A letter from Seňor Solly "Chainsaw" Tequila to his amigos in the CIA.

Hi Guys, Solly here. 

The local gringos in the Australian government couldn't find anyone with adequate qualifications to flog off their national Telecoms so they made me an offer of ten million bucks a year to do the job. 

Telstra, the Telecom company doesn't even belong to them but, on my life, who can refuse an offer like this. Between you and I the first thing I intend to do  is to fit taps on all their telephones, I will tell them it will stop the leaks. I mentioned this to The Hon Helen Coonan, the Minister for Communications and Phoney Talks, and she thought it was an excellent idea but she would like the system to be up and running before they I it ( nudge. nudge. wink. wink).

My top priority will to bring in a few high paid execs. (Bill, Phill & Greg for a start)  from Graviton, US West or the Old Firm, ( as we insiders affectionately know it).  There are quite a lucrative options open. Contract money is no object here. Oh man, these guys have billy cans full of $A bucks pouring out of their obsequious orifices.  To pay for this, a number of the great unwashed will have to get the chop. (Perhaps 'downsized' sounds more compassionate. Whatever, they'll all be out on their arses!)   In 1992 they had a Yank here called Blount. He terminated 40,000 employees with mortgages and children to support. My predecessor Ziggy didn't do so well,  he only managed 10,000.

Solly Trujillo, salutes the  12,000 sacked Australian Telstra workers.

But hold on to your sombreros amigos, because Seňor Solly is going to show these Gringos how things are done "South of the Border, Down Mexico Way". - Olé!!   After I have run the remnants of Telstra personnel through my guillotine there here will be so many indigenous Telstra call centre wallahs employed in Bangalore the rupee will s'curry up the Khyber faster than you can say Mahatma Coat.     Ah'll be sittin' in the sun, crackin' a tequila or three, sayin' g'day pardn'r to the passers by whilst ah'm strummin' ma didgeridoo and singin' "Tie me bank account down blue".  Ah just hope those guys who hacked into Systems Card Solutions (Problems) haven't gotten  ma Swiss bank account number.

I will be in touch with millionaire MP Malcolm Turnbull, he is a director of Zionist bankers Goldman Sachs - he is also one of our own - he was the dude sitting next to Prime Minister John Howard at the dinner in Washington hosted by the CIA in Howard's honour a couple of years back. 

On 6-11-1999 Malcolm Turncoat, (he is a local Quisling and member of the chardonnay sipping illiterati with good CIA connections)  desperately tried to topple the Australian Head of State. Unfortunately he failed  then switched allegiance to the ultra right wing, pseudo Christian, Neo-con, Laboral Party, because for republicans, a monarchy is a severe impediment to the aims of the Neocons and their NWO!

So, listen up you guys, in the future be a little discreet when you contact me. Well, like, you know, don't mention  Allende, Chile, ITT or Henry Kissinger. It could prove to be a little  touchy! 

They have a group here called ASIO  (Asian Spooks In Oz) but, to be honest, they are too busy looking for one thousand Chinese spies to bother about big brother Solly, and not to put too fine a slant on things, to me, a lot of these dudes look the same.

Recuerdos a nuestros CIA amigos,

Adios, hasta la vista, 

Sierra de cadena Solly.

News Flash 6 September, 2005. Seňors Solly and Phil have been attacked in Parliament and in the media over outrageous statements regarding Telstra. The matter has been referred to ASIC, and hopefully, there is a good chance Solly and his Tres Bandidos will ride of into the sunset - minus the $3 million contract severance.

The Vultures and Sharks are circling TELSTRA.

"You can sometimes get more investment and a better price and greater activity if you allow some greater levels of foreign investment", Mr Howard said. (Australian Financial Review, December 15) The T1 sale cost $260 million, including $91.2 million in commission and fees to the three global coordinators, ABN Amro Rothschild, CS First Boston , and JBWere.

Former Prime Minister Paul Keating’s “Banana Republic” and “the recession we had to have” will pale into insignificance compared with the proposed sale of what is left of Telstra. The vultures and sharks are already circling for the kill in Senator Helen Coonan’s fire sale. Coonan’s rich cronies in the Temple of Mammon, and the denizens of Wall Street are about to launch into a monetary shark feeding frenzy which will decimate an Australian institution.

Needless to say "Chainsaw" Tequila and Senators Helen Coonan and Nick Minchin will ensure that the sale will be placed in good hands. Leading the Charge of the Greed Brigade will be; Wall Street bankers and moneylenders with fine Scottish and Irish  names such as Paddy O'Rothschild,  Jock MacRockerfeller, Phil MacLehman, Mick O'Warburg,  Seamus O'Lazard, Shaun O'Seif, Patrick O'Goldman, Bruce McSachs, and Phil MaPockets. Chainsaw's previous connections with the CIA and EDS should ensure that all our confidential details will be safely stored in a big computer in Texas, next to the big computer  that holds all our bank card details, which is next to the big one connected directly to Pine Gap, ad infinitum

Let's hope newly elected Senator Barnaby Joyce will cross the floor.

Seňor Chainsaw Tequila's listed directorships include his position on the board of  EDS (Electronic Data Systems), an Information Technology company. This illustrious outfit has a very colourful past which should  be of interest to all Australians. 

Article on page 2, of the Brisbane Courier-Mail dated 15 May 2000 by Michael Madigan.                                 

THE Federal Government's growing dependence on outsourcing has cost one department $6 million while another is seeking legal advice to recover coats.

Evidence has emerged that the IT outsourcing plan designed to save $1 billion is actually costing money.

The Labor Opposition has labelled the programme an "elaborate hoax" providing lucrative contracts to IT providers while Increasing costs to the taxpayer.

Senator Kate Lundy, who has gathered evidence on ITO problems for more than 12 months, has evidence equipment is not being delivered on time and service delivery agreements are not being met.

Outsourcing IT has so far:

* Cost the Health Department $6 million over three years.

* Left the Customs Department short or computer equipment needed to process the GST.

* Left the immigration Department 10 percent short on service delivery agreements.

* Prompted Customs to seek legal advice over a year-long delay on the delivery of vital passenger processing equipment.

 The Federal Government has strongly defended ITO, saying it is saving taxpayer dollars while delivering cutting-edge technology.

But senior bureaucrats have repeatedly confirmed in Estimates hearings ITO is causing serious difficulties,

The Health Department's acting first assistant secretary in IT 'Lyn O’Connell confirmed outsourcing

left her department $6 million out of pocket.

The Finance Department predicted outsourcing would save Health $6 million in 1996, deducting the money from the department's budget over the following three years.

But Ms O'Connell said the budget cuts had to be absorbed by the department.

Deputy Secretary Health and Aged Care David Borthwick confirmed the loss,

Asked if the department was forced to effectively "soak up" $6 million, he replied: "That is what

the numbers suggest."

Customs officials confirmed the department was seeking legal advice after its outsourcer EDS was a

year late in delivering a Passenger Processing System.

Gail Batman, Customs national manager passenger processing. said the cost of the delay was still being discussed. Customs had not initiated legal proceedings but had taken legal advice.

"We are currently trying to attribute ownership of those costs," Ms Bateman said.

Customs officials also confirmed that EDS would not deliver computers to handle an aspect of the GST by July I.

Customs chief executive officer Lionel Woodward said Customs staff would do the required work

manually until September when the equipment should arrive.  End of article.

My research is centred mainly on the activities of EDS in the UK and to a lesser extent in Canada. The ten items listed below and  published in the highly respected “Private Eye” magazine ( London) are just a small sample of some of the IT disasters in which this company has been involved. Their Centrelink and ATO cock-up's in Australia will appear later.

Every Day Stuff-up (1)

"In the same week the (UK) government announced that it is to sue American computer giant EDS over the tax credits cock-up, it’s time to forgive and forget other IT disasters." Source; Private Eye Magazine, London 24-06-05

Every Day Stuff-up (2)

Will government bodies never learn? The prison service has just signed a 12 year contract to develop its computer system with none other than self-proclaimed founder of the IT services industry and old friend of the Eye, EDS.

Considering the sensitive nature of some of the material EDS will handle, it is interesting to note that in the US the firm has just admitted to having been the victim of a rather large hoax.

 The company issued the following statement on 8 March: “EDS has reported to the FBI... that it and other companies are the victims of a fraudulent procurement scheme. In late 1999 EDS discovered the scheme, which revolved around what were purported to be procurements for a highly sensitive project of NATO

 One “Lt. Colonel A. West” of the United States Air Force and his fellows claimed to be working on behalf of Nato. EDS said Nato would pay for the order for a “voice information verification system”, said to be worth tens of millions of dollars, and potentially billions. But after the equipment was shipped to the Netherlands neither it nor the Air Force officers were ever seen again. Private Eye 24-03-00

Every Day Stuff-up (3)

  First Britain … then the world. This must be the secret corporate motto of the Eye’s favourite computer company EDS (Eyes passim ad nauseam) Not content with ballsing up UK government IT systems, the Texan firm has set its sights on Australia .

  The tax self-assessment computer programme run here by EDS for the Inland Revenue was a sorry tale of backlog and waste, while the Child Support Agency had to s-crap its useless EDS system. The London Borough of Brent fined the company £9,000 for failing to meet targets to collect council tax, and EDS was sacked by Wandsworth from a £3.2m housing benefit contract.

 In Canada, EDS lost a contract to automate the income-security system because it missed a 1998 deadline and risked overspending by millions.

 Nevertheless the Australian tax office (ATO) has turned a blind eye the catalogue of error and delay and has agreed to pay the firm US$350m to “outsource” IT activities and save the ATO $A1bn over the five years. Well, that’s the plan, anyway….. Source; Private Eye Magazine, London 02-04-99

Every Day Stuff-up (4)

 Bailiff’s have moved into the head office of computer giant EDS (Eyes passim ad nauseam) at Stockley Park after glitches in EDS’s own system resulted in bills going unpaid and legal action being taken by angry creditors.

 Since its European Administration Resources Systems (Ears) went live,17 county court judgements have been brought against EDS. This was the fault of a new system which is now under repair.

  If EDS cannot get its own system right, say industry observers, what hope is there for all the UK companies and government departments that have entrusted their files to the company? Source; Private Eye, 20-02-98

Every Day Stuff-up (5)

Taxpayers in a panic about new self-assessment forms have received little help from the taxman. A deluge of inquiries caused the tax computer to crash only two weeks before the self-assessment deadline.

  Spokesmen wrote this off as an expected teething problem. And who supplies the taxman’s temperamental computer system? Step forward old Eye favourite EDS, which supplies the systems in a contract worth £1.6bn over ten years. (EDS scored previous successes at the disastrous Child Support Agency and the Student Loans Company.) P.Eye 23-01-98

Every Day Stuff-up (6)

Meanwhile "Outsourcing" continues at  the Beeb. In December, 350 accounting staff  from BBC Finance learned that their jobs were  to be transferred froin the BBC to MedAS, an external scheme run jointly by EDS and Coopers & Lybrand.

   Pay and conditions remain unchanged, but "after transfer, you will only be aIlowed to apply for BBC jobs open to external candidates".

   So that's bad news for staff with years of faithful, internal BBC service under their belts, who will only return to the Beeb stripped of their sometime lengthy years of service and pension entitlements. But good news for BBC directorates who can leave the small matter of funding "outsourced” redundancy payments to MedAs. Once BBC Resources is finally “outsourced” as a limited company, similar staff Arrangements are expecred there as well. Privates Eye 23-01-98

Every Day Stuff-up (7)

Taxpayers in a panic about new self-assessment forms have received little help from the taxman. A deluge of inquiries caused the tax computer to crash only two weeks before the self-ssessment deadline.

  Spokesmen wrote this off as an expected teething problem. And who supplies the taxman’s temperamental computer system? Step forward old Eye favourite EDS, which supplies the systems in a contract worth £1.6bn over ten years. (EDS scored previous successes at the disastrous Child Support Agency and the Student Loans Company.) P.Eye 23-01-98

Every Day Stuff-up (8)

Bad news at the Vehicle Inspectorate, where a new computer system due to be completed last year has been hit by technical problems and won't now be launched before May at the earliest.

   As the inspectorate’s chief executive Ron Oliver said. the delay is "disappointing". And who is the tardy supplier with whom the inspectorate is working? Er. step forward our old friend EDS. The Texan computer giant famous for its brilliant UK work at the Child Support Agency and the Student Loans Company (Eyes passim).

  EDS has also been having trouble in the London borough of Bent where the computer firm has a £50m outsourcing deal with the council but has been hit by Financial penalties after failing to meet targets. The council accused EDS of under performing in collection or council tax and of losing vital files. EDS must now pay Benr £9,000 to cover shortfalls, though it insists it is not at fault and has actually improved tax coIlection.  

 EDS also faces penalties in Wandsworth where the borough council accuses it of failing to meet targets in responding to housing benefit clams.  Private Eye 09-01-98

Every Day Stuff-up (9)

  More from EDS, the Texan computer giant with a foothold in almost every UK government department. It’s highest profile contract to date is to install the new tax “self-assessment” programme at the Inland Revenue. The installation is already running millions of pounds over-budget and over-time.

  Meanwhile Canada , having spent $365m to automate the country’s income-security system, the Canadian government is terminating its contract with EDS.

  The project couldn’t meet its 1998 deadline and would have cost millions more to finish. The Canadians now intend to complete the project on their own. Source: Private Eye 28-11-97

Every Day Stuff-up (10)

  EDS case.   I have followed the EYE’s long-running saga about US computer company EDS with great interest. I now note  (HP Sauce, EYE 902) that the Child Support Agency (which, in this context, effectively means EDS) is holding nearly four million detailed personal data records. 

  This figure is especially alarming in the context of the number of open CSA cases – 435,000. By contrast, there are 650,000 CSA cases which are officially closed; in these, data protection law (not to mention commonsense) would seems to require that the personal data records be removed from the system. The same could probably be argued for the further   735,000 cases which the CSA classes as “inactive.

  However, no data has been deleted, removed or archived away from the CSA’s EDS computer system during the three years it has been operating. But that, of course, is the game plan; as you pointed out in a recent issue, EDS is hell-bent on amassing a comprehensive data record on every man, woman and child in Great Britain.

  Why does the data protection registrar not step in to clip the CSA’s wings? Because government departments are immune from prosecution under the data protection laws. No wonder EDS is so keen to win government contracts! Big Brother or what?   Private Eye 26-06-96 End of quotes.

The alarming aspect is that whether the contracts were completed or not, this foreign owned company has been paid billions of dollars and has had access to the most sensitive information relating to defence, income tax, child support, crime, council rates and vehicle registration to name but a few. Is the information made available to Texas HQ?

EDS is a Texas based IT company, owned by General Motors and founded by Ross Perot. When we combine the above facts with the company’s stated policy of Globalisation and glance  at the EDS Australian client list i.e. Customs, Taxation, Banks, transport and communications - not forgetting links to the CIA - the alarm bells should immediately start ringing.

Despite my having an Honours Degree in Rocket Science I have been unable to obtain a postal address for the Executives from the Telstra web pages- it is as evasive as the directory enquiries number in their telephone directory. So, if you have any comments or compliments regarding the sale of Telstra please ring: The Honorable Porter J. Goss, Central Intelligence Agency, Office of Public Affairs, Washington, D.C. 20505 or Tel: (703) 482-0623. 

Or: Michael H. Jordan CEO, EDS, 5400 Legacy Drive, Plano, Texas 75024 Tel: 1 800 566 9337. Just ask for Big Brother. Oh, and by the way, mention Solly.

Der junge Solly ist ein schlauer Bursche und schient sich auszukennen.

Donald G McGauchie – AO Chairman

John W Stocker – AO

Charles Macek – Bec

Catherine B Livingstone – BA

Belinda J Hutchinson – Bec

John E Fletcher – FCPA

Anthony J Clark – AM

John T Ralph - AC, Deputy Chairman

David Thodey BA G.M.D.  

John Stanhope B Com

Deena Shiff B.Sc

Bill Scales AO

Bruce J Akhurst LLB

Douglas C. Campbell B.Eng, G.M.D.

David Moffatt BBus G.M.D.

Ted N. Pretty BA

Michael Rocca MBA  

The Hon Helen Coonan,

Minister for Communications

The Senate, Parliament House,

CANBERRA ACT 2600

Tel: 02 62777480  Fax: 02 62734154

E-mail: senator.coonan@aph.gov.au  

(No olvide de poner los sellos de franqueo)