I Don't Like Songfics (Materia Girl)
I don't like songfics. Not at all. All sappy and everything. Well maybe if they made one about materia...
Maybe I should make up a songfic. About materia... Yeah. And then I could charge people materia to read it! I'll make a whole site! That you have to pay to see! Pay with materia and-
But I still wanna try to write something. You can buy materia on the internet now. Ever since that whole Sephiroth thing... No Shinra, no more mako monopoly. Hell, no more mako at all. But we still got materia. They call it organic now. Since it's only alowed to be natural not manufactured.
But you can buy it on the internet! Damn it's expensive though... I started stealing credit card numbers. Heehee. That's how I got addicted to the internet. Access was restricted during Shinra's reign. But not anymore!
I started reading fanfics. Then I noticed songfics! Did I mention that I hate songfics?
But I kept reading them anyway. Wutai sure is boring. I'm only staying here right now because of my father. And I figured I'd take a break from actively hunting materia.
After all, I did help save the planet. I deserve a vacation. Plus everybody here loves me. And they give me whatever I want. Even materia....
But I feel so non-productive. But I don't wanna stop this little joy ride just yet. Teehee...
So I think I'll write a fic! Yeah! About materia! A songfic about materia! Dontcha just love it? Even though I don't like songfics.
Now.... How to start... a simple story will do. And with all the damn songs on the radio these days no one's gonna know that I kinda took some liberties with this one here...Heheheh....
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Some materia summons, some materia heals
It had been a hard day for Yuffie. So young... So beautifull. Forced to steal materia for the good of her homeland. The lovely but positively boring Wutai.
"Gosh I'm tired," Yuffue said, changing into her pajamas. "I sure hope no cute guys like Cloud or Reno are peeping me while I change!"
I'm so cute the boys all plead
She ducked stealthly and quickly peeked a look outside the window. Cloud and Reno were right there! Giggling and blushing. Each had a huge gift basket of materia with Yuffie's name on it.
Living in a materia world
"Should I let them in?" Yuffie thought to herself still ducking and snatching glances from the window. "After all, they do have materia.... And they're such hotties too.... Teehee! they probably want to congradulate me for single handedly saving the planet! By giving me materia!"
All boys love me, all boys want me
Yuffie silently crept to the door and opened it.
"Ahem! What are you two doing here?" Yuffie asked, blushing.
"Umm... Umm.... We umm....," Reno started.
"Yeah and umm.... Uhh.... Heh...," Cloud added.
"Oh really? Yuffie replied. Pretending to be shocked.
Some boys blush, they can't handle their crush
"We umm... Uhh... Brought you some materia, Yuffie!" Reno stammered out.
"Yeah umm.... Tons of it. Just for you!' Cloud added nervously. They were both bright red. Blushing at the sight of the most beautifull materia hunting planet savior in the whole world.
Living in a materia world [materia!]
"For me?!" Yuffie cried out, pretending to be surprised.
"Yeah! Just for y-y-you, -Y-Yuffie!" Cloud stuttered as her nervously approached her with his basket of materia.
"Hey! I was first!" Reno shouted, pushing Cloud out of the way.
"No way, carrot top! She's mine! Get your own unbelievably hot and totally cool materia hunting heroine of the planet!" Cloud yelled.
"As if, spike-brain!" Reno yelled back. " I saw her first!".
"Oh no! Another fight over little ole' me?" Yuffie said blushing. "Now now... Don't fight boys. Just gimme the materia!"
I'm gonna give it to her first!" Reno shouted, zapping Cloud with his cattle prod. Cloud fell down and Reno grabbed his gift basket of materia. "Now I have two to give to Yuffie!"
Just then Cloud yanked Reno's leg, sending him sprawling. Materia spilled everywhere. "No way, Reno! If anyone's going to get the honor of giving Yuffie all that materia it's gonna be me!"
Boys may fight and boys may brawl
"Hey, boys....," Yuffie said, trying to break them apart. But it was no use. Reno and Cloud were just so darn in love with Yuffie that they just both had to have her.
Yuffie sighed. "That's just what happens when you have one Yuffie and hundreds, no thousands... No! Millions of fanboys! What a shame there aren't more of me to go around... Then again, there can be only one Yuffie!"
And having said that she began to pick up all the materia and sneak back into her house.
A materia, a materia, a materia, a materia world
Once inside she quickly fell asleep. And when she awoke the next morning Reno and Cloud were still fighting over her!
"She's mine, you spikey headed freak!" Reno yelled.
"In your dreams, Reno!" Cloud shouted back.
"Ahh....," Yuffie sighed as she began to count her materia. "Such is the curse of being me..."
Living in a materia world [materia!]
I sat back and read what I had wrote. Stunning! A masterpiece! I can't wait to put it on my homepage.
Maybe songfics aren't so bad after all....
~Fin~
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