As closely as I can figure, Ricky turns people into teenybopping zombies and Carson is to watch over their growth and development. What happens when they are fully formed is not completely understood. Either they will rise up and take over the world, or they will cause a wave of Ricky Martin nostalgia in 20 years or so. Whichever it is, it won't be pretty.
At this point, some of you are probably wondering,"What's her problem with the Welch's girl?" The next time you see a Welch's commercial, take a good look at that girl's eyes. She has the most evil look about her. If I were a raving fundamentalist, I'd probably say she was possessed by the devil. Since I'm not, my guess is that she is part of a vast interplanetary conspiracy. You may think she is merely a pawn in this, but that's a front. In reality, she's running the show. She is the one who first scoped out Earth for Ricky and Carson. I remeber seeing her in commercials back when I was in high school, long before the days of TRL and "Livin' La Vida Loca." Back then, she was still surveying Earth to see if it had colonization potential. Since Earthlings tend to be gullible and dumb (especially the ones with money), she decided that Earth was ripe for conquest. So she and her two most trusted henchmen, Mogwarp and Fizzgut, aka Ricky Martin and Carson Daly headed to earth to deprive humans of their money and good music.
People of Earth, I urge you to unite against this heinous force! Act now before it is too late! Burn your Ricky Martin CDs and boycott TRL! And then take the Welch's girl out and dye her hair bright blue. That should set her straight.