It certainly will not need them with all the beautiful new leaves so full of life.

I trust that God will do the same in my own life. I know that often the natural human reaction to suffering, and maybe especially to certain kinds of suffering, is to become hardened and withered up. It does deaden the enormous pain somewhat. It is so easy in deep suffering to just crawl into a hard shell to escape the pain that seems impossible to bear. The natural love, tenderness, gentleness, and care for others ends up withering away. My heart goes out to those who have suffered deeply and have become hardened, cynical, and bitter towards life. I do not blame them, but it has to be such a miserable existence. Life seems to hold no beauty for them, and God cannot give others love and hope and cheer through their presence.

My deep desire and prayer to God is that He would continue to remove any bits of hardened leaves in my own life. I deeply desire that the fragrance and beauty of Jesus would shine through me. I want His compassion to fill me through and through. And I know that He is abundantly able to do that.

I am so very thankful for the beautiful new leaves on my tree, but I am so much more thankful for wealth of new leaves in my own life. I will praise my precious Savior forever for them.

* He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Psalm 40:3

I do not know what the future holds, but I know now, without any doubt, that God is able to give an abundance of fresh new leaves full of life and beauty whenever I need them.

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