NSYNC Goes To School
By: Julie
We've decided to send NSYNC to school. Lord knows some of them need it. Their teacher is named Mrs. Jenkins. Here's how it went.
Mrs. Jenkins: Hello, class.
All: Hello Mrs. Jenkins! We're NSYNC!
Mrs. Jenkins: Thats nice.. now today we're going to learn--
Joey: You have killer legs, baby. Can I get your number?
Mrs. J: Umm, excuse me?
She looks at her seating chart.
Mrs. J: Joseph? Is that your name?
Joey: Yeah.. but you can call me Love Masta.
Mrs. J: I will NOT tolerate that kind of behavior in my class. Go sit in the corner.
Joey: But--
Mrs. J: NOW!
Joey pouts and walks to the corner.
Justin: Ha! She gotcho ass in CHECK!
Mrs. J: Unless you would like to join him, I'd be quiet.
Justin: Ah, yeah.. I feel you, yo..
Mrs. J: Great.. now.. we're going to start with some easy math. Joshua, can you tell me what 2+2 is?
JC: Can I use the bathroom?
Mrs. J: No, now answer my question.
JC: Please?!
Mrs. J: NO! And why are you rubbing your nose like that? You do know that I will not tolerate drugs in my classroom, right?
JC: DRUGS?! WHAT DRUGS?! WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DRUGS?! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN HEARING?!??
Mrs. J: Right..
A paper airplane flys across the room and hits Lance in the head.
Mrs. J: CHRISTOPHER!
Chris smiles innocently.
Chris: Yes?
Mrs. J: Did you throw that paper airplane?
Chris: ....no....
Mrs. J: Who did then?
Chris: Lance did it.
Mrs. J: It HIT Lance.. therefore, he could not have done it.
Chris: Uhh.. it was Joey.
Joey: Stop trying to get me in trouble!
Chris: Shut up! You're just the stupid kid who has to sit in the corner all day!
Mrs. J: THATS ENOUGH!
JC: Can I use the bathroom now?
Mrs. J: NO! Now, Lansten.. can you tell me what 3x3 is?
Lance: 9.
Mrs. J: Very good!
Lance: Yeah, I used to have a horse named Toby.. wanna hear about him?
Mrs. J: Ok, no.. there's a time and a place for that..
Lance: FUCK YOU, BITCH!!
Mrs: J: WHAT?! Young man.. go to the office, RIGHT NOW!!
Lance: FUCK OFF!
Mrs. J: I said NOW, LANSTEN!!
Lance: FINE! ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF YOUR STUPID CLASS!
Mrs. J: Have fun! Lou Pearlman is the principal! Ta-Ta now!
Lance: Aww shit..
Lance exits.
Mrs. J: Ok, now.. Joey, you may come out of the corner if you promise to behave yourself.
Joey: Alright!
Mrs. J: Ok.. Justin, what's the capital of Montana?
Justin: Ah, dat would be.. Justin.
Mrs. J: Umm, no, thats not right..
Justin: BITCH! EVERYTHING BE NAMED AFTER JUSTIN! YOU BOW DOWN TO JUSTIN!
Mrs. J: Office. Now.
Justin: Damnit..
Justin exits.
Mrs. J: God, what is WRONG with you people?!
Another paper airplane flys across the room and hits Mrs. J in the head.
Mrs. J: CHRISTOPHER!!!!
Chris: IT WASN'T ME!!
Mrs. J: Then how come you're smiling?
Chris: *shrugs* It was funny.
Mrs. J: Go to the office.
Chris: No, please.. not that.. not Lou Pearlman..
Mrs. J: NOW.
Chris exits, grumbling the whole way.
Mrs. J: So, JC.. Joey.. have you learned anything today?
Joey: You're one mean beotch.
Mrs. J smiles.
Mrs. J: Why don't you just march yourself straight to the office, Joey honey?
Joey: I was.. kidding! Yeah, kidding! I SWEAR!
Mrs. J: Thats great.. if I was a nice person, I'd let that one slide..
Joey: Yeah, nice people are cool.
Mrs. J: Too bad I'M NOT A NICE PERSON. Go to the office.
Joey: FUCK!
Joey exits.
JC raises his hand.
Mrs. J: WHAT?!
JC: Can I go to the bathroom?
Mrs. J: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
JC: Please?
Mrs. J: GO!
JC exits.
Mrs. J: Stupid egotistical popstars...
No one exactly knows what went on in Principal Lou's office.. but screaming and crying were heard, along with an occasional "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!" As for JC.. they found him on the bathroom floor, unconcious, with pictures of Richard Simmons strewn around him. No one questioned it because, quite frankly, no one wanted to know.