Part of this review is about the Hardy Boys mystery novels by Franklin W. Dixon.


HARDY BOYS ARE COOL, BUT EPINIONS BLOWS* DOGS
by eplovejoy on Oct 27 '01
Pros: Hardy Boys mysteries are terrific entertainment for kids in elementary school.

Cons: Epinions treats its writers like we are kids in elementary school.

The Bottom Line: Epinions' deliberate, consistent disdain for its writers is a mystery. The Hardy Boys could solve it, but why should they care if the people who own Epinions don't?


Although Franklin W. Dixon wrote his Hardy Boys mysteries for kids, he never treats his readers like children. The mysteries are challenging, but not beyond the ability of second- or third-graders to figure out. And Dixon never resorts to a trick ending or an unconvincing deus ex machina. The solutions always grow out of the stories Dixon tells with prose that is simple but not simplistic.

When I was in the second grade I discovered Dixon's Hardy Boys novels and was hooked. The books were not available in paperback in the early 1970s so it took doing a lot of chores around the house to earn the money to buy the hardcovers, which, if memory serves, went for about $3 dollars each. But it was worth every minute invested and every penny spent. I haven't read a Hardy Boys book since I was in the fourth grade and I never watched the television series with Parker Stevenson and Shaun Cassidy, but the mysteries remain one of my fondest memories of life before I got a driver's license.

I admired the Hardy Boys so strongly that when I was in the fourth grade, I wanted a winter jacket like the ones they wear in a case that took them to Alaska. But my parents insisted I get instead a parka that probably was more durable and warmer, but certainly didn't look as cool. They won, mostly because they were the ones paying for the parka.

But that was the last time my parents substituted their judgment for mine arbitrarily. After that, they consulted me in decisions that affected me. And they got into that habit with my younger sister and brother as well. They didn't always honor our wishes, of course, but they made us feel our ideas were worth at least pretending to consider.

I wish the people who run Epinions could have learned from Franklin W. Dixon and from my parents before it was too late. Far from treating the writers who are Epinions' most valuable asset with a tiny fraction of the respect we've earned, the people who run the site have treated us with inexcusable disdain.

Among several actions Epinions has taken that are insulting to those of us who write for the site, the worst is the decision to eliminate the feature that allows us to edit or delete our reviews. The powers-that-be decided we could not be trusted with the kind of control they promised us when we signed on to the site. And they decided they couldn't trust us enough to let us know about the change before they imposed it.

Now Epinions is suggesting the company will restore the "edit/delete" feature. Doing so now will simply add credence to suspicions that the change was made to divert attention from other changes, chiefly in the way the site pays people for their writing. And restoring a feature that should not have been taken away will do nothing to repair the damage Epinions has done with its disregard for the people whose writing gives the site its vitality. Destroyed trust is almost impossible to rebuild.

Worse, nothing in Epinions' unfortunate history suggests that the company has any interest in trying to rebuild. Or even that it recognizes a need to do so. That kind of arrogance could doom a successful company. It will certainly do no less to a company struggling to make a name for itself in an industry still trying to recover from the dot-com implosion.

On Epinions' death certificate, the cause of death will be "suicide."

But if it's too late for Epinions to learn from the author of the Hardy Boys or from parents who treat their kids like people, perhaps they can derive something from the following cautionary tale:

When Robin Williams hit it big with the television program Mork and Mindy, the producers of a piece of cinematic junk called Can I Do It Until I Need Glasses? sensed an opportunity. The movie is meant to be a collection of "adult" sketch humor along the lines of Kentucky Fried Movie or The Groove Tube. But where those two have at least some humor, Can I Do It Until I Need Glasses? has nothing. Except a pre-stardom Williams in about ten seconds of screentime.

So of course the producers re-released the movie with a publicity campaign that made it seem like a Robin Williams movie. And of course a bunch of gullible high school students were fooled. At least we were momentarily. But because the people responsible for it took advantage of us so clumsily, none of us will ever see Can I Do It Until I Need Glasses? again.

And we won't recommend it to anyone, either.


__________

THIS "EPINIONS BLOWS DOGS" WRITE-OFF IS ONE OF SORDID-1'S MANY BRILLIANT INSPIRATIONS

Besides Sordid-1, other writers who have chimed in to express their keen disappointment with Epinions include:

amykhar
cr01
CurtisEdmonds
DGTurtle2
janesbit1
jo.com
joubert
mjfrombuffalo
missteagu
pluckyduck
Redmaple
and scmrak


If they're smart, the owners of Epinions will look at that list and at the growing list of writers who will not write for the site any longer and realize that they have done their company some serious damage. But if they were smart, we wouldn't be writing pieces like this one.

__________

* ABOUT "BLOWS": I do not judge harshly the morals of anyone who engages in the activity this verb sometimes describes, although I do harbor resentment that others get to engage in it more often than I do. It is the suggestion of force implicit in this use that makes it an insult. Well, that and the bit about exploiting unconsenting canines, about which I do impose harsh moral judgments. Shame on you, Epinions.

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For a time in October 2001, you could have read this review on http://www.epinions.com . It has been deleted from that site, but other writing by the author is still available there at http://www.epinions.com/user-eplovejoy .

The wording Epinions dictates for this kind of disclaimer is: "You can read this review at [URL of the review page on Epinions.com] and other reviews on the same topic at [URL of the product page on Epinions.com]. Check out my profile page at [URL of your Epinions.com profile page]." About that clumsy "check out my profile page" phrasing: That's what I meant about Epinions treating us like elementary school children.