Why Ricky Sucks

Ricky Martin is the spawn of Satan. Well, maybe not, but his music still sucks. "Livin' La Vida Loca" was awful. For one thing, the radio stations never stopped playing it, and for another thing, THE DAMN SONG GETS STUCK IN YOUR HEAD!!! The Grammy voters got one right when they didn't give Record of the Year to this one (however, I wasn't too crazy about that Santana song, either; it should have been Cher).

Many of you will remember that once upon a time, Ricky was in a boy band (Menudo). That might have been forgiveable, if Ricky had just dropped off the face of the earth like a good little former teen idol. But no, he had to make a triumphant return to the pop scene last summer. *shudder*

I am convinced that Ricky's music is part of an alien plot. They are trying to brainwash us all so that we will spend our days shaking our bon-bons. We will be so busy living la vida loca that the aliens will take the planet, along with all we've ever had. However, Ricky's loss at the Grammys - 3 nominations, no wins - tells me that people are starting to see through his evil schemes. Perhaps there's hope for our society after all.

The sad thing about Ricky is that a lot of people listen to his music solely because he's attractive. HELLO??? Since when are looks important in RADIO!! I think Trent Reznor is the ugliest man alive, but his music is a thousand times better than Ricky's. To paraphrase Judge Judy, beauty fades, but shitty music is forever.


Ricky on a bad hair day.

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