(written by Michelle) Once inside her bedroom, Jess realized that sleep was not going to come easy tonight. There was so much stuff going on inside her head, that it wouldn't allow her to sleep. Picking up her inflatable chair, green of course, and her journal, Jess walked out onto her rickety old balcony. The full moon hung high in the sky as Jess flopped down onto her favorite chair. From her vintage point, she could see Jade casually swinging with the breeze in her hammock; and she could also see Nick and Brian playing Nintendo in his room---or so she guessed.
Those two seemed to be as close as she and Jade were, but without all of the problems they had. Jess let out a troubled sigh as she opened her journal to write about her problems. Jess wrote about how guilty she felt for unloading all of her problems unto Jade, especially since she knew how fragile Jade really was. Jade put on a tough act, but she melted like M&M's in the hot sun. But since that summer, she had built up these walls around her, closing off everyone except Jess. The only reason Jess had been allowed behind these defense was because she had helped to construct them. Jess shivered as the air began to turn cooler. Remembering that Jade had borrowed her sweater the night before, Jess retreated into Jade's room to find it.
Jade's room was a mess, but what else was new?? Usually she was a neat freak, but lately Jess noticed that Jade was becoming somewhat of a pig, leading Jess to become suspicious of her friend. Jess looked in Jade's closet, her bureau, and her dresser before concluding that the sweater wasn't anywhere to be found. Jess began to walk out the door when the notion that maybe Jade was hiding it in her nightstand drawer crept into her head.
Heading straight for it, Jess opened the top drawer to find a notepad and a box of condoms. Just like Jade, Jess thought to herself. The second drawer was empty except for a picture of Jade and her old boyfriend. Jess couldn't remember his name, maybe because he had caused so much pain in Jade's life that she chose to forget it. Jess rubbed the goosebumps on her arms as she shut the drawer and decided to steal one of Jade's sweatshirts. The balcony creaked as Jess resumed her spot. This time when she looked at Nick's house, the room that he and Brian had been in earlier was dark. Looking down to see if Jade was still swinging, she noticed that Nick and Brian had joined her down in their backyard. Fresh tears threatened to fall from Jess's eyes as she watched Nick flirt with Jade.
Concentrating hard on her journal writing, Jess's pen began to move swiftly, working hard to convey all of her thoughts onto the single piece of paper. When she was finished, the tears had vanished and so did her feelings of insecurity, for the moment. She thought about calling Eric, but that thought quickly disapatated as she lost the ambition to move from her little place in the world. She wanted nothing more than to stay on her little balcony, outside of her little room in the house that she and Jade shared, far away from their problems and fears.
She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes to the soundsof Jade's laughter nibbling at her ears. She was at total peace with herself when a voice interrupted her thoughts, "Are you cold?" Jess turned to see Brian standing in the entranceway to her balcony. "Not really, just thinking." she answered. "Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, stepping cautiously out onto the balcony. He took a seat on the metal cage that was holding the two of them up."You don't have enough pennies," Jess answered, looking down at Jade, who was being chased by Nick.
Brian reached out and touched her hand to get her attention, causing her to jump slightly at his touch. "Sorry," he said, returning his hand back to his lap. "It's ok." "I bet I do have enough pennies. Why don't you try me out? The fellas sayI'm a good listener and I'm willing to prove it to you, if you'll let me." He met her eyes with his owns, and for a second she allowed him to see all of the pain in them, but she quickly put her guard back up. "Maybe another time, it's getting pretty late."
He sensed her leaving him, and he tried desperately to cling to her. She was so mysterious, he needed to know more about her. He knew this from her performance the other night.When she returned from putting Jade to bed, she was different somehow, like she was willing to share something with them. The other guys hadn't noticed it, but he had. He had tasted that side of her and now he was demanding more. "Wait, don't go. I just want to talk, we can talk about anything you want to, just stay here with me," every part of him pleaded with her; he needed this girl and he didn't know why. Jess watched as he spoke to her, even in the dark she could see his blue eyes begging; she couldn't resist, so she sat back down.
"What would you like to talk about?" she asked. He was silent for a moment, trying to find the best way to approach the subject he longed to get to, he spoke when he realized the only way he knew how to, with humour.
"Do you like pink elephants?"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you like pink elephants?"
"I don't think that I've ever seen one."
"I'll have to show you one then. Nick keeps one in his backyard, he calls him Fluffy, it was a birthday present." Brian watched carefully as Jess smiled and then began to laugh; it had worked, he had done the first part of his job.
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