Hey You-yeah YOU.

It's always a rainy day without you.

Happy Spanks-giving
welp i ate too much and feel like im gonna explode...food..gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins isnt it?i understand why its deadly....i think the swelling in the stomach from gorging myself with 30 pounds of food isnt allowing me to breath correctly....lalala yep oh speaking of eating too much that reminds me Happy Birthday to
"Miguel "zee liar"Zelaya you lying-ass loser- hope you get your cake and over eat it all too.

You know what i think is wrong wit ppl?
no matter how much we already have.....we are always thinking we want bigger and better....whats wrong with what you already have? it doesnt pay to be greedy...youll only end up miserable thinking of what you dont have....why not be happy with what you do have?Just like how you have it right now....it can just as easily be all taken away.....trust me i know....how many times have i had to start all over again and again....but i keep my head up...im not better or worse than anyone else whether they have a Lexus or on foot..if they live in a mansion or in a shelter....we are all the same...are material things really that important?do we have to always have to have the most expensive things?will that matter when you die? when your life is over....
which would you rather say:
"I had a beautiful home and car and expensive things?"
or
"I had real and meaningful relationships and made beautiful memories with people i love."

which would you rather have as your legacy?

i feel somewhat guilty for having so much food....
i dont think we should just give thanks for what we have one day a year....
family should be celebrated everyday,as soon as you wake you should be thankful for the people in your life.i know that i probably sound corny and cheesy but i mean it.

im gonna stop here not because i am done talking about it but because i cant find the right words... i dont take anyone for granted.and i hope everyone knows what they mean to me.


Much Love to Everyone Everyday not just on the holidays
-Tara yep yep

LOVE


Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Life Sucks and then my friend you die.....And Then My FRIEND You DIE
I dont know what the titles all about,anyways...
im thinkin bout something that pisses me off....here as of late-I have become very predictable,and thats just not right-what the hell has happened to me?im supposed to just come up with stuff no one would think of-i need to shock myself.

i used to have quick comebacks and sarcastic remarks for everything.....i was hyper and happy
and look at me now....well i still look the same,but im not the same,somewhere someone put out the light that was me.and im not really anything anymore.just bleh.What the fuck?this sucks.im afraid to say anything anymore ...everything i say is wrong or stupid,or hurts someones feelings,i dont fit in.
why cant i be myself anymore?because everytime i am-its wrong. ahh fuck it,im jus confusing myself-whoever that is.

same stuff
i need something new to think about.....or do.i feel like im going stale,or maybe a broken record.it is very frustrating,i need some inspiration,im tired of my mind thinking in those same circles over and over again.its time for a change.for sure.


"As I Grew Older"
it was a long time ago,
i have almost forgotten my dream,
but it is there then
in front of me,
bright as the sun-
my dream.

and then the wall rose,
rose slowly,
slowly,
between me and my dream.
rose slowly,
slowly,
dimming,
hiding,
the light of my dream,
rose until it touched the sky-
the wall.

shadow.
i am black.

i lie down in the shadow,
no longer the light of my dream.
before me,above me.
only the thick wall.
only the shadow.

my hands!
my dark hands!
break through the wall!
find my dream!
help me shatter this darkness,
to smash this night,
to break this shadow,
into a thousand lights of sun,
into a thousand whirling dreams of sun.


-"sounds of blackness"
i think i cant remember the title....

and umm stuff
i decided that im not going to take a nap today...so everyone......lets pray....lol

hmm
do you think there is such a thing as fate or destiny?
are some things just meant to be?
hmmm
i would like to know.

sleep a too too much ....blah
hmm i went to sleep at midnight guess what time i woke up?hmm?3 p.m. i dub myself a loser.that is correct.i am a loser.i had the weirdest dreams....
in one all my younger siblings were little again and i am the same age as i am now.....and they were running around this parking lot and im chasing them tryin to get em back in the car and panicing....i caught Syd and umm some other kid i know it wasnt my sibling cuz it was another little girl-oops i got another sister i guess. then it kinda switched to a different dream and this one was really strange i was saying this and it kinda went with what i was saying
"Silver wings of time,if you could give me a moment clouded from the eyes of destiny"
and "time" was this silver/blue-ish color swirling around me in this tunnel and "destiny" was this glass ceiling of the tunnel.
and i guess i was asking for a pause in my dream....because everyones destiny ultimately leads to death and i didnt want to do that just yet.
maybe time has wings because it flies and maybe destiny is glass because you can see at the end is just that the end. we all know we are going to have one.maybe the tunnel was my life and i dont know whats in there-i know whats at the end...jus not whats in between it and i needed to stop and think about what i want to be in there before i go but i dont want to waste time just thinking about it.and maybe the glass, meant that i couldnt hide from what is waiting for me...it sees me and i see it.but i cant outrun it,or do anything about it.oh well i think im thinking too much about something that was just a dream.

i missed talking to Hoa last night.id never intentionally choose something as dumb as sleep over him.i hate sleeping so long.it sucks its really gettin in the way of me doin other stuff.damn

'nother dear God someone stop me.....save me from myself
The shoes you wore today:black umm cute ones

Your weakness:not being able to say no damn

what is:

Your most overused phrase:umm,uhh,i dont know.

Your thoughts first waking up: how long did i sleep?

Your best physical features: is sunny disposition considered physical?fine my eyes i guess i dont know

Your usual bedtime: bedtimes are for losers

Your greatest accomplishment:uhh giving birth?

Your best memory:holding Terrence the first time.

Do You:

Cuss: sometimes

Sing well: uhh maybe not well but i do it anyways

Take a shower everyday:yes unless i take a bath

Want to get married?: yes

Believe in yourself:need to start to doing that

Get motion sickness: sometimes

Think you're attractive: im a sexy bitch

Think you're a health freak:lol nope

Get along with your parents: my Mom yes-dad no-hell no
Like thunderstorms: sometimes

Play an instrument: wish i could

in the past month, did/have you:

Drank alcohol: yeah

Done a drug:prescription ones yeah ...... and i do a drug named caffiene every freaking day shhh

Made Out:no=(

Go on a date:no

Go to the mall: hmm cant remember

Been dumped: no

Gone skating: no

Made homemade cookies: no

Gone skinny dipping: no

Dyed your hair: think so

Stolen anything: no

have you ever?:
Played a game that required removal of clothing: no

Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yeah

Been caught "doing something":what does "doing something" mean?

Been called a tease: yes but its a lie.:|

Gotten beaten up: yeah


Shoplifted:when i was 13 uhoh got in trouble big time for that lil stupid ass thing

If so, did you get caught: yep by my mom

Changed who you were to fit in:no way im already cool

the future:
Age you hope to be married: 24?lol

Numbers and Names of Children: already have a son,Terrence.wish i had a girl,need a husband first tho.

Describe your Dream Wedding: hmmm..lemme think bout that.....never detailed it all out lol

What age do you want to die: I don't.

What do you want to be when you grow up: a singer lol

What country would you most like to visit: ahh but there are so many....i cant choose only one....

currently:

Current Mood:bored

Current Taste: tea

Current Hair:down and straight

Current Smell:umm versace yellow jeans smell good to me

Current Worry: i need a damn job

another one...i cant stop myself =( help me
* Date: november 8,2003
* Name On Birth Certificate: tara jaclyn smith
* Age: 23
* Birthday: june 15 1980
* School: ha im a loser
* Eyes: blue
* Hair: you know it
* Height: 5'5"-5-6" not sure
* Shoe Size: 8 1/2 womens
* Who lives with you:question should be-who do i live with lol
* When is your bedtime?: Whenever damn well please lol



Have You Ever:
* Flown on a plane: Yes. Several times.

* Ever been so drunk you blacked out: Yeah shame on me
* Missed school because it was raining: prolly
* Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Yeah
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: umm no-hell no
* Had a crush on a friends girlfriend/boyfriend:
prolly thought they were cute or something wouldnt say crush tho
* Been hurt emotionally:yes=(
* Kept a secret from everyone: Yes
* Had an imaginary friend: lol yeah cliff im a loser
* wanted to hook up with a friend:yeah
* Cried during a Movie?: yes lord of the flies among many others
* Ever thought an animated character was hot?: haha yeah shh dont tell
* Been on stage: no dammit
* Cut your hair: yep yep....lotsa times
* Had crush on a teacher? dont think so...

Favourites

* Shampoo: ones that smell good
* Day/Night: night
* Summer/Winter:fall dammit
* Lace or Satin: neither...umm how bout cotton or uhh something soft satin and silk kinda scare me
* Fave Cartoon Character: hmmm cant think right off the bat
* Fave Food:mmmm food uhh something tasty
* Fave Advertisement: the uhh help one since i dont know any recent ones
* Fave Movies: uhh i gots lots
* Fave Drink: tea mt dew caffiene yeah baby
* Person to talk to online: Hoa of course
* Fave sport: sports......thats umm...what is it?
* Fave Car: one that goes
* Fave sports stars: HAH!

Right Now

* Wearing: black pants white button up and gray sweater
* Eating:ate some burritos
* Drinking:tea
* Thinkin bout: that im desperately bored since im fillin another one of these out

In The Last 24 Hrs

* Cried: dont think i did
* Worn jeans: yeah
* Met someone New online:nopey
* Done laundry: yep
* Drove a car: not today
* Talked on the phone? yep

Do You Believe In

* Yourself: i should start doing that
* Your friends: couple
* Santa Claus: uhh that fat bastard never bring me anything
* Tooth Fairy: shes a stingy bitch too
* Destiny/Fate: yes
* Angels: yes
* Ghosts: hmm scary
* UFO's: dont know dont think bout it
* God: yes

Friends And Life

* Do you ever wish you had another name?no i like my name
* Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? umm i got a wife so there hah
* Do you love anyone? Yes
* Which one of your friends acts the most like you? hmm i dont know how i act really
* Who have you known the longest of your friends: uhhh.....
* Who's the loudest:shelby?i dont know
* Who's the shyest: me...yes i am my own friend
* Who's the weirdest friend?: uhhh...?
* Who do you go to for stuff?: huh?
* Who do you hang around the most?myself
* When have you cried the most: uhh like i guess when im sad?
* What's the best feeling in the world:"to be loved to be loved oh what a feeling-to be loved!!
* Worst Feeling:to be forgotten tossed aside bastards
* What time is it now? 9:11 pm

Finish Each Sentence

* Let's walk in the:umm road?no! crosswalk
* Let's run through: a live news report naked!haha
* Let's look at the:umm want ads
* Who are those: people called they?they are always doing stuff
* What a nice:pair of shoes
* Where did all these:dirty dishes come from?!?!
* When will they:gimme a million dollars?
* How are:ya doin?
* Why can't you: jus gimme a lil kissy
* So where did you: get that idea from?
* Sing the: umm song from a goofy movie
* Easier than: heck
* Hotter than a: virgin on prom night
* Look at my:ass!isnt it cute!?lmao
* I'll stay if: you want me too and i like ya and you like me and youll give me hugs and kisses and cuddle with me and stuff and let me hug and kiss ya back =P
* Silly, little,:me.
* Show me some:skin
* The sky is: umm blue sometimes and uhh cloudy sometimes and it changes alot and stuff
* Tell me :whatcha want
* Love me,: because im so very loveable and loving and stuff
* Grab the: dew and run for it
* I hate your stupid: rules and laws like stealing is bad.lol
* My mom thinks you're:umm nice?i dont know what my mom thinks lol
* I'm not:mean dammit
* Are you that: one girl...
* I missed:all the tv shows since 1997 lol
* "Can't you: see what you do to me,our love was meant to be...you were made for me"-total and notorious b.i.g.
* Lovely little:snooky