Monday, 13-Apr-98 13:15:26

      Message:
      199.238.253.11 writes:

      Somebody once told me that a donkey could jump a 6 foot tall fence.
      I have heard that you are an expert in these matters so could you
      give any creditability to this obvious exaduration??

      Jeffrey M Donkeezhavnodix


Dear Mr. Don'tknowyourasses;

     Thank you for your inquiry.  Your realization that I am an exemplar
of knowledge, in nearly every aspect of life, may be your only saving
grace.
     I think that what you are referring to is a jumping mule, as
opposed to a jumping donkey.  Since you are obviously as thick as
a whale omelet, I'll start with a rudimentary, grossly simplified  lesson
in animal husbandry:
     A mule is a cross between a jackass (donkey) and a horse.  Due to the
disparity in the size of the offspring and orifices of the two animals, a
jack is usually bred to a mare, as opposed to a stud being bred to a jenny.
The resulting offspring is what is known as a "mule".  Being true to the
nature of most cross-bred animals (the beefallo, jackalope and the
duck-billed orangutan to name a few), it is sterile.  This is not saying
that it doesn't have sexual organs.  To put it delicately, let's say that
it has the rifle, just no powder behind the ball.
The mule is the preferred mode of equine transportation for coon hunters.
If, however, a donkey is your only option, I suggest you get off your ass
and walk!!
     Remember, if it weren't for stupid people, we'd have no basis for
comparison.

                                Thanks,  The Answer Man