A Shattered Darkness

by Destardi.

BOOK TWO

Chapter Eight

Watching the approaching riders Buck sighed, in the four years he'd been back he'd seen the boys ride out to go to war then come home one by one until all that remained out on the road was Jimmy, Teaspoon, and Kid. Watching the trio approaching he hoped that it was one of them, if for no other reason than he'd missed his friends. Seeing the familiar palomino and paint horses he smiled. "Lou your husband's here." He hollered and stepped aside as Lou dived out the door, nearly running him over in the process to race to meet the man dismounting from the paint mare. Seeing him swing her into his arms, Buck swallowed, despite the time and distance he still felt a desperate pull for Missouri, one he kept fighting. He couldn't go back to her, and he should know that by now.

"Looks like they made it." Rachel said as Cody joined them.

"Looks like it." Cody agreed and glanced up the street. A wagon was coming along, the heavy team looking tired with the large load it pulled but his attention was caught by the dark haired woman who was standing on the sidewalk, a tow-headed little boy by her side.

Sucking in a breathe he preened as she stepped off the boards and headed directly toward them. "Rachel you know who that is?" He asked turning everyone's attention to the oncoming woman and her child.

"Nope. Never seen her before." Rachel glanced at Buck when he tensed and watched the color drain from his face. "Buck you okay?"

Nodding Buck struggled to breath, what the hell was Anna doing in Rock Creek? He wondered. She was supposed to be in Missouri. "Just fine." He croaked.

"You don't look it."

With a strangled moan Buck stepped past Rachel and into the bunkhouse, closing the door behind him and leaning against it for good measure. Just when he'd thought he'd made some headway, she showed up and ruined it, he couldn't face her. He couldn't reveal his weakness, especially when he knew it would destroy all of them.

"What's with Buck?" Cody whispered to Rachel. "You'd think he'd never seen a pretty girl before."

"I don't know Cody." Rachel glanced at the woman as she neared them. "Morning."

"Morning." With a quick, easy smile the woman glanced at the young blonde standing behind the woman. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I could have sworn I saw an old friend of mine over here and was wondering if I could leave a letter for him?"

"Certainly. Is the letter addressed?" Rachel said automatically taking the letter the girl held out. "Can I tell him where you'll be if he wants to catch up with you?"

"Yes it is. I bought the farm ten miles west of here. We'll be there if he needs to see us." Anna smiled softly, nodded briefly at the gathering and turned to lead Isaac away. She'd seen Buck's retreat and while she couldn't say she understood his reasoning, she did have to admit that sometimes hiding was better than facing things. Leading Isaac back to the buckboard her father had left her, she directed the team toward the small farm she'd bought nearby. Smiling down at her small child, Anna mentally shrugged aside the worry about Buck and focused on what she'd need for starting this years crop. She had plenty of wheat seed, Allen Tayler made sure of that, a good team for plowing, and the will to make it work. Only problem was she knew more about horses, cattle, and giving orders than she did about farming.

"Momma?" The small voice drew her from her thoughts.

"Yes baby?"

"When's Grandpa coming?"

"Soon Baby, soon." Anna laughed softly and clicked to the team. Thankful for the blessings she had. Watching the wind in the tall grass she sighed, she did miss Ike. Probably always would, he had been such a big part of her life till he died, but now she felt more at ease with the pain, and the sense of loss. With any luck Buck would realize soon that she needed him as more than a friend, a realization that had startled her that night she'd realized he wasn't there.

Thinking back on it, she wondered why she'd been surprised when she'd rolled over in her bed at the ranch and reached across the white expanse of sheet to find no one there. Buck had never slept in her bed, he'd always bunked down in the living room, and was usually up before she was, but it had still hurt when she'd reached for him only to find him beyond her reach.

Toughening her resolve she promised herself she was going to make Buck face this thing between them if she had to follow him around on horseback.

"Nice lady." Cody said as Kid, Jimmy, and Teaspoon dropped their bedrolls next to the door of the bunkhouse. He ignored Kid as he swept Lou into a fierce hug, despite the fact that they'd been married years, they hadn't gotten to spend much time together before he'd gone off to fight for Virginia.

"No, she's trouble with a capital T." Buck muttered and took refuge in his coffee when Cody opened his mouth.

"You've met her before?"

"Yes." Buck replied hoping against hope that the matter would be dropped, but realizing that it probably wouldn't be.

"Where?" Jimmy asked. "She seems a little more wealthy than you and I."

"In Missouri." Buck replied quickly. "She was on a farm I worked on for a while."

"Interesting." Cody smiled suddenly. "That wouldn't have been just after Ike was killed would it?"

"Cody mind your own business." Buck snapped angrily, his dark eyes flashing furiously. "Before someone shoots you."

"Fine. You don't have to be that way. She's got a cute kid."

"Yeah he is." Jimmy replied. "Kinda familiar though."

"Probably looks like his Ma is why." Cody replied taking the offered cup of coffee from Rachel and glancing at the door that had just closed quietly. "Looks like Kid and Lou are gone for a while."

"He looks like his father. Too bad it wasn't you." Buck muttered under his breath. "I should get going Rachel. I've got that load of lumber to grab for you."

"Sure. Since you know that girl, could you drop this letter off. I don't recall any strangers here but you might know the person." Rachel handed Buck the letter who jerked it from her fingers, slapped his hat on and stomped out the door. A moment later Teaspoon frowned at Rachel.

"Doesn't Buck need the wagon to haul lumber?"

"Yes." Rachel glanced at him and shrugged. "Why didn't he take it?"

"Nope. Just took Ike's grey and headed north."

"Leave him be then." Rachel said a smile tugging at her lips. "You boys must be hungry."

Pulling up under a stand of trees Buck dismounted and sat down under the branches. Pulling out the letter from his pocket he stared at the handwriting and swore. "What does she have to say now?" He wondered allowed and tore open the envelope.

Dear Buck, this letter was enclosed in that can you gave me. I've never read it, and yet I have a feeling I know what's in it. I'll be home if you want to come talk to me about it. Your friend, Anna. Unfolding the other sheet of paper he stared down at the familiar writing with a sick feeling in his gut. Tracing the familiar curves of the letters he took a deep breathe before starting to read. Dear Buck; Comes as quite a shock doesn't it? Having to be alone. Only thing is you're not alone are you. You've got the boys, Rachel, Teaspoon, even Lou to some extent. Now though you've got someone else, a lady in the truest sense of the word, only thing is she doesn't worry about how much money you've got, or what you are. Anna never did care about things like the color of a person's skin or where they came from, with her it was what was in your heart, and you've got a good heart.

I can imagine what you're thinking. You're probably cursing me out for sending you to her but I know both of you and I think you'd be good for each other. Anna needs a friend, someone to lean on and you need someone who isn't going to shrink back from your touch because you're Indian. I think the two of you will do well. Don't beat yourself too badly about caring for her, even loving her. I don't. The only thing I ask of you Buck is that you love her with your whole heart, don't judge her for her past as so many would do. Anna might look like a tough lady, but underneath she's got a soft heart, that wounds easily and heals slowly. Your friend, Ike McSwain. P.S. Buck, no matter what just remember we're brothers, and I love you. Be happy.

Staring at the words Buck glanced up and watched a doe with her fawn a few yards off. Perhaps Ike hadn't realized what the full extent of how much he asked of Buck, or perhaps he had. Perhaps, Ike being Ike had realized that Buck needed a little help when it came to being happy. Maybe he'd given him a chance at living again?

Bending one knee he rested his wrist on it and sighed. He'd been running from what he felt for Anna for so long could he make things work if he went to her? Could he forgive himself for letting Ike down when he needed him most? Shaking his head Buck glanced back at the letters and sighed. He didn't know. Rising he folded them and slipped them back into his pocket before mounting up and turning east. With a tightening of his legs he urged the mare into a run and blanked his mind to the turmoil within him. He couldn't deal with everything right now.

With dusk rapidly closing in, he pulled up and made camp regretting that he hadn't packed a few things. After all being prepared to outrun one's emotional state was a good thing. Staring into the flames he took out Ike's letter and read it again then fingering the thin piece of paper with the last few lines his friend wrote he stared back at the flames, torn between burning it and saving it as a final link to his friend.

Finally, hesitantly he tucked it back into his pocket and leaned back against his saddle. With Anna in Rock Creek and looking like she planned on staying he'd go back to Missouri, maybe Walker would give him a job.

Studying Rachel Cody sighed, "He's been gone a week Rachel. Where did he go to get that lumber?"

"Lumber arrived two days ago. Frank drove it over himself." Kid said without glancing up from where he sat reading while Lou fussed over him. "I know cause I had to unload it."

"Buck's just as bad as he was after Ike died, if not worse." Noah snapped. "How long you figure he'll be gone this time?"

"Oh probably a few weeks." Rachel smiled and leaned back in her rocking chair a pile of mending in her lap.

"You know why?"

"Yep." Rachel glanced up at Jimmy stepped onto the porch. "Hey Jimmy, how'd it go in town today?"

"Well Barnett's an even bigger fool than I thought originally. Teaspoon and I have to go over to the county seat in a few days to straighten out a prisoner mixup."

"Who'd Barnett send that he shouldn't have?" Lou laughed softly.

"It isn't who he sent, or didn't send for that matter. He didn't wire the army that he had a prisoner of theirs, and the army wasn't too impressed." Jimmy explained settling next to Cody on the porch. "Lou you keep fussing over him he's never gonna get anything done."

"Oh hush up." Lou glanced at Jimmy with a mock frown, her brown eyes sparkled happily making her expression more humorous than anything. "He's my husband and I'll fuss if I want to."

"Leave her be Jimmy." Kid glanced at his friend with a half grin. "Sooner she figures out that I'm fine the sooner I'll get something done."

"Quit your complaining, we all know you're enjoying it." Noah laughed softly at Kid's words. "Now if we could only get that knot head Buck to settle into one place for a few days."

"Personally, I'm glad he's gone. Means I don't have to put up with him getting me out of bed before sunrise to work." Rachel laughed. "Course working with him is like working with stone, that man hasn't let up in over four years."

"You'd think he'd move on after all this time." Lou started resting her hands on Kid's shoulders. "I mean Ike's been dead for nearly five years."

"Oh it ain't Ike's death that's wearing on him now." Rachel replied glancing up at the sound of hoof beats. "He had a run in with someone in Missouri, and it's been bothering him."

"Why don't he ask for help then?" Kid asked. "If he's waiting for trouble, he should know we'd back him up."

Laughing softly Rachel shook her head. Staring at the mending in her lap, she wondered just how much she should say that would help the boys be a little more understanding. "This kind of trouble you can't help him with."

"Why?" Lou repeated.

"Well you or Kid might, but the rest of you forget it." Setting the rocker in motion Rachel shrugged. "He met a girl."

"Nice one?"

"Ike seemed to think so." Rachel replied. "At least he thought enough of her to ask Buck to watch out for her."

"Buck would've done that. What she shoot him down or something?" Cody asked with a slight frown.

"No. I'm not sure of all the details myself, but I think he's got a hangup about being her friend cause she was Ike's girl or something." Rachel explained quickly with a half-hearted shrug.

"Hangup? Ha, try impossible stubborn streak that runs a mile wide." Anna sighed. "I suppose he isn't here?"

"Nope. Ain't been for a week at least." Rachel replied hoping her surprise at seeing the other woman didn't show. "Where's that little boy you were with?"

"Isaac?" Anna smiled thankful that they'd asked a question she could answer. "He's with his grandfather. Pa and he get along a lot better than Pa and I ever did."

"Your husband must be pretty proud of him." Jimmy said softly, "He seems to be a very well mannered little boy."

Anna frowned slightly and sighed, "You have no idea who I am do you?"

"Nope." Jimmy replied shifting uneasily at her words. He glanced at the others when the woman laughed softly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Should we?"

"Yeah." Anna replied. "Actually you should." Turning Anna whistled softly to her mount who trotted up and swung into the saddle. Turning the horse around she loped up the street to the telegraph office.

"Hi Miss Anna, how are you this fine day?" The young man who worked in the office greeted her readily.

"Just fine Timothy." Anna dug out some change. "I've got to send a wire, think you can do it for me?"

"Sure. What would you like to say?"

"It's to Calverton Missouri, it's a small town but I know they've got a wire there since I've gotten two wires from Walker already." Anna explained. "Address it to Walker Morrison and it should read very simply this." Giving instructions she smiled at the shocked look on the man's face before turning and walking back out to her horse.

Chapter Nine

Pulling up next to the main house Buck swung down and headed up the steps to knock at the door. When it opened he smiled at Emma, "Hi Emma. You guys got room for a weary traveler?"

"Hi Buck. Come on in, Walker's in town but he should be back shortly."Emma stepped back from the open door to allow him into the house. "Where's Anna?"

"Rock Creek." Buck replied shortly.

"And you left to come here?"

"Yeah. I rode over to Tayler Point, got on the train and came over. Seemed safer than facing her."

Laughing Emma sat down and offered him a chair. "You know she's in love with you."

"No she's not." Buck paled at Anna's words and stared at the scared tabletop. "She's still recovering from losing Ike."

"Yeah, but I've never seen her take on her father for anyone like she did so she could be free of the past." Emma sighed softly. "She loves you, and unless I miss my guess, you are in love with her."

"No I'm not. Anna's Ike's.."

"Was Ike's girl." Emma leaned back in her chair. "You know that as well as I do."

"I don't go around betraying friends. Ike wouldn't steal my girl.."

"Ike's dead." Emma inserted softly. "You should know that better than anyone."

"She still dreams about him." Buck muttered. "I know, she wakes up calling out for him."

"Funny last time I got a letter from her she didn't say anything of the sort. Complained about waking up reaching for you."

"Probably to wring my neck." Buck smiled at the other woman. "Either way I'm sure she'll be happy to have me out from underfoot."

"Hey Emma who's here?" Walker's voice had both of them glancing up at him. "Hey Buck. I got a wire for you." He said after a moment's pause.

"From who? No one knows where I am." Buck frowned when Walker handed the paper to him.

"Don't know. It was addressed in care of me but it had your name at the top, other than that I couldn't tell you." Walker replied pouring a cup of coffee.

Opening it Buck glanced at the few simple words that were there and laughed. "Thanks for the coffee Emma but I've got to get going."

"You just got here!" Emma exclaimed at the sudden turn of his attitude. "Look whatever is so important can wait until morning can't it? Leave at first light."

"Perhaps you're right." Buck nodded and rose. "I'd best see to my horse." Heading outside, he chuckled even as he walked toward the animal.

Emma frowned after him as the sounds of his laughter caught her attention. "What was that all about."

"Don't know." Walker said and picked up the wire that Buck had tossed down. Unfolding it he read it aloud. "Cross. Battle lines have been drawn and I'm holding all the cards. Stop. You want to win, come out and play. Stop. Anna. Stop."

"I'd say she got his attention."

"I hope it works. Those two need to really set down and talk about what they want." Glancing at his wife Walker smiled. "Maybe there will be a wedding soon that we can go to."

"If Anna has her way there will be." Emma laughed softly. "You'd best get William, he'll be waking soon."

"Yes dear."

Sitting at the table Buck watched Emma move around the room, her mind seemed to be on what she was doing and yet every once in a while he caught her looking at Walker the way he'd looked at Anna. Could they make it work? Or was he just setting himself up for disappointment in the end. Anna had never really been on her own, her father had watched over her for most of her life, when he wasn't it had been Ike or himself. Would she know how to deal with someone looking down on her because of his Indian blood.

"Would you quit worrying?" Walker said suddenly. "Anna, you'll find is a woman that few mess with. And those that do, never go back for a repeat performance."

"She is stubborn."

"And temperamental, self-important, arrogant.."

"Soft hearted, open minded, beautiful." Buck interrupted softly. "I don't know about this. It's more like something out of a dream and sooner or later I'm gonna wake up and find that I'm on the outside looking in again."

"Funny Anna said the same thing to me once. The day she left here, she asked me if it was possible to love two men at the same time. I told her of course, and she said the same thing you just said to me."

"Anna faces life, she doesn't mess with dreams and such." Buck shook his head slowly, "More like she does and I'm the one who doesn't."

"Now's as good a time to start as any." Emma spoke softly.

"Yeah." Pushing his empty plate away Buck watched her for a moment then smiled. "I should be mad at Ike but I'm not. I know what he did, and I know I fell into that little trap he set but for some reason I don't feel mad. I don't feel guilty either."

"Good." Walker declared. "Now then get some rest, you've got a long ride tomorrow."

"Longer perhaps than I want to face." Buck rose smoothly and headed for the guest room Emma had prepared. "Good night Emma, Walker. Thanks."

"No problem."

Laying in bed Buck felt a little apprehensive about closing his eyes, he didn't expect the nightmare he slept with most nights to be gone. Allowing himself to relax enough to fall asleep, he rolled over and curled into a familiar position, one he'd adopted lately in protection against the nightmare.

Waking slowly, he blinked at the tendrils of sunlight peaking through the curtains and sighed. The first night in years that he'd slept soundly, peacefully till dawn and he'd slept in. Rising he dressed quickly and headed for the barn, bypassing the kitchen to saddle up.

"Not going to have a coffee first?" Emma's soft voice drew his attention away from his mount.

"Nope. I've got a train to catch." Buck smiled at her. "And some bridges to rebuild."

"Good luck. Write us and let us know how things have gone. And don't let Anna push you around, she might be small but she's stubborn."

"Yes ma'am." Swinging into the saddle Buck trotted past Emma with only a brief smile and salute before urging his mount into a gallop and heading for town, and the train.

"Well that went well don't you think?" Walker asked as Emma walked into the house.

"Very well indeed." Emma smiled. "Never seen anyone so anxious to get away from himself before though."

"You never saw me the week before we were married. I was a mess."Walker declared and hurried to the nursery.

"Maybe that's a good thing." Emma whispered as her husband walked away to retrieve their son. "He doesn't know how much of a mess I was."

Anna sat on the front stoop and watched the two riders coming toward her. Recognizing Harold Thompson she tensed and wished that she had a gun. The other man had suddenly found a reason to come calling every day that she'd been at the ranch after he'd learned of her return. She knew he'd had high hopes that one day her father would grant them the right to be married but for her part, she'd hoped that day never came.

"I'd rather marry a rattlesnake." She told the dog that had shown up a week before and never left. When the dog barked softly she smiled down at him before hardening her expression and turning her attention back to the two men who were dismounting.

"Morning Anna." Harold's voice sent chills up her spine as he approached the steps.

"What do you want Mister Thompson?" Anna asked quickly, hoping he'd just go away.

"I've come to talk to you about your son." Harold smiled at her, hoping she would have the good sense not to go against him. Despite not talking to her father, he saw no reason why the old man wouldn't give them his blessing to wed, especially when she had a son that he would claim.

"I hardly think my son is any of your concern sir."

"He needs a man's influence. That boy's going to grow up to be a hell of a farmer if you keep this up. You know you don't belong here." Harold said moving up the porch steps to pause a few inches away from her.

"And you're trespassing sir. I don't recall inviting you onto my porch." Anna replied crossing her arms over her chest and let the anger simmer. "In fact I really don't think you should concern yourself with what happens to Isaac or myself."

"Why is that?"

"Because Hell hasn't froze over yet Mister Thompson." Anna replied smoothly, "And I haven't lost my mind. Isaac has all the male influence he can handle, and I sure as hell don't need a man around just for the sake of his pride."

"You're being unreasonable." Harold huffed.

"No sir, I'm being realistic. If I marry it will be for one reason and one reason only. I don't intend to marry someone I don't love, and who doesn't love me."

"Love is a fairytale notion.."

"Really? Funny from where I'm standing I'd have to say you're full of it sir. I've been in love for most of my adult life, and you know something the man I'm in love with is ten times the man you are."

"That freak you were so familiar with?" Harold barked. "The one who couldn't talk? He was a dummy with nothing going for him but the fact that he was a hard worker. I've got horses that work just as hard as he did but don't mean I'd want them around permanently."

"Ike was no dummy." Anna said slowly, softly. Her tone deadly, a thread going through it the other man didn't pick up on.

"I'm going to see your father tonight. I'm quite sure he'll understand my concerns, and I'm even surer that he'll give his blessing so if I were you I'd be getting ready for a wedding."

"I don't think so." Anna replied quickly, coldly. "You go see him. If he gives his blessings it'll be because you've lied to him, and when he finds out he'll hang you. Course that mean's you'll have to survive me first, and I guarantee you won't."

Harold's face turned red with fury and he moved quickly, pinning Anna to the wall with one beefy hand wrapped around her neck. "Don't get smart with me, you think I don't know what you did? Your son is as much a bastard as his father was. I won't take no for an answer.."

"I'm afraid you'll have to." Anna replied her words slurred from the pressure on her throat. "Because I'm already married to another man who's a lot better than you'll ever be." She gasped in a breath of air when he let her go then screamed when he hit her soundly knocking her down.

"Bull." Harold snapped and glanced at the woman slowly climbing to her feet. "I'll be by to pick you up day after tomorrow to drive into town and get married, you'd best be ready."

"Go to hell." Anna said and flinched when he hit her again, knocking her back to her knees. Rising to her feet she leaned heavily on the wall for a few seconds before smiling as she saw several riders coming up behind them.

Turning at the approaching horses Harold watched the man he feared more than anyone and smiled, "Keep your mouth shut or else." He hissed to Anna who moved away from him quickly.

"Harold, Martin." Allen said dismounting and tying his mount up. A quick glance at Anna's face had him swearing. "Anna what happened to you?"

"I don't know Allen just got here myself." Harold spoke quickly and glared at Anna when she stared at him coldly.

"Oh for crying out loud." Anna snapped and glanced between her father and the man on her stoop. "Harold hit me."

"Why?" Allen's tone was deadly.

"Because I told him I wouldn't marry him if my life depended on it." Anna replied quickly, stepping onto the ground as Harold shifted toward her. "I'm not some commodity that can be bought or sold, I'll choose the man I marry when I get ready to."

"Of course you will." Allen stared at her battered face for a split second. "Where's Isaac?"

"Inside, asleep."

"George, go get the boy." He ordered and stared at a nervous Harold Thompson. When George returned with the sleeping boy, he glanced at the little guy and smiled warmly.

"Where do you want me to take him?" George asked softly.

"Take him and Anna into town to see the Doctor. Get him to check out those cuts." Allen declared and smiled at Anna softly. "Go on now girl. I'll send for you after a bit."

"Pa don't do something you'll regret."Anna whispered. "He is your friend."

"Friend's don't beat on my children when they turn them down." Allen replied softly and reached out a hand to touch the split lip that colored Anna's face. "Go on with you."

With a final nod Anna glanced at Harold and swung up behind one of the hands her father had brought with him. Relaxing she quickly learned the feel of the horse under her and held on lightly to the man in front of her until they pulled up at the doctor's office.

"George why don't you and Isaac go down and see Missus Dunne, she'd be happy to serve you breakfast I'm sure." Anna asked softly ducking her head as much as possible to hide the bruises from her son.

"‘Kay Momma." The little boy drug his uncle off without a second glance at his mother.

Watching them for a moment Anna shrugged and entered the doctor's office where the Marshall, Teaspoon Hunter sat talking to the doctor.

"Morning sir." Anna said. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

"Not at all Miss McSwain. What can I do for you today?" The doctor asked rising to his feet and turning to face the young woman. He glanced at Teaspoon who'd frowned as he addressed the young woman but held his tongue while the doctor when to work.

"Pa wanted you to see to these small cuts."Anna said quietly. "There was a bit of a tussle out at my place and I'm afraid I got the worst of it."

"Certainly." Doc Patterson, an aging balding little man with a perpetual grin on his face ushered the young woman into a chair and pushed her hair out of the way. Hiding his grimace at the mottled blue and purple marks coming out on her face, he quickly went to work putting antiseptic on them until he had all the cuts treated.

"Is the man that did that still out at your place?" Teaspoon asked noting the way the woman sat quietly for the treatment. His attention had been caught when the doctor had revealed the massive bruises that covered the woman's face.

"No." Anna sighed. "Pa came by and took him. Unless you want to tangle with Allen Tayler, I suggest you let him drag his butt into town."

"There you are Miss McSwain." With a fatherly smile the doctor offered her a hand up.

"How much do I owe you?"Anna asked softly, she wanted to cry although she didn't think she'd get a chance to do that until much later.

"Nothing. You bring that boy of yours by for a treat one of these days then we'll call it square."

Smiling Anna nodded. "I'll be sure to do that." Bidding him a quick goodbye she stepped toward the door and out onto the sidewalk, followed quickly by the Marshall.

"Miss McSwain?"

"Yes sir?" Turning to him she ignored the two ranch hands who stood awaiting an order.

"Would you accompany me to my office? I'd like to speak to you."

"Certainly." Anna felt an uneasy sensation take over her stomach, tying it into knots and making her slightly ill. Following him she nodded to the riders who merely shifted stance and turned back to their conversation. Stepping into the jail Anna glanced around, one of the boys from the station sat behind the desk a badge pinned to his chest.

"Morning Teaspoon." Jimmy barely glanced at the other man before turning his attention back to the letter in his hand. "This mean I can go get some sleep?"

"Nope." Teaspoon snapped pushing Jimmy's feet off the desk and taking a seat. "Have a seat ma'am."

"I'd rather stand." Anna said quietly. "What can I do for you?"

"Did your husband hit you?"

Anna stared at him for a moment then shook her head. "Why is everyone trying to marry me off? I am not, repeat NOT married."

"Alright. Then who hit you?" Teaspoon said offering a cup of coffee and having it pushed aside didn't really faze him. There was something going on here and he wanted to know what it was. "And don't say you've walked into something."

"Harold Thompson." Anna replied rubbing her forehead. "He was an old friend of my father's."

"Was?"

"Allen Tayler doesn't tolerate anyone abusing his kids." Anna shrugged, pushing aside the thought that he hadn't minded when he did it with the only too familiar feeling of anxiety.

"I thought you said your name was McSwain?" Teaspoon pounced on the sudden change in names. "Why is your father's name different if you're not married? Are you a widow?"

"No I'm not a widow. Have never in fact been married." Anna replied quietly, tiredly. Looked like explanation time. "I changed my name when I went to Missouri. A woman alone, with a child on the way is pretty much an easy target. As long as folks think I'm married they leave me alone."

"Where'd you get the name McSwain?" Jimmy demanded his interest in the letter from some nameless city forgotten. Something told him he was about to learn why he should know this woman and it would prove more interesting than the letter he was reading.

"From Ike." Anna replied sinking into a chair. "I took it after he was killed."

"Why?" Teaspoon asked settling on the edge of the desk, one booted foot dangling.

"I already told you, it's safer.."

"No why Ike's last name? Why not Jones or Smith or something?" Teaspoon waved away her confusion.

"Because Isaac needed his father's name." The familiar voice had everyone turning to see the tall man standing in the open doorway, his hat perched on his head.

"BUCK!" Rising Anna hurried toward him, unmindful of the bruises. "Did you come by my place?"

"No. What happened to your face?" Buck asked tilting her face to the light.

"I had a run in with Thompson."

"Where is he?"

"Pappa's got him." Anna replied. "And Pa's really mad to. I should go check it out."

"You see Doc Patterson yet?" Buck frowned at the ugly bruises.

"Just came from there." Anna replied with a slight frown. "He put some cream on the cuts and let me go. Which way did you come?"

"Would you quit worrying about your Pa? He's a big man, he can handle Thompson without your interference."

"Pa's got two men with him."

"The two men standing in front of Doc's office?"

"No. George and them two brought Isaac and I into town."

"Isaac was hurt?" Buck felt a moment's apprehension until Anna shook her head and opened her mouth to deny it when Teaspoon interrupted their conversation.

"Uh excuse me." Teaspoon waved slightly. "Back to the conversation at hand. You know her Buck?"

"Yeah this is Anna McSwain." Buck replied. "She used to run Tayler Station."

"Someone want to tell me why in hell you think her son is Ike's?"

"Because he is." Anna shrugged. "I knew Ike for ages, when he was killed I'd only just found out that I was pregnant."

"Okay the pregnant part I get, I can even understand saying you're married to protect yourself. But saying Ike was the father is a bit much don't you think?" Jimmy said immovable as he stared at the woman.

"You didn't know?" Anna glanced at Buck.

"Ike only mentioned you in passing. Knowing our habit of twisting and teasing he probably figured it was best." Buck explained quietly realizing that she didn't know anything about his journal entries about her.

Anna stared at him blankly, her expression one of mixed horror, embarrassment, and pain. "I imagine he would." She whispered softly and glanced down. "If you'll excuse me, you can fill them in on anything they want to know."

"Where are you going?"

"To get Isaac, then go home."

"Anna, Isaac's probably having fun with Rachel, why don't I take you home then you can rest." Buck volunteered. "I'll bring Isaac out later."

"I'm not going to stay at the farm." Anna replied quietly. "I'm going to the ranch." Stepping past him she grabbed his horse and swung into the saddle. A swift kick had the mare sprinting out of town, headed toward the farm.

"You knew about this?" Teaspoon asked Buck who stood staring after the young woman with a frown marring his features.

"Yes." Buck glanced back at him. "Ike asked me to watch out for her after he was killed."

"That's why you went to Missouri?" Jimmy asked slowly as realization dawned. "That's how Ike knew where we were that day. He'd been over that route so many times that he knew it blindfolded."

"He probably knew it better than the company. He knew every shortcut, ever turn, like the back of his hand. Otherwise he'd never have managed to keep to schedule." Buck explained quickly. "And unless I'm mistaken, Anna knew those trails to. She'd have had to. Tayler Station sits right smack dab in the middle of a crossroad. For her to have a mount ready for him, she'd have had to have been over those trails at least once."

"Still don't answer my question." Teaspoon pointed out. "How can you accept the fact that Ike's the father."

"First I know Anna, she's not exactly given to a swinging door. If there's someone in her bed then he's there for the long haul." Buck replied quickly, anger flashing in his eyes. "And second. Anna might be rebellious, head-strong, and stubborn but she's never done anything without thinking about it. She knew the risks of becoming involved with Ike and didn't care. Anna's another Lou. You gonna doubt her, you might as well call everyone a liar."

"Okay so maybe she is telling the truth. That means that she's kept that boy to herself for years without telling anyone." Teaspoon frowned at the thought. "I'd have loved to see him when he was a baby."

"He's no different." Buck shrugged with a half-hearted grin. "He's just as quiet, self-aware now as he was the night he was born."

"How would you know?" Jimmy snapped.

"Because I delivered him." Buck replied absently before turning to face Teaspoon. "Can I borrow your horse Teaspoon, mine just got stolen."

"Sure. I can always get another from the stable."

With an appreciative smile Buck headed outside and swung agilely into the saddle. Turning his mount west he nudged him into a gallop and headed to catch up with Anna. Pushing the gelding he raced into the yard and pulled up. A glance around revealed three dark bay horses, a dun, a roan and his grey.

"Some ranch." Buck muttered and headed for the house, ignoring for the most part the noises coming from the barn. Stepping inside he glanced around, the house was small, only three rooms with a loft but it was clean, and oddly felt like home. "Anna?" He called.

"What?" Anna's quiet voice drew him to the back of the cabin where a bed sat. Anna lay stretched out on it, her back to him, tension coiled within her until she lay stiffly.

"He loved you."

"Sure he did." Anna whispered. "So much that he didn't bother to tell his friends and family that he had a girl."

"When did Ike ever tell anyone anything that would give them something to tease him about?" Buck suddenly wished his friend had been a little more open to everyone.

"You were right all along." Anna said without looking at him. "I never thought I'd say this but what man in his right mind would want to be with me? Even Ike didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I was merely an afterthought."

"No." Buck set down next to her on the bed. "You were never an after thought to him. Ike loved you. He loved you enough that he didn't want to risk losing you because the company found out you were a woman. He loved you enough that it meant more to him that you be happy than his own happiness and you know that. Ike wanted you in his life."

"Ha you mean his bed." Anna replied woodenly, any trace of emotion gone from her voice. "I never once thought that he would do something like this. I thought he really did care.."

Sighing Buck shook his head, "He did Anna."

"You couldn't prove it by me." Anna replied cynically.

"He wanted you to have what he could never give you. If he hadn't do you think he would have asked his best friend to watch over you? Do you think he would have given everything he had? I know he wouldn't have. He didn't know you were pregnant, and yet he still wanted someone to be there for you. I'd say that shows he loved you."

"If he did then why was he so embarrassed about me?" Anna faced Buck. "Huh? Why didn't he bother to say to anyone that I even existed? Everyone in my life knew about him, why didn't everyone in his life know about me?"

"Because Ike wanted you to himself. He didn't want the questions, the comments that he knew would come up. All he wanted was the happiness he'd found with you. You said it yourself, he knew he didn't have a long time on this earth. He lived in the here and now, not the tomorrow."

"It still hurts." Anna whispered. "I've fought so hard to be something I'm not. I never wanted anyone to think that I didn't know my own mind. And now, instead of finding out that I was as big a part of his life as he was in mine, I was merely.."

"A woman he loved enough to protect." Buck whispered brushing a stray tear from her face. "Don't hate him for it." Sighing he moved to where he'd tossed his saddle bag and withdrew the journal he'd kept. The pages were worn and crinkled from reading them over and over again but they were still legible. "Here. Read it. It's Ike's journal. The last half is about you, from the time he met you to the day he died. Ike loved you a lot Annie, he just knew that he didn't have a whole lot of time to give you."

Taking the book Anna sat up and opened it, skimming the pages she read it through, blushing at certain points, smiling tearfully at other times. "I wanted to be hate him Buck, I wanted to be able to say look at me, you didn't care about me I don't care about you. I want to just be mad at him only thing is I can't because I know how his mind worked. I know Ike wouldn't have wanted me to feel like that, he wants me to be happy, loved but still. Why couldn't he have said something about me?" Anna sniffed. "Why couldn't I fall in love with someone else?"

"I don't know." Buck replied softly, the faint hope that she'd come to care for him fading before he'd really let it get too big. "I'm sure in time you'll find someone.."

"Oh shut up." Anna snapped through her tears. "That has nothing to do with this. Its funny really, you should be laughing at it. I keep falling for men who want nothing from me. Who only want to protect me. Isn't that a hoot?"

"No." Buck shook his head. "You're wrong. Ike wanted something from you. He wanted forever."

"Yeah well he's dead and I'm not!" Anna replied glancing away from Buck. "And I wish I was. If I was then I wouldn't have to hurt all over again."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you hurt all over again?" Buck asked. "You're young, beautiful, you've got everything going for you."

Anna turned to look at him. Maybe Emma was right, maybe she needed to lay it all on the line. "Why don't you ever touch me?" She demanded instead of answering his question.

"What?"

"You never touch me. Do you dislike me that much that you can't stand.."

"No." Buck rose suddenly and paced to the window to stare outside. "That has nothing to do with it."

"Then what does?"

"I can't touch you."

"Why not?"

"Because." Buck sighed and rested his forehead against the cold window pane. "Can't we just leave it be?"

"No. I have a right to know. I want to know why you can't stand to touch me? Is it because I'm that dirty to you?"

"No!" Buck snapped whirling to face her, fury in his eyes along with something else that came close to a glimpse of hell. "I can't touch you because one touch wouldn't be enough Anna. A whole lifetime of touches wouldn't be enough." Lowering his voice he moved over to where she'd sat, pulling her legs up under her. "I know that, I have to deal with that fact. I value you too much as a friend to risk.."

"Your heart?" Anna whispered softly.

"My sanity." Buck replied. "I fell for you a long time ago."

"When?"

"Before I left Missouri."

"But if you felt that way about me then why?"

"I went there to help Ike out. I'd promised to watch over you, and instead I fall in love with his girl. I couldn't face you, hell I could barely face myself. I went there to give you a hand, push you into living again then I was going to walk away. Let go of the past, move on. Only it didn't work out that way. The more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to spend, so I left."

"But you should've told me."

"Neither of us were ready to deal with that yet. Look at us Anna, we know each other so well and yet we never speak of that which we should have." Buck shrugged, "I know Ike was the only man in your life but can you honestly tell me you weren't tempted by anyone else?"

"No I can't. Because I am tempted by someone else. I'm tempted by you." Anna whispered. "I never wanted to feel this way about anyone, least of all you. You're Ike's best friend, I realize that caring about you puts you in an awkward position."

"No my own guilt did that." Buck glanced at her then back at the window. "So where do we go from here?"

"I don't know. Just take it one day at a time I guess." Anna replied hearing footsteps she glanced up at the shadow that fell on the bed. "What you want Pa?"

"The boys and I are heading for the ranch. You gonna be okay?" He asked seeing the handsome young man sitting next to her he felt a little uneasy.

"I'll be fine. Buck's never let me down before." Anna replied swiftly, her tone assured.

"Alright. I've sent word for George to stay behind. He'll bring Isaac back around supper time. I'll expect you back at the ranch in a few days."

"What about Thompson?" Buck asked. "You should take him into town. Marshall Hunter's anxious to talk to him."

"Ain't nothing to say." Allen shrugged. "He done wrong, he knows it. Besides he ain't going to be of much value to your Marshall." Turning on one heel Allen headed back outside, his thoughts on the relaxed way Anna accepted the half-blood's presence.

"Bring Thompson and his foreman." Allen instructed the two hands he'd kept with him for their little talk to the other men. "It's best to get along home. Anna needs her rest."

"What about that Indian?"

"What about him?" Allen said swinging into the saddle. "You've got your instructions, best carry ‘em out."

Shaking their heads in unison the two cow-punchers tied a badly beaten Thompson to his saddle along with his foreman and fell into step behind their boss. A swift glance over their shoulder revealed the young man they'd spoken of standing in the doorway, looking like he wasn't going to move, or be moved.

"Something tells me she's gonna be a little late getting to the ranch for Sunday dinner."

Smiling at the thought Allen shrugged, "Good. Means that we can get some work done for once."

Buck watched Allen Tayler leave with mixed emotions. He'd never met the man, and yet he had sensed a control rage within the man, a need to be in control had circled around him like thunder. "He's trying."

"I know." Buck glanced at her. "I should head back into town. By now the boys have all heard about your little run in with Thompson, not to mention who you are and are dying to come out." Buck smiled slightly. "Don't let them ride herd on you."

"When have I ever let anyone ride herd on me?" Anna asked crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. "Other than you of course."

"That's my girl. I'll see you at first light, that north wall looks like it could use a little work." Buck said hopping onto Teaspoon's horse and lifting the reins of his grey. "You need anything from town?"

"Nope." Anna said. "I think I've got everything." Waving at him she watched him ride out without looking back. Despite what happened in life, she'd been blessed. Firstly with a man who'd loved her for a short time, but he'd loved her enough to give her the blessing she called a son, and secondly by his best friend, a man who given time would let his emotional mask fade until they could be together.

"Well Anna my girl, looks like you've got some work to do." She told herself with a glance behind her. "That north wall is just as strong as it ever was, but if he wants to fix it then we'll fix it."

Smiling for the first time in ages, she glanced around, taking a deep breathe and sighed. Tilting her chin up to the warmth of the spring sun she laughed softly. Ike had given her many things, a sense of belonging, acceptance, even passion. But it was what he'd given her without intending to that warmed her heart.