Suddenly a light went off in Yuffie's head. "That Ifrit said somethin' 'bout Shiva...," she thought. "I got it everyone!"
The materia theif began to jump up and down with a big smile on her face as she took a red materia orb out of her pocket. "We can summon Shiva!"
"You are so smart Yuffie!" Rude beamed.
"I know! I know!" Yuffie said proudly.
Lucifer turned around, motioning the cokatolis closer. "You've got five minutes there carrot top! I hope ya be sayin' your prayers! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Suddenly he eyed Yuffie with the materia. "What do ya think you're doin' there lass?! Gonna summon your little pet chocobo are ya? Hahahaha! Isn't that precious!"
He waved his hand and a whirlwind of razor sharp shamrocks came hurling her way. Rude jumped in front of her to block them. The materia fell from Yuffie's hand and bounced slowly amidst the debris. Tseng snatched it up and stuck it into an empty slot in his armor. He
then summoned Shiva.
Both Lucifer and Ifrit's eyes widened as the beautiful ice spirit materialized before them.
"Shi- Shi- Shiva!" Lucifer cried.
The ice spirit laughed and pushed past him, throwing her arms around Ifrit and flashing a mocking smile at his brother."You don't have to tell me anything," She said. "Believe it or not this whole thing is the talk of the spirit world. And part of that talk is having Lucifer dethroned!"
"What?! No!" The prince of darkness cried. "You can't do that! I'm the devil!"
"You, my friend are a LOSER!" Ifrit laughed.
While this was going on Vincent nodded to Ifrit who nodded back. "Heheheh... I'll rule hell for sure now!" The red fire demon thought. "All I have to do is get Shiva to distract him for a few seconds... Then when his guard is down.... Heheheheh, piece of cake!"
He then whispered his plan in Shiva's ear, making her giggle.She floated over to Lucifer smiling.
The devil clicked his heals. "I knew you'd be comin' back to me lass!" He said, rubbing his palms together.
Shiva grinned slyly and began her distraction. "Oh, Lucifer," she said seductively. "I never realized you were so hot."
The devil grinned, aparently too smitten to see through this flimsey charade. "So you've finally realized that I'm the man for you eh?"
"Oh yes, you handsome devil...," the ice spiritreplied.
Lucifer grinned. "This is going to be me lucky night!" he thought.
Little did he know that Ifrit was ready to strike. He had to be carefull though, he didn't want to seal Shiva up. Once it was set in motion there was no way to stop it and anyone present inside the circle of the seal
would be trapped in hell for one-hundred years.
In order to cast the spell, the intended sealee had to be somewhat incapacitated. And the way Lucifer was oogling over Shiva, Ifrit thought it would be a piece of cake.
"I just hope I can do it without harming my woman...," he thought, waiting for exactly the right moment to cast his spell.
"Wait a durned minute!" Shera cried. "What about-"
Vincent quickly covered her mouth with his hand. "Shhh...," He whispered. "Once Lucifer is in the circle of the seal he'll be at our mercy. Just be patient and have faith, Shera."
She nodded and waited. Normally Shera wasn't so flightly and she felt ashamed that she had turned into such a sniveling mess. But she really loved Cid and couldn't deal with the fact that he might never return to life again.
On the wall, Rufus was still crying. Tseng was enjoying the fact that this time it was his boss being put on the spot and not him. Plus, there was no way Elena would want a big crybaby like Rufus.
Shiva began whispering seductive things into Lucifer's ear. "Close your eyes, I have a surprise..."
"A surprise eh lass? And what would it be?" Lucifer asked, grinning.
"Oh, you'll see... Just close your eyes...," she replied.
Lucifer rubbed his palms together and closed his eyes. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!" He thought excitedly.
Shiva nodded to Ifrit and began to move backwards slowly. She motioned for Vincent and the others to quietly take cover. When the coast was clear she spoke. "Ok, Lucifer darling... Get ready for your big surprise..."
She then summoned all of her strength and the most powerfull version of Diamond Dust she could manage. It drained her strength but the effect was amazingly strong. So strong that Vincent, Tseng and Cloud all cast Wall at the same time to protect themselves from the blast. Mayor Domino fainted and had to be dragged back a bit by Miss Green. Ifrit was glad that he was wearing his Aurora Armlet. It was a very popular armor
amongst fire demons for obvious reasons. And of course it was also handy to have one if you were dating Shiva.
Within seconds Lucifer was covered to the waist in ice. He couldn't move. Quickly, before his brother could react, Ifrit cast the seal and a large, glowing, red circle appeared around the prince of darkness.
"Blazin' shamrocks!" Lucifer cried. "The seal?! I'm frozen! Shiva you blarney banshee! You tricked me!"
Shiva laughed and folded her arms. "Like I'd ever go out with you again! Ifrit is three times the man you are or could ever hope to be!"
"You turn Cait and my Cid back to flesh right now." Shera cried.
"And don't ferget everyone else you tricked, transformed or terrorized!" Yuffie added.
"I won't be doing anything!" Lucifer cried, struggling against both the ice and the seal's hold on him. "You aren't going to be sealing me up for a hundred years! It's no fun down there! Why do you think I created
that materia a few millenia ago? So I could have some fun!"
"Fun?!" Cloud cried. "You call this fun?!" I don't think you have a choice as to whether or not you undo all the harm you did."
"He's right," Ifrit said. "You are at our mercy. We'll hold you here as long as it takes. Now hurry up! I don't have all day. Me and Shiva have a date tonight!"
"You can start with turning Cid and Cait back." Sephiroth said.
"Fine!" Lucifer said. "But don't you think this is over Ifrit! Even if you do get to be the next devil I'll never let you live down what you've done to me!"
Ifrit just laughed and thought to himself that maybe he'd make Lucifer into an outhouse demon when they got back to hell.
Meanwhile, the near-former prince of darkness was looking around confused. "I don't see any statues of anybody."
Shera exploded into a rage and started tearing madly through the rubble.Finally, underneath some burned boards she glimpsed smooth grey stone. "Cid!" She cried.
Barret and Sephiroth helped her clear the debris, exposing the statues of Midgar Gulch's law enforcement officers.
Lucifer sighed. He had hoped they would of been smashed so he wouldn't have to give them all the satisfaction of undoing some of his best work. He waved his hands, sprinkling a fine white dust that settled upon the
stone figures of the sheriff and deputy who immediately transformed.
Shera threw her arms around Cid and began to cry. Cait cracked his knuckles and complained he had a backache.
"Oh Cid!!!" Shera cried. "Cid!"
"Damn near felt like I was a %@*&$! mountain or something!" Cid said. "When I get my hands on the #$&% bastard who-"
"It's already taken care of." Red answered.
Cid looked around him. "My town! My $#*&@ town!"
Before anyone could say anything else Rufus began to scream. "What about me! Get me down!"
Lucifer shook his head. "What a crybaby!" He thought, waving his hand.
Suddenly both the wall and the Cokatolis disappeared. Rufus floated down to the ground where he began to scream that he was suing everyone. Lucifer then cast Sleepel to shut him up. Everyone was relieved at that.
"I can't fix the town. I'm a devil not an architect." Lucifer said in belated response to Cid.
"Then the %#*^@ Shinra is payin' for it!" Cid cried.
Satisfied, Ifrit cast the final spell, sealing away his brother.
"Now I'm gonna be king!" Ifrit cried. "Alright! I gotta go now, Vincent, everyone. I just want to say that I'm not going to cause any trouble on the surface once I become lord of the underworld. I've spent too much
time as a summoned entity to want to cause harm. I just intend to punish the wicked. Maybe start a rehabilitation program for the promising
ones."
And with that, both he and Shiva disappeared.
"Is it really... Over?" Cait asked, looking around. "The town... Our home... Gone!"
Cid went over to Rufus and kicked him awake. "You better get started carrot top! You got a whole lot of %#*@$ buildin' to do!"
"I don't think so!" Rufus yelled groggily. "This is my land! Mine! And I'm not rebuilding this stupid town!"
"You fired everyone," Tseng interrupted. "I don't know who's going to build your refinery! Are you going to do it all yourself? Hmm?"
"I've... I've changed my mind Tsing... Tsong... Uhhh... whatever!" Rufus said. "I'm rehiring Shinra. But you are all taking a pay cut! I'm not dishing out big salaries when I'm already losing money by cleaning up
this mess. I'm also raising the mako rates 58%!"
"GWAHAHAHA!" Heidegger laughed.
"Stop that stupid horse laugh you idiot!" Rufus ordered. "Now... You people will just have to build another Modgar Galch somewhere else. I'll sell you some prime real estate by the mythril mine."
"That land's a &!$#@% swamp!" Cid yelled.
"And there's a big, ugly serpent swimmin' 'round in there!" Yuffie added.
"Fine!" Rufus said. "Fine! I'll relocate you over the damn mountains, by the river! For free! One time only offer! Just because I feel generous. Don't think I'll ever be this generous ever again!"
"Fine by me!" Cid said. "It's about time Shinra did something usefull for a change!"
Later, as preparations were being made to gather all of the citizens who fled Midgar Gulch, Sephiroth went behind a heap of rubble and took Tifa the frog out of his pocket. She assaulted him with a barrage of curses
which comicaly came out as loud ribbits.
"I wonder if fairy tales can be reversed...," Sephiroth mused. "Well, here goes nothing!"
He then kissed frog-Tifa, quickly before she realized what he was about to do. In his heart he wished she'd turn back into the surly, beautiful town drunk he had grown to love, and she did.
Standing before him was a very angry Tifa who kicked him in the shin and knocked him down with a barage of limit breaks.
"You got alotta nerve bleach brain! I oughta send you on a one way trip ta' painville!"
"But Tifa...," he pleaded.
"You made me miss all tha' action!" She screamed. "I knew you did that to git me all vulnerable so's you could kiss me! I knew it!"
No, Tifa," Sephiroth pleaded. "It's not that. I was trying to protect you and I thought that maybe things would go smoother without you in the way. You were pretty drunk and-"
"And what?!" She yelled. "I'm gonna make you sorry you was ever born!"
And that argument went on for hours...
Shera hadn't let Cid go the whole time he was planning the move across the mountains. But he really didn't find it irratating. He planned on marrying her as soon as they were settled. Until the new town was built
they would all stay at the hotel the people of Fort Condor had built at the foot of the tower with hopes that it would attract tourists to see the mating of the condors. They really needed the money after that
battle they had with Shinra.
Tseng was going to ask Elena out to dinner at the lovely Zemzelet Dining Hall in upper Junon. He had decided to forget about the suspensions he had given Rude and Reno. After all, it was bad enough that they had all gotten pay cuts, except Elena. Rufus had given her a raise in an attempt to get her attention.
Rude, despite that fact that he was a few years older than Yuffie, still found her quite attractive and enjoyable to be around. He wondered if perhaps she'd like to go to the Gold Saucer with her sometime. He
couldn't wait to ask.
Reno was a bit jealous of Tseng and Elena. Up until now he had never realised that he liked Elena too. He began to slyly plan a way to pull them apart. After all, being devious was one of his specialties.
Cloud was getting chased around by Aeris again. He was beginning to actually like her and her little brat. After all, Zack had been his best friend for years.
Vincent had disappeared again. He never told anyone where he went. It would have to remain a secret for now. For Lucretia's sake...
So, the residents of Midgar Gulch moved their town over the mountains to a lovely spot by the river. Construction went smoothly despite the fact that Tifa kept complaining that the bar wasn't being built fast enough. Sephiroth tried to calm her by buying her drinks at Fort Condor but Tifa kept complaining that they were watered down. Sephiroth guessed that she would never change. He actually liked her best this way. After a bit of prodding she even agreed to go out with him, providing that he buy the drinks of course.
Cid missed the old Midgar Gulch but he had to admit, the new location had much better scenery and less pollution. He married Shera right after the town was completed.
Mayor Domino skipped out to Costa Del Sol as soon as he could. As long as he had his job he didn't care. Although, this time his whale of a wife had purchased a flaming red string bikini to wear on the beach and it looked about two sizes too small. He sincerely hoped that he wouldn't go blind when she parked her enormous backside on the beach. Too bad Miss Green had decided to take care of some things in the newly built Midgar Gulch, atleast she looked great in a string bikini.
Everything else was pretty much the same though, Cait was still dreaming of his fantasy woman Leilani, Rufus was still yelling at everyone and popping CalmAll like candy, Tseng still complained about his work related stress, ect...
And soon the inevitable mako refinery would be built...
Barret and Red went back their jobs as police officers for Kalm. Barret was glad to be away from what he called "The $%&@! hick town he'd ever seen", but Red found himself missing it.
But some people weren't very happy about the new Midgar Gulch, and it was only a matter of time before trouble began to brew again. But that's another story...
~Fin