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 Archive -- Week 43: 4/20/03 - 4/26/03
Song of the Week: The Offspring - Self Esteem
8 out of 16 people are very, but not infinitely forgiving,
granting others "a significant, but not limitless" number of chances in life.
April 20, 2003 - perhaps baked eggs would be most appropriate.
I'm not a very "holiday" kinda guy... the big "celebrated" ones are like regular days but with more things you have to do. I say this now, but I'm sure it's only because of the funk I've been in lately. I'm kind of turned off to everything at the moment. I need to find something I can take an interest in... some kind of goal, something to fill my days with excitement and spontaneity... but for now, I'm off to do the whole "Easter" thing. 
 
Image of the Day

Easter Joke of the Day

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like everyone else. 
 
April 21, 2003 - pikachu's boner
Ah yes, the annual celebration the day after Easter... unfortunately, I'm not sure how much of a celebrating mood I'm in. My emotional life is like a rollercoaster ride yet again. At the moment, I'm in the whole "Must find girl to love" psycho-robot mode, where a certain ex-relationship of mine seems to be haunting and taunting me. Amen for the day I go to college and leave my past behind forever. (sarcasm)
 
Image of the Day

Lyric of the Day - "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips

"No one can change your life except for you."
 
April 22, 2003 - go shorty, it's your earth day
I thought I'd take a break from my dreary drivel and liven things up a bit with a little Earth Day motif. I'll probably just leave that logo up the rest of the week. Not much is really going on in my life, today I was a lot less shaky than I was yesterday. I'm coming to terms with my mild insanity/stress disorder. I went to work for 5 hours and then had some tires put on my Pimp-Mobile. Now, if I could only find some girls to pimp in it...
 
Image of the Day

This is a likely image of the planet that will be celebrated on Earth Day 250,002,003... Just like there was a single landmass Pangea about 250 million years ago, in about 250 million years, what scientists dub "Pangea Ultima" will exist here on Earth. Perhaps there will be no more planet then, who knows... and if the Earth still does exist, and say it exists for another 250 million years after that, will the plates shift so much that we have a world that resembles our current one?

Earth Fact of the Day

Approximately four tons of sunlight falls on the Earth every day, hence the word "photons". 
 
April 23, 2003 - pulling it together
Things are picking back up for me, I think. I'm finally starting to actually deal with the reality of my break up with Betsy... It was exactly four months ago today that we broke up (coincidentally, it's also the four month anniversary of her and her new boyfriend..) Can you sense that I still harbor some resentment? But yeah, I don't think I've been normal all year as far as being "myself" goes... Like, I spent from August to December in a so-so relationship with a girl I really liked, but I lost touch with my friends (and myself)... Then I spend a few months pretending to be alright with it. I entered another relationship, and because I wasn't really ready for it, I couldn't handle it, though there were no specific problems in it. And I say "wasn't ready" as if I was engaged to Betsy or something. But I poured so much of myself into that relationship and into her, and I just felt like it didn't matter... like I didn't matter. But now, I'm slowly but surely recovering and putting back the pieces of myself that came off when I fell apart. But hell, facing it is the first step, and that's what I'm doing. I've told things to certain other people about how I feel, but I don't know if I've actually told those things to myself, if that makes ANY sense. I think I'm gonna spend the evening alone tonight... I have some catching up to do.
 
Image of the Day

A clever photo idea... Photography has always intrigued me I guess. Photos like this are magnificent expressions of distorted reality. 

Lyric of the Day - "Stay" by Lisa Loeb

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love, and the other's run away,
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
Some of us hover when we weep for the other 
Who was dying since the day they were born.
Well, this is not that I think that I'm throwing, 
But I'm thrown.
 
April 24, 2003 - accelerate your life, obliterate your goals
Just heard Brian's voicemail message, and boy did I get a kick out of it! Anyways, no big news today... Last night I stayed in as planned, watched a few movies, and went to bed early. A Navy Recruiter called me yesterday, and if he decides to call me back, I'll just tell him I talked it over with my boyfriend and decided that the military isn't for me, with my one leg and all. Seriously though, it's amazing how much he tried to convince me to not follow my dreams and go to Case... he told me of the money I'd make, the 1.5 year education, the retirement in 20 years.. as if that would change my mind. However, just listening to him made me wonder about other people, if they would actually change their plans for money, quick education, or early retirement. Personally, if I go to a good college and put forth the effor required, I can get a job I really want, one that I won't want to retire from.
 
Image of the Day

Lyric of the Day - Marshall Ganz

"Young people have an almost biological destiny to be hopeful."
 
April 25, 2003 - arbor day
Well, it's the last official day of Spring Break for me here... imagine, I come back with only 20 days of school left--ah, the glorious hope inspired by that simple fact. Soon enough I will be leaving my world of high school, voyaging of into a brand new experience, a blatant opportunity to "start over"-- to be different, to leave an impression through the vast amount of connections I hope to make in the fall. My freshman year of high school was consumed by insecurity and introversion, and I don't plan on letting that happen again with my next freshman year, and all the freshman years to come for that matter. Anyways, I'm done mulling over that for now... I'm going to see Second City tonight so that should aid in the invigoration, vivification, and galvinization of my spirits that began two nights ago.
 
Image of the Day

Prison Letter Excerpt of the Day - Written April 17, 2003
My sister has always had a beautiful way with words... to me this letter sounds like it should be in a novel or something. But yeah, I thought I'd share it with anyone who's interested. Let me know if you want to know more about Marie's "adventure".
 

Walking to an orientation session or "chow", I'll pass other women. We'll often smile and greet each other. Like the compound's pristine exteriors, our smiles are facades to an underworld of emotions of pain, longing, regret, shame, loneliness, resign, bitterness. But we have a choice as we pass - to acknowledge each other or to look away.  We speak through the smile; making eye contact so as to recognize our humanity and lift each other up. In that smile is an unspoken "its alright. you're alright. We'll be alright"  I am walking among the disappeared, disenfranchised, the disposable of this country - 2.1 million and growing.
 
April 26, 2003 - feeling refreshed
Yesterday was pretty good... Went and saw Second City, who were absolutely hilarious. And then I went over to Chris's house. Jason showed up there and believe me, I was NOT happy. But as the minutes passed, I slowly but surely started shedding that anger, hurt, whatever it was... And I just realized that I had to let go. So I did. And with the letting go of that momentary impulse to be upset, I let go of the idealistic vision I had of that relationshp... and with the letting go of that vision, I let go of the pain it caused me... and with the letting go of that pain, I let go of all that has burdened me down in recent weeks. I left last night with my jacket feeling a little less cumbersome and with my eyes looking down from the clouds for a change, straight on at the world I live in NOW. And my god was it magnificent.
 
Image of the Day

Quote of the Day - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Finish each day and be done with it.  You have done what you could.  Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can.  Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense."