Happy Mommy's Day!
By: Julie
Joey
Gift Given: Joey gave his mom half a box of chocolates (he got hungry and ate some) and some cheap tacky jewelry from the pawn shop.
Where He Took Her: To McDonalds where they could feast like Kings.
The Letter He Wrote Her:
Dear Mom,
Love,
Happy Mother's Day mom! I hope you liked the chocolates! Sorry the box was only half full! I got hungry on the way over there and I just COULDN'T wait! You know I'm still a growing boy mom.. Anyways.. Thanx for those cookies you baked for me, they were delicious! Could you make some more? Please? People keep calling me fat.. But I'm not fat! I'm just big-boned! Just like you tell me mom :) Your so smart! You know that coupon I gave you for a free meal at McDonalds? Well.. could I have the back? A free meal would really do me good! Thanx mom! Your the best! I have to go now.. I have some ho's waiting for me up in my hotel room..I mean, uhh.. I meant hoe's! yeah! as in the gardening tool! I promised JC I'd help him weed his garden when we got home! hehe.. silly me..I love you mom!
Your growing boy,
Joey
JC
Gift Given: JC gave his mother a piece of gum and some lint from his pocket. He had spent all his money on some crack so he couldn't afford anything else..
Where He Took Her: He took her to the bar and got her drunk of her ass so she would forgive him for being so cheap on Mother's Day.
The Letter He Wrote Her:
Dear Mother,
Yours Truly,
Yes, it is I.. Your lovely son Joshua. I hope you had a nice Mother's Day. I'm sorry about that guy, Bubba, that hit on you in the bar. I didn't know that was gonna happen. I tried to ignore it, but when he started to hump your leg, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. And if THAT wasn't enough mom.. he tried to steal my crack!! He was all sniffing my pockets and trying to get in them. OH MY GOD!! Did I just say crack?!?! I didn't mean that mom! I DIDN'T!! CRACK IS BAD!! Oh my God.. I'm going to hell!! I gotta jet now mom, and go to church and pray for a couple hours. I love you!
Joshua
Justin
Gift Given: Justin gave him mommy a picture of himself and a tacky necklace that had her initials on it, so they could be "twins"
Where He Took Her: He took her for a ride in his Benz and then down to "Bob's Bar and Grill" for a nice, homecooked meal.
Letter He Wrote Her:
Dear Momma Dukes,
Love Always,
Yo ma! What up?! Happy Mother's Day and all dat stuff.. Peep dis.. now that I gotchu that PHAT necklace.. we can be twins! Now we BOTH have tacky jewelry! YEAH BABY! JC was trying to tell me that it's not right to be giving mah ma some tacky jewelry.. but all he be giving his mom was some gum and some lint! And besides.. Joey got his mom tacky jewelry! And no one said anything to HIM! He always be up in mah kool-aid like dat.. shit.. Uh oh, I'M SORRY MOM! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THE "S" WORD! I SWEAR! I'S SORRY! PLEASE DON'T SPANK ME! I gots to bounce.. luv ya mommy! *kiss, kiss*
Your Li'l Justy
Lance
Gift Given: Some nail polish, and a coupon for a day at the "Lovely Ladies" Spa.
Where He Took Her: Lance and his mom went and got their nails done together.. and after that they did a little shopping at the local mall.
Letter He Wrote Her:
Dearest Mother,
Your Pretty Son,
Hello Mom. How are you doing on this lovely Mother's Day? I am doing quite good, thank you. I hope you liked the nail polish I picked out for you. I couldn't quite decide between Luscious Pink or Red Rose. But after lots of thought, I figured you'd like Red Rose better, since thats what I always wear. I hope I made the right desicion. I hate doing things wrong.. I JUST CAN'T STAND IT MOM! I MUST BE PERFECT! Oh dear.. I've upset myself. My eyeliner is rubbing off. I must run and fix it. Ta-ta for now mother.. I love you dearly. *kiss*
James
Chris
Gift Given: Chris gave his mom a "surprise box." When she opened it, fake snakes jumped out at her. Chris laughed hysterically. She was not amused.
Where He Took Her: He took her to a comedy club. Then he had the waiters there sing her a song entitled "Happy Mother's Day Chris' Mom." Once again.. she was not amused.
Letter He Wrote Her:
Hey Mom!
-Chris
Whats up?! Did you like that "special box" I gave you?! That was SOOO funny, huh?! HAHAHAHA! I'm still laughing! I am SO funny, I just can't help myself! I noticed you didn't look very enthusiastic when the waiters sang you that song. Whats wrong mom? It wasn't GOOD enough for you?! I can't do anything right, can I?!?!? I AM SICK AND TIRED OF TRYING TO PLEASE YOU! NOTHINGS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! HAPPY FREAKIN' MOTHER'S DAY!!