"Ya' been cheated?" Cid asked.
"Hell yeah! I sure have! Spikey haired freak took every red cent he did!" Tifa replied.
"Well", said Cid, "Yer causin' a heap a' $&@#$& trouble and as soon as ya' sober up I want ya' outa this town, hear? Now I'm a goin' to the Golden Chocobo ta' git my $%#^@ mako tea. The deputy will watch ya, jus' incase ya' try anything. Although You'd be plenty foolish to try."
And having said that he then walked out the door.
Tifa looked at the the ridiculess form that was Cait Sith and said, "You are the weirdest lookin' varmit I ever did see? What in the hell are ya?"
"I am a fortune telling machine." Cait Sith replied.
"I don't care what he says, he still looks like a cat ridin' a mog ta' me!" A voice from the next cell said.
Don't ya' ever shut up Yuffie! You've been here more times than I can count and yer always a loudmouth! Cait Sith yelled back. Now I know what I look like but I'm more than jus' that."
Uh-huh, an' I'm president Shinra! Yuffie replied. Yer jus' a freaky lookin' weirdo!"
Tifa started to laugh and Yuffie joined her.
"Well then", Cait Said. I think I'll take me a nap in the back! I'm mighty tired. You too are quite a riot. I'm not that easily offended you know. I gots a sense of humor too.
Cait then went into the back room and fell promptly asleep, leaving his charges to converse amongst themselves.
The girl in the next cell then said, "I'm glad he's gone! He's been teasin' me 'bout my bad reputation all day! My name's Yuffie! Nice ta' meet ya'! What's yer name?"
Tifa then said sourly, "If ya' must know it's Tifa....."
So then Tifa..... Whatcha in fer?" asked Yuffie. "I'm in fer stealin' materia this time. I've been here about eight times before. The only reason sherriff Cid ain't hanged me is 'cause he only thinks that murderers should get hung! Well them an' those with the Shinra! Sherriff Cid don't like the Shinra one bit. Either do I."
"If ya' must know, the sherriff says I was bein' a troublesome drunk. But that weirdo in red was starin' at me funny." tifa grumbled.
"Well", Yuffie said, "Then you'll prob'ly be out as soon as ya' sober up, jus' like the sherriff said. Hey? What town ya' from? I'm from Wutai."
"Nibelheim......" Tifa replied, quite annoyed with Yuffie already.
"Nibelheim?" Yuffie said, "Ain't that on somewheres around Rocket town? Past the mountains? Sherriff Cid's from Rocket Town he is! Ya' ever been ta' rocket Town? Huh? They've got a big 'ole space contraption there an'-
Tifa, having reached the zenith point of annoyence yelled, "Don't ya' ever shut up? Holy ancients! Give that yap a rest already!"
"Hmmph!" Yuffie said, I was jus' tryin' ta' make converstation!"
Well, keep quiet so I can figure me a way outa here!" Tifa said. "'Cause I got me a good fer nothin' cheat ta' track down!"
Meanwhile, the darkly clad figure took his ear away from the window and brushing back a tendril of silvery hair though to himself, "So, she wishes to escape.... I can arrange that. She'll lead me right to him too.... I will wait for nightfall, then I'll free her. Finally, I will have my
chance......"
He then teleported away to make preparations for this evening. He would make sure that this time Cloud would not escape his wrath.
Right about this time Cid was at the Golden Chocobo bar yelling about his tea.
"What the $%@# kinda tea is this Shera? It's the worst %^@# tea I've ever had! Shera you are such a %@*@# dumbass!" He yelled, slaming his glass down on the bar. "Can't you even make decent ^$%@* cup of tea!!??"
Now Shra was a bit shook up but by now she was used to the sherriff's vulgar sailor language and constant criticism about her tea making abillities. None of the other customers complained so it really got her gall that Cid was the only one to curse out her tea.
Shera sighed and said, "Ok ok! keep them britches on an' I'll git ya' some more tea!"
As Shera was getting more tea a thought crossed Cid's mind. "Maybe I'm a bit too hard on her. After all the tea wasn't that %@&# bad."
He then said in his nicest, profanity free voice, "Hey Shera. whaddya say I make up fer all that yellin' by takin' ya' out on the town tonight? Jus' you an' me."
Now this was music to Shera's ears. She had been waiting for this moment for years now.
Her face turned red as she replied, "Oh Cid! I reckon I'm plum near more excited than a mog in a kupo tree! After all these years ya' finally asked me out! I'm a closin' early tonight I am!"
"Well then", Cid said, "I'll pick ya' up at sundown."
"I'll wear my sunday best!" Shera said as Cid left to go back to his office to tell the deputy he'd be absent for the night shift.
Cloud sat on the bed of his small room at Midgar Gulch's Mog Tree hotel. If what he had saw from his window earlier was true, if his eyes weren't decieving him, then it was true and He was here. What if She was here to? What then?
"I'm not afraid of them no how." Cloud said to himself. But inside he was a bit shook up. He thought maybe he should leave but his ego got the best of him.
"I never walk away." He said. "Never."
The hours passed by quickly and it was near sundown. Shera was getting ready to empty out the bar when she noticed that that scary looking man in red, Vincent as he called himself was still there. Still at the same table that was so viciously battered by that ragtag drunken trouble maker.
"As the ancients are my witness she'll pay for that table!" Shera thought.
She made her way through the bar telling everyone she was closing up early for personal matters. There were some complaits but no problems. But she saw that someone was still there. It was him. Vincent.
"Excuse me........ ummm...... sir, I'm a' closin' up early an'-
He broke in mid sentence. "I don't think that it is a good idea for you and the sherriff to go out tonight. He's in town ma'am. There will be trouble..... I've been waiting for him.
Shera was both confused and annoyed. She'd had it up to here with this red eyed weirdo.
"An' who's He? If I may ask?" she said, a touch of irratation in her voice.
"Sephiroth........" Vincent replied as he got up and walked out the door. "You have been warned........"
"What a carob nut he is!" Shera exclaimed as she locked up and went home to get ready for the date she had been waiting for all her life.
Meanwhile Sephiroth was ready to take his plans into action. He had overheard the sherriff and the bar keep. Now he could take the drunken girl out of jail and proceed. He wasn't even considering that ridiculess deputy a threat. He knew his secret anyway and he could use that against him. Anyone that stood in Sephiroths way would feel the deep, sharp sting of the masamune cutting through them as they drew their last breath. Especially Cloud and that metal-clawed freak who had been tracking him.
Cid came into the sherriff's office just about as happy as a white chocobo that was petted behind the ears.
"Got me a date Cait!" he said as he came in.
Tifa looked up sourly. "Cat freak's in the back. Asleep he is! Now let me out! I need me a drink!"
Cid just laughed. "Ain't neither of ya' goin' anywhere. Only one here that's a' goin' anywhere is me! I got me a date!" Cid said rather proudly.
Tifa threw her head back and laughed. "With yer' ugly mug? HA! I've seen behemoth's behinds that look better n' that! HAHAHA!"
"Yer a mighty #^@&#@ lucky you's behind bars right now!"
"Yippee fer us!" added Yuffie.
"So...... ", Tifa asked. "Who's the unlucky lady stuck with yer ugly mug and lousy personality fer the night?"
Ain't none of yer buisness!" Cid replied.
"Prob'ly Shera!" Yuffie chimed in. "Everyone knows they got sparks between 'em."
"We do not!" Cid almost yelled as he went in the back to tell the deputy he was going on a date.
"Shera.......? She work at that ragscagly bar?" asked Tifa.
"Yeah she does." Yuffie replied.
"Well I got a bone to pick with her! I'll add her to my list along with mog turd and weirdo! Now that I think of it that Shera was the one that said I caused all the trouble! I'll git her too I will! Right after I git through with mog turd and weirdo!
"Who are they?" Yuffie asked.
"Jus' some folks that crossed me." Tifa replied. Ain't no one crosses Tifa Lockheart!"
Sephiroth watched as Cid left the sherriff's office with a big, ridiculess smile on his face.
"It's time." he thought. "Time..........."
Meanwhile, Cloud lay restless in his hotel bed. He hadn't had a good rest in days and he just couldn't fight the sinking suspicion that both that gorgeous woman from the chocobo track, and his arch nemesis Sephiroth were both here waiting for him.
Sephiroth peered into the window of Tifa's cell. Now that the sherriff was gone everything would fall into place.
"That idiot deputy has fallen asleep in the back, well his catnaps will be the death of him." he thought as he crept up closer to the barred window.
"You", he wispered. "I will free you."
Tifa jumped, as did Yuffie who at the moment was reading a manga she had stolen from the general store.
"What the-! Who's there? You teasin' me? I'm commencin' to gittin' hoppin' mad!" Tifa said in her smarmy voice.
"Who's that?" Yuffie asked.
"Some fool that's what!" Better not be that mog turd!
Sephiroth was more than a bit annoyed but he went on. This drunken troublemaker would lead him right to Cloud. He knew it.
"I have come to free you." he said. His voice smooth and honest. "I believe we are after the same person. Cloud Strife has wronged me too....... I want revenge. I'm breaking you out."
"Jail break?!" Yuffie yelled. "I'm in!"
Sephiroth scowled. This girl was annoying. "I'm afraid I don't need you." he said coldly.
"What?! That ain't fair! I want out! I got places to go and things to steal! Lemme out!"
"Now hold your chocobos there all of ya'!" Tifa said. "How's I know you can be trusted?" How can I be sure you ain't pullin' no tricks?"
"You just have to trust me. Now please the sooner we get going the better." Sephiroth said in his most convincing voice.
Tifa pondered this for a moment then said, "If I trust ya' will ya' buy me a bottle of mako Jack Daniels, 'cause I plan revenge much better when I'm plastered."
"Ok, fine...... whatever you want. Just as long as I find Cloud." Sephiroth answered.
"An what about me?" Yuffie whined. "I want out too ya' know!"
"She might make a good pawn.... after all they are both but mere puppets anyway." Sephiroth thought.
"Very well, you too."
Cait Sith was catnapping in the back as usual. He had grown very lazy since he became a fortune telling machine. No one knew the "secret" and he inteneded to keep it that way. He used to be a handsome Shinra employee named Reeve. All the female employees were after him. He was a real stud in his opinion. But one day tragedy struck in the form of
Scarlett. He had to break a date with her because of an emergency dentist appointment. His dentist happened to be a rather lovely lady and Scarlett got the notion that he had broke the date for some "special TLC" from the dentist when all he really was doing was getting a bonding repaired. Scarlett shot him with Sister Ray and all that was left of him were brains. Hojo implanted them into a robotic stuffed cat riding a mog and here he was. Living life in secret shame in Midgar Gulch of all places. He was dreaming of laying on the beach at Costa Del Sol, tanning himself while lovely ladies in bikinis oiled his back. All the while
unaware that Sephiroth had taken the liberty to teleport in and free his jailbirds.
"Open the cell already!" Tifa said in a loud wisper.
"The keys must be with the deputy." Sephiroth said. "I will take care of it."
He then opened the door to the deputy's office and looked around. The keys were on Cait's belt and Sephiroth lifted them off with ease.
Cait Sith snored and mumbled, "Oh Leilani, that tickles! More oil on my back..... Zzzzzz....."
Sephiroth was disgusted. He teleported back and quietly opened the cells.
"Let us go now". he said. "Before the deputy wakes."
They snuck out quietly and went to the secret hideout Sephiroth had prepared. It was an abandoned barn just outside of town.
Ya' know," Tifa began, "All this here fuss to break me out and I don't even know yer name bleach head! Mine's Tifa! Now be square an' tell me yours! And don't go thinkin' I'll be sweet on ya' jus' 'cause ya' sprung me!"
"My name is Sephiroth."
That's a funny name if ya' ask me! A might familiar but funny jus' the same bleach head." Tifa replied.
"My hair color is natural." Sephiroth said.
"Yeah! And I'm a zemzelet's uncle!" Tifa laughed.
Sephiroth just ignored this comment and turned to Yuffie. "And who are you?"
"The name's Yuffie! I'm world famous fer stealin'! Yer kinda cute...... you single?"
Sephiroth almost laughed. "I am a lone wolf. I need no one."
Yuffie just blushed. "Shy huh? Heehee! I like that."
Sephiroth ignored her and turned to Tifa. "Now, let us discuss the plan."
Cait Sith awoke slowly from his most pleasant dream. It was time to check the prisoners anyway. He didn't want sherriff Cid on his case for not doing his job righly and promptly.
He opened the door and was shocked by the sight of the open, empty cells.
"What the-! I jail break? I only dozed off a minute....... Cid will have my head! Great! Now I gotta deal with this! I hate to ruin Cid's evenin' with his lady friend...... but I ain't got a choice!"
Cait Sith then rushed out of the sherriff's office to find Cid.