This episode transcript was transcribed by Ron Jones for I Hate Jen! Its contents are copyright © The Warner Brothers Television Network.
(Dawson's bedroom. Pacey enters with a box full of stuff)
Pacey: The Commodore 64, the long darts, (word?) robots, super-sugar crisps, the laserdisc, and now, back from the halls of obsolescence, the betamax machine.
Dawson: You're a lifesaver. Less than 48 hours to pick up an expert documentary and all my mom's old movie reels are on beta.
Pacey: What? Dawson Leery eschewing the femoral world of make-believe for the gritty realities of real life? Has the world spun off course? Was the Dalai Lama spotted at Black Anges?
Dawson: More like my mother's been dangling a big fat carrot. The human interest story she was working on at the network fell out at the last minute.
Pacey: And?
Dawson: And she says if I can get her some raw footage by Friday morning, there's a chance she could whip it into shape and be on the air *that* night.
Pacey: Hey, chance of a lifetime. That'll make a guy change his vision.
Dawson: Oh, it's a temporary change. As soon as I get my foot in that proverbial door, I'll be right back to the magical land of make-believe.
Pacey: I don't know, Dawson. You've got an amazing opportunity here to change your whole genre. Real life stories are always more compelling than anything you could possibly dream up.
Dawson: Real life is interesting, but it'll never be as dramatic as a well conceived narrative.
Pacey: Look at everything that's been happening in your life lately. Are you honestly telling me that you could conceive of something more thrilling, more sexy, and more farfetched? Huh? All right, fine. Who's your guinea pig?
Dawson: It's Jack McPhee.
Pacey: I get it. Gay kid joins losing football team, overcomes adversity, battles antiquated stereotypes and then ends up becoming the star. Now if you're going to mess with that story, you'd just be gelding the lily, Dawson.
Dawson: It's a great story, but you can't just can't turn the camera on and let it run.
Pacey: Why not?
(Dawson is playing one of the tapes - Mitch playing catch with Dawson as a child)
Mitch: Tennn hut
Pacey: That's exactly what's happening here seems pretty interesting to me.
Dawson: My mom must have taped over her work.
Mitch: Good catch Dawson.
Joey's Mom: Honey, this is Dawson. Can you say hi?
Joey (as a child): Hi.
Pacey: Is that who I think it is?
Mitch: This is Joey, Dawson. Can you say hi?
Dawson (as a child): Hi Joey.
(Joey pushes Dawson to the ground and they go running off together)
Pacey: Once a heartbreaker, always a heartbreaker, huh Dawson?
(opening credits)
* * * * *
(Grams' kitchen - Jen walks out in cheerleading uniform with fishnets)
Grams: Why do you insist in degrading your team colours like that?
Jen: Well, Grams, the fishnets only come in black, and the uh, matching leather whip, it's on back order.
Grams: Oh, Jennifer.
Jen: C'mon Grams. The entire notion of cheerleading is just a sexist attempt to try to objectify the female body. I'm making a statement.
Grams: You're making a mockery.
Jen: The mockery has been made. I'm simply pointing it out. Although I got to tell you, I don't know how many more pep rallies and spirit cookies I can actually stomach.
Grams: Your school has an important game coming up. Right now they need your leadership, and vivre. Back when I was a member of the pep squad, we relished the opportunity to show off our team spirit by wearing our uniforms to school.
Jen: Grams, I hate to break it to you, but you were showing a bit more than just teen spirit.
Grams: (finally catching on) Jennifer!
* * * * *
(School - Pacey follows Joey whilst hiding behind a cardboard cutout)
Pacey: (in a ridiculously funny high voice) Like, oh my God, go team! Haa Haa!
Joey: For a minute, I thought you'd been possessed by these school spirit creatures from planet overzealous.
Pacey: Not quite yet, but I am thinking about making a run for it before the pods hatch. What do you say Scully?
Joey: Cut class with you? Sounds delectable. I'll pass.
Pacey: What if I told you that there were a mission to my madness?
Joey: Are you serious?
Pacey: (in a French accent) But of course! The monsieur in the stylish shirt requests the presence of the Madame for a very pressing appointment. Yeah?
Joey: What is it?
Pacey: (speaking normally) Well that would be the surprise part.
Joey: Just tell me Pacey.
Pacey: Let me think about that-nope.
Joey: Well fine. You won't tell me then I'm not going anywhere
Pacey: Oh little Joey (grabbing her cheeks like a baby), you are so cute. But friend to friend, honestly, you should check into more of those feigning disinterest classes.
Joey: No thanks. But trust me Pacey, I couldn't care less.
Pacey: Well, OK. Whether or not you're actually interested, you have about ten seconds to make up you mind after I round that corning, starting now. One two three four (he just rounds the corner).
(Joey gives a 'what the hell' look and turns around to follow Pacey)
Pacey: Six seconds? Six? I mean, C'mon, have you no pride? I though you'd last at least eight.
Joey: I loathe you.
* * * * *
(Dawson interviewing Jack at football practice)
Dawson: People have been shocked by how well you've taken to the game. Did you love football as a child?
Jack: I've only played football for a few weeks. I think the only subject I know less about is being gay, actually. I, I don't know. Some things are just instinct maybe?
Mitch: Well once thing that Jack has learned is the importance of starting practice on time. Go stretch out to run your forty, and taken a tenth off yesterday doesn't mean you can coast.
Jack: Gotta go, Dawson.
Dawson: No problem. We can take care of the Coach Leery interview. What do you say dad?
Mitch: Not now, Dawson.
Dawson: But dad, it's due tomorrow.
Mitch: Dawson, you can get an extension. Me, I've got a game on Saturday and I need these guys completely focused on football, OK? (going back to the football field) Keep it up!
* * * * *
(Football team huddled in a circle, sitting down)
Henry: (holding a mouth piece) He wore it in the (word?)/Miami game. He spit it out right after throwing the Hail Mary. Right when the whistle blew, my brother ran on to the field and grabbed it.
Jack: Well the dude's got some big molars.
Henry: They're crowns actually. Check out the number two bicuspids. Remind you of anyone? (puts his finger in his mouth to show his molars)
Jen: Hey, what's everybody looking at?
Jack: Oh, ah, apparently we're looking at Doug Flutie's old mouth piece. (Henry holds it out for Jen to see)
Jen: That was actually in his mouth? Well, that's disgusting. (Henry palms it)
Jack: Henry says it's his good luck charm.
Jen: Henry needs his head examined. (Jen and the other cheerleaders walk away)
Henry: What am I going to do Jack? I gotta do something. Jen Lindley her voice is the sweetest music. Her very name is fire in my loins
Jack: Ah, just a though Henry, but next time you might wanna just start by saying hello.
* * * * *
(Jen walking down school hallway)
Cheerleader # 1: Hey! We missed you this morning at the spirit table. Where were you? We were worried about you?
Jen: Look guys, I stayed really late at that pep rally yesterday. I have limits.
Cheerleader # 1: It's just a low iron day.
Cheerleader #2: Yeah, try not to let anyone else see, 'cause it might hurt the auction.
Jen: Auction?
Cheerleader # 1: The silent auction.
Cheerleader # 2: Yeah, you should be really proud. It's like the most successful one we've ever had. Like half the senior guys have already put in their bids.
Jen: What are you auctioning off?
Cheerleader # 2: Well, the winner gets to ride in on the Minuteman Mule, at the end of the game.
Cheerleader # 1: And receive a kiss from the head cheerleader. (she points at a photo of Jen stuck to a giant glass jar containing all the bids)
Jen: Oh, no they don't!
Cheerleader # 1: Now Jenny-
Jen: Jen! OK, it's Jen. You know this whole thing just started as a bad joke, and excuse to get out of biology but you see what it's turned into? I have pranced around this entire school at pep rallies without even knowing what the hell pep is. I have listened to clack and paddle about car washes, dance-athons and dog-sitting until I think I'm going to puke up my wholemeal spirit cookies.
Cheerleader # 1: Jenny!
Jen: And despite the itch I am getting on my ass from this polyester molest-me skirt, I've done it all with a smile of my face. But you know what ladies The smile has gone. I'm sorry, but there is no way that I'm going to be sold off like some herron girl to the highest bidder. Everyone has a limit, and I've reached mine. I quit. (she walks off)
* * * * *
(Andie walks through door at school, bumps into man from Educational Testing Service, causing papers to be spilled - they both bend down to pick the papers up)
Andie: (looking at the papers) PTS-
Man: Stop! Drop that folder. Back away from the material.
Andie: Yes sir.
Man: Keep your hands in plain sight.
Andie: Are you with the Educational Testing Service?
Man: That's confidential.
Andie: It's just that I hope nobody at Capeside High has done anything wrong. Broken any rules? Compromised the integrity of the exam?
Man: Passing along that information would constitute a breach of security.
Andie: Of course.
Man: You know where Principal Green is?
Andie: No sir. But, before you go, let me express my regret and recalcitrance at this incident.
Man: Recalcitrance?
Andie: Um, I mean repentance! Repentance, as in contrition, compunction, you know, (smiling) contriteness.
Man: Good day ma'am. Watch yourself. (Andie walks away worried)
* * * * *
(Pacey and Joey walking down a road)
Joey: This isn't a surprise, Pacey, it's a death march on a deserted road.
Pacey: We're almost there.
Joey: Why didn't we just drive?
Pacey: Because, Potter, on occasion my pop actually likes to use his car.
Joey: So I risk my future to cut class so I could stand in line at the postoffice and then traipse five miles through the wilderness carrying some stupid package?
Pacey: (whispers) Oh, God. (normally) You know, did you ever stop to think about how much hormonally charged energy you waste on these quick quips and the biting banter? Your life would be considerably more productive if you would just take some more, ah (tapping his forehead with his palm and snapping his fingers), oh, what is that? More, ah action! If you took more action.
Joey: Oh, what, like voluntary manslaughter?
Pacey: Well how 'bout like sticking out your thumb, huh?
Joey: Oh yeah? And what else? Maybe hike up my skirt, pout my lips, strike some sexy pose for some horndog trucker? Stick out your own thumb you sexist toad.
Pacey: I am not a sexist, I am a pragmatist. OK? You ever seen "A Sure Thing"? That movie elegantly portrays one of life's simple truths-that a female standing on the side of a road, even one with a perpetual scowl like yourself, has a better chance of flagging down a car than a guy.
Joey: Since I'm the only one here with an opposable thumb, I guess it's up to me to use it.
Pacey: (handing her the package) And here's you chance. (He runs away and jumps over a hedge of bushes)
(Joey sticks out her thumb as a car comes along, and it slows down)
Joey: (places her hand in the window frame) Hi (looks and sees that it is Principal Green)
Principal Green: Today is your lucky day Miss Potter, need a ride *back* to school?
Joey: (Looking as though she just got busted) Thanks.
Pacey: (Comes running out of the bushes holding some leaves) Oh! Principal Green. Whoo! Thank God you were here. In preparing for out botany assignment it appears Josephine and I wandered significantly farther away from the school than we had anticipated. Frankly, I was beginning to worry that we weren't going to make it back by nightfall.
Principal Green: (chuckling) That's a good one, Pacey.
Pacey: Yeah, well, you know, let it never be said that I'm lacking in the creativity department.
Principal Green: Let's hope you're not lacking the calamine lotion department either. Now put down the poison oak (Pacey drops it like a hot potato), and get your butts in my car.
Pacey: (holding open front door) After you Josephine.
* * * * *
(In one of school rooms, Mitch is planning football strategies in a chalk board)
Dawson: All right, dad. Dad?
Mitch: (turning around) Huh?
Dawson: I know you're very busy, I just need 10 minutes of your time. I'll be out of your hair.
Mitch: Can't it just wait 'til after the game? I promise you I'll have plenty of time for you after Saturday.
Dawson: Dad, I've got to FedEx this thing out.
Mitch: FedEx?
Dawson: Yeah. To mom, at the station.
Mitch: Station? What are you talking about?
Dawson: The story I'm doing on Jack.
Mitch: Your mother wants to do a story on Jack?
Dawson: I want to do a story on Jack. I *am* doing a story on Jack.
Mitch: This is gonna go on television. When?
Dawson: Hopefully tomorrow. Dad, we talked about this.
Mitch: I thought this was just one of your school projects?
Dawson: It is a project. Remember last night, in your kitchen the blonde-haired kid moving his lips? That was actually me telling you this.
Mitch: Dawson, this is the last thing that I need right now.
Dawson: Well why is that?
Mitch: Because football is a head game. And I can't risk my best player, or any player for that matter, losing focus. I've worked too damn hard.
Dawson: (getting annoyed) Forgive me if my entire future conflicts with your precious football team.
Mitch: Oh, don't be so theatrical. I'm the one with the football-loving principal breathing down my neck. I am trying to build something here.
Dawson: What do you think I'm doing? Dabbling in a hobby? That's the kind of opportunity I've waited for my entire life.
Mitch: All 16 years of it?
Dawson: So the importance of a person's dreams is measured by their age?
Mitch: There will be plenty of other opportunities, believe me.
Dawson: Are you telling me not to do this?
Mitch: I don't have to, because know you'll make the right choice.
* * * * *
(Joey at work - she walks around a corner to see Dawson in the doorway)
Dawson: Hey.
Joey: Hey. You must be lost-bimbo cove is up the creek right past brainless bay.
Dawson: Save your ammunition Joey, Eve and I are not on speaking terms.
Joey: You mean you guys actually talk?
Dawson: Among other things, yes. I need some advice.
Joey: What else are dumped ex-girlfriends for?
Dawson: It's about my father.
Joey: Father? What about him?
Dawson: He told me not to do the story on Jack and the football team.
Joey: He did?
Dawson: Well, not in so many words. He thinks it might jeopardise his career, his chances against (Woodworth?).
Joey: No offence Dawson, but doesn't a nationally televised broadcast kind of overshadow a highschool football rivalry?
Dawson: You'd have thought. I don't know. I mean, look at it from his point of view. The last couple of years his cup hasn't exactly been (word?). He had to give up his dream of a restaurant. His wife stepped out on him with the Capeside equivalent of Ted Knight, and his not exactly shining as a substitute teacher.
Joey: So if you go ahead with the story he could lose more than a game, he could lose his self-respect?
Dawson: Yeah. What do you think?
Joey: Well, I think that the swords that are the father and son have finally crossed in conflict. Face it Dawson, this is the stuff of Greek drama.
Dawson: Yeah, but is this tragedy or comedy?
Joey: Sometimes we fight out fathers, and they respect us. And sometimes we fight them and well, we lose them forever. You have to decide how you want to live your life. You know, what you can tolerate, and what you're willing to lose.
Dawson: God, this is *so* important to me, but if I do it it's gonna kill him.
Joey: Well, I hate to break it to you Dawson, but according to Freud, that's exactly what son's are supposed to do.
Dawson: (handing over tape) I dubbed this for you.
Joey: What's this.
Dawson: (smiling) Something I found. It'll bring a smile. I guess now you can call it a thankyou.
* * * * *
(Jen's bedroom)
Cheerleader # 2: (pointing) That must be dried saliva.
Cheerleader # 1: No, it's a zipper mark from the pillow.
(Jen stirs)
Grams: Yes, that bright sensations in your eyes is indeed sunlight. Rise and shine dear girl, these lovely young ladies have an urgent matter to discuss with you.
Jen: I thought I told that I was finished with cheerleading? And unless one of you is hiding a very large cup of black coffee under her pom-poms, I suggest you leave.
Cheerleader # 2: No, we respect you decision to resign from the squad.
Cheerleader # 1: Maddison has accepted the leadership challenge-
Cheerleader # 2: But please, you must reconsider the kiss.
Grams: Someone has bid $500.
Cheerleader # 1: But they've specifically stipulated that the kiss from come from you.
Jen: I don't care if they've bid the kingdom of Brunei, I'm not for sale.
Cheerleader # 1: What are we going to tell the children at the CCHPC?
Jen: The what?
Grams: The Capeside Country Home for Parentless Children.
Jen: Orphans? The that's what's the auction is for? Orphans?
(Jen groans, and gets back under the covers)
(Andie at school)
Principal Green: Miss McPhee, I've been looking for you.
Andie: Principal Green.
Principal Green: Yes. Ah, a critical problem has been brought to my attention, and I need to talk to you about it.
Andie: What sort of problem sir?
Principal Green: It's a disciplinary matter.
Andie: Disciplinary?
Principle Green: Yes. I'm unable to discuss it with you at length now, but you come to my office Monday, we'll sit down and go through all our options in detail.
Andie: Options. Yes sir.
Principal Green: Monday morning. Be there.
(Andie looks like she's just been caught big time)
* * * * *
(Principal Green's office where Joey and Pacey are seated)
Principal Green: Now, since Mr Whitter's attempt at lying to me was so creative, I've some up with a little creative response in kind.
Pacey: Well, coming from a just-minded soul as yourself, I'm sure your punishment will be nothing but fair, sir.
Joey: Well thank you, Eddie Hascall.
Pacey: Where is your school spirit Josephine?
Joey: I think I left it cowering in the bushes.
Pacey: Now that is a gross misconception. I hurled myself upon the flames of responsibility.
Joey: I hope a deer tick crawled in your ear and laid eggs.
Principal Green: Enough. (puts down a large cardboard box) Honestly, I am not sure how to get through to the two of you. But since you obviously have an affinity with one another, here's what I have in mind. (opens box)
Joey: No way.
Pacey: Oh, that's not gonna happen.
Principal Green: (smiling) Oh, I'm glad to see we're all in agreement here.
* * * * *
(Jack is coming down the stairs at school talking to a friend when he sees Andie sitting in the middle of the stairs)
Jack: Hey.
Andie: Hey.
Jack: What's wrong?
Andie: Nothing's wrong. Why should anything be wrong?
Jack: Because you're sitting in a stairwell in a public highschool. Now unless your smoking or making out, it's cause for concern. (grabbing Andie's hand) Come on, I'm gotta meet Dawson, check out the footage for my interview.
Andie: You went through with it?
Jack: Yeah, cool, it went great.
Andie: Well it may seem that way today, but anything could happen tomorrow to rock your safe little world.
Jack: What?
Andie: Jack, maybe you overlooked something. Maybe maybe you didn't see every angle maybe you had a terrible moment of weakness maybe without realising it you totally, irreversibly screwed up.
Jack: Andie, it's not that big a deal. Why are you being so paranoid.
Andie: Look Jack, you could live your entire live on the straight and narrow, driving towards something you believe in. Then what? One tiny little mistake, one little error in judgement, and the next thing you know your car's on the side of the road flipped over, wheels still spinning and the radio on.
Jack: What the hell are you talking about?
Andie: I'm talking about being publicly shamed, exposed for what you really are, I'm talking about a life being ruined, cut short, nipped in the bud. I'm talking about breaking dad's heart.
Jack: Dad?
Andie: Think about how he's going to feel, Jack. His disappointment, his humiliation. I mean we are his pride and joy Jack. Think about hard he's worked for us over the years, how much he's sacrificed, and now this, out in the open, for everyone to see.
Jack: Just calm down, all right? I mean, it's not like I'm still in the closet. Dad's already knows I'm gay.
Andie: I kn-, yeah, I know. I know. I just want you to be careful, Jack. Every action has a consequence. Be sure you think this thing through.
(Jack looks confused as Andie walks away)
* * * * *
(The story on Jack airs on television)
Jack: No-one seems to care what I may or may not do off the field.
Dawson: (to opposing coach) So you have no problem playing against someone who is openly gay?
(Mitch gives Dawson a filthy look across the living room)
Coach: If a kid wants to come out wearing lipstick and rouge, we're gonna infringe on him, the way we infringe on anybody else, it's no different.
(Dawson turns off television)
Dawson: Well?
Mitch: I just lost the first game of my coaching career.
Dawson: If you say so.
Mitch: Dawson, that just went out to three million people. Not to mention, you interviewed the opposing coach.
Dawson: So?
Mitch: So! Two days ago nobody knew how good Jack was, or who he is. Now the whole world knows. You might as well have gone out and painted a bullseye on his back. (he get up and begins to walk away)
Dawson: You never explained that to me dad.
Mitch: I didn't think I had to, it's pretty damn obvious.
Dawson: Not to me, it isn't. So instead of celebrating my first professional success in the world, you're sitting here worrying about a football game.
Mitch: Hey, don't make me out to be the bad guy here, Dawson. Yes I'm angry, just like you wanted me to be.
Dawson: Dad, we're talking about a football team that hasn't put a notch in the win column in three years.
Mitch: Now what are you saying, that I'm wasting my time?
Dawson: No, but I want you to have some perspective.
Mitch: I can't even discuss this with you now. You have no idea what you're talking about.
Dawson: Thanks to you I don't. Ever since you took this job you haven't spoken to me.
Mitch: I talk to you.
Dawson: Not the way you do to the guys in your team.
Mitch: Well, you know what, they respect me.
Dawson: I respect you dad. It's just they're more the kind of son you wished you had.
Mitch: That is not true. Dawson, I hum the theme from "Close Encounters" in my sleep. I reach out to you. And when we can't find common ground I give you your space.
Dawson: And when I take it, you get pissed off at me-
Mitch: No! I'm just trying to break you out of you self-centred, self-righteous fantasy world *long* enough to look out for other people.
Dawson: Since when is it my responsibility to look out for you?
Mitch: What are you saying?
Dawson: I'm saying I parent *you* dad. I walk in on you having sex, I give you advice. I'm the kid around here, and sometimes I might even act like it.
(They stare at one another until Dawson turns and leaves)
* * * * *
(Football match - displays scenes of Jack getting hammered by
opposition players and pile-ups)
Opposing Player: Go back to tether-ball you limp-wristed homo
Jen: This is getting ugly.
Mitch: (Crap pack?) God dammit. (Crap pack, crap pack.?) (to one of his bench players) Wipe our blokes down, (Lip?) takes out the end. You're kidding, Jack, he's getting killed out there. Now run a games, DOA. (yelling) Walk it off McPhee. Good man, walk it off.
Jack: (to himself) Walk it off. I am walking it off. You walk it off.
Mitch: You all right? Buckle up, let's go.
Dawson: Now tell me the truth, is this all my fault?
Jen: In a word yes. Look on the bright side Dawson, at least when this is over, win or lose, you won't be on the fifty yard line puckering your lips for some spoiled brat with furry teeth and halitosis.
(Joey and Pacey are unpacking the Minuteman mule costume)
Pacey: Just think of it as method acting.
Joey: Think of it as out of the question.
Pacey: I'll flip you for it.
Joey: Not a chance.
Pacey: (word?)
Joey: Forget it.
Pacey: Fine. I'll just cut to the chase and beg you (falling to his knees and grabbing Joey around the waist) please Joey, please, please, please don't me go out there.
Joey: Pacey. Look. I am supposed to be at work right now earning much needed money, but instead, because of you, I'm standing on a football field fighting over the rear end of a mule.
Pacey: Fine, fine. I'm just giving you fair warning.
Joey: What?
Pacey: Well I tend to get a little car sick in back seats.
(Joey has a 'this can't be happening' expression and puts the mule's head on Pacey)
* * * * *
(Close-up of Andie's face)
Andie: Principal Green. I made a mistake. Well, a terrible error in judgement, really. I know that there's no excuse for what I've done so I won't waste your time, but there is an explanation. One that I can only pray that you'll find in your heart to understand. See, there's this guy. And when I met him, it was like, a shade going up in a dark room-light suddenly pouring in. He understood me in a way that no-one ever did our could. And then, just as suddenly, the room got dark again. In my mind I mean. See over the summer, I was treated as a psychiatric hospital. (starting to cry) I didn't have to stay long because I got better. But when I came back, I had lost the guy. He was my soulmate. It was like having an organ, my heart, literally ripped from my body. And all I could feel was cold and empty, my future slipping away. And I had lost the love, and so I was determined not to lose my life and that is why I stole the test and that's why I cheated. Because I wanted to try to keep it from all getting away from me, and I know that I only made things worse. So, now all I can ask for is your compassion.
(The camera moves away and we see Andie has been talking to a mirror)
* * * * *
(Back to football game - siren sounds for half time)
Announcer: (opposing team name?) lead Capeside Minutemen twenty-one to nothing.
Dawson: Let's go.
Jen: Where are we going.
Dawson: We're gonna score.
(Cut to locker room)
Mitch: (snippets from Mitch's talk) Come on guys, you can't let them get to you They are psyching you out Putting us out of our game plan Truth is, we're not moving the ball We're not firing out on defence Such in that gut and go harder A long time ago there was a Chinese warrior philosopher-
Dawson: General Sunzu. (he enters carrying a bucket of black paint) A brilliant military strategist who lived about two thousand years ago. My dad's been telling me about him ever since I was a kid.
Mitch: What's with the bucket?
Dawson: We turn out weakness into a strength, just like the General said. We'll start by obscuring everyone's numbers, so the other team can't find Jack.
Mitch: That might work for a couple of plays.
Dawson: That's why it's only phase one.
Henry: So what's phase two.
(Jen and the other cheerleaders enter to the whistles of the players)
(Back on the field for the second half)
Opposing Coach: All right, let's get up there, let's get up there and hit somebody now, hit somebody.
Mitch: Here we go. Cross your fingers.
(The opposing team line up to find all of the Capeside team have lipstick and rouge)
Henry: Try and find the homo now.
* * * * *
(Late in the game)
Announcer: Twenty-four to twenty-one with seven seconds left. The Minutemen have one last chance.
(Team in a huddle)
Henry: Can we get a step on them Jack? One more time, what do you think?
Jack: I think my mascara's running. Just throw me the ball, I'll catch it.
Henry: Consider it done. All right, cradle out, draw nine shiver, broadside option, flow and go on two, ready?
Team: Break!
(In slow motion Henry throws the ball, Jack catches it, breaks a tackle and dives over the line. Touchdown! The crowd cheer and go a crazy, storming the football field)
Announcer: What a come back. Final score, Capeside 27, (name of other team) 24.
Principal Green: That was one of the most irreverent and imaginative game plans I've ever seen. Congratulations Coach!
Mitch: Thank you.
(The team go over and dump water all over Mitch)
Jen: One good deed down, one to go.
Dawson: Jen Lindley, once again the victim of a lonely heart.
Jen: Don't push it buddy.
(Andie comes running up to Principal Green)
Andie: Principal Green, I need to talk to you.
Principal Green: Not right now Andie
Andie: No, sir, it's important, and it can't wait for me to clear this up.
Principal Green: OK, what is it?
Andie: I made a mistake. Well, a terrible error in judgement, really.
Principal Green: What kind of mistake?
Andie: I know there's no excuse for what I've done so-
Principal Green: What are you talking about, Andie?
Andie: Didn't you want to talk to me?
Principal Green: It was Monday, I was going to discuss it with you on Monday, but if you must know now, I'm forming a new student disciplinary committee, and I want you to be in charge of it.
Andie: (shocked) Oh I could do that. I mean, I would be honoured to do that.
Principal Green: Now, what was this mistake you were talking about?
Andie: I shouldn't have interrupted you. It's ah, a mistake to be so impatient, but I'm working on it sir.
Principal Green: OK. I'll talk to you later. (he jogs off to make some announcement, leaving Andie relieved)
* * * * *
(Crowd on football field is yelling 'speech, speech')
Principal Green: All right. OK. OK. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for the winner of the silent auction, who is entitled to one ride on the Minuteman mule and, one heart-stopping kiss from our head cheerleader.
Jen: (whispering) Ex-head cheerleader.
Principal Green: (ignoring her) And here he is.
(The mule gets halfway to Jen before toppling over. Henry gets up and takes off his helmet)
Jen: (surprised) Henry: How the hell did you get $500?
Henry: Mouthpiece.
Jen: Mouth-wait a minute. You sold your good luck, Doug Flutie memorial mouthpiece just to kiss me? (people are egging Henry on) I don't know whether to gag or be incredibly touched.
(The crowd start chanting "kiss, kiss, kiss")
Henry: You, you don't have to .. if you
Jen: C'mere freshman.
(They kiss to the cheers of the crowd - Henry looks like he died and went to Heaven)
Jen: OK, OK, everybody go home, show's over folks, go home.
Principal Green: No, no, no. Not quite yet. We have a little unfinished business yet here. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you your choice for Capeside's 1999 homecoming queen Miss Jennifer Lindley!
(The crowd cheers. A cloak is placed around her shoulders, a crown on her head, and wand in her hands)
Jen: (to herself) This isn't be happening.
* * * * *
(Jack sitting on a bench after the game - Andie comes up and sits next to him)
Andie: See, I told you everything would work out fine.
Jack: You did.
Andie: Yeah, everything usually works out for the best as long as you keep a positive attitude.
Jack: Positive attitude? OK, is this before or after I disgraced the family's good name and forever humiliated our father, huh?
Andie: Oh, I wouldn't worry about dad, I'm sure he's over it. He's probably off sailing or golf or wherever he is. I wouldn't give it another thought.
Jack: Andie, you're making my head spin.
Andie: Look Jack, I'm just glad it's all over. I can't tell you how relieved I am. Hey, so who won the game anyway?
(Jack gives her a 'what pills have you been popping' look)
* * * * *
(Voices coming from the mule on the ground)
Girl: Someone was so sweaty I couldn't even breath.
Boy: Well, somebody wouldn't let me take my shirt off.
Girl: Well somebody forgot to open the air vents.
(They appear and they are not Joey and Pacey)
Boy: Well somebody forgot to mention there were air vents in the first place.
Girl: I told you we never should have listened to those two slackers.
* * * * *
(Joey getting out of car)
Joey: This is it? This is the surprise?
Pacey: Isn't she beautiful? (a run-down old boat)
Joey: Yeah, in a Titanic, post-iceberg sort of way. Where did you get this?
Pacey: A friend of my brothers, he works down at the marina. He rescued her after the last hurricane. The guy who owned it didn't want her any more, so I convinced him to sell it to me for like, two hundred bucks. When I finish with this boat it is going to be sheer perfection. Look at that.
Joey: Pacey, do you know how much money and time it will take to even get this boat to float.
Pacey: Yeah. (climbing aboard) Not a minute more or less than as long as it takes me. You watch Potter, in a couple of months I'll be sailing this baby around the world.
Joey: I hate to break it to you Captain (Stubing?), but you can't sail around the world in a twenty foot boat.
Pacey: Sure I can.
Joey: Where are you going to put the supplies?
Pacey: Hey, the USS Minnow was no bigger than this, and they found room for all of Mr Hallow's money, all the professor's tools, all of Ginger's clothes and where do you think you're going?
Joey: (holds our her hand) Permission to come aboard.
Pacey: (helping her up) Permission granted.
Joey: Thank you. Ah.
Pacey: Now the purpose for our fore into truancy. (unwraps package - holds our name plaque for boat) What do you say?
Joey: True Love?
Pacey: Yeah, it's my girl's name. Kind of on the (smallish?) factor, huh?
Joey: Acutely. But sweet.
Pacey: Now remember, I told you I needed your help for something.
Joey: With what?
Pacey: (he hands over some sandpaper) Start sanding.
Joey: (taking it) You are so overboard.
(They begin sanding)
* * * * *
(Evening. Dawson is sitting on a bench at the football field. Mitch comes out and sits next to him)
Mitch: The night you were born I cried like a baby.
Dawson: (surprised) Did you really. I didn't know that.
Mitch: I think I cried for 24 hours straight. Holding you, so small in my arms, I never knew I could love anything so much, so fast. So utterly. Part of me was terrified. Raising a son is more a matter of faith than most people know.
Dawson: So's being one.
Mitch: You're right. I think I realised something today.
Dawson: What?
Mitch: That my job as a father, isn't to give you the whole picture, because the truth is, I can't see it myself. My job is to try and help. And every now and then, fit a piece of the puzzle.
Dawson: You have helped me dad.
Mitch: I hope so. But your future, your expectations they belong to you. Don't let anybody stand in the way. Not even me.
Dawson: You always pushed me to be my own person. To think for myself. I just did what you taught me.
Mitch: So what do you say, we go home-pop in little 'Close Encounters' or something?
Dawson: (picking up football) Actually, I was thinking, how about a game of catch?
Mitch: (taking the ball) Gimme that. We'll leave the football out on the field where it belongs.
(Mitch throws it - when it comes down we are shown the tape of Dawson playing catch as a kid and also of Dawson playing with Joey - we see Joey watching the tape, smiling, thinking of what could have been)
Dawson as a child: Bye Joey.
Joey as a child: Bye Dawson.