May 2003

May 26, 2003 [11:00am]
Her walking has been so amazing. In such a short time she has gone from crawling to walking exclusivly. And she is a pretty fast walker. She has great balance and the way she gets up from a sit position on to her feet is so great!

I am upset that I haven't gotten to post any pictues of her party. :0( Because I was out running around get other things for the party I never got to get batteries for our camera so I didn't take any pictures. But no worries right? Everyone else took photos, right?

Well the trouble with that is that David's mom's camera wasn't loaded right and all these great photos that they took are nonexistent. :0( I don't know about anyone else.

And to top it off now our digital camera won't download the picture on the camera. So it snaps them all but I can't get them off. So I have had no pictures to post for a month now. I hope the camera is not broken, but I have a feeling it is. :0(

[10:31am]
We are having a real hard time with the breastfeeding. Well I am. Minako seems to think now that it is a game to bite Mama's nipples. Yesterday I think without fail she bit me everytime I breastfed her. And she doesn't nip me. No. She bites and hold on stretching the nipples in her teeth, while might I add pulling and stetching the other one in her hand. Is this fun for me? No. It's actually pissing me off so much. My breasts are sore and I can't put on a bra. That is how much they hurt. I don't like it.

But not only are we having the biting problem I am having trouble breastfeeding in general. Since I have gone back to work it has been a nightmare almost. She realizes that she can't have the boobie anytime she wants anymore so when I am home, either after work or on the weekend she wants to stay on the boobie for an infinite amount of time and times. If she doesn't get her way she screams and screams and screams. I don't mind giving her alot of boob but with the biting thing I have to cut her off. She doesn't want to drink regular milk as much as before. I think it's because she gets too much juice. Even though I stress giving her milk they don't give her milk as much because she doesn't drink it right away. Instead she gets juice. That just makes my job harder because she doesn't want to take regular milk from me if she knows she can have something better.

I don't know how to get her out of this biting habit or get her to drink more regular milk. I don't mind breastfeeding her but I can't handle this pain. I may just stop all together if this keeps up. But I know that will be tramatic for her because breasfeeding is such a comfort. It's funny how people over the past year have given me so much unsolicited advice, unwanted and most of the time not helpful advice. But now that I need a little I get nada. I just need to pay a visit back to Baby Center. The message boards were always helpful.

I was reading Daddy, Papa & Me and they seem to be going through what I went through, alot of unwanted and silly advice. I guess as two men people feel like they can't be motherly. Which is silly of course because as long as you are open and listen to you baby and use common sence everything turns out well. These guys are so in love with their baby. But I guess what parents isn't.

May 20, 2003 [11:52am]
It has been a while since I have written. It has been a little hectic. Being back at work away from Mina and then running back to Jersey on the weekend has me a little ragged. I got a cold that I am fighting. Unfortunetly I gave it to Mina. Today she is really bad and my mum has to deal with her all day. I feel bad because I knew that she is going to give my mum a hard time. I was a little scared this morning at 4am when I took her to the bathroom, I flicked on the light and her little right eye was sealed shut by ugly green/yellow crust. I knew that it was coming though because she had been getting the eye snot, which scared the hell out of me at first but my mum told me it wasn't a biggie. Always good to have a nurse, and a pediatric nurse at that in the family.

My little monki girl has been walking up a storm. She has no problem following me to the bathroom in the mornings even though she get angry if I walk to far ahead of her and she can't see me. To see her dance while she takes a few steps with her cookie in her hand is sooo sweet. *sigh* We have the greatest daughter in the world. Dad's missing her a bunch though. Hopefully soon we will be able to have a sitter that comes to the house so that she doesn't have to be so far from him. *sigh*

May 8, 2003 [12:02pm].
Well I am now back at work. Started this week monday. That is why I have not had a chance to update either site. They actually have me doing work. No mercy on the mom who's been out of the loop for the past year. Unfortunetly for Mina she is suffering from boobie withdrawls.

The first day when I came home she gave me this passing looking, as if to say "Yeah ok lady, you left me so screw you." I got to happy face, no smile, no kiss, nothing. Even when I held her and kissed her she was indifferent. But as soon as we sat down I got a loud "Num num!" and she laid down so I could give her the boobie. Then she was happy.

During the day I had to fight the erge from calling and obsene amount of times but when I called in the morning and my mum put me on speaker phone she screamed and wander through the house trying to find me. So no cute hellos to my baby girl.

Tuesday when I came home she was happy, her dad was with her of course telling her how much he misses her... oh yeah I am staying in Brooklyn with my mum so that she can take care of her and I don't have to travel back and forth from Jersey everyday. It will change once we find a permanant sitter.

Anyhow Dad is visiting, actually it felt like we were both visiting. I am not used to seeinig her just 3 or 4 hours out of the day. It is killing me.

Dad gave her a bath and he had to jet quick so that he didn't get home too late.

Wednesday she was actually awake when I left and was ok. She and abuelita walked me to the door and waved good-bye. When I came home she was all business. "NUM NUM!" She demanded. I felt so used.

Thursday she now knew that I was leaving again and didn't like it one bit. She fussed and screamed as I took a shower and got dressed. I barely made my way to the door before she started crying hardcore. But I had to go. No lingering good byes.

Today was also some of the same. But she did not want to let go of the boobie this morning. My mum keeps saying why don't you pump. Yeah like it is that simple. She followed me (Mina, not my mum) into the bathroom and watched me as I showered. I think she was trying to keep an eye out to make sure I wasn't trying to give her the slip. When I came out it was a battle for me to get dressed, she wanted me to hold her. Which I did once I was all clothed. But the moment I tried to hand her to my mum she clamped onto me like that monster from Alien. The high pitched screaming started and I had to make quick goodbyes and run.

She should be happy tonight thought. Her Dad is going to come and pick her up while I go out with some co-workers. She gets to be with Dad until I meet back with them later on in Jersey.

I know that she will get used to this but I don't know if I will.