A merry heart doeth good
like a medicine. Pro.17:22
These are actual mistakes that have been found printed in church bulletins. Some are sure to give a chuckle!
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"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at
Calvary
Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all
the
way
from Africa."
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Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Prayer & Fasting
Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer
Conference
includes meals."
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"Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving
obvious
pleasure to the congregation."
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"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of
those
things not worth keeping around the
house. Don't forget your husbands."
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"Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers'.
Bring
your
own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun
time."
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"The peacekeeping meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due
to a
conflict."
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"The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water'. The sermon
tonight:
'Searching for Jesus'."
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"Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the
help
they can get."
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"Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more
transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests
tapes of
Pastor Jack's sermons."
-
"The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will
sing 'Break Forth into Joy'."
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"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile
at
someone who is hard to love. Say, 'hell' to someone who doesn't
care
much
about you."
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"Don't let worry kill you - let the Church help."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the
church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days."
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"A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow."
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"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is
Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."
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"Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of
several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."
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"The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning
to join the choir."
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"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
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"The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
potatoes,
green
beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel."
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"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery
downstairs."
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"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person(s) you want remembered."
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"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy
lunch."
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"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment
and
gracious hostility."
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"Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
follow."
- "The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may
be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."
- "This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across
from
the
Church. Bring along a blanket and be prepared to sin."
- "Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
are
invited to lunch in the fellowship hall after the B.S. is done."
- "The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday
morning."
- "Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use
the back door."
- "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy."
- "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance."
- "Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes."
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"The pastor is starting a "Mother's Club" next Sunday evening. All women who would like to become mothers should meet with the pastor in his study."
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"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign
slogan
last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'."
Hope some of these brought a grin to your face!
If you have a cute little item that you'd like to see
included on this page, please send it to me, and I'll be more than happy to include it! Thank you!
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