Adventures of Miguel Page 2
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August 1Ever since I saved Sheridan from the drug dealers, I've become a big celebrity in Harmony. After the prom I was approached in the back parking lot by a man. He said he wanted to be my agent. I thought that would be very neat, and it would help me get over my Charity Shnookums. Theresa thought the agent seemed nice, and she helped me get prettied-up for a photo shoot. She did my makeup and let me borrow her pretty clothes. My agent says he's going to take me away and make me famous!! |
August 26 I haven't had time to write because I've been very busy with my agent. I haven't had a chance to actually work yet, but my agent says that any day we'll get a call! Yay!! I'm going to be famous!! My agent thinks I'm going to be famous too!! We talk about it all the time, and then he reaches for my special places. I'm sure his hand just slips though. He is my new best friend!
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September 8 I'm back in Harmony now!! Momma thought I should come home for school. I haven't seen my agent in a long time. One night the police men came and took him away. They said something about child pornography. I don't know what pornography is, but it must be fun. My agent talked about it all the time. When I got back to Harmony I had a long talk with Luis. I told Luis about my love for Charity Shnookums. Luis asked if we were ever 'intimate'. I didn't understand what he meant, but I said that Charity used to touch my special places. Then I'd always feel sick! Stupid flu!! This made Charity mad, and she'd hurt me with her love. Luis suggested that I go see Father Lonnigan.
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September 15
I've been saved!! I've been spending all my free time with Father Lonnigan. He likes to talk about things like "sin" and "urges" and "voluptuous women". Father Lonnigan is funny. He is always slamming into things because he can't see!! I told him he should get a guide dog, but he says that God will show him the way. Everytime he says that he slams into a wall!! What a crazy joker he is. Father Lonnigan spends a lot of time with a lady named Tabitha. She carries a doll around with her. I think the doll is real though!! He talks to me! Not like my Cabbage Patch Kids used to! I mean, he really talks to me!! It is nice to have a new best friend. |
September 20 I've been spending time with my new best friend! We went on a trip to the ski lodge with Father Lonnigan and Tabitha. They said they had to stay in a room together because they like to play Battleship at night. They must like that game a lot!! I hear them screaming about it at night!! They are funny... I spend everyday with Timmy the doll. He talks about Charity's love a lot. He smacks me, and hits me, and bites me. He reminds me of Charity... Timmy is my new best friend. |
October 1 I told Momma about Timmy, and she said I had a good imagination. Tabitha was angry that I told! She said that if I opened my big mouth again she'd send me too see her friends in the basement! I'm excited! I like making new friends! |
October 15 I told Theresa and Luis about Timmy the doll. Tabitha got really mad and she sent me to the crazy-hospital. It's fun here. They serve me jello and peas in little cups. I hope to make new friends here. I miss Charity Shnookums though. I sent her a postcard that said "Hello Shnookies. I WUV you" She sent one back that said "SUCK IT!" She is funny! Maybe she will come and visit me. |
November 1
I made some new friends! They say that their families sent them away and replaced them with better people. That didn't make sense to me, but they are my friends anyways! They both like to touch my special places. Then they touch each other's special places. They say it's a fun game like Battleship. I told them that I knew that game! Julian Crane taught me how to play!! Battleship always makes my special places tingle. I think I'm coming down with something... |
December 1
Julian Crane came to visit me! He paid the nurse lots of money and touched her bum. The nurse told me I could leave with Julian. Julian said we could play outside together and then he'd take me home! I was excited to see Momma and Luis and Theresa again. But mostly I wanted to see my Shnookie Wookums. Julian and I walked around, and he suggested that we romp! I thought that sounded fun, but unfortunately I had really bad gas because of all the peas I ate at the crazy-hospital. Julian seemed mad and he left. |
December 24 It's been very exciting being home. I was invited to the Christmas Eve Dance at the Lobster Shack. I was sad because Charity had not come to visit me or ask me to the dance. So Theresa said I could go with Ethan! She is a nice sister! She let me borrow a pretty dress, and she did my hair. Ethan and I had fun at the dance. I think next time he should empty his pockets first though. I think he had a teeny pencil in his pocket, and it kept rubbing against my leg while we danced. Ethan is nice, but I miss Charity Shnookums. |
