Chapter Four: Q & A

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“Are you going to sulk all night?” Leo snapped in annoyance. He was sitting across from his guest at the dinner table, watching her push the food around her plate. She couldn't still be pissed about him sending her back to her room, could she?

“I might.” Bel snapped back, raising her attention from her plate to glower at him through her lashes. “Can you be killed?” She asked out of nowhere.

“What?” He stared at her, perplexed. “What kind of question is that?!” He demanded. She shrugged casually and dropped her hands to her lap to fidget with the long, baggy, and completely unflattering shirt she'd changed into.

“Its a perfectly normal question, I think.” She answered and smiled innocently enough. He studied her, trying to figure out this new game. “You've obviously been here a while, so you won't die from old age...can you die from...oh say, an extra hole in the head?” The look in her eyes was creeping him out. He tried staring her down.

“That does not concern you.” He told her as firmly as possible. She leaned forward a bit.

“Are you sure? I think that if I'm living here, its my right to know what would happen if you, oh, say, fell off a horse onto a very sharp stick? Would I be stuck here forever with a dead host, or would you recover? Its a valid concern.” He frowned at her.

“Are you planning to knock me off a horse and stab me?” He asked her plainly. She shrugged and smiled again.

“Maybe, you never know when such opportunities might present themselves...” He rolled his eyes. His “guests” had tried to fight him before. The funniest thing he'd ever seen was a young waifish, blond princess trying to beat him to death with her hand held fan.

“I assure you, milady, that I never fall off of horses and that you would never get close enough to knife me even if you could find something sharper than a bread knife.” He sniffed haughtily and rose from his seat, she scrambled to her feet as well, wary of sudden room changes. As expected, the room changed to his study.

Leo gestured to his bookshelves, “Choose a book to read, you'll get little else for entertainment around here.”

“What? No Chippendale's dancers?” She cracked, playing disappointed as she fidgeted her skirt to ensure that her gun was concealed. Honestly, I should have left the gun at the room, and ordered a new one as necessary... She sighed at her own stupidity.

“Dancers?” Leo stared at her, the reference lost on him. I swear, he's like a prim little old church woman. She started inspecting the book titles, with half a mind still devoted to annoying him.

“Yeah, Dancers...Strippers. Men who take their clothing off and dance for an audience...” His gasp of shock/outrage made her snicker. “I guess that means you won't be stripping for me?” She grabbed a book off a shelf and purposefully curled up in what was his preferred chair, and sat a moment, listening to him sputter.

“I swear, I should send you to your room this moment. Spending time with an uncouth...harlet such as you can hardly result in anything positive....it is likely you would only exacerbate my curse rather than lift it!” Bel grinned at him.

“Uncouth? Exacerbate? You'd use all this fancy language on li'l ol' me? I feel positively special.” He snorted and snagged his own book, moving to lie on the rug in front of the fire like the overgrown cat he was. She watched him curiously, the gun forgotten for the moment. He was a typical pig of a man one moment, the next he was an exotic creature stretched out in the firelight with a book. Her sci-fi/fantasy obsessed mind was fascinated. He was like a creature from a Lisanne Norman novel.

“Can you purr?” She asked without meaning too. He looked over his shoulder at her, surprised at the peaceful sounding question.

“Hmm?” She put the book she held aside and focused on him, resolving to put her stupid curiosity to rest.

“Can you purr? Like cats do when they're happy?” He blinked for a moment, caught off guard, then seemed to think about it.

“I do not know. I've never thought about it much.” He shrugged absently. “What does a man under a curse have to be happy about?” Bel thought about that for a moment.

“You never have to worry about family visiting unannounced?” She offered with a smile. “You can't be robbed? Oh! You don't have to worry about staying in fashion because, hey, you're in enchanted castle land. You can wear whatever you want!” He watched in fascination as she warmed to her subject. “Oh! Oh! You don't have to pay taxes! Or get a job and be bossed around by some stupid little slime-wad with no hair that likes to grab your ass when you're cleaning up after his mess that he made by dropping his lunch because he was too busy staring down your shirt to pay attention to little things like basic motor functions!!” She panted to regain her breath and he stared in awed confusion at her outburst. “Sorry...I have issues.” She waved it off.

He started laughing and she shrugged, smiling ruefully. “You are quite mad.” He informed her. She smirked and watched him laugh.

“Do you have to sharpen your nails on a scratching post?” She asked a moment later when he'd settled. He stared at her. “What? I'm curious! I don't meet big furry cat men every day! And believe me, I'm asking the tame questions here... I could be asking about your physiology.” He frowned.

“How would that be less tame?” He asked, expecting questions about what he ate or how his muscles were different, which were a tad unladylike, but not completely unfathomable.

“Well I could be asking if your fur covers everything...” He sputtered. “But that'd hardly be appropriate behavior for such a sweet innocent captive such as I.” She finished smugly.

“Innocent? I have underclothes more innocent than you.” He responded with a snort. She clasped her bosom in classic shocked posture.

“You wound me with your words! Watch as I die from the pain.” She swooned dramatically in the chair and he ignored her, going back to his book. After a few moments of silence she spoke again. “So does it cover everything?” She yelped as she fell on her ass in her room. “Owwwwwwww.” She whined and crawled up onto her bed. “I was just joking, you ninny!” She sighed and took the gun out from where it'd been tucked in her waistband under her baggy shirt.

She'd been ready to use it before, at dinner, for about a minute. Then she realized that she couldn't. She couldn't kill a man, no matter how obnoxious and fuzzy. She stared at it. Maybe I could just wound him? Knock him out or something? But what would that accomplish? She lied back on her bed and sighed. I'll have to wait and see. Maybe an opportunity will present itself. She yawned. Or maybe he'll annoy me enough that I won't have any choice but to murder him.

~~~~~~

Wow....I updated....

Why? What would make me break my year-long silence to update once more? The demands of a Toker person who reviewed me and made demands....Ha! You didn't even think I'd read it! But I did and here you go, you inspirational person! (funny how being yelled at inspires me)