(Eve and Dawson watching 'Felicity' in Dawson's bedroom)
Dawson: This isn't exactly working out the way I'd planned. Um, the whole point of us spending all this time together was to actually talk, to get to know each other.
Eve: And then can we have sex?
Dawson: I'm not ruling that out, it's just, you know First thing's first-movie night, we're supposed to watch movies.
Eve: I prefer TV.
Dawson: You've got to be kidding?
Eve: Actually, no.
Dawson: Movies are an art form. This is just a pablum used between beer commercials.
Eve: Don't be such a snob, Dawson. I mean, a TV show is just like a movie, except shorter, with built-in bathroom breaks, and you get a new sequel every week.
Dawson: Sequels I hate on principle.
Eve: Suit yourself. I'm hooked.
(on the TV)
Ben: When you read my paper, how bad was it?
Felicity: It wasn't bad.
(back off)
Dawson: All right, you know what? Take Felicity, for example. I mean, if you've seen one hour of whiny, over-analytical teen angst, you've seen them all. Don't get me wrong, she's pretty, but what kind of a heroine is she? She's indecisive. She's basically paralysed by some romantic notion of the way things are supposed to be. If you ask me, she's kind of chatty.
Eve: She's you.
Dawson: Excuse me?
Eve: She's you, Dawson. Except she's in college, and a girl
Dawson: and a fictional character on television.
Eve: Exactly. Think about it. You're straight out of central casting. Perfect hair, perfect skin, you're a
hero.
Dawson: Well, you obviously weren't watching last season, it was far from perfect. You know, which is in general my complaint about television. It's not reality. It's perfection. I mean, nobody ever blows it, or gets tested in any real way, or ever makes a wrong choice or a bad choice or a-
(Eve turns off the television and moves on top of Dawson)
Eve: Don't you know that's where I come in? You know, second season, shake things up. Screw with the status.
Dawson: Ah, a temptress who will test our hero's very moral fibre.
Eve: Will he survive unscathed? Stay tuned.
Dawson: You know what else I hate about television? They always cut to commercials at the best part.
(Opening credits)
* * * * *
(Alarm going off at Joey's house. Joey gets up, already dressed, quickly puts on some shoes and we cut to a shot of her running through the halls at school. She goes up to a door that says 'PSATS in Progress. QUIET!' and sees Dawson inside. She starts banging on the door, yelling his name. He doesn't hear her. Cut to Joey's real alarm going off, it was just a dream. Cut to Andie's room. Andie is doing sit-ups in her Harvard sweatshirt with her PSAT notecards, studying)
Newscaster: Good Morning. It's 6:45 and it's 65 degrees and sunny
Andie: Another glorious day on the Cape
Newscaster: Coming up next as millions of kids around the country cram for this weekends' exam, we'll talk to John (someone), author of the best-selling 'Cracking the PSAT'
Andie: (holding up book) Ah, one step ahead of you, baby.
Newscaster: is supposed to be the most competitive year ever
Andie: Competitive? Ha! Try this on for size. Dogmatic. Synonyms: single-minded, stubborn, obdurate, adamant. Antonyms would be
(Cut to Jack and Jen walking out of Jen's house)
Jen: Wishy-washy, ambivalent, umm equivocal. What? You thought that Dawson was the only one with such a prolific vocabulary?
Jack: No, I just didn't think we really had to study with our new found extracurricular activities.
Jen: Easy, tiger. You haven't won that football scholarship yet. OK, your turn. Pick a card, any card.
(Jack picks one)
Jack: Nonchalant. OK. The synonyms would be
(As Jack does the voiceover, we get a shot of Pacey laying in his bed, asleep)
Jack: Carefree, languid, oblivious
* * * * *
(School classroom, studying for PSAT)
Principal: OK, good. Now, antonyms. Mr. Leery!
Dawson: Alert, attentive, concerned. That is provided you believe that the PSAT is a true measure of intelligence, and not a culturally biased weapon against the poor and disenfranchised.
Principal: That's a good point, Dawson. Standardised testing isn't perfect. In fact, some might say that
it's designed to trip you up, mess with your mind. Generally convince you that you're not as smart as you think you are, but if you want to go to college, it's the only game in town.
(The bell rings. Everybody gets up to leave)
Principal: Alright, hang on, hang on. Now look, don't forget. Tomorrow, sample maths section. OK, I need you to bring a number 2 pencil, and your brains. Both of them sharpened, thank you very much. Ah, Joey, will you hang on for a moment, please?
* * * * *
(Andie walking down the hallway, paying attention to the study cards)
Andie: Belligerent ah crypt-
(She runs smack into Pacey, causing her cards to scatter)
Andie: Ah, God is not listening to us. (They bend to pick them up and they bump heads)
Both: (holding their heads) Ugh!
Andie: Don't worry, Pacey. This isn't going to be one of those horribly awkward "hope-boy-didn't-mean-all-those-hurtful-things-he-said-during-the-breakup" moment.
Pacey: Well, that's a relief 'cause I sure don't want to play the "guy-feels-guilty-about-breakup-even-though-it-was-girl-who-had-an-affair-with-the-mental-patient" scene.
Andie: Fair enough.
Pacey: (picking up the study cards) Not that it's any of my business anymore, Andie, but have you ever heard of overpreparing for a test?
Andie: What? As opposed to not preparing at all?
Pacey: As opposed to making yourself crazy over something with the word 'practice' in front of it.
Andie: If you want to throw away everything we've-I mean you've-worked for, that's fine by me.
Pacey: (resignedly) Yeah.
Andie: Me, on the other hand, I am not going to let our little bump in the road throw me off my chosen course. See ya 'round!
* * * * *
(Joey and Principal Green talking in the library)
Principal: You keep your wits about you, Joey, and you got a legitimate shot at a National Merit Scholarship.
Joey: Yeah, so everyone keeps telling me and telling me and telling me.
Principal: Too much pressure on you, huh?
Joey: (sighing) I couldn't sleep again last night.
Principal: Trust me, I know, I've been there.
Joey: Well, I just keep thinking that if I don't ace this exam, I'm going to end up making beds and cleaning toilets at the 'dead end hotel' for the rest of my life.
Principal: Listen, here's what I want you to do, I want you to take the night off, just to relax. Hang out with a friend, rent a movie, you're gonna do just fine. You're gonna do better than fine. Now the faculty and I, have all the confidence in the world in you.
(Joey nods at Principal Green and smiles)
* * * * *
(Joey walking towards Dawson at his locker)
Joey: Dawson.
Dawson: Joey, hi.
Joey: Um, since we've agreed to "peace with honour", would it be against the rules of engagement
to ask for your help?
Dawson: Of course not.
Joey: Good, 'cause I could use some.
Dawson: What do you need?
Joey: I don't know, a night of mindless entertainment. Jurassic Park or maybe one of those meteorite/asteroid/atomic bomb movies where Bruce Willis or George Clooney or someone with a receding hairline somehow manages to save the entire planet without breaking a sweat. (sighing) I just need something to take my mind off the test.
Dawson: You've really got a lot riding on it, I know.
Joey: Just my entire future.
Dawson: Tell me when and where.
Joey: How about tonight?
Dawson: Tonight? Um
(Eve walks up)
Eve: Hey sports fans!
Joey: (grabbing Dawson's arm) How's 9 o'clock?
Dawson: It's just that tonight, she and I were thinking, um why don't you come with us?
Joey: Yeah, I might, on another planet, in a different universe. (looking at Eve) No offence. (she walks off)
Eve: What was that about?
* * * *
(Mitch with the football team out on the field.)
Mitch: I'd appreciate some contact, people! Come off the ground hard, tuff tuff! Put some hurt on! EXECUTE! You're up, McPhee!
(Jack puts on his helmet)
Henry: Alright, Jack, you can do this. Now just remember, when you're hit, button up, become foetal, but hug that ball. Hug that ball!
Jack: Hug that ball, hug that ball
(Mitch blows the whistle and Jack charges at the other football players. He only makes it through the first pair before being knocked down. Mitch runs up.)
Mitch: How to hit, baby, how to hit! Get up, McPhee, you're defacing the landscape. AGAIN!
Jack: Come on, Coach. Can't you see what's going on here? They're singling me out.
Mitch: Yeah, but not for the reasons you think.
Jack: Give me a break, it's obvious.
Mitch: Look, Jack. Let's get this straight. You are still the new kid on the block, and you are not (forcefully putting the ball into Jack's stomach) protecting the football the way you should. Now do it again. McPhee! Three-point stand!
(Mitch blows whistle and Jack makes it through three pairs of players before getting knocked down.)
Henry: Can you hear me, Jack? Jack, do you know where you are? How many fingers?
Jack: I think I'm gonna hurl.
* * * * *
(Joey at work)
Rob: I mean, this guy's not exactly what you call a ladies' man, but I tell him, it is easy. There's only one rule. Plain and simple. Give the ladies what they want.
Joey: How about giving me what I want, Rob?
Rob: I thought you'd never ask.
Joey: Friday night off, so I can study for the PSATs, they're Saturday.
Rob: Yeah, sure, why not? No sweat. I remember what it was like. Of course, I didn't take the PSATs.
Joey: What? Daddy built the university?
Rob: No, no, just endowed it. Actually, I hired a ringer. Seriously. Paid some brainiac a couple of
thousand to take it for me. Won me a scholarship, too.
Joey: Well, since, I don't have that kind of cash, thank you. I owe you one.
Rob: Well, here's a thought. You let me take you out for a post-PSAT celebration. Saturday night, you and me.
Joey: Oh, thanks, but, um, husband doesn't really like me seeing other people.
Rob: Oh, sure. I thought you were going to say you had to wash your hair.
Joey: No, that's Wednesdays. Actually, Rob, the truth is, I'm a lesbian.
Rob: Anyone I know? So is it a date? Saturday night, what do you say?
Joey: Look, would it be alright if I just said no?
Rob: Yeah, sure thing Potter. No problem. (he walks away)
* * * * *
(Dawson reading in his room. He looks out his window and then goes back to his book. He looks again and sees an apple)
Dawson: I was starting to worry about you.
Eve: I was searching for the perfect apple. Go ahead, take a bite. See if it tastes as good as it looks.
Dawson: And if I do?
Eve: You will forever know the difference between good and evil. Get out here, Dawson. It's a beautiful night.
Dawson: I haven't been out here since since Joey and I were still-
Eve: Joey? The ubiquitous brunette? The one who hasn't yet learned the power and sway she holds over the hearts of men?
Dawson: She lives down the creek. She used to sleep over all the time, before we developed secondary sexual characteristics.
Eve: I had a boy next door.
Dawson: You did?
Eve: Doesn't everybody?
Dawson: What was his name?
Eve: Monroe. We literally lived in adjoining houses on the base.
Dawson: You were a military brat?
Eve: I was Army, born and bred. Matter of fact, we could see into each other's bedrooms.
Dawson: Really? That must have been convenient.
Eve: No kidding. Only problem is he was my dad's commanding officer.
(Dawson's face falls)
Eve: I brought you something else.
Dawson: What's this?
Eve: Call it a study aid.
Dawson: That is not--
Eve: Oh, it is. An advanced copy of Saturday's PSAT.
Dawson: Why are you showing this to me?
Eve: Well, I was planning on giving it to you.
Dawson: There's no way I can do that.
Eve: Don't be so selfish, Dawson. I mean, if it goes against your moral code, fine, but surely there must
be somebody you know who could use it. The apple was a metaphor. This is the real thing.
(Dawson stares at the envelope)
* * * * *
(School classroom - all the gang are present, standing around a desk)
Pacey: An envelope? This is why you covertly hushed us into a corner?
Joey: Pacey, read the fine print. It says ETS, as in Educational Testing Service.
Jen: Dawson, this is not what I think it is?
Dawson: Think again.
Andie: Oh God.
Jack: How'd you get this?
Dawson: Does it matter?
Andie: Of course it matters. When we're all incriminated, and sent to federal prison, I'd like to know just who I'm taking the rap for.
Dawson: Somebody gave it to me.
Joey: A certain someone with blonde locks, and a name that rhymes with Steve?
Pacey: (with admiration) Oh, she's good. I like that girl, she's good.
Joey: Once again, Dawson Leery proves the groin is mightier than the brain.
Jen: Well, I mean, have you looked inside, it could be a joke, anybody can just whip up a label.
Pacey: (going to open it) There's one way to find out.
Andie: Just go ahead Pacey, wade to complete your return to the halls of academic loserdom.
Pacey: Maybe you'd like to open it up Andie? I mean, after all, cheating seems to be an activity that you're real comfortable with these days.
Jack: Look, nobody's opening anything. Dawson, just bring it back to where you got it, and none of us ever saw it.
Jen: Gee, not to sound like the only typical highschool student here, but really, as the only typical highschool student, what's the harm peeking?
Pacey: Peeking? I could have us a detailed cryp sheet in half-an-hour.
Dawson: Guys, look. Admittedly, my first reaction was to dump it, but you heard Principal Green, I mean, these things are a game. And as wrong as cheating sounds, I thought I'd bring it up to you guys for discussion.
Joey: OK, morals to Dawson, come in, Dawson. This is wrong. Besides, it's the PSAT, no-one's even required to take it, let alone do well.
Dawson: Unless you want to qualify for a National Merit Scholarship (he pushes the envelope in front of Joey).
Jen: (slides the envelope in front of Jack) Or if you've been too busy getting the crap beaten out of you to study.
Jack: (sliding it over to Andie) Or, if you *really* want to go to Harvard.
Andie: (sliding it over to Pacey) Or, if a failed relationship has put you through the emotional wringer, and you just don't care these days.
Pacey: Or if you've just been too darn busy getting busy (slides it back to Dawson).
Dawson: Point is, we could all use it for something.
Principal: Alright people, let's take our seats! (Dawson flips the envelope over to cover the label. The rest of the gang begin to take their seats) One sample math section coming your way.
(Fire alarm goes off)
Principal: On second thought all right, you know the drill, leave everything exactly where it is and file out in an orderly fashion.
(Dawson attempts to hang around so he can hide the envelope)
Principal: Mr Leery, now please.
Dawson: OK. (Dawson leaves the envelope on the table and walks away)
(The students spill out into the school grounds and Dawson looks back towards the school, concerned)
* * * * *
(After fire drill - Dawson is looking under the desk)
Joey: (walking up to the table) Dawson.
Dawson. It's gone.
Joey: What's gone?
Dawson: *It.*
Joey: Very funny (she goes to look under the table).
Dawson: I already checked.
Jack: You just left it here?
Dawson: I had no choice, Green was hovering.
Jen: OK, I took it.
(They all quickly look at her)
Jen: (holding hands up) Ahhh just joking. Good God!
Dawson: That's not funny. Pacey, please tell me you circled around and saved all our own lives?
Pacey: Excuse me?
Dawson: It's missing.
Pacey: What?
Dawson: *It.*
Pacey: (shaking his head) Uh-uh.
Dawson: Uh-uh, is it missing, or uh-uh, you don't have it?
Pacey: Both or neither. I really don't know what you guys are talking about.
Andie: Pacey, will you quit screwing around!
Pacey: Oh, I am not screwing around Andie. I'm just as upset as your are, dismayed, even broken-hearted.
Principal: (approaches the group) Ah, the McLoughlan group, right here at Capeside. Oh, I love an early morning debate. What's today's topic? No, wait a minute, don't tell me, don't tell me. 'Why is the PSAT not an oral exam?' Well unfortunately boys and girls, you're on your own with this one, so let's do me a favour and get back to it. Independently, OK? Let's go, c'mon.
* * * * *
(Joey at work - she is refuelling a boat and allows the tank to overflow)
Rob: Joey, what the hell-what do you think you're doing?
Joey: It's a mistake. Calm down already.
(Rob takes the pump from her)
Rob: (to the couple in the boat) Look, I'm sorry about that. She's new here. Your gas is on the house.
Joey: You didn't have to do that. I filled the tank. So I spilled a little. It's not exactly the Exxon Valdez.
Rob: That thirty-eight bucks is coming out of your pay check Potter, and consider your precious night off cancelled.
Joey: (incredulously) What?!
Rob: You heard me. You're working tomorrow night.
Joey: Oh, so that's how it's going to be?
Rob: That's how what's going to be?
Joey: Look, this is not about me messing up on the job. This is about your bruised little ego. Not used to female rejection, are you Rob?
Rob: I have no idea what you're talking about, Potter.
(He walks away)
* * * * *
(Bathroom at Jen's house - she is bandaging Jacks' ribs)
Jack: Damn, Jen!
Jen: Geez, just try not to make any sharp movements, alright?
Jack: It tends to happen with a certain pain striking my chest cavity.
Jen: I thought that you guys wore pads out there?
Jack: Yeah, well, I must have worn the placebo pads.
Jen: Well, at least you can maintain you sense of humour through all this.
Jack: Until it gets beaten out of me too.
Jen: Yeah.
Jack: Sorry. Tomorrow I'm turning in my helmet.
Jen: Jack, you can't.
Jack: Yeah? Watch me.
Jen: Alright my friend, you want to be a quitter? Go right ahead, be a quitter.
Jack: OK ward, I'm not Beaver Cleaver and we're not in black and white here. And no half-assed lame-induced reverse psychology is going to stop me from preventing my corpse from being carried off that field.
Jen: Alright, alright. Mock the sentiment, but you can't deny the truth. When you quit something, you're telling yourself that you're not good enough.
Jack: Oh, OK. So what you're saying is that, what I learn out there on the grid iron about sacrifice and pain will be of infinite value later on in life?
Jen: Mm-mm.
Jack: And if I quit now, I'll most surely quit in the more important contests of the future?
Jen: Exactly.
Jack: Yeah, well, I'm quitting.
Jen: OK, smartass, how about this for a reason-you caught the ball. Now, call me corny, call me superstitious, but fate tossed you that ball, Jack. Who knows why, but it did. Maybe you're meant to be a well-known gay athlete who inspires others to come to terms with who they are. Maybe you're meant to help the school actually win a few games and develop a sense of morale. Or, maybe this is just the first step towards meeting someone else in a similar situation. You don't know the reason, but until you do, hang on to that ball.
Jack: That was cheesier that your first response.
(Jen goes up to him to fix the bandages and pulls tightly)
Jack: Ow! C'mon.
Jen: Never talk back to someone who could cut off your air supply.
(Jen pats him on the chest twice before leaving)
(Dawson and Eve have gone back to the school at night to look for the envelope)
Eve: You're wasting your time, Dawson.
Dawson: It's got to be here somewhere.
Eve: How do you figure?
Dawson: Look Eve, could you at least pretend to help save my ass?
Eve: It is a cute ass, but
Dawson: But what?
Eve: We don't have a chance in hell of finding what you're looking for.
Dawson: How do you know that? The test was this table one minute, and the next minute it was gone. Obviously it has to have gone somewhere-
Eve: Quick Dawson! Somebody's coming.
(They hide under a table)
Eve: The light.
(Dawson turns the flashlight off - a security guard enters and begins walking around)
Dawson: (whispering) Question: what would look better on my highschool transcripts? (a) Cheating; (b) possession of stolen materials; (c) breaking and entering; or (d) all of the above?
Eve: You're right, Dawson.
(The security guard leaves - Dawson breathes a sigh of relief)
Dawson: About what?
Eve: Let's get out of here. Besides, if you really want that exam package, it would be too difficult.
Dawson: What do you mean?
Eve: It didn't disappear, Dawson. Somebody took it.
Dawson: How do you know that?
Eve: Call it female intuition.
Dawson: Eve, if you're right, it could have been anybody. There were dozens of kids in that room when the alarm went off.
Eve: Process of elimination-of those kids, how many know what was in the envelope?
Dawson: Five six including me.
Eve: Who would steal something they didn't know the value of? See my point? Face it, Dawson, in the privacy of their own room, one of your friends is right now slipping a finger between the pages, and breaking the seal.
* * * * *
(The gang seated in Principal Green's office)
Principal: (yelling) One month into my tenure here as principal at Capeside High and I've got a national (words were cut off). It makes no difference if one of you takes the fall for this, or you all go down together in some sort of grand gesture of teenage loyalty. But somebody better 'fess up, and better 'fess up soon!
(Joey gets up out of seat)
Principal: Otherwise, you are all expelled.
Dawson: Joey?
(Joey smiles at Dawson before pulling the fire alarm switch. The noise of the alarm turns out to be Joey's alarm - it was another dream. Cut to gang in the classroom again)
Joey: So what kind of black market booty do you have for us today, Dawson? Just happen to find out what Microsoft will be turning out tomorrow?
Dawson: Look, I called you guys here, because I wanted to give you all-give us all-a chance to rectify the situation.
Jack: How?
Dawson: Whoever stole the test needs to give it back.
Jen: Well, wasn't it already stolen, Dawson?
Pacey: I love the way that this girl thinks.
Dawson: Look, the point is, it's missing. Yesterday it wasn't.
Joey: So what's the harm in just letting it be lost, Dawson?
Jack: Yeah, I agree. Whoever needed was no more desperate than the rest of us, only quicker.
Andie: Doesn't it bother anyone what this says about our group's level of integrity?
Pacey: Well, I think I speak for *our* group when I respond with hearty NO.
Jen: I'm starting to feel like some sort of psychologically abused lab rat.
Joey: You're not the lab rat, Jen, Dawson is.
Dawson: Watch it, Joey.
Joey: Throwing parties, crashing boats, upstaging marching bands. Dawson, if your rope was any more yanked, you'd be a church bell.
(Pacey chuckles)
Dawson: Joey, Eve has nothing to do with this.
Joey: Oh, no? It's typical Dawson Leery behaviour to offer your friends contraband?
Dawson: She didn't tell me to do anything with that test.
Joey: You are so blinded by her covergirl looks, you wouldn't even notice if she did. I bet when she offered you that test, you didn't fire one ethical comment her way, did you? It's just your friends who have to sit here and and suffer through the Dawson Leery morality play. Bleach blonde ho-bag is willing to put out and you gotta audition.
Dawson: Are you finished?
Joey: I could go on.
Dawson: Look, I'm sorry I brought you all into this, but one of us has taken the charade to another level. Here's the deal. I'm going to leave my locker unlocked-whoever has the test will put it inside by 5:30 today.
Pacey: Oh, come on, Dawson. The petty thief among us already left the crime scene. They're not going to return that thing now, what's the incentive?
Dawson: To do the right thing.
(The gang disperses, leaving Dawson alone at the table)
* * * * *
(Andie waits for Pacey in the school hallway)
Andie: You got a second? It's important, Pacey.
Pacey: Sure.
(They go into a room off the hallway)
Pacey: You know, Andie, I'm really not in the mood for some sort of heart-to-heart today, so if we could kinda cut this thing short?
Andie: OK.
(Andie moves behind a desk and pushes toward Pacey a small box)
Andie: Consider this final negotiations.
Pacey: What's this?
Andie: Look for yourself.
Pacey: It's some t-shirts, (putting the cap on) a Panther's cap. (Holding it up) Dumbo. This was the first thing I ever gave to you.
Andie: Everything you've ever given me is in this box. All pictures, CD's, jewellery. It's all there.
Pacey: (throwing Dumbo and cap into the box) You don't think maybe this is a little harsh?
Andie: Pacey. This isn't going to one of those long, drawn out break-ups. You're not dealing the basket case you met last year. I have my life in order, and I intend on doing everything I can to keep it that way. I have a plan.
Pacey: (pumping his fist) Right, Harvard, Harvard. Ooveralez.
Andie: I wanted you to be a part of it, and if you can't, you get nothing.
Pacey: (holding out a picture of the two of them) Not even memories?
Andie: Especially not those.
Pacey: Fine. Well, if those are the terms, where do I sign?
Andie: You just did.
(Andie walks away, leaving Pacey with his hands on the box)
* * * * *
(Jack and Henry at football practice --- Jack is practising his tackles on a padded bag)
Henry: (egging him on) All right, Jacky boy, now move out, now to go, you hit, you hit work, work, work!
(Jack stops, doubled-over, panting)
Henry: You know what you need?
Jack: (still panting) What?
Henry: A montron-a private word or sound. Everyone's got one.
Jack: Really? What for?
Henry: Something to focus on, take your mind off the fact that you're about to be annihilated by a 250 pound lineman snorting fire at you from the other side of the ball.
Jack: Oh, that's great.
Henry: Seriously, Jack. Anything to stop from thinking. In this sport, thought equals death.
Jack: Let me ask you something. Why are you doing this?
Henry: What do you mean?
Jack: Helping me. I don't
Henry: That's easy. Two reasons. First, I want to win football games. And without your magic hands, we don't stand a chance.
(Jack scoffs)
Henry: And two is well, well you're gay, right? I mean, it's not supposed to be like a secret or anything?
Jack: No.
(Henry breathes a sigh of relief)
Jack: Why the sudden interest in my sexual orientation?
Henry: Well there's this, this girl, that you know. More like an angel really, or a goddess.
Jack: (smiling) Who?
Henry: I dream about her, Jack. Every night, heavy dreams about, about about her lips, her breasts, her legs. If she would just allow me near her, just smell her sweet smell, maybe even kiss me, or take me in her arms, deliver me from suffering and falsity it would prove that there wasn't anything bad, or or anything empty-hearted in this world that couldn't be corrected.
Jack: (laughing) Slow down Henry.
Henry: See how I am? You gotta help me Jack, I'm begging you.
Jack: You're not you're not talking about who I think you talking-
Henry: A certain head cheerleader.
Jack: Jen Lindley?
(Henry nods and Jack bursts out laughing)
Henry: What?
Jack: Word to the wise: this is no reflection on you Henry, at all, but um, you're a freshman. OK? You have about as much chance with Jen Lindley as I have of making it through that chute tomorrow.
(Jack laughs, pats Henry's chest and walks away)
* * * * *
(Joey at work, in the office, studying for the PSATs - the service bell rings)
Joey: Be there in a minute!
(Joey goes out to find Pacey, still ringing the bell)
Joey: No loitering, Pacey.
Pacey: (slurring his words) Listen, I am a legitimate customer, and I demand some service, OK?
Joey: Have you been drinking?
Pacey: (holding his arms up) Only liquor, I promise.
Joey: What's wrong?
Pacey: Oh, it's nothing that a little bonfire won't fix. (he picks up box and begins walking down the pier) You see, our friend Andie, decided that she needed to *cleanse* me from her life to maintain her sanity. The casualties were the contents of this box.
(Pacey trips over and the box falls into the water)
Pacey: Ahh. Hello Mr Dock.
Joey: Pacey
Pacey: (he turns around) Hey Jo?
Joey: Yeah?
Pacey: Can you do me a favour? I probably shouldn't go home like this-you think you could ring my dad and tell him I'm hanging here?
Joey: Yeah.
(Joey gets up and steps over Pacey into the office. Pacey sees that the photo of Andie and himself is on the edge of the dock and reaches for it)
Pacey: That's my girl.
(He accidentally knocks the photo into the water and watches the photo slowly sink)
* * * * *
(Dawson and Eve enter the school and walk up the corridor)
Eve: You're like a Saint Bernard, Dawson. Loyal and faithful to the last.
Dawson: In about thirty seconds I'm going to open that locker and prove you wrong.
Eve: How can you be so certain?
Dawson: Because I believe in happy endings, Eve. I always have.
Eve: 'Happy endings.' There's a contradiction in terms if I ever heard one.
(They stop outside Dawson's locker)
Dawson: (accusingly) You're enjoying this?
Eve: Not really. It's just that my taste in fairy tales usually runs more towards 'The Brothers Grim'.
Dawson: How can you be so relentlessly cynical?
Eve: How can you be so profoundly naïve?
(Dawson turns and opens his locker the test is not inside)
Eve: All is not lost my sweet prince.
Dawson: You know what Eve? Just leave me the hell alone, OK?
Eve: Are you sure? I can help you get the test back?
Dawson: How?
Eve: By telling you who took it.
Dawson: I'm listening.
Eve: Tell me who you think it is?
Dawson: (shrugs his shoulders) I don't know.
Eve: Yes you do. Whoever you were just thinking of that's the thief.
Dawson: It's not that simple.
Eve: It is. Simple and obvious.
Dawson: (closing his locker) I don't buy it. If there's one thing that I've learned from these stupid PSAT prep books is that the most obvious choice, is usually the wrong one.
Eve: We're not talking about standardised testing here, Dawson. Take a look at your yearbook. It's a crystal ball. The ones most likely to succeed, usually succeed. And the one most likely to wind up in a chain gang, usually has some rock-breaking in his future. Welcome to the real world, Dawson, where the first person to stab you in the back is your best friend.
* * * * *
(Evening at Joey's work. She is asleep at the desk, while Pacey is resting outside. Dawson approaches)
Pacey: (still drunk) Well, if it isn't Inspector get-a-clue-so. What brings you to these parts at this late hour?
Dawson: You're drunk.
Pacey: (holds a finger out) You're quick.
Dawson: It's the night before the PSAT, Pacey, why are you drinking?
Pacey: I don't need to study. I mean, I got the test, right? (He laughs)
Dawson: (seriously) If you have it, give it back.
Pacey: Oh, I wish I did, Ombre. I mean, I really wish I did. But I don't. I don't. It's not here, it's not at home under my bed with my Playboy's. It is nowhere to be found.
Dawson: Pacey, we've be friends for 16 years and I'm not stupid.
Pacey: Friends, huh? Friends. (he stands up, staggers, and begins walking down the dock) You know, that word 'friends', is an interesting word. (he stops and faces Dawson) It implies that you would actually believe you 'friend' when he's telling you something.
Dawson: Well, you can tell me the truth.
Pacey: (word?) (he laughs) You want to know what if find so very amusing about this situation? I mean, what I think is so really, really rich about all this? Is that you, yourself, were capable of stealing this test. All right, you've thought about it. You didn't throw that test away, you didn't give it back to Eve. You brought the test to us.
Dawson: No! (approaching Pacey) I wanted to consult the people I trusted to determine what the best thing was to do. I never thought that anyone was be so weak, or so self-motivated as to actually swipe it.
Pacey: Weak and self-motivated, huh? Now which one of those two colourful adjectives would I be?
Dawson: You are who you are, Pacey.
Pacey: Yes I am, Dawson. And so are you. (jabbing his fingers at Dawson's chest) You, Dawson Leery, are a self-righteous son-of-a-bitch who cares more about his rose-coloured, defunct 1950's belief system than the people who fail to live up it, huh?
Dawson: Interesting choice of words, coming from a smug, cold-hearted son-of-a-bitch who just dumped his girlfriend after she begged and pleaded for an ounce of sympathy!
Pacey: At least I didn't send her father to prison.
Dawson: No, you just made her go crazy.
(Pacey punches Dawson, who returns the favour, knocking Pacey to the ground. Joey emerges)
Joey: Dawson, what are you doing? (She goes to Pacey's aid)
Pacey: It's my fault, I'm sorry.
Joey: Dawson, this has *got* to stop. (to Pacey) Are you OK?
* * * * *
(Office at Joey's work - Joey enters. Pacey is sitting on the table)
Joey: Here, I brought you a Pepsi.
Pacey: No thanks, I'm not thirsty.
Joey: (handing it to him) It's for your lip moron, in lieu of ice.
Pacey: (holding the Pepsi to his lip) I can't believe he thought I took it-
Joey: So what, Pacey?
Pacey: I thought if I'd earned anyone's respect, it was Dawson's. I mean, if the guy who knows you better than anyone on earth thinks you're a loser, then maybe-
Joey: Then maybe you are one? C'mon. (jokingly) I mean, I thought you were a loser for years, but you've never believed me.
Pacey: It's just, you know, when does a person start believing the general consensus about themselves?
Joey: When it's right.
Pacey: Do me a favour?
Joey: What?
Pacey: Would you tell your friend, Dawson, that I'm innocent. I mean, he'll believe you.
Joey: Oh, my friend? Look, he's your friend too. And you know as well as I do that he's somewhere right now sulking over the gravity of his wrongful accusation.
Pacey: Oh, well, good. Let him stew in his own pride for awhile.
Joey: Oh, we're all guilty of that.
Pacey: Yeah, well, I'd never accuse him of cheating.
Joey: Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure he would never take the first swing at you.
Pacey: (defensively) He started that whole thing!
Joey: I'm not getting into this.
Pacey: (taps the top of the Pepsi, opens it) OK, so tell me?
Joey: What?
Pacey: What do you think happened to that test
Joey: (shrugs her shoulders) I don't know. And to be honest, I I don't want to know.
(Pacey tries drinking out of the corner of is mouth)
Joey: There are certain things in life you're better off not knowing. Some things you wish you never knew, never asked, and ah, never saw.
Pacey: OK, so tell me honestly, does it look that bad?
Joey: On your face, any reconstructive surgery whatsoever, is a definite improvement.
(Pacey takes another drink whilst Joey laughs)
* * * * *
(Dawson sitting on a picnic table near the water - he has a black eye - Eve approaches from the rear)
Eve: Did you get it back?
(Dawson turns and faces her - she looks at his eye)
Dawson: Not exactly.
Eve: What happened?
Dawson: That's what I've been sitting here trying to figure out.
Eve: And?
Dawson: The only thing I can come up with is you, Eve. You happened to me. You and that stupid test.
Eve: Which one of us gave you the black eye?
Dawson: Look Eve, I accept my blame in this, but don't even try to tell me you didn't know what giving me this test would do.
Eve: (begins laughing) Look, if crafting me as a villain in your little mystery is what it takes for you to sleep at night, go right ahead. The fact is, we're all criminals Dawson, in one way or another. It's just the stupid ones who get caught.
Dawson: (gets up to leave) Nice knowing you, Eve.
Eve: (grabbing his arm) Is that how it works? Someone offers you a view of human nature that's even remotely truthful, and you just walk away from them? It terrifies you, doesn't it? That wholesome Dawson Leery could be so overwhelmingly attracted to someone so flawed. So real.
(Eve goes to kiss Dawson, who moves back)
Dawson: Eve, if the purpose of us spending time together was to get to know each other, you know what? Now that I know you, I don't really like you.
(Dawson walks away leaving Eve shocked with a 'this doesn't happen to me' look)
* * * * *
(Football practice. Cheerleaders are singing a song and Henry is eye-balling Jen)
Jack: Parker! C'mon, move your tongue from the turf. (they begin to walk) I need some words of encouragement.
Henry: Ah, sure thing. How's your ribs?
Jack: Oh, you know, I can still breathe, but then again, practice isn't over yet.
Mitch: Alright people, get your helmets on. McPhee, you're first in the chute.
Henry: You got your montron?
(Jack nods)
Henry: What is it?
Jack: Fug.
Henry: Fug?
Jack: Ah-huh. (putting his helmet on) F-U-G. It's the only word I've got in my head right now. Fug. (louder) Fug! (louder still) FUG!
Henry: (handing Jack the football) Then go with it.
(Jack assumes the three-point stand, chanting 'fug, fug, fug'. The whistle blows. In slow-mo we see him burst through each pair of players. The cheerleaders look on and Mitch is pumping his fist, egging Jack on he finally gets through them all, to the cheers and congratulations of team mates and the cheerleaders)
Mitch: Way. To. Go! (more cheering) Way. To. Go!
(Jen walks a few yards towards the players)
Jen: (clapping her hands) Way to go. Unreal.
(Henry sees Jen. He runs straight at her chanting 'fug, fug, fug,' before swerving away at the last second)
Jen: (as Henry comes towards her) What the (after Henry goes past) What the hell was that?
* * * * *
(Classroom. Just about to begin the PSAT)
Principal: Today's PSAT test will be two-and-a-half hours long. As you know, there are five sections: two verbal, two mathematics, and one writing. There will be one fifteen minute break. Are there any questions? All right. You people have thirty minutes to complete sections-
(Dawson gets up out of his chair, walks over to Principal Green)
Principal: Can I help you, Mr Leery.
(Dawson hands over the test)
Principal: What are you doing?
Dawson: (sighs) It's a long story.
Principal: OK, if there's no-one else-
(Pacey gets up and goes over to Principal Green to hand over his test as well)
Pacey: I left the oven on. (He and Joey exchange smiles as he leaves)
* * * * *
(Dawson is waiting outside on the school steps. Pacey comes out to join him)
Dawson: What took you so long?
Pacey: Ah, it's those analogies, man, they're a killer. (Dawson smiles) Remind me why we just did that, again?
Dawson: Because, if we're gonna beat the crap out of each other, it should at least be over a chick.
(They both walk down the steps and off into the distance)
* * * * *
(Back inside the classroom)
Principal: (starting stopwatch) You may begin.
(The camera moves around the room as we hear the shuffling of papers as they start the test. We zoom in on Andie, who looks around to make sure she's not being watched, and then looks at the advanced copy of the PSAT that's right folks, she was the one)