ah here he is, cowsome loneboy
"cowsome loneboy" is a play on Elvis Presley's title of the song "Lonesome
Cowboy," where he says "In my dreams the lights shine bright and pretty/
Near to me and yet so far/ Will I always be a lonesome cowboy?/ Am I only
reaching for a star?" From the start, an indirect reference to light is
made. The cowsome loneboy isn't only reaching for a star; he already has
that star.
with a hat on his head and a step in his joy
The hat part just goes along with the cowboy
thing... but "a step in his joy" is "a joy in his step" flipped around
(obviously)... but it means quite the opposite. The joy he has is the happiness
he has by nature; it is a joy that comes from being his true self. However,
his joy is stepped on; it has been overlooked and disregarded.
he's been here for a million years
The cowsome loneboy has gone through no change...
He has been in this state of stepped-on joy for longer than he can remember.
along with his courage and all his fears
The only thing he is sure of is his current lifestyle.
It is an unfulfilled lifestyle, but it is a certainty, and he can take
courage in that. However, as he hasn't changed in a million years, he hasn't
faced his problems or his fears, so they remain along with his courage.
and joining him each and every day
For the past million years, so for as long as
he can remember, the model (his other half) has been with him. Since she
is always there, she keeps him the same and doesn't let him change. Or
in other words, since this other character is a part of him, he can't let
it go.
a beautiful model from the Frisco Bay
The 'beautiful model' is the part of the loneboy
that represents this version of himself that is 'beautiful'... it is what
he thought would make him look the best. And once again, a reference to
a song appears with the words "Frisco Bay". In Otis Redding's "Sitting
on the Dock of the Bay," he tells how he left his home and headed
for the Frisco Bay, where he sits alone. And at the Frisco Bay, it "looks
like nothing's gonna change; Everything still remains the same." This reaffirms
the fact that the "beautiful model" is what's keeping him from changing.
it's a perfect love, they're cold and brash
Sarcasm of course with the perfect love. However,
when it says "they're cold and brash," it isn't referring to how they act
toward each other. Since they together are one person, the one person is
who acts cold and brash... and he acts cold and brash to the world. He
blocks out most things.
he tells her lies, she takes his cash
Once again, although the poem refers to actions
performed on each other, this line refers to the actions performed by the
one connected person. He lies to the world and acts like something he's
not. And she (the stagnant part of him) takes away what he used to value
in life: people. (Yes, the "cash" represents people.)
but they soon find out the love isn't true
"isn't true" hints at the previous line with
"lies"... This unified person has always been thought by the loneboy as
one person. He and the model are one and will always be one. But this is
not true.
when the beautiful model finds someone new
This line is one of the least symbolic; it's
simply saying that the negative part of him is dying, but the 'finds someone
knew' keeps the story going so that more symbolism can follow.
she comes around just one last day
"just one last day" connects right away with
"each and every day"... That line meant that he never changed; This line
means that a change is coming.
so that he knows she's going away
The loneboy knows that this change is coming...
He feels it inside (as the negative part let him know it was fading away).
he says "hello", she says "goodbye"
This simplicity is to be noted here; The change
is really a simple one; it's one that could have been realized about a
million years ago. Yet it wasn't realized... until now, that is.
he loses his joy and begins to cry
Little does he know, he's not "losing his joy"...
he's gaining it back. This connects with the "step in his joy" line from
above. However, as he's going through this change, he's going through a
breakdown. Granted, he doesn't know that he's a better person now, but
he isn't crying because he's changed, and he knows he's changed. He's crying
because he's beginning to realize his whole life (the million years) was
a lie.
for even though he didn't do her right
In actuality, this line does not mean what it
seems; it's like previous sentences where phrases were switched around.
This means that he wasn't right for her. He was never supposed to become
this new combined person, so-to-speak.
he never expected it'd end that night
Although this was a simple change, he wasn't
ready for it. He thought his world was right before; but it definitely
was not, and he's realizing that.
he begins to think about she and he
He begins to think about the way he was...He's
looking back with sadness, but not because he misses her. He does not miss
the way he was; he regrets it.
and all that it was meant to be
All that he was meant to be and never
was.
all that all his love had cost
All the friends he lost and people he hurt just
because he was trying to be someone he was not.
all that once was now is lost
He believes that he'll never be able to make
up for what he's done. He thinks that because of the way he's been for
so long, he'll never be happy with himself again, and no one will ever
be happy with him either.
and as he sits thinking her name
As he sits thinking about how things were and
the wrong he's done.
a new girl comes, the somelone cowdame
A connection should immediately be seen between
'cowsome loneboy' and 'somelone cowdame'... Why? Because they're one in
the same. She is a mirror of him; He is the depressed version of her.
he looks up at her and she says "hello"
Once again, a less symbolic line... This just
acknowledges that he acknowledges her and she's trying to reach out to
him.
but then he says "you have to go"
He does not want to take pride in himself; he
feels bad for all he's done. He thinks she's going to try to change him
(he sees that he has to change), but he does not want to change. He is
afraid to.
she says "you sulk like you have a curse,
She tells him that he's depressed because of
the past, a past he can't take back. He's acting as though this change
made him realize so much and he hates the change. He was happier when he
didn't know what he had been. She is telling him it's a good thing.
you treated her bad, she treated you worse.
Just re-affirming the "for even though he didn't
do her right" line... He was not meant to be that way, and it was bad for
his positive side that this negativity had been there.
the love you feel isn't love indeed
She's telling him he wasn't happier in ignorance.
Basically, she's saying that the 'courage' he felt before wasn't real courage...
it was just comfort in certainty.
the love you feel is a lust for greed"
Greed is the equivalent to wanting power. In
this tale, power is given by the acceptance of others. Any happiness he
had with himself previously strictly came from his desire to be accepted.
As he focused more on wanting to be accepted, he saw less of what he was
actually doing, and it was a bad thing. It was killing him (the good part
of him)... Hence the word choice of "lust" and "greed", two of the seven
deadly
sins.
but the cowsome loneboy doesn't reply
He doesn't want to accept the fact that he was
wrong for so long. He doesn't want to believe her.
all he does is look up at the sky
He's reflecting on the past and thinking about
his life.
"listen to me, this isn't the end
"Everything's always okay in the end; if it's
not okay, then it's not the end."
you can move on, i'll be your friend"
Since she is him, what is being said is this:
he can continue through life and be happy, all he needs is faith in himself.
and she tells him all he'd need to know
Once again, since she is him, this line is saying
that he already knows it all in his heart.
but he tells her "you have to go"
While he may know it in his heart, he still doesn't
want to face it. He's afraid to change; he's been one way for so long and
he doesn't know anything else. He's not ready to face this fear, for he
hasn't faced any fears at all.
and so she leaves, and so he cries
"She" is the thought of his that he can make
it. And that thought goes away, and he is depressed still.
but he thinks of the glimmer in the cowdame's
eyes
But the thought is not forgotten, and in this
remembrance, he sees the true validity of the thought. "Glimmer" once again
refers to a light. The light that in Elvis's dreams shone bright and pretty.
And now the loneboy is seeing his dreams bright and pretty as well.
and then he thinks "i'll start anew"
He loses his regret and realizes that he
can give himself a second chance.
and the loneboy's eyes turn fair and true
The connection between him and the cowdame is
solidified with the mention of his eyes, just as hers were mentioned two
lines earlier. His eyes turn "true"... making a reference to the earlier
line about the love being not true. This is right for him, he was meant
to be positive.
he starts to glow, and wouldn't you know
Once again, a light reference... he glows just
as her eyes did, just as his dreams do.
that he decides it's time to go
He makes a decision, the first in a million years.
He's ready for a change.
and the cowsome loneboy walks away
Just like it says... he moves toward somewhere
else, a land of uncertainty.
with one last "yippee-yo-kiyay"
An expression of joy... Now his world is flipped
over, and there is a joy in his step, not a step in his joy.
and drops the ground onto his hat
This phrase drives it home by saying two things:
First, that his life is completely flipped around, and the hat doesn't
get dropped to the ground. Second, that he now has control of his world
and his life... he can drop the ground if he wants. He has the power because
he has faith in himself.
he doesn't look back and that is that
... and that is that.