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We are back from a little holiday hiatus...

Frederick: "AKA "fixed the time space continuem again" -_-

Well how was I supposed to know that I wasn't supposed to meddle with the future of online gaming?!

Frederick: "It's a wonder I haven't taken a shotgun and started picking off pedestrians already..." -_-

Yeah... I figured you'd crack by this time too. Of course I'm perfectly sane so I don't have to worry about such things. ^_^

Frederick: *mumbles* "I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job..."

Anyway, enough chitchat! We're on camera you know.

Frederick: "Oh yeah! That's right! Heh..."

Anywaiz... We're back on "The Planet". A familiar location from our very first episode. Here in the town of Nibelheim lives a very secretive species. Often found sleeping off his sins in a coffin located in the hidden basement of the Shinra Mansion-

Frederick: "Which isn't exactly hidden since you just revealed it to the world."

DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!! *casts firestorm*

Frederick: "AHHH!!!! *sizzle* "What was that... About... You being... Sane again?"

Err... nevermind! Heheh... *smiles innocently into the camera as she tosses frederick a hi-potion* Back to the subject of today's episode... >>

Frederick:*mumble mumble* -_-

I got some information from a local as to where the hidden entrance to the lair of this most rare and lovely bishie was...

Frederick: "Threatening the life of a shop keeper is a felony right?"

Shh! We're on camera!

Frederick: "Well they already heard me anyway and-"

*knocks frederick down the stairs after opening the secret passage*

Frederick: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *thud!!!*

Heehee... I mean... oops! What a tragic accident. I sure hope that he's ok... >>

My these stairs are trecherous... Obviously a defense mechanism employed by this most elusive of bishounen.

Frederick: "Ugh..... Ow...."

Shut up! You're ruining my vibe!!!

Frederick: "But I'm injured..."

So? This isn't Rescue 911! It's Bishounen Hunter Adrastia! Stop trying to steal the show!

Frederick: "But..."

Grr... Fine... *calls the med crew*

*waits*

No response. They must have gotten freaked out and left. Oh well... *tosses frederick an x-potion*
Now get up so we can get on with this! I hear this guy is really hot in person! ^_^

Frederick: *sigh* -_-

*proceeds to make her way down the steep stairs, "accidentally" kicking Frederick*

Frederick: "Ahh!!!"

Wuss...

Frederick "You know we're on camera..."

Yeah, so? All the abuse just spices things up! Watch our ratings go through the roof now!!!

Frederick *sweatdrop*

Oh look... A door! This must be the entrance to his den.... Now we're in his territory so we must act with caution. Frederick, as a rival male you may be in danger. So I think it's best that-"

Frederick "That I steer clear of Vincent all together and head to the Inn for some R&R?" *hopefull look*

No. Actually I was thinking more along the lines of you going in first...

Frederick: "But... But..."

Yes, I know Vincent has a nice butt! I've seen pics! ^_^

Frederick: "Umm... That's not what I-"

*totally ignoring frederick* I couldn't get the combination to the safe upstairs... Too lazy.

Frederick: "I'd buy that answer....."

So since I can't get the key...

Frederick: "You're gonna pick the lock? Pick a lock on Shinra property? Isn't that like a federal offense?"

Yep! That's why you're gonna do it instead!

Frederick: "Of course...."

Several minutes later...

Got that lock picked yet!!!

Frederick: "I'm trying..."

Hurry up!!!

Frederick: "Jeez..."

HURRY UP!!!!!

Frederick: "Ok! I got it! Don't have a tantrum!!!"
*frederick slowly opens the door*

Grr... *pushes frederick through*

Frederick: "AHHH!!!"

Well? Wha't sin there!!! ^_^

Frederick: "Umm... A bunch of coffins."

Cool! Do they uhh... Look valuable?

Frederick: "Umm... We are on camera you know..."

Well I didn't come out and say let's steal them!!!"

Frederick: "You did now..."

Whatever... He's gotta be in one of those coffins. You better check.

Frederick: "ok..."
*opens coffin after coffin with no luck*

Well?

Frederick: "One coffin to go..."

OPEN IT!!!!!

Well? The anticipation is killing me!!!

Frederick: "Fine..." *slowly opens the creaky lid*

Vincent: *flies out*

*Adrastia slowly lurks in* Vincent!!!!

Vincent: "Umm...Yes?"

I'm your number 1 fan!!!!!

Frederick: "Remember that movie... Misery was it?"

Ahem! Shut up!!! Anyway... All the rumors are true!!! You are like... Ten... No twenty times hotter in person!

Vincent: "Umm... Thank you but... Please leave. I must repent... For my sins...."

Repent? Aww... Were you a bad boy? I just loooove bad boys!

Frederick: "So if I rob a liquor store you'll fall in love with me?"

Hmm... Let me think... Ummm.... NO!!!!

Frederick: "Well... It was worth a shot..."

Anyway... Here we see the lovely-

Vincent: "Wait a minute. Is that a camera?" *points to camera*

Why yes it is. We are doing a show.

Vincent: "About what?"

It's a nature show about bishounen!

Vincent: "And you picked... Me?"

Yep yep! ^_^

Vincent: "I am... Touched."

I'm glad! ^_^

Vincent: "No woman has ever picked me... Not since... I must sleep now. My sins..."

Frederick: "Dear lord, what a drama king!"

*BOP!!!* Shut up! Can't you see that we have touched the soul of this rare, solitary bishounen? This species is usually never this responsive to human contact. We have made a scientific breakthrough! This is amazing. And we've captured it all on film! I'll be a legend!

Frederick: "Will I be one too?"

Umm... No. But I'll remember to mention your name once or twice to the press. If I remember...

Frederick: "Gee... Thanks..."

You're welcome! ^_^

Frederick: *sigh*

Vincent: "So... You don't think I should repent...?"

No! You are too beautiful to hole yourself up in here like this. Go out into the world! You deserve it!"

Vincent: "But... I allowed Sephiroth to..."

Sephy pie? Aww he's a good guy! Don't worry. He's cool. I know him personally!

Frederick: "Through numerous stalking attempts, court hearings, restraining orders..."

Vincent: "So you are saying that I should forgive myself for things that were beyond my control and put my past behind me?"

That and... Well You are just way too hot to be cooped up in this crypt!

Vincent: "Then I shall go! Thank you! How can I ever repay you..."

Well... Would you let me track you with this tag here? I'll just clip it on your ear...

Vincent: "Ow..."

Aww... I'm sorry.

Vincent: "It's ok... I've had far worse done to me in the past. If you ever run into Hojo clip a couple of those ear tags onto his skinny, dorkwad ass for me ok?"

Will do!

Frederick: "Great... Another lawsuit..."

*and vincent leaves to begin a new life amongst the society he abandoned long ago*

We did a good deed! And we got it on film!!!

Frederick: "Whatever... Let's go already. This place gives me the creeps."

Fine... Jeez you are such a spoilsport...

*the next day*

Cloud: "Hey... Wasn't there supposed o be a guy in this coffin?"

Yuffie: "Yeah... That's what those notes we found said. Something about some experiment... Or something."

Cloud: "There's no one here."

Yuffie: "I know. What a ripoff! Hey now that we ditched Aeris and Tifa at the inn... You wanna make out?"

Cloud: "Sure! Why not!"

So concludes episode four