Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
Psalm 30
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
Bumper sticker
When in doubt, be vague.
Jenn Book
All that glitters is not gold.
Shakespere, The Merchant of Venice
Give me a lever long enough, and I shall move the world.
Archimedes
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
Unknown
Nobody's perfect, son. How 'bout a piece of pie?
Mr. Kent (on "Lois and Clark")
A friend is someone, who upon seeing another friend in immense pain, would rather be the one experiencing the pain than to have to watch their friend suffer.
Amanda Grier
The person who knows how will always have a job. The person who knows why will always be his boss.
Diane Ravitch
Genuine goodness is threatening to those at the opposite end of the moral spectrum.
Earl Charles Spencer
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
Mary Ellen Kelly
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a dark side, it has a light side, and it holds the Universe together.
Carl Zwanig
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.
Robert Fuoss
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
Unknown
A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and say your mother.
Unknown
Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait.
Ethan Allen, In response to an attending doctor who attempted to comfort him by saying, "General, I fear the angels are waiting for you"
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
John Barrymore, actor, d. 1942
I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Last words of Humphrey Bogart, actor, d. 1957
Et tu, Brute?
Last words of Julius Caesar
I'm bored with it all.
Last words of Winston Churchill
I've never felt better.
Last words of Douglas Fairbanks, Sr.
I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
Last words of Errol Flynn
All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!
Last words of Henry VIII <
I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.
Last words of Thomas Hobbes
Let us cross over the river and sit in the shade of the trees.
Last words of General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson who was killed in error by his own troops at the battle of Chancellorsville during the U.S. Civil War
Is it the Fourth?
Last words of Thomas Jefferson, died on July 3, 1826
Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.
Last words ofJesus Christ
Why do you weep? Did you think I was immortal?
Last words of Louis XIV
Let's cool it brothers . . .
Last words of Malcolm X, Black leader, spoken to his assassins
I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
Last words of Eugene O'Neill
I have a terrific headache.
Last words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who died of a cerebral hemorrhage
Put out the light.
Last words of Theodore Roosevelt
Moose . . . Indian . . .
Last words of Henry David Thoreau
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Last words of Pancho Villa
Go away. I'm all right.
Last words of H. G. Wells
These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.
Charles Barkley
Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while.
Charles Barkley, after elbowing an Angolan basketball player at the Olympic Games
I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five.
Charles Barkley
I do not like this word bomb. It is not a bomb; it is a device which is exploding.
Jacques Le Blanc
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
Barbara Bush
That's what's cool about working with computers. They don't argue, they remember everything and they don't drink all your beer.
Paul Leary
People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
David Letterman
For the love of God folks, don't do this at home.
David Letterman , CBS Late Show, demonstrating the Donut-o-pult
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
David Letterman , after doing a less-than-wonderful job of hosting the Academy Awards
Look, I do hair for a living. If you want to find out what the American people are thinking about, do you sit in an attorney's office or in a barbershop?
Monte Moreno
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
Jerome K. Jerome
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!
Emiliano Zapata
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.
William G. McAdoo
It is the greatest of all advantages to enjoy no advantage at all.
Henry David Thoreau
It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.
Errol Flynn
It takes less time to do a thing right than explain why you did it wrong.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It's good to know that if I behave strangely enough, society will take full responsibility for me.
Ashleigh Brilliant
It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
Tallulah Bankhead
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
Helen Keller
Knowledge is true opinion.
Plato
Legend: a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H. L. Mencken
Lets cut off our noses.
Shirley Brooks
No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.
Henry B. Adams
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.
Ron Nesen
Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
Tallulah Bankhead
Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
Kin Hubbard
Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone.
Jorge Luis Borges
Nothing succeeds like -- failure.
Anonymous
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Hannah More
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary....
Edgar Allan Poe
One could not be a successful scientist without realizing that, in contrast to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid.
James Watson
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
Will Durant
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
Gary Wills
Only those who attempt the absurd...will achieve the impossible. I think...I think it's in my basement...Let me go upstairs and check.
Escher
Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance
King George V
Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's following you.
Henry Gilmer
Enjoy what you can, endure what you must.
Goethe
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
Sidney Goff
Never mind whom you praise, but be very careful who you blame.
Edmund Gosse
Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
Daniel Greenberg
Don't tell your friends about your indegestion. "How are you." is a greeting, not a question.
Arthur Guiterman
Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.
Sidney J. Harris
Don't ever slam the door; you might want to go back.
Don Herold
Never get married in the morning, 'cause you may never know who you'll meet that night.
Paul Hornung
When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
E. W. Howe
When a man tells you what people are saying about you, tell him what people are saying about him; that will immediately take his mind off your troubles.
E. W. Howe
If you want work well done, select a busy man -- the other kind has no time
Elbert Hubbard
When confronted with a Goliath-sized problem, which way do you respond: "He's too big to hit" or, like David, "He's too big to miss"?
God's Little Instruction Book
The grass may look greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed.
God's Little Instruction Book
Patience is a quality you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.
God's Little Instruction Book
Too many churchgoers are singing "Standing on the Promises" when all they are doing is sitting on the premises.
God's Little Instruction Book
Most men forget God all day and ask Him to remember them at night.
God's Little Instruction Book
Time is more valuble than money because time is irreplaceable.
God's Little Instruction Book
The trouble with the guy who talks too fast is that he often says something he hasn't thought of yet.
God's Little Instruction Book
The best way to get the last word is to apologize.
God's Little Instruction Book
The secret of success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.
God's Little Instruction Book
The doors of opportunity are marked "Push" and "Pull."
God's Little Instruction Book
You cannot win if you do not begin
God's Little Instruction Book
Luck: a loser's excuse for a winner's position
God's Little Instruction Book
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Sir Winston Churchill
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. e e cummings
Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
Pablo Picasso
I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
John F. Kennedy when asked what his favorite song was
I'll sleep when I'm dead.
Warren Zevon
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Gore Vidal
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
Sir Winston Churchill
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein
Slow and steady wins the race.
Robert Lloyd (The Hare and the Tortoise)
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
William Shakespeare (Macbeth)
Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say "Why not?"
Robert F. Kennedy
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
Gordon R. Dickson
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sigmund Freud
Sometimes it's useful to know how large your zero is.
Anonymous
Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
Sophia Loren
Such laboured nothings in so strange a style,
Amaze th' unlearn'd, and make the learned smile.
Alexander Pope
Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board, on chlordane
Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?
Anonymous
The confidence of ignorance will always overcome indecision of knowledge.
Anonymous
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
R. Buckminster Fuller
The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.
Arnold H. Glasow
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them -which- we are missing.
Gamel Abdel Nasser
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but "That's funny...".
Isaac Asimov
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
Anonymous
The pain passes, but the beauty remains.
Pierre Auguste Renoir
The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday---but never jam today.
Lewis Carroll
The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Eden Phillpotts
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Anonymous
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.
Heisenberg
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
Winston Churchill
There might be some credit in being jolly.
Charles Dickens
Think, or be damned.
Bryan Penton
Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
Alex Hamilton
Thus shall you go to the stars.
Virgil
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
Frank Lloyd Wright
To be great is to be misunderstood.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
Ashleigh Brilliant
To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say.
Lionel Tiger
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
Anonymous
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
William Shakespeare (Henry IV Part I)
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will Rogers
We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
Epictetus
We only part to meet again.
John Gay
We really don't have enemies-It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us.
Anonymous
What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
Aristotle
What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.
Anonymous
What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
Gertrude Stein's last words
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
Anonymous
What you don't know would make a great book.
Sydney Smith
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet.
William Shakespeare (Romeo and Juliet)
When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before.
Mae West
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.
Alexander Graham Bell
When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde
When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.
Anonymous
When the Black Camel comes for me, I'm not going to go kicking and screaming -- I am, however, going to try to talk my way out of it. "No, no, you want the other Walter Slovotsky."
Joel Rosenberg (The Warrior Lives)
When we are young
Wandering the face of the Earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only immortal;
For a limited time
(Dreamline) - Rush
When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.
Wilson Mizner
Yeah, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest son of a bitch in the valley.
Joel Rosenberg (The Silver Crown)
You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER
Frank Zappa
It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?
Graffiti
To be is to do (I. Kant)
To do is to be (A. Sartre)
Do-be-do-be-do (F. Sinatra)
Yabba-Dabba-Doo! (F. Flinstone)
If You Only Knew The Power Of The Darkside...
(breathe...... kooooff....... pschhhh......)
Darth Vader
The great film comedian, Charlie Chaplain, once entered a Charlie Chaplain look-a-like contest for a laugh. To his surprise he did not win.
God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole.
Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark; "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Mr. Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
Just last year, (on 5 July 1995 in Tampa Bay, FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hits a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. And Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
- Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!
- Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober.
Lady Astor and Winston Churchill
Sometimes I just wish it were greener on my side.
Chris Loncar
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
Paul Valery
It is well to remember that the entire universe,with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
John Andrew Holmes
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot;others transform a yellow spot into the sun.
Pablo Picasso
I've told you for the fifty-thousandth time, stop exaggerating.
It is not the same to talk of bulls as to be in the Bullring.
Spanish Proverb
Computers are useless.They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso
Today's jargon file addition: "Salmon Day"... The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end.
Engineering: "How will this work?"
Science: "Why will this work?"
Management: "When will this work?"
Liberal Arts: "Do you want fries with that?"
Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side, a dark side,and it holds the universe together.
Let it be.
Lennon
LIFE: NOBODY GETS OUT ALIVE
J. Q. Pelegano
Some of the world's greatest feats were
accomplished by people not smart enough
to know they were impossible.
Doug Larson
Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
If God had meant for us to be naked,
we'd have been born that way.
Mark Twain
This statement is false.
My house says to me, "do not leave me,
for here dwells your past."
And the road says to me, "Come and follow me,
for I am your future."
And I say to both my house and the road,
"I have no past, nor have I a future.
If I stay here, there is a going in my staying;
and if I go there is a staying in my going.
Only love and death change all things."
Kahlil Gibran
You have to walk up each step to get to the top of the staircase.
They both laughed, drinking daiquiries.
It is easy to laugh at the idea of torture on a sunny day.
As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men's minds more seriously than what they see.
Julius Caesar
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
Helen Keller
Take a quiet walk, now and again, with the real you, who lives beneath all the everyday distractions. Find strength, courage and insight in the beautiful person you are.
Science is always wrong. It never solves a problem without creating ten more.
G.B.Shaw
Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.
Alphonse de Lamartine
The madman who knows that he is mad is close to sanity.
Ruiz de Alarcon
To stop drinking...study a drunkard while you are sober.
Chinese Proverb
God heals, and the doctor takes the fee.
Franklin
All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.
Edgar Allan Poe
I dreamed a thousand new paths...I woke and walked my old one.
Chinese Proverb
We weep when we are born, not when we die!
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Two barrels of tears do not heal a bruise.
Chinese Proverb
The only goal you can't accomplish is the one that you don't go after.
Just because you can't do everything doesn't mean you shouldn't do something.
When your values are clear, your decision-making is easy.
Walt Disney
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
Creativity --It's like driving a car at night. You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.
E. L. Doctorow
When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by bees.
Kenneth Kaunda
When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
Anonymous
Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.
Aesop
It's not whether you get knocked down. It's whether you get up again.
Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open.
Rose Lane
Many of us spend our lives searching for success when it is usually so close that we can reach out and touch it.
Russell H. conwell
If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.
Nelson Mandela
Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than you do.
Raymond Mortimer
My motto: no limits.
Isadora Duncan
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
Experience - a comb life gives you after you loose your hair.
Judith Stern
If its good, they'll stop making it.
Herbert Block
The real character of a man is found out by his amusements.
Some do, some don't. Some will, some won't. I might.
You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war.
God may give you seeds but he won't plant them for you.
I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.
Abraham Lincoln
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