EPINIONS BLOWS DOG? HUH?
by rich2003dm on Oct. 27, 2001

The Bottom Line: This place just gets curiouser and curiouser every day!

Epinions blows dog?

Damn, every day there’s something new on this site. A guy just can’t keep up with the changes.

A couple of days ago I learned that Epinions was going to stop paying Eroyalties and wouldn’t let us edit or delete our reviews.

Couldn’t give a rat’s a-s-s about that stuff. I ain’t no Hemingway. If I didn’t have Epinions, I wouldn’t be able to give my stuff away, much less get anybody to read it.

But Epinions now blows dog?

Is that in lieu of Eroyalties?

What if you don’t own a dog? Do you just lose out completely? No compensation at all?

And what if you have a dog, but its female? Will Epinions perform oral sex on her, too? If not, I find the whole thing rather sexist.

And how will they do all this blowing and licking and stuff? Everyone knows they’ve been cutting staff lately. They can’t even keep the site running the way its supposed to, and we’re to believe that they’ll have employees flying all over the world performing oral sex on our animals.

And who are these people and how in hell did Epinions get them to take the job? After all, it doesn’t seem like a very attractive position. I think I’d rather do pretty much anything else than blow dog. What did Epinions offer them? All you can eat? I know that the job market is tight, but even I will only sink so low. (Well, perhaps if the dog was kind of attractive and had a nice personality. But not just any dog. I am not a slut.)

Did they put an ad in the paper saying, “Epinions, a thriving web community, seeks aggressive and highly skilled individuals to perform oral sex on animals as part of our new writer compensation program”? I’m sure plenty of folks would just leap at that opportunity. Is that how Nirav got his start?

What do they promise in the way of career advancement? Oral sex on horses? Is that REALLY moving up in the job?

And when they come to your house, can you take pictures? And laugh?

But the real issue is this. What do I get out of it? Hell, I wrote all that stuff and my dog gets blown! What about me? Old married guys get lonely too. I guess they figure since they’ve been screwing me since I joined, that should be enough.

I don’t know. Maybe they should just go back to Eroyalties.

On the other hand, my dog was so looking forward to this.

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For a time in October 2001, you could have read this review on http://www.epinions.com . It has been deleted from that site, but other writing by the author is still available there at http://www.epinions.com/user-rich2003dm .