I've been trying to restructure my life for a while.
Ever since the turn of the new year, I haven't really had much stability.
So now I'm trying to sort things out. Not really as far as school and band
and work go or anything, more like socially. I need to find some comfort
zone socially, so I don't feel so outcast. Not like I think that no one
wants to be my friend or anything, nor that I don't like the people that
are my friends now. It's just a matter of me not actually hanging out with
the people who I'm friends with. In self-analysis, I don't like structure
or routine as far as everyday life goes. Not in school life, work life,
spiritual life, anything. However, when it comes to social life, I like
stability and certainty. I don't like to think "man, who am I gonna hang
out with this weekend?"... I'd much rather think "man, what are we gonna
do this weekend?" I generally prefer a steady continuous group of
friends, or even a select few friends that I can expect to hang out with
where it's abnormal to not hang out on a given friday or saturday or whatever.
Throughout high school, I have been friends with a vast number of different
such groups, varying much in preferences and style... but for some reason,
I seem to alienate myself from groups. Maybe it's a self-image issue, where
I think I bug people too much so I keep my distance. I dunno. At the moment,
I definitey have a scattered group of friends who I really like and I do
hang out with from time to time. Maybe my problem is that I am holding
on too much to the friendship style of last summer, where we were a close-knit
group of people who hung out basically DAILY. Nonetheless, I'm done rambling
for today.
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Image of the Day
Before there was Joe Millionaire, there was Joe White, the man who tried
to trick young sailors into thinking he was gay just so he could rob them.
As you can see by the picture on the left, he was great at pretending to
be gay. |
Lyric of the Day - "Living In Your Letters" by Dashboard Confessional
Continually failing these trials,
but you stand by me nonetheless.
And you won't let me sink,
though I'm beggin' you.
I'm beggin' you.
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