Everyone is standing outside the minivan that will take us to the campsite. I have a clipboard in hand.

Julie: Ok everyone.. I'm going to go down my checklist one more time, ready?

Lance: Shoot.

Julie: Tents?

JC: Check.

Julie: Sleeping bags?

Chris: Check.

Julie: Whips?

Justin: Check.. why am I carrying these again?

Julie: I'll need them later *wink* Anyway.. food?

Joey: CHECK!!!

Julie: Ok, no.. Joey, give me the food.

Joey: No.

Julie: GIVE ME THE FOOD!!!

Joey: I'm carrying it!

Julie: No, no you are not. Lance, take the food from him.

Lance starts chasing Joey around the van, grabbing at the backpack full of food. He finally gets it and hands it to me. Joey cries.

Julie: Thanks.. ok, I brought 2 tents.. One for Lance, JC, Joey, and Chris.. the other for Justin and I.. hehe.

JC: Julie?

Julie: WHAT?!

JC: Justin has a girlfriend.

Julie: UGH! SOOOOOO! SHE'S NOT HERE!

Britney pops out of Justin's backpack.

Britney: OH LORDY!!

Julie: FUCK!!!

Justin: I brought her along.

Julie: Eat my ass. You SUCK.

Britney: OMG! Like.. Julie and I can share one tent, and the boys get the othet tent! LORDY!!

Julie: No, I'm sharing a tent with JC.

JC: WHAT?!?!?

Julie: I'M SHARING A TENT WITH YOU, ASS! LIVE WITH IT! EVERYONE IN THE VAN!

Everyone climbs in and I get into the driver's seat. Justin and Britney make out the whole ride there.

Julie: Would you two freakin' stop it?! I'm seriously reconsidering my favorite NSYNCer right now!

Justin: Sorry.

Britney: Like, yeah! Sorry!

Julie: IDIOTS!!! Everyone out.

We all get out of the van and start our trek through the woods. 5 min. into the hike, Everyone starts complaining.

Joey: My feet hurt.

Julie: Eat shit.

JC: A mosquito bit me.

Julie: Eat shit.

Chris: I'm cold.

Julie: Eat shit.

Britney: My hair is frizzy!

Julie: Die.

Justin: I'm gettin' mah sneaker's all dirty.

Julie: Good.

Lance: My package is busting out.

Julie: TOO MUCH FUCKIN' INFO! SHUT UP!! Look, we're here. Everyone sent up tents.

Chris and JC set up the tents while Britney and Justin gather sticks for a fire. 20 min. later, they have still not returned.

Julie: Where the fuck is Barbie and Ken?!

Chris: I dunno.

Julie: Go find them.

Chris: YOU go find them!

Julie: UGH! DIE!

I stomp off into the woods in search of Britney and Justin. I hear moaning coming from behind a tree.

Julie: WTF are you two doing and-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I race back to the campsite screaming and flailing my arms about.

JC: WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?

Julie: THEY WERE NAKED!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!

JC slaps me.

JC: CALM DOWN!!!

Julie: FUCKER!!!!!

I take off my shoe and start beating JC in the head.

Lance: Aww look, it's a lover's quarrel!

JC and I look up.

JC and Julie: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!

Julie: Ok, thats it.. we're going to bed. Lance, go get Justin and Britney and make sure they're FULLY CLOTHED. Chris, get in your tent. JC get in the other one and Joey.. GET AWAY FROM THE FOOD BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE NEAR IT!!!!

Joey looks up from the backpack full of food.

Joey: Hehe.

Julie: GET IN THE TENT WITH CHRIS!!!

Joey: Yes ma'am.

Lance returns with Britney and Justin.

Julie: YOU GUYS ARE SICK!! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE!!! You two will sleep OUTSIDE and I'm going to pray extra hard that it RAINS tonight!! UNDERSTAND?!??

Britney and Justin: Yes..

Julie: I'm going to bed.. GOODNIGHT!!!!

I climb into my tent and into the sleeping bag. JC is staring at me.

Julie: WHAT?!?!?

JC: Nothing..

Julie: Good. Goodnight.

I open my eyes 5 min. later to see JC still staring.

Julie: WHAT?!?? DO I HAVE SOMETHING ON MY FACE?!??! WHY?!?! WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME?!?!?!?

JC: Why did you want to share a tent with me?

Julie: Well JC.. because..

I smille and move closer to him.

Julie: YOU'RE NOT FAT, YOU'RE NOT A PSYCHO, YOU'RE NOT A HOMO, YOU'RE NOT THE IGNORANT BASTARD, AND YOU'RE NOT BRITNEY!! GOOD ENOUGH?!?

JC smiles.

JC: What am I then?

Julie: A crackhead.

JC: *pouts* Oh..

Julie: Good freakin' NIGHT!!!

I fall asleep to the sounds of Chris singing "99 Bottles Of Beer In The Tent"

::Next Morning::

Julie: *snort* Food.. tired-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Everycome comes running to my tent.

Lance: WHAT?!?!?

Julie: JC'S NAKED!!!! WHY IS HE NAKED?!?!? DID I GET DRUNK LAST NIGHT??!? NO, NO I DIDN'T!!! WHY IS HE NAAAAAAKED?!?!?!??!?

JC wakes up.

JC: I was hot!

Julie: THIS CAMPING TRIP IS OVER!!!! Y'ALL CAN WALK HOME! PEACE!

I grab my stuff and run through the woods to the car, leaving the others behind.

Joey: Did she take the food?

Justin: Yeah.

Britney: LORDY!!!!

Joey: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!