01/26/01 - 10:00 am
Dear Alicia
Somewhere, out there, I now know you are listening. Last night, after the peace and serenity returned to my life, I walked outside and it had began to snow, it was falling so lightly, like it was being sprinkled over the world by gentlest of hands, or falling inside the snow globe of humanity. I stood there, as my life began to come back into focus and realized, there may either be higher powers at work or things were just coming back together. Whichever of those two that is, really doesn't matter at this point, the key is, thanks to an email, and a phone call, communication, I believe that things are back on track again, misunderstandings, miscommunications, whatever, doesn't matter. We are talking again, hopefully, we are going to be able to work on our friendship and rebuilding it into something real and something strong. I'm really short on words right now, for once, believe it or not. I'm just relaxed, and happy, the grey is washing back into black and white again, and things are beginning to make sense. My best friend is back in my life, hopefully forever, and we are going to work, slowly, but surely, at rebuilding that bond that I tore down with my selfish emotions. The past exists to learn from, but not dwell on, the future exists as a blank slate, full of potential, that is controlled by our actions, thoughts and emotions, along with possibly a push from above. Fate brought us together, just as it brought G into her life, and now fate sits back with what we are given and lets us predetermine our path, occasionally steering us, and pushing us, but mostly letting us do it on our own, and to learn, hopefully, from what we do.
Thank you Kat, for listening, and for being there, and being you, thank you Geoff, for caring enough to let me know the unknown, and helping us to rebuild things, and thank you Lish, for whatever touch and part you had in this. I thank all of you, equally, my life is forever indebted, and I shall try my hardest not to make the mistakes again. We gain strength from learning and doing, we gain love from honesty and communication, and we gain forevers from the combination. Don't get me wrong, by no means does our speaking imply that I'm taking anything for granted. I did a lot of damage with my ignorance and disrespect, so there is a lot of rebuilding to do. For my words, that she's heard before, to ring true, there is a long path to be travelled, but I am ready and willing to make the effort to do it, because I've realized that her friendship, and having her in my life, while sharing in her happiness, is more important to me than I ever realized. The first step, of many, has been taken, there is still a lot of steps and work to go, before we can rebuild what we had. I hope we can. This is just the beginning, of hopefully a long forever of friendship.
The peace, serenity, and sensibility is back, I know now what happened, and life makes sense again. The snow from the night may melt, but never the peace, love, happiness and friendship that it symbolized. I have been given a rebirth, another chance to see what I had blinded myself from, I don't intend to squander that. I have been blessed with friendship, and her in my life. I will be thankful as I watch and live our forever paths, to happiness, me watching hers, her, hopefully watching mine, but together..my best friend is back I hope. I missed her.
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