Sharon:
Contestant number one,
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were to come over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick

Joey:
Let's see, uh, well, I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, I LOVE YOU!!!
Hurry up beatch, I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy ass and tell her, Get the food ready!
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
It's dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13, she got some big tits!
After that, your dad will try to jump again
And only this time, I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'll proceed to tell her 'bout my Superman underwear

Announcer:
Now, let's meet contestant number two
He's a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
Who sings in a boy-band called *Nsync
He says women call him "Crack-Nuts"
Sharon, let's hear your question

Sharon:
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two, if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?

JC:
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!!
But if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
By taking this fat-ass piece of shit outta here
I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
I'd be blowing up at 'em all day
I'd make you buy my crack for me everyday
And if ya do I just might call you another day
I'd sing love songs to you, the best I can
Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say, I'm just playin'
As you spit it all out, I'd rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!!

Announcer:
Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon
It's a touch choice so far
Sharon, let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden

Sharon:
Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time.
Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would your pick up line be?
Well, whoever's the smoothest wins!

Joey:
Okay, first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how big your boobies are
I'd tell you that I like the way you make them shake
And if you lost a little weight, you'd look like Rikki Lake!

JC:
Fuck that, you'd be jocking me quick
Your just a stupid fat-ass that ain't worth SHIT!
To get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and pelvic thrust in your face!

Joey:
Yeah, a pelvic thrust, yo, that'll get her
Make her buy your crack, yeah, that'll work even better
Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap
Shit, you don't want contestant number two
He's mad-wack

I walk into a bar and there he was
Smokin' crack like an idiot, ahh fuck it
He looked like a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama

JC:
Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!