WHAT GOES ON... edit ...here in your mind. I think that I am falling down. What goes on here in your mind. I think that I am upside down. -Lou Reed last modified May 20, 2003, 11:06 Post an entry Thursday, May 22, 2003 How in the world are they makin' that sound... Velvet Underground edit Ok, yes i'm bored as all hell tonight and i'm going to be doing quite a bit of bullshit here tonight, you've been warned. I'm also in a VU mood. :) --I just felt like getting out some of my favorite Lou Reed words. Bare with me here folks, it's great stuff!! "I've got a hole in my heart the size of a truck. It won't be filled by a one-night fuck. Ain't it just my luck." -Like A Possum "I met a new me at 8am. The other one got lost. This was not a trade in. Although I wouldn't believe the cost. I woke up crying as we said goodbye, me and my old self. Each day he vanished more and more. As I became someone else. He was actually murdered. I had taken him apart. But when I put him back together, I couldn't find his heart." -Trade In "First came fire then came light then came feeling then came sight." -Finish Line "It's all down hill after the first kiss." -Modern Dance "The Rally Man's patter ran on through the dawn until we said so long... to his skull.. shrill yell." -Black Angel's Death Song "Cut mouth bleeding razors forget in the pain antiseptic remains coo goodbye..." -Black Angel's Death Song "I Chi-chi Chi chi I Chi chi chi Ka-Ta-Ko Choose to choose Choose to choose Choose to go." -Black Angel's Death Song "Sick upon the staricase sick upon the carpet blood upon the pilow climb into the parapet see the church bells gleaming knife that scrapes a sick plate dentures full of air holes the tailor couldn't mend straight shoot her full of air holes climbing up the casket take me to the casket teeth upon her red throat screw me in the daisies rip apart her holler snip the seas fantastic treat her like a sailor full and free and nervous out to make his fortune either this or that way sickly or in god health piss upon a building like a dog in training teach to heel or holler yodel on a sing song down upon the carpet" -The Murder Mystery "You see her walking down the street. Look at all your friends that she's gonna meet. You'd better hit her." -There She Goes Again "How do you think if feels... and when do you think it stops?" -How Do You Think It Feels "When you're lookin' through the eyes of hate." -How Do You Think It Feels "Stephanie Says that she wants to know why she's give half her life to people she hates now." -Stephanie Says "I never would have started if i'd known that it'd end this way. But funny thing, i'm not at all sa that it stopped this way." -The Bed You're "Some Kinda Love!" You're definitely weird; but that's not always a bad thing. Okay, you might very well have a sick and twisted mind, but like the song, you're not afraid to address disturbing issues that others shy away from. Controversial and unconventional, you tend to alienate most people, but those people aren't worth your time anyway. You'll end up better than them in the end. -- Become The Velvet Underground. -- brought to you by Quizilla A sexy sexy song. Cool. :) You're a fan of ALL the Velvets! You appreciate the contribution that every member of the Velvet Underground made to the band, and try not to take sides between Cale/Reed. You well-balanced person you! What kind of Velvet Underground fan are you? brought to you by Quizilla yep, that's me... well-balanced. Yeah, right. I was one question away from being a total and complete Lou fan but, well, I just love Moe and Sterl so much. Heh. You are Bettie in bondage. Kinky. Which Bettie Page Are You?(with pictures) brought to you by Quizilla So that was totally random but fun anyway. Meeeyowza!! 67261 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 20:30 | Comments [0] Jack White III edit I stumbled upon this and I couldn't resist. And of course I didn't cheat. C'mon! Well well well...either you cheated, you're me, or you know Jack pretty darn well. Good for you, my friend! But, if you come anywhere near my sex god, I will kill you. Have a nice day now. How well do you know the elusive Jack White of the White Stripes? brought to you by Quizilla 67251 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 20:00 | Comments [0] Bored? 521 Q's and A's edit 1. Full name: Rayna Ruth ------ 2. Birthday: 07.26.76 3. Location: Lawrence, Ks. 4. Where else have you lived: no where 5. School: nope 6. Zodiac sign: Leo 8. Height: 4''11 9. Ethnicity: Native American 10. Pets: 2 cats. Sid and Bailey 11. Siblings: that I know of... all younger than me 1/2 brother Jacob 1/2 sister sarah 1/2 brother sammy jr 1/2 sister samantha 1/2 sister who's name slips my mind and another 1/2 brother who's name also slips my mind. There are probably tons more considering my father likes to "get around". Ew. 13. Hair color: today, black with generous subtle black cherry red streaks 14. Hair length: long 15. Ever dyed you hair?: yes, obviously 16. What color?: black, red, blonde, white blonde, blue/black, purple 19. Hobbies: music, movies, internet junk, books... the usual 20. Nicknames: rown, rowna, stupid, and at one time in my life or another, poopsie doopsie y-poopsie(my father) baby duck & poose(Nana) 21. What languages do you speak? English 22. Do you play sports? Hahahahahahaha... no 23. Where were you born? Tuscon, AZ 24. Are you a night or a morning person? night 25. Are you ticklish? ohhh yeah 26. Do you believe in god? yeah 30. Do you have glasses/ contacts?: no -getting personal - 31. What do you want to be when you grow up?: I'm not sure yet 32. What was the worst day of your life? the day my Nana died 33. What is your most embarrassing story? God, there's too many to tell. I know that's a lame answer but well, deal with it. 34. What has been the best day of your life?: the day my son was born 35. What comes first in your life? My family 36. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? yes/no/yes 37. What are you most scared of? my loved ones dying and spiders 39. What do you usually think about before you go to bed? Depends on my mood or the events of that day. But usually my thoughts before bed wonder tward the molestation of Jack White by me :) 40. What do you regret the most? You got about a year? Nah, probably the way I acted from the age of 10-17 and the hell I put my Nana through with my behavior 41. If you could be anything without consequences, what would you be? Eh? - favorites - 42. Movie: for a short list, see here 43. Song: Can anyone who loves music as much as I do actually pick a favorite song? Such a boring question 44. Band/group: same as above 46. Relative: I don't really have any, that I know anyway 47. Sport: nope 48. Vacation spot: what the hell is a vacation? 53. Class: n/a 64. Actress: that's a toughie, I really like Angelina Jolie. She's a wonderful actress but there are quite a few that I love so I don't know 65. Actor: same as above except harder, i'm really into Michael Pitt right now but how can I pick? Anyone from Ewan McGregor to De Nerio. Johnny Depp to Willem Defoe. It's really hard 86. Place to be: in my bed 93. Book: Hmmm I don't know, I'd have to really think about that one. Probably Junkie by Burroughs - not so favorite - 101. Class: n/a 104. Season: summer 105. Month: June 116. Drink: anything alcoholic 117. Band: it would be easier to do a genre type thing here, so "nu-metal, pop punk, rap, top 40 shit 140. Place to be: any place it's hot 148. Vacation spot: again... va-ca-tion?? - in the past 24 hours have you - 152. Had a serious talk? yeah with Paul 153. Hugged someone? yep lots of people 154. Fought with a friend? nope 155. Cried? much to my surprise... no 156. Laughed? ohhh yeah 157. Made someone laugh? hehe yep I like to make weird faces to make Shannon laugh 158. Bought something? yep liquor 159. Cut your hair? yep trimmed my bangs 160. Felt stupid? yep remembering last night 161 Talked to someone you love? yep Brian and my son 162. Missed someone? yeah my dad - have you ever - 163. Done drugs? gee let me think... YES 165. Been dumped? yep and how! 166. Had someone be unfaithful to you? yep just about every boyfriend i've ever had including Brian 168. Hiked a mountain? not that I recall, I might have in girl scouts or something, I don't remember 169. Stayed home on Saturday night, just because you felt like it? uh, yeah 170. Been in love? ohhhh yeah 171. Seen the white house? yep 172. Seen the Eiffel tower? nope 173. Tried smoking? "tried"? hehe yeah 174. Drank alcohol: boy have I 175. Smoked marijuana? yep 178. Seen titanic? yep 3 times in the theater and then Nana bought it for Creighton because it was his favorite movie (at age 3!!) 179. Kissed someone? yep 180. French kissed someone? oh hee hee not me, i'm not that kind of girl! 181. Lost your virginity? ask my son... no wait don't do that he doesn't know what that means 184. Visited another country? you know what? I haven't 190. Been in a car accident? yep 196. Broken a bone? nope 197. Called a psychic or sex hotline? yep and yep 201. Been in the hospital(not visiting)? yep yep yep 203. Dumped someone and regretted it? nope, dumped by no regrets 204. Went out with more than one person at a time? unfortunately 205. Lied? yes 206. Been arrested? yep 4 or 5 times 207. Fallen asleep in class? yeah 208. Used food for something other than to eat? yeah, art! 209. Met a celebrity? yep if you consider the Bosstones "celebrities" and I almost met Keanu Reeves but Shannon scared him off hehe 210. Broken the law? yyyyyep 211. Ever loved someone so much it made you cry? yep 212. Hated yourself? yep 213. Been brokenhearted? yep 214. Broken someone's heart? I'm not sure, I might have 215. Wanted to kill someone? yes 216. Fell off a chair?: yes 217. Lap danced? had one or given one? I've not had or done either 218. Been in a fist fight? nope - do you - 220. Like to give hugs? yep 221. Like to walk in the rain? yep 222. Sleep with or without clothes on? a shirt and underwear 224. Dress up on Halloween? sometimes 225. Have a job? no 226. Like to travel? yes 227. Like someone? uhhh I like lots of people 228. Sleep on your side, tummy or back? tummy 229. Think your attractive? Lord no! 230. Want to marry? no thanks 233. Have stuffed animals? yep 234. Go on vacation? there's that word again - other - 235. Do you believe in the horoscopes: not really but it is freaky when one actually happens to come true 239. Do you have any piercing: yep my ears my tongue and lebret 240. Any tattoos: yep 10 241. If so where: 3 on my left arm, 1 on each ankle, 1 on the back of my neck, 1 on my right wrist, 3 on my chest 242. If not, where and what do you want: bleh 243. Are you picky: yes, very 244. What makes you cry: the drop of a hat 245. What makes you mad: lots of shit, stupid people, commercials, hip-hop, the fact that i'm not romantically involved with Mike Pitt or Jack White, when children are cruel, life in general 247. Who do you admire: Jack White, Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock, David Bowie, Son House, lots of people for different reasons 249. Do you believe in the devil: of course, he's going to make me the best guitar player in the world! 250. What is the one place you have to visit before you die: Jack White's bedroom :) or Paris... either one hehe 251. What did you do today: went to my son's first play, laid in bed hungover, played online 252. Where do you work: I don’t 255. Do you own a miniskirt: somewhere 257. What is the farthest your have traveled: New York 261. Do you use big words to sound smart: not often 262. When you get mad, do you swear a lot: fuck yeah 266. Ever worn black nail polish: on a daily 269. Whats under your bed: there's no "under my bed" 271. Do you believe in fate: yeah 276. Do you like little kids: yes, kids are honest (that was the last person's answer but it's perfect so it's mine too) 277. Are you talented: so i'm told 278. If so, how: drawing/painting - love life - 445. Do you have a crush: yeah hee hee 446. What's his or her name: I can't tell 447. How old are they: 27 but he'll be 28 in July :) or he might be 22 hmmm 448. How long have you liked him or her: a few years 449. If you could kiss anyone in the world, who would it be: Jack or Mike, duh that's a no brainer 450. If you could date anyone in the world, who would it be: see above 451. What is the biggest turn off: ugly feet 452. What is the biggest turn on: talent, voice, hair 453. Do you prefer being the dumper or the dumpee: c'mon, who prefers to be dumped? 454. Do you think there is a person for everyone: I think there's lots of people for one person 455. If yes, do you know who yours is: I do, yes 456. Where is the best place to be kissed: on the mouth 457. Where is the most romantic place to take a date: dates are overated 458. Do you believe in love at first sight: no 459. Have you ever been in love: yes 460. What do you think love is: boring boring boring, I don't fucking know... how can I be in it if I don't even know what it is? Uh, respect, trust... blah blah blah 470. Do you have a b/f or g/f: why yes, yes I do 471. Do you want one: ... 472. How long have you been together: 10 years 473. What do you like about your crush or b/f, g/f: everything. He's talented, smart, funny, good looking, etc. etc. etc. 474. When was your first kiss: I don't know the date but it was in December of 1993 and we were just laying in my bed. I remember the thoughts going through my head... I can't believe I'm actually kissing the guy!! I was so happy because I had a huge crush on him for the longest time. Aww. - past - 502. Last word you said: "gross" Brian just told me a story about some chinese place that his friend did a service call at and he said it was swarming with cockroaches and raw chicken was being stored in weird places to wit I said "gross" 503. Last song you sang: "In The Cold Cold Night" along with the cd in the car 504. Last meal you ate: a pizza/corn/brownie tv dinner it was not good 506. What did you hate most about school: everything 508. Last song stuck in your head: "The Union Forever" The White Stripes 512. Last time you bled: now, I have a cut on my finger - future - 521. Who do you want to marry: I'm not Boring no? Bye 67233 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 16:50 | Comments [0] Don't worry 'bout me. edit Oooo lots to talk about... I went to Creighton's play this morning. He was wonderful, of course. I hugged him when it was over and told him how proud I was of him and asked if he enjoyed acting. He said he did. Hmm... maybe we've got an actor on our hands. He's definitely a ham. :) -- I missed the Bosstones on Jimmy KImmel last night, oops. I'm sure they were swell. I missed it due to the fact that I went out with Shannon. The less said about that, the better. Nah, it wasn't bad. I had a few too many, (how long was that?) and ended up in westport, as usual. The Hurricane officially blows. I hate it there now. I see why Steve doesn't really have a lot to do with it anymore. I got to see some folks I haven't seen in a while, which was nice. We mostly just hung out with Paul, Keith and Kev. They all make me laugh. Poor Kev, his father just recently had a stroke, he was very upset. I wish he'd lay off the crack. Seriously. Things got a little nutty by the end of the night... well if you call 4am night. I played "possum" and all was fine. Shannon and I scammed for food and took it back to Mike's and ate it there. Then I went home. So nothing too crazy went on. There are some flashbacks of things that were said that probably shouldn't have, but other than that, it was cool. At least Em got her fucking cookie dough. Jesus! -- Ticketmaster can suck my dick. They were supposed to have an internet pre-sale for the White Stripes show (not that I was going to take advantage of that, I don't have a credit card... thank god) but if it had happend, that would mean that they officially would be on sale tomorrow. Well, fuck. They aren't being sold for the KS show at all. It hasn't even been announced yet. What a bunch of shit. Guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. -- In more stripes related news, the official site has a new "message from the white stripes" up. All I can say is Jack is my hero. He's got integrity just oozing out of him. It's an explaination of sorts. I don't know if I mentioned it here or not but there was this rumor floating around that the White Stripes would be playing on an airplane at 35,000 ft. and it was to be sponsored by Virgin Mobile... a fucking cell phone company... and we all know how Jack feels about technology such as this... at least we thought we did... Now this sent all in TLR board into a frenzy. "How could our beloved Stripes do this? How could the sell out like this?" ETC. There was like a 6 page thread on it. Everyone just wanted to know the truth. People saw these advertisments on t.v. and in stores but didn't know what to make of it since we'd not heard anything from the band themselves. SO, long story short... READ THIS. Whoa there Jack! Got a little hostile eh? Do you blame him?? He was being "pimped"!! I hope they can get this resloved. True it was a cool idea in the beginning but you can't make something like that come to life without some kind of corprate bullshit going along with it, especially when your as big as this band is. Surely Jack and Meg new this. Ahh well. At least we have the truth. Thank you Jack for thinking enough of us to even bother with an explaination. :) I speak to him as if he's reading this, what a dumbshit I am! -- I want to see them play live so bad I can taste it!! This waiting is torture. -- And OMG, the Glastonbuy show is GONE. Gone I tell you! I forgot to save it on the laptop so now have to go try my luck at the FTP and d/load it from there. Grrrr. I haven't been able to get on to it since the owner screwed with it. Oh hell. I'll just go watch Mike Pitt fondle his girlfriend in the video for Joey Ramone's "What A Wonderful World" hurmph. -- Goodbye. **Edit** I just remembered the throwing up episode that I had in the Hurricane. Hahaha. I was puking up a rupplemint shot into the sink. Shannon came in and started laughing at me then left. Ohhh lord. I felt like shit this morning and now I remember why. Shall I jump back on the wagon now? 67204 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 13:20 | Comments [0] Wednesday, May 21, 2003 Someone's got that "sly come hither stare" down to a "T" edit Yeah, I'm a loser with no life, therefore too much time on her hands. This has already been established. -- Anyway. I bought the June issue of Guitar Player magazine right? Why? Because I'm a huge gear-head and I buy it every month to learn and impove my guitar playing techniques... BECAUSE JACK WHITE WAS ON THE COVER, DUH! So, like I was saying. I bought it about a week ago and just now got around to reading it. I'm not into all the "what makes this sound this way?" or "how can I get that sound?" I know how to play a small handful of songs on a fucking fender acoustic! What the hell do I need to know about a DigiTech Wammy pedal and Silvertone amps for? I don't. But I'll be damned if I didn't read this fucking article and search out what exactly all these things were. I was actually interested in the fact that, to get the "studdering sound" on the "Black Math" solo, Jack used his old '60's no-name Japanese guitar which he installed a cut-off switch on, that shorts the signal and to get the sound he just cut it in and out as he was playing. Hahaha.... who am I and what have I done with Rayna? This shit is kinda cool. Maybe because he keeps it all very simple in his explainations. I know what your thinking. "It's because you are obsessed with Jack". Untrue. I didn't dig like this when I was in my Lou Reed obsession phase. Besides, Lou got so into all of this complicated shit with computers and people making/creating things just for him... it got boring and I didn't understand a word of it. He's a real gear-head. I think it's the simplicity factor. But the best quote in the article was this: "Your slide playing on previous albums is more in the traditional blues vein, but you seem to have taken a more lyrical approach for Elephant. " "Slide is my one true love. I enjoy the smoothness it gives you, and it's so much more expressive than standard playing. I know this will sound stupid, but when I play a pedal steel, it feels as if it was the instument I was born to play. I'm so scared to buy one, though, because you may never see me again!" That gave me fucking chills. I also love the fact that he allowed himself to take solos on Elephant as a "present to himself", since he'd never done it before on a White Stripes album. Awww. :) Well, that's what my morning consisted of. Neat huh? Maybe it's time I got out and actually did something. Hmmm... -- I talked to Jeff last night via AIM. He makes me laugh. Some Iron Maiden board he's on had them listing 10 famous people they would like to have sex with. His list was odd. I can't remember who all was on it but Joan Collins was among them... yikes. So he's into old chicks, whatever. Anyway, I made my list. In no particular oder: 1. Jack White 2. Michael Pitt 3. Ewan Mcgregor 4. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers 5. Johnny Lee Miller 6. Alan Cumming 7. Johnny Depp 8. Jude Law 9. Mike Ness 10. A David Bowie/Lou Reed sammich. Circa, late 60's My honorable mentions were: 11. Tim Roth 12. Gary Oldman 13. John Cameron Mitchell That's not an odd list is it? It's quite obvious I have a thing for pretty boys. But there's no shame in that. :) At least my list was better than Jeff's. Ha! -- I haven't talked to Rick in a while, wonder what he's up to. -- Ok, now i'm just ramblilng thoughts. I'm off to listen to Beck/Jack version of a Barbara Feldon (Get Smart) song called "Ninety-Nine" just because I like to hear Jack saying Pussycat over and over. Not to mention the line, "But that ain't an olive buddy, that's a microphone" and "cause that ain't a lipstick buddy, that's a polaroid" Meeeeyowza! He says it with as much sass to his voice as Miss Marlene Dietrich herself. Which explaines why I love the "Look Me Over Closely" cover. That and I love when a boy sings a song ment for a girl to sing and doesn't change the lyrics to suit gender. Mmmmm. I'll go now. Bye! Gee, I wonder if anyone out there actually reads this shit!? 67035 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 9:01 | Comments [0] Tuesday, May 20, 2003 Arm wrestling anyone? edit I just had to have this snippet archived... it's just too priceless not to have on record. It's from some skateboarding magazine interview... Interviewer: So, Jack, do you want to arm wrestle me? Jack: I’ll win! [laughs] Do you really wanna go? We can do it. Interviewer: I don’t know, you seem all excited about it now. I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. Jack: What, you don’t want to? Interviewer: I’m a pussy. Meg: He loves to arm wrestle. Interviewer: Really? Shit. Jack: Right here on the glass table? Interviewer: Yeah. I just want to make sure to get the struggle sounds on tape. Shit, dude, you’re muscular! Okay, Meg, you call it. Meg: All right, go! [Brief sounds of struggle] Interviewer: That was like, two seconds. My pride’s wounded. [Everyone laughs.] I’m just pissed because you sized me up so quickly. You knew right away that you were going to beat me! Meg: He just always wins. He’s got really big arms. Hahaha... and here's a picture to prove it! Uh, that's all. No, really. That's all. :) 66952 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 21:04 | Comments [1] ...be the death of me edit Ohhh boy. I've never had a night like I had last night. EVER. The sickness started early. A lot earlier than expected. I think I know why, but it doesn't really matter. It was hell... still is. I am trying my best to keep busy but it's fucking hard. I guess it started around noon yesterday. The usual, except 10 times worse! My back felt like sharp objects were being moved around under my skin. My head felt like it was going to explode. I wanted to tense up but it hurt, I tried to go limp and relax, didn't help... fuck, it sucked. Not to mention my temp. One minute I have goose bumps, next I feel like the inside of an oven. -- You know that scene in Gia, where she just checked into rehab and she's locked in a room in the hospital gown on the bed... that's what I felt like. Exactly. -- Today is better but i'm tired. Yesterday was the worst of it, the bad part where you start thinking up every scenario in your mind to get what you need to make it stop. Back in the day, I would have just gone to the ER and complained of an intense migraine but I wore out my welcome there long ago. Now, I just live with it. I'm sure your going, "God, what a fucking loser". Trust me, I'm saying the same thing to myself. -- At this very moment i'm full of rage. I just want to scream and tear apart anything in sight. But give me a few minutes, i'll be crying my eyes out. Fuck this. -- I deserve this, all of it, for falling back into the whole mess. -- On the brighter side, I'm going to start reading Valis (Phillip K. Dick), tonight. Reading helps. I read all of Prozac Nation one time I was going through this. -- I took a quiz I randomly came across a little bit ago... i'll leave you with the results. I am the Ideal Lover Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people's broken dreams which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitliess seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover. Symbol: The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalises you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power. What Type of Seducer are You? created by polite_society 66851 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 10:54 | Comments [0] Monday, May 19, 2003 blah blah blah edit God, is this background getting old or what? I feel like i'm going to a christmas website everytime I come here to post. I'll have to change that sooner than expected. -- Been a few days eh? Nothing much was missed. I spent most of the past 4 days in a big blurry haze. Quite entertaining. I can't see very well though. I squint a lot. -- I was supposed to go out with Shannon sometime over the past weekend. That never happened. She called quite a bit though. She and Mike were being tweeker willie's. I'm glad I didn't go out with them that night. I hate tweekin'. -- My father finally called the other day. He's okay. He's still in New Orleans. Apparently he got arrested for 'public drunkeness.' MY father... the man who despises alcohol... the man who's probably had a 6 pack throughout his entire life... weird. But he says he wasn't drunk, that's just the excuse they used for arresting him. He says everyone is really crooked down there. I'd get the fuck out if I were him, after they release him of course. He shouldn't do any time past the 21st. He said he'd call when he could. -- We went to Lovegarden yesterday so Brian could buy me (grudgingly of course) a new cd. Dead Kennedys - Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death. We all know his views on buying stuff we already have on vinyl. But damn it, I wanted to listen to it in the car. So bleh. I also picked up the Hotel Yorba single with Rated X on it. Been lookin' for that one for a while now. So I go to check out and there were 2 people working the counter, so I got behind one of the lines to wait, right? Well, I had seen Kelly (the lovely Lovegarden employee who's always so nice in helping me with White Stripes related material or who's egging me on to say 'hello' to Jello Biafra... hehe) he was at another part of the store doing inventory or something. When I got in line, he rushed over from whatever he was doing and asked if I was "ready to split". "Yep", was my response. Before going behind the counter he goes, "oh, wait, have you seen the new single yet?" I looked puzzled and he goes over to the "New Arrival" section of 45's and pulled out the "Seven Nation Army" single. "Ohhh, yeah, i've got that already" I said happily. :) He smiled and said, "oh, great!" So he checked out all my items and looked up and smiled and said, "Jello called us the other day to see if we survived the twister." Brian and I started laughing and said that was nice of him. I thanked him and we left. As we walked out I noticed Brian glaring at me. I couldn't help but laugh. "WHAT??!" I said. He just shook his head. He claims that the guy in Lovegarden, Kelly, "wants me", because of how he stoped what he was doing to check me out, didn't even look at Brian and always remembers who I am.... that's called being a good employee and a loyal customer. Duh. And because of how interested he is in the music I buy, he must be a fan of they same type of stuff. ie: White Stripes, Soledad Brothers etc. Besides, #1 the man wears a huge wedding ring. #2 yeah right! Brian is paranoid. Whatever. -- I had a great plan all set to put into action today but have thought twice and decided against it. -- Creighton's play was not the other day but is on the 22nd. He's got 3 speaking parts. Very cool. It's called 'Sherk Meets Snow White'. -- I need to play the guitar some more. I wish I could play with the slide. It's hard. Especially when the damn thing is too big and keeps slipping off. It's easy to just lay the guitar flat and do it like that but Brian yells at me when I do that. I want 'Sister Do You Know My Name' to be the first song I learn to play slide on. -- I'm getting very antsy for June 28th. I can hardly wait. Problem is, ticket prices. They go on sale on the 23rd. 5 days from now. I hope they aren't too expesive. Not like $40 or anything. Brian may not let us go if they are that much. Something like $23 wouldn't be bad. Actually something like $10 would be fantastic but this ain't 1997!! Eeek I'm giddy. I'm actually going to see them play live!! Hee hee hee hee hee. Sorry, I went a little nuts. -- Nuttin' else to say. Bye! Funny story... everyone should read this: NIGHT OF THE LIVING REDNECKS "Ray's guitar broke. Now we wanna play rawhide, we'll play anything. We'll play the theme from the Dinah Shore Show. Who wants to be Dinah Shore? Who's alter-ego is Dinah Shore? Oh, his fist didn't go up so quickly this time! Yawn... yawn... yawn... Put them headphones on, it's bee-bop time. I wanna tell you a story, about the last time I was in Portland. The night before we played at the Long Goodbye, I was walkin' on the street about 10:30 at night, a lot of people go to bed around here at 10:30 at night, and well, I was walkin' along, when suddenly these jocks in this bright blue pickup drove up. It had KC lights, tractor tires, everything but the CB. It was a life-sized Hot Wheels car for some dumb rich kid, right? Well, they drove up to me, and they yelled what drunk dumb rich kids usually yell, 'Hey faggot!' and showered me with some water. So, I stood there thinking, what a bunch of fuckheads, and picked up a rock. Now, I waited, and walked down about a block to where the Kentucky Fried Chicken is, on Burnside, and sure enough, they drove around again. They said, 'Hey, faggot, where's the nearest McDonald's?' I said 'I don't know,' and they squirted me again. So I THREW THE ROCK! and put a nice-sized dent in their giant Hot Wheels car. They screeched to a halt in the parking lot of some dept. store whose name I don't remember, it's up the street from Fred Meyer's. And they got out there clubs, and they ran after me yelling 'We're gonna kill you, goddam faggot, we're gonna kill you, motherfucker.' So I got in the phonebooth by the Kentucky Fried Chicken on Burnside, held my legs straight out, like this, so they couldn't open the door to the phonebooth. So they began charging the phonebooth, beating on it with their clubs yelling 'We're gonna kill you, motherfucker, we're gonna kill you, goddam faggot'. I just looked at them. So, there was a crowd gathering by this time, and these kids were standing nearby, and they said 'Oh, look at him, he's insane.' I thought, aha, here's my way out, I yelled at them, 'take me to a mental hospital right away, I wanna be put away, please put me away, c'mon call the cops and put me away. Please put me away now!' They said, 'Alright, faggot, we're callin' the police.' So they called the police, the cop comes out and I go 'Ah, my savior, and away from these jocks.' He opens up the door. 'Get outta there, you!' He throws me up against the car, frisks me, shoves me in the back. Then, he goes over to the jocks. 'Now what happend here? Looks like we're gonna have to take him to jail, but, we gotta have the full story first.' So, the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace in the hole-take it down on the bass, little bit down on the bass, yeah- ace in the hole, they go 'Well goddam, this motherfucker put a dent in my truck, this 9,000 (?90,000?) dollar truck, right? So I got my club, I went out and I wanted to kill him. I wanna kill him, let me kill him, goddamit, let me kill him! So the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and he confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. And I thought, So this is Oregon, huh? Tolerant Oregon. Ray, are you done with your guitar, yet? He isn't done yet. So what else do you wanna hear, I'm outta stories. That's a true story too, just ask..." 66696 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 10:59 | Comments [0] Wednesday, May 14, 2003 Christmas in May?? edit Nah. You'll notice I edited my template a bit. Yes. This in honor of Jack & Meg coming to town. There's about 101 x-mas refrences here but i'll try to restrain myself. I don't think I can look at this for more than a couple of months so fear not, it will go back to something... uh... not so festive. :) -- Creighton is doing a play at school tomorrow at 9am. I'm excited to see it. He's got a speaking part! Woo! He's not like me... I was always the kid who never got good parts in school plays. So yay for him! -- Didn't get to the doctor yesterday. They fucked up my date but rescheduled for today so I went today. I saw some supremely fat man who I don't recall ever being there before. No matter. He was nice. Got a refill on all my pills. *smirk* -- Ok, so I did it. I watched the series finale of Dawson's Creek. It was fucking sad ok. Screw you! Who are you to judge me!! Haha. Seriously it wasn't bad. Jen died. Pacey and Joey ended up together, Dawson got to meet Spielberg and Jack is with Pacey's brother "sheriff Doug". What's funny about that last part, when Brian and I were watching season 3 and Doug would be in a scene, Brian goes, "I bet that guy turns out to be gay." Swear to God. Weird. -- No more info on Tammy. -- Haven't heard from Daddy in about a week. I'm starting to worry. -- Doing my first "B&P" with a guy from TLR board. It's a DVD he made, compiled of White Stripes material. I have most of it but it'll be nice to have on a DVD instead of various vhs tapes scattered about in an un-orderly fashion, y'know? -- I added tons and tons of new pictures to my White Stripes Image section of my website. Woo! And I'm in the process of making some cool little avatars. Just for fun because I don't have a Livejournal *obviously* And that's the place that uses them most. Oh well. They are fun to make. -- That's all folks. Night. "HEINEKEN? FUCK THAT SHIT! PABST BLUE RIBBION!" -- Sorry I'm watching Blue Velvet. :) 66129 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 22:33 | Comments [0] Jack & Meg & Candy Cane Children... OH MY! edit HOLY MARY MOTHER OF....... SHIT!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE UP THERE LOVES ME!!!!!!! WHY??? WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? JUNE 28 Kansas City, KS - Memorial Hall tix on sale May 23 AHHHHHHHH, COULD IT BE?? YES! IT IS! MR. AND MS. WHITE WILL BE GRACING KCK WITH THEIR WONDERFUL RED AND WHITE PRESENCE!! Ok, i'm about to have another blow out.. hehe... no seriously I almost wept at this news. It was waiting for me in my inbox this morning from Ben Blackwell. (ws mailing list) I had to read the date over and over to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Calm blue ocean... calm blue ocean... I don't think I could possibly be any more excited than I am right now. I have to go calm myself. Oh, and tell Brian about it too. He'll be excited with me. :) Woo!! Nothing and I mean NOTHING will stop me from attending this show. Hell I may even road trip it to St. Louie to see 'em at The Pagent. I don't know about that though... money wise. We'll see. If I got a job now.... hmmm. BTW- Tammy was found. In oklahoma. She's in the hospital there, stabalized. There is damage to her car. More details when Kathy B. and her brother check in with Goldie (owner of JJ's). Prayers have been answered. Let's just hope she's going to be ok and that nothing tramatic happened. 66019 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 5:32 | Comments [0] Tuesday, May 13, 2003 Tammy - MIA edit Oh my God. I got a call from Shannon telling me our friend Tammy is missing. She bartends at JJ's. She's been missing since Sunday night. She apparently left O'learys and no one has seen her since. She doesn't have her purse or any of her medication. She needs her meds because last year she had mutiple brain aneurysms and was very, very sick. JJ's held a fundraiser to help pay her hospital bills and medication... and help out her 3 kids while she was in the hospital. She's a single mother. Tammy's very close to her family. On her nights off she's usually at JJ's or another bar with her brother and sister among other close friends and relitives. This is all just to weird. It's not in her character to abandon her kids. She's a very responsible person. Fuck. I hope this turns out ok. I'll call Shannon later for more details and see if there's anything I can do to help. Meanwhile, I'm on the lookout for a tiny blonde in a red jeep. Prayers welcome. 65874 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 8:19 | Comments [0] 'scuse me while I sell out edit Holy shit it's early! 8:30am and i'm bright eyed and bushy tailed. Creighton goes on his field trip to kaleidoscope today. It's so strange, I remember when we used to go in elementry school, I loved it. It was my favorite trip. Crown Center just seemed so huge and so full of neat things to see and do. I'm anxious to see how he likes it. -- If you haven't already seen it, go an rent (or wait for it on IFC) the movie "The City Of Lost Children". It's excellent. And on the subject of foreign films, rent "Delicatessen" while your at it. :) I'm watching the afore mentioned right now... kind of. I'll tape it when it's on again later. -- Have a nice day. Oh, before I go... watch me roll my eyes at SFTRI's idea of satire. And is it me, or is Long Gone John one of the freakiest lookin' cats ever!? 65872 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 7:46 | Comments [0] Monday, May 12, 2003 A worm of hope, a hangman's rope... pulls me one way or the other edit Uh oh, I guess i'm just not ment to sleep at night ever again. :( -- Forgot to mention I got my ebay win in the mail today. The Seven Nation Army single. It's got 'Good To Me' as the b-side!!! Yay!!! That's a Brenden Benson cover, in case you didn't know. :) Cost me $7.50. I had to get it off of ebay, as I have no way of buying things over the internet. ie: a fucking credit card. Those things are evil and I swore i'd never get one. And have made good it thus far. -- In my lack of sleep tonight I have, #1 read a cool lil interview from The Believer with Jack. Non-music related though. It's about his days as an upholsterer. I like how a LR board member put it... Jack the upholsterer swears but Jack the White Stripe doesn't. Cute. It's all about image eh? He swore 3 or 4 times in that interview hehe... I think that interview must have brought back all the stressful memories of the job. He said it was "not a fun job". That it "really was hard work". Don't ask me why but I find it sexy as hell that he had a job like that. Y'know working with his hands, sweating, moving furniture etc. I'm weird. Then again so is Jack. I mean c'mon, just look at one of his buisness cards! However this particular one doesn't have the blood splatterd red paint. I actually like the card, quite unique.-- #2 I found a page with some very nice recent concert photos of Mr. & Ms. White. You too can see them here. -- #3 I found, on ebay, a magazine with Mike in it. It's a UK mag. an up to $21 US. Screw that. He looks nice in it though. See. Ok, i'm checking the Mike board one more time to see if Berri put up the info she got from the chat she went to tonight with director Curt Johnson, on the Free the West Memphis 3 site. He's producer/writer for the West Memphis Three movie. So far Mike's the only one cast... confirmed anyway. And I hear tell that Gus Van Sant is set to direct. COOL! We *heart* Gus round these parts. :) Too bad I don't live in West Memphis. I could spy during the filming J/K! :) Or am I? *dunn dunn dunn* -- OK, I'm leaving now. 65824 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 22:58 | Comments [0] Hold that tiger! Hold that tiger! edit Wow, I went off on a tangent last night/this morning didn't I?! -- There is a new magazine with Mike in it... I haven't a clue which one though. I'll find out soon enough. Thursday it's a must that I pick up "Q". Yes because of the barefooted Stripes and the whole bloody matrix thing they've got goin' on. Plus there's this picture of Jack that... ahhhh nevermind. Speaking of pictures, someone posted this one on TLR board today. Isn't that the most adorable thing you've ever seen?? Everybody who sees this must do the "awwwww" I know I did. *phone's ringing* It was Shannon. She is gossip central. She called to tell me an old friend of ours, Danielle, from our days when we used to "live" at the bar, is 7 1/2 months pregnant. Whoa! She's my age and already has a 10 year old. I guess this one is by the same guy as her first child so it's not so bad. She was married to him for like 2 years then they divorced but still fucked. She was an odd one, but cool as hell. I remember going up to JJ's when Paul tended bar there (her boyfriend at the time) and they were both big time coke-heads. She'd go to the bathroom, and come out a few minutes later and run to over to me, "Rayna, you have to go to the bathroom... RIGHT NOW." I'd always be like, "I don't hav.... ohhhhhhh ok." So i'd go to the single room bathroom and lift up the big red 'JJ's Original' ashtray and there would be the biggest, fattest lines waiting for me. She'd always dip into Paul's stash because he'd usually get so fucked up before the night was over he'd forget if he sold it, snorted it or just dropped it. Yeah, he was fired. I'm glad those days are long over. Truly. -- So Brian thinks he's Johnny Knoxville and took a shaver to one of our cat's backs'. Poor Bailey. He's got a 'nic' in his fur. Brian claimed he wanted to give him a mowhawk. Whatever. He was just torturing him. Not really because he didn't actually hurt the cat... just humiliated him a bit. Seriously, I can tell. -- Ok, i'm not going to go on like I did last night. That was out of control! So it's 8:30pm. I'll be going to bed here in about 2 hrs. If I can make it that long. I have to be awake tomorrow for my 1:30pm doctors appt. Woo! Bye. 65800 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 19:41 | Comments [0] she must be dead if the only sound I hear are the devils by her bed edit It was Mother's Day today/yesterday. I slept it away. Creighton came in around 10am and wished me a "Happy Mother's Day" and hugged me. Awww. I saw the girl across the hall, the one with the new baby, as I was walking in (she was walking out.) I wished her a "Happy Mother's Day" and she returned the wish. They are nice. :) -- However, tis a sad day. Because of some FUCKING BULLSHIT at Brian's work, I am now forced to erase every bit of goddamned shit that is on this here laptop. *sigh* I really wish I had my own computer. Maybe I should have invested in one when I was blowing through that $66 thousand I got from Nana's IRA after she passed away. But no, I had to torture my liver, and give myself endless nose bleeds with it instead. Grrrrrrrrrrr. Fuck. I don't want to do this... again. When the computer crashed that last time, and that one cat from Brian's work fixed it, but to do so had to re-install everything and in the process lost about 250 songs I had downloaded... yeah that almost killed me. I got over it (well except some of the Johnny Thunders stuff and all the OLD Springsteen boots and of course all the Velvet Underground rarities... plus some Jonathan Richman songs, a Dandy Warhol's song... "Lou Weed" hehe. Fuck, I guess I didn't get over it! Bleh.) Since then, I have not used the evil that is Kazza or any other p2p devil contraption. I have however, as you may know, gained access to that wonderful White Stripes FTP. Well, I spoiled myself downloading a bunch of rarities and show n' stuff from it... only for me to now be forced to erase it all. ALL. *cries* This really bites. Oh, not to mention I won't be able to talk to any of my friends on Yahoo IM or AIM. :( Phooey to whoever is responsible for what happened at Brian's work. -- As a historic moment in my internet history, I will now list all that I have downloaded so if the time comes that I am ever able to get this stuff agian, i'll know what to look for... Agent Ninety-Nine live (Barbara Feldon Cover) (Beck & Jack White) Cold Brains live(Beck & Jack White) *sniff sniff* *I'll SO miss this one!* Last Fair Deal Goin' Down - Jack & Beck live One More Cup of Coffee - 4th street fair 1998 My Little Red Book- 4th street fair 1998 Let's Shake Hands- 4th street fair 1998 Lafayette Blues- 4th street fair 1998 Your Southern Can Is Mine - Asheville - 9/21/2000 Beck - Cold Brains Boll Weevil union square NYC *w/out instruments!* Brendan Benson - Good To Me Diddy Wah Diddy Lord Send Me An Angel - Empty Bottle 12/15/00 *this is avaliable online so it's ok... more about that later* For The Love Of Ivy Good To Me - Elephant Japan Extra Gun Club - For The Love Of Ivy (original) Hello Operator/Baby Blue - Peel Sessions Hotel Yorba - a really really great live version House Of The Rising Son You've Got Her In Your Pocket - Jack & Friends @ The Gold Dollar Dead Leaves & The Dirty Ground - Jack & Friends @ The Gold Dollar Fall 1999 Rated X - Glastonbury Festival 2002 *also online* Lafayette Blues - live unkown but fuckin' awsome Lord Send Me An Angel & Dead Leaves... - Peel Sessions Lord Send Me An Angel - Union Square NYC Red Death at 6:14 *got it on vinly on the 'Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit' yay me* Robert Johnson - Stop Breakin' Down (take 1) Screwdriver Medley - Union Square NYC The Reading of the Story of The Magi/Meg singing Silent Night - X-Mas vinly *CRIES* Upolsteres - Pain(gimme sympahty) *CRIES HARDER* Nardwar Canadian Interview - funny as fuck. Damn. Who's To Say - Elephant Japan Extra Candy Cane Children Danger (High Voltage) Wildbunch aka Electric 6 Featuring Jack White aka John S. O'leary *that really blows* Lord Send Me An Angel/Broken Bricks/Cannon *I can't remember where this is from... listening to it now... ain't ringin' a bell... Sounds excellent though... must be a recent show ie: 2003* You're Pretty Good Looking *the quick acapella version* I Think I Smell A Rat/Take A Wiff On Me - One Big Sunday 5/5/2003 Live in Pomona - 6/1/02 - video Look Me Over Closely Black Jack Davey (studio version) Bob Dylan - Black Jack Davey (Irish Traditional) Henry & June Goin' Back To Memphis 7in - GBTM Small Faces - Glasgow Academy 5/10/2003 Live at Northstar - 6/20/01 - video Live in London - 12/6/01 - video So there you have it. My collection. There are tons of other shit I wanted to download but didn't want to use up too my bandwith on the FTP so i've been taking my time to allow others to get what they want as well. -- Damn it all! -- Anyone wanna find all these songs and burn 'em for me? Hehe. I'll love you forever and ever! Promise! -- I watched the 90210 reunion thing tonight. It sucked. Shannen Dourghty has some fucked up lookin' teeth. They reminised about dumb shit. I was not impressed. Luke Perry was pretty funny though. I also watched Queer As Folk tonight. Ahhh, the never ending life/love saga of beautiful homosexuals. Gotta love it. Poor Teddy's becoming a drunk... Deb just got her heart broken (it's ok, I never liked that cop anyway)... Brian and Justin are back together (YAY!!) Some other stuff too. It's a good show. And I don't care what Brian (my Brian, not Gale Harold) says, he likes the show too. His quams were "too much sex, not enough storyline and weak ones when there is one." Phooey. He talks shit but he is just as into it as I am. Same happened with Dawson's Creek. Although neither of us really liked the show, we both got to know the characters by name and all that. He cracks me up. He came home the other day at lunch and said, "hey I just heard a commercial on the radio for the last episode of Dawson's Creek... someone is gonna die. Are we gonna watch?" I laughed so hard. And of course we will watch. Just for kicks y'know. :) I bet it's Pacey. Ehhh, enough. Incidently, when I watched/recored (again) that Law & Order SVU episode on Friday... then watched it again after that... Brian didn't say a word. He sat quietly and watched with me twice in a row without bitching. Hmmm... strange. :) He likes Mike too, ain't no shame in that. :) -- The Bosstones are touring this June. No where near me though. So wadda I care? They will be performing on the Jimmy Kimmel Show on the 20th or the 21st. I don't know anything about that so i'll have to research it and find my local listing. -- Now what I was refering to above in my list of White Stripes and WS related songs, was the Empty Bottle show in Chicago back in 2000. It was on this website I found a loooong time ago. It was the first time I ever SAW the White Stripes performing live. Concert wise. I was mesmorized by the performance. I didn't know a lot of the songs because I was just getting into them. But what I heard I liked. I loved the slide guitar playing. I loved the adorable faces Meg would make at crowd members taking her picture (who btw where mearly inches from the band themselves) and at Jack too. I loved Jack's nervous rambles he made in between songs about Wirlwind Heat, Ben Blackwell their "nephew" at the merch table and to buy their stuff, and the thank you's to the crowd for coming... and watching. I loved how when Jack finally made eye contact during songs he would blink... a lot. He looked very... pretty. I just loved the whole thing. One part in particular where he's singing "You're Pretty Good Looking" I think, he sees someone in the audience that he knows, I would assume, smiles and waves to them while he's still singing. It's cute. Now, about the music. I like I said I was unfimilar with a lot of it. Then all of the sudden the link I had to the show didn't work anymore. It was dead! I tried to find it up on the FTP but now luck... only audio from it. So then today, like what... years later, I saw that someone had posted a link to this very show, up on TLR message board! I about died when it worked! To go back and see that performance, now with all the love and knowledge I have of the songs. I was in awe. Much to my joy, I found that they played "Look Me Over Closely", "Red Death at 6:14", "Do", "Your Southern Can Is Mine" etc. Damn! Hearing them with the love I have now was incredible. With the exception that Jack screwed with the lyrics to "Do" during my favorite part (grrr). Other than that it was wonderful. The imperfections, are what make it so great. Meg's missed beats, lyric fuck up's etc. Jack even apologized after singing "Red Death..." saying, "I'm sorry, we haven't worked all the kinks outta that one yet." Aww. Wow. -- So after being in bliss watching this, I decide to watch the most recent show I have available. The "One Big Weekend" show. It was so completely different. I realize a lot of time has passed, almost 4 years in fact... and people/bands change. And the size of venue has a lot to do with it. But I was a little let down. Jack certainly has much more energy and his little rant to the crowd was just as cute as ever ("last time we were in Manchester I don't think anyone said hello to us. No one said hello to Meg. Can you all say hello to Meg right now?" something like that) but the drastic change in, I don't even know what i'm trying to say here. It's just that you see a show as wonderfully intimate as the Empty Bottle show where you had nothing but an exhale of smoke between you and the band, then you see something like the show in Manchester where there are thousands of people freaking out, screaming, crying, and there is about a mile between the crowd and the band and there's tons of security to boot. It's just a little sad is all. Oh how I wish I could have been "in the know" back when they were in their "little room." Ahh well. -- It seems I have rambled on quite a bit tonight. Wow. I wonder who will actually read all of this. Hmmm... 65667 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 5:59 | Comments [0] Sunday, May 11, 2003 Gimme an issue, i'll give you a tissue... you can wipe my ass with it! edit Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States) brought to you by Quizilla Uh... ok. 65551 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 7:12 | Comments [0] I ran all the way home do wah do wahhh edit My day was totally eventful, I swear. Let's see, I hopped in the shower about 7am then went to bed around 9am and got up at 4pm. Cool huh? -- I got a bit of the nostalgia goin' on again all because of the movie "Stand By Me." Great fuckin' movie. I don't care what anyone says or thinks. River Phoenix was an unbelievable human being, and his death was truly tragic. I say that in a tone of voice you just have to know me to understand how much sincerity I say it with. Anyway, that movie was one of mine and my 2 childhood best friends, Carrie and Kristen's favorites. We quoted it daily in middle school. "A pile of shit has a thouuuuusand eyes!" or "(insert name here)...just screwed the pooch!" there were just tons of classic lines in that movie. We'd do the "skin it" and "pinky swear" thing too. We were dorks. Ahhh the memories. -- My hair looks like a dirty hippy's. Not that it's dirty. I just washed it today but I usally have to blow dry it so it doesn't frizz out, yes that sounds weird but so is my hair. So I went to bed with it wet. When I woke up my bangs were their perfect normal straight wonderful selves and my hair was all wavy and hippish looking. (Which is past my armpits when laying in front of my shoulders I might add. :)) I laughed out loud at my reflection in the mirror as I went running from the bathroom, screaming in my best Nancy Spungen, "Ehhhh...I look like fucking Stevie Nicks!" For some reason that's the only thing that popped in my head to say. It was fairly amusing. -- I sound ok writing but I'm really not. I'm actually in a pretty shitty mood. I am out of cigarettes until Thursday. I am on a diet and haven't had more than a few items in the past 4 days and it's really starting to get on my nerves. I kinda "crashed" day before yesterday... then again tonight. Old habits die hard. Wagon's just aren't ment to transport me. *sigh* I'm just grumpy. I go to the doctor on Wed. That will make me feel better. I hope. I have so much shit I want to talk over with her. I just wish I knew how she'll react. I have only seen her once since Dr. Reser left. *sheds tear* -- On the subject of doctors, Shannon is getting a breast reduction. The procedure sounds horrid! They actually have to cut her nipple off and put it higher.... and they have to lypo her armpits! What the fuck is that all about? My tits are big, and I have a love/hate relationship with them... but i'll be damned if i'm gonna mutilate the hell out of 'em! Yikes! I guess hers weigh 27lbs. Together. Geez. Mabye she should get it done. If it's truly hurting her back/neck and all that shit, and she's not just trying to get painkillers or attention. Which I doubt. She's not really like that... about the attention part. Whatever. -- I'm so not tired and it's 4:30am. Grrr. 'Spose i'll go do some Mike searching. I've been on a huge Mike trip ever since I caught the Law & Order SVU episode he was on, on tonight. Yes the very same one I have on tape. It was just nice to flip to USA and at that very moment see his first scene and that beautiful face. He's got some classic lines in this particular episode. (talking to the dectetives) "My shrink says I have an agressive orientation to the world. Something about a preditory drive. Says if I don't re-channel it, I could...I could wind up a... what'd she say... A COP!" Haha, I loved that! Or my all time favorite... he says this in that "New York-New Jersey tough accent" that J.T. LeRoy refers to in an article... "Let's do this again... real soon." He says that as he's being released from custody. Thank God Berri has 'em available on her site in case I just feel like hearing his voice at random times. :) Ahhh Mike. He's a hell of an actor. -- So, yeah, that's it. Buuuh-bye. 65541 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 3:52 | Comments [0] Saturday, May 10, 2003 Meh. edit Today I: Cleaned the house. Paid some much needed attention to my cat, Bailey. Had 3 bites of Mac n' Cheese and a coke. Yelled at Brian. Listened to the Misfits. Thought about selling Brian to the first one-eyed carnival freak I could find, for a pack of chewing gum. Worried about money. Went without fingernail polish for the first time in like 5 years. Thought about... y'know... stuff. Watched The Simpsons. Played guitar for about 30 minutes. Sat and stared off into space. Waited for more tornado's to roll through my town. Had impure thoughts about Mike Pitt. Acted on them..... haha j/k. Obviously. Attempted to pick a good photo of Jack to draw... decided not to draw after all. Looked at my scars and thought... why did I do that? Hoped a friend would holla at me via AIM... they didn't. Found out the new bassist for Metallica used to be in Suicidal Tendencies... didn't care. Watched "JackASS the Movie". Watched a video by a band called "Blotto"...laughed my ass off. Rememberd a freaky dream I had last night involving, shrimp, wal-mart, a Motley Crue box set w/ dvd included (??), a panic room... of sorts, and a very long needle poking through everyone in the rooms' wrists... lots of blood... lots. Coughed. Spent a good deal of time reading TLR message board... that's TLR NOT TRL. Watched the White Stripes live in London. Laughed out loud when Meg sang 'Rated X', because it was cute. Left my house twice. Wished my Dad would call. Opened my 'Mother's Day' gift from my son... because he couldn't wait until Sunday. *a book of poems* **loved it!** Had no physical contact with my boyfriend... wait, no, he spanked me on his way back to work from lunch... my bad. Cried. Wondered where my sister is. Did not talk to Shannon. Asked myself, "why the hell did I used to wear 'babydoll' dresses??" Froze to death because I was too lazy to turn down the air. Put my lebret piercing back in. Wrote in my blog. :) 65395 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 1:53 | Comments [0] Thursday, May 8, 2003 DO edit You know what, I've done a bad thing. In all seriousness, I have lost my head when it comes to The White Stripes. Jack in particular. It's just that... well, fuck, look at him! However, I did not start out this way. I didn't see Jack White and just go, "oh god this must be the best band in the world, look how cute the singer is, yes, they are my new favorite band even though I don't know anything about the music." Uh-uh, that didn't happen. I heard the music first... tried to hear everything I could... bought the albums... then and only then did I delve into Jack & Meg's background. I remember quite clearly sitting on my bed with the laptop listening to clips of songs/interviews and that was the first time I heard the brother/sister thing mentioned. I yelled at Brian to come in the room, "Hey y'know that band the White Stripes? I guess they are brother and sister... cool." A few days later I read differently. ie: ex-husband/wife. That's all it was left at. I thought hmm, that's odd but then went back to the music. Months later I decided to find out the "truth" and did my little search fest. Came up with... "it doesn't fucking matter." So, I find myself in a position I want out of. No more focusing soley on Jack... superficially that is. I have to direct my attention to the mean guitar he plays and how beautiful his voice is but, looks, i'll try and limit. I crave the music now. Not to say I didn't all along, but that's my main focus now. -- With that being said... I just heard their version of "Black Jack Davey", was blown away. I'm off to watch a live performance from Pomona. -- Yeah, the sleep thing, never happend. Meh. 65104 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 6:09 | Comments [0] Cocaine's for horses and not for men, doctors say it'll kill you but they don't say when edit Ok, so it's 5am and I can't sleep for shit. I'm an insominac. -- I was just watching that White Stripes performance again... the one from 'One Big Weekend'. Yeah, when he does the Leadbelly cover of "Take a Whiff On Me" instead of "the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice. Takes a brown skin woman for my particular use..." He sings, "The redder the berry the sweeter the juice. Takes my red-haired woman for my particular use..." Ehhhh refering, OBVIOUSLY, to Marcie Bolan. Bleh. But still kinda sweet. I'm just a bitter jealouse shell of a woman. :) -- So Daddy called again today. He's in Shreveport. He stayed there last night. At a place he said looked like "slave quarters." But he said it was only 28 bucks a night. He's low on cash... duh. He said he was freaked out by this doll that was nailed to the wall in his room. Said, it looked like a mop with a cloth face and pins for the eyes but it had long flowing red hair that looked to be human. WEIRD. He said he wanted to take it and put a piece of one of Tasha's shirts on it and sent it to her... like some voodoo shit. Hehe. I thought it was funny. He didn't want to touch the doll though. I wouldn't either! -- He's gonna call when he get's to New Orleans. Only bad part about his trip is that he's starting to withdrawal. Not good to do on the road. He'll manage. He always does. -- Shannon got a couple of letters from this girl Amy we know. She's locked up in county. Just on a probation violation, nothing drug related, this time. She makes me fuckin' laugh. I'm going to have to write her. -- Guess that's it. I'll try and get some sleep... AGAIN! Night. 65094 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 4:50 | Comments [0] Quizzzzzzzzzzes because I have nothing to do edit You Kick Ass!!! You are a worthy fan of Angelina!!!! Are You A Worthy Fan Of Angelina Jolie?!? brought to you by Quizilla Good. Cause I love her. :) You Get Sid. Whos You Punk Boyfriend brought to you by Quizilla Duh, who else would my "punk boyfriend" be?? You are Heroin! Not being one of the more popular drugs, people find it a little hard to understand you and your secretive, sometimes deppressed way of looking at things. You are an intense and intelligent person, and sometimes people are a bit intimidated, whether they say so or not. What Illegal Drug Are You? brought to you by Quizilla That's not funny... too much Lou Reed I tell ya! New York, 1966. Andy Warhol, Salvador Dali, and the Velvet Underground. You, my friend, are an intellectual punk, in touch with your roots in Dada and the Beat poets. Congratulations! What Era of Punk Are You? brought to you by Quizilla BUT OF COURSE! Punker- Simple chords. Maybe throw in a little politics here and there. You like punk that stays true to the original flavor. 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You're into BSDM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission) and chances are, you're fond of whips, chains, harnesses, and tight leather outfits. You like to mix a little pain with a LOT of pleasure, baby! What kind of porno would you star in? brought to you by Quizilla Meeeeeow!! discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com If you've got some sugar for me, sugar daddy bring it home! junkie ...Nothing beats that "cozy brown snow of the East", and as far as your life goes (and even that is questionable), you know how to lay your smack down. Just remember Requiem man: if it starts swelling up and turning five shades of blue, pick another fucking vein will ya... Who Are You In The Drug Culture? brought to you by Quizilla UH-OH!! Ok i'm done, I SWEAR! :) 65061 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 0:12 | Comments [0] Wednesday, May 7, 2003 Oh yeah your pretty good lookin'... edit I'm going to take as much time as I want to have "girly" moments. I've had way too many "adult" moments lately. I don't feel i've taken full advantage of my complete and total abilty to be a gushing fan... of anyone. Thank You. -- Now, if I could get Mike to look at me the way he does at Alexis' here and the way he looks into her eyes here... I could die a happy girl. :) -- That's all I have in me for right now. But fear not, there are always new photos of Mike & Jack popping up... it won't be long. 64980 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 17:21 | Comments [0] Tuesday, May 6, 2003 Just a perfect day, you made me forget myself. I thougt I was someone else... someone good. edit It's a fucking Tuesday night. Bored as hell, which always leads to impure thoughts and doings, at least for myself. Oh well. Fuck it. It's really over this time... no kidding. O-V-E-R. I'm finished with that shite! -- I'm watching Trainspotting. Good movie. Um, yeah. -- Daddy called last night around 10pm from the bus station downtown. He was waiting for his bus to leave for the big easy. That's right, he's on his way to New Orleans. I fear for his safety. He's never been there before. I hear it's a dangerous place... especially for fellas such as him. Johnny Thunders overdosed there and died. I hope he's careful. He said he found Tasha but did not see or talk to her. He drove by the place she is staying but that's it. I'm proud of him. He was proud of himself. He found another whore to play with. He's got issues. He said he was going to stay in New Oreleans for 4 to 6 weeks... "unless he needed me to come back earlier." I said for him to go, have fun, take it easy and to BE CAREFUL. He said he would, and that he would call me at the next stop. I hope he gets a calling card because he's calling collect and it's getting exspensive. Six dollars to accept, one dollar a minute after that. Yeesh. So that's where he's at. -- I watched the 30 minute White Stripes set from the "One Big Weekend" show they played in Manchester this past weekend. It was fucking great! First time i've gotten a chance to actually see Meg sing "In The Cold, Cold Night." She sang it beautifully. I read on the White Sripes Livejournal that some guy working backstage was witness to an obvioulsy horny Jack missing his girlfriend Marcie [Bolan] of the Von Bondies. I guess they were having "make-out" sessions every chance they got. That's life on the road for ya. Never getting to see you love. I hope he's happy. I can't help but be a bit jealous :) Not to even fancy the notion that it could be me in his arms one day... HAHAHAHAHAHA that's so laughable. I must, must, must see them play on this tour, I MUST!!! -- If there are tons of typo's etc., please forgive me. I'm straining to keep my eyes open. -- Anyway, I found some new pictures of Jack today. That always makes my day. They aren't actually new,they are very old but they are new to me, obviously. The first one is the back of a 7" by "The Henchmen." Jack was the drummer for a minute. There he is in all his blonde glory! Haha! Yes, that is really him. -- The second one is from Jack's "Goober and the Peas" days. Sportin' the country look... "Goober" (Dan Miller) and all the "Peas" wore cowboy hats. -- Last but certainly not least, from a recent gig... oh the sweet dreams I will have tonight after viewing this.!!! Those are some really nice pants. *drooool* God, i'm so evil/superficial/girlyteeniebopperish sometimes, it's sickening, but it can be so much fun. :) -- Nighty night children. fin 64794 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 21:14 | Comments [0] Sunday, May 4, 2003 Just a thought... edit I closed my eyes a minute ago. I saw a 5am glistening blanket of snow. In the front yard of my childhood home. I wish I was there now. Looking at that snow... brightened even more by the single street light right in front of the wood/brick structure on the street corner. I miss my house. 64375 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 22:10 | Comments [0] Put your make-up on, fix your hair up pretty and meet me tonight in "Kansas City" edit Ok, i've resumed my regularly scheduled life. My father is gone. I am done... with everything. NO MORE BULLSHIT. I can't beleive the shit that went on. It was fuckin' unreal. But I feel good now. I feel... clean. -- My only problem now is the mixed emotions I have about my father. I love him so much, he's the only family I have, besides Brian and Creighton. -- He had me drop him off at 7th and Quindaro last night. For those unfimilar, it's "the part of town where, if you hit a red light you don't stop." So I left him there. On the corner. He's not well. He should have gone to the ER. He's sick. All the years of drug use are finally catching up to him and he needs help. But what can I do? I'm just a fuckin' taxi. -- He definitely wore out his welcome here, quick. Two days... I had enough. He kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye. Nothing about when/if he'll call or anything. I am worried. I cried all the way to Mike's. I don't know what to feel. I'm so confused. It's best he's gone but I don't know if he's alive or dead. The memories keep flashing back to when I was about 14 and Nana and I had to go to KU medical center where he had been admitted. He apparently had been "robbed" but not really because he didn't have any money. They just beat the shit out of him. Collapsed both his lungs and broke 3 ribs not to mention all the cuts and bruises. I was so scared. He was much younger then, imagine how his body would react to such abuse now. I don't want to think about it. I'm scared to death for him. Yet, it was me who left him there. *sigh* -- Brian and I are getting back to our old lives. We are much happier without Daddy here. Our lives were turned upside down, as usual when he stays with us. We'll see what happens now. -- That's about it. I'm just trying to deal. -- If I never see him again (heaven forbid) at least we got to listen to "Atlantic City" by Springsteen together... that was the last song we sang along to before he got out of the car. -- 64366 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 21:14 | Comments [0] Saturday, May 3, 2003 It's a fact, Candy Cane Children come in all ages! edit I figured I'd better get back into the swing of things and look on the bright side instead of the oh so present dark side. -- Back to when I picked my father up... This was to be his first introduction to the White Stripes so I had to pick something I thought he'd really like. I went with my first favorite... the song that pulled ME in. "Lord Send Me An Angel". He got in the car (hugs, kisses, hello's) and I put it on. Didn't say a word. Two seconds later... as he stares at the car radio (why do people look at the radio? Like it's going to tell you something?!) Without looking up, Daddy: "Hey, what's this? What are we listening to here? Me: "Why? Do you like it?" Daddy: "Yeah, that sounds great! Who is it??" Me: "The White Stripes." Daddy: "Oh, so this is who you wrote and told me about...I really like this." (He rocks out until the song ends) "Let's hear that again! Play it again!" Me: "Ok, no problem!" --Next I played him "Death Letter", and he requested to hear that one again as well. Same with "Ball and Biscuit" etc. So I asked him, after the hour long drive home with nothing but White Stripes tunes playing, Me: "So what do you think?" Daddy: "That's amazing, they're really good!" -- Flash forward to today. He's in my room looking at the many, many, many posters/pictures of Jack and Meg that I have on my walls. Daddy: "Who are these guys?" Me: "Those are the White Stripes." Daddy: "That's just a guy and a girl." Me: "yeah, that's it. Jack plays guitar and Meg plays drums." Daddy: "Wow! I can't beleive that! They sound like a whole band. Just the two of 'em huh? That's amazing... put on that "bosom" song..." Me: "It's called "Lord Send Me An Angel." Daddy: "Yeah, that's the one, play that." -- So it seems my father is a newly converted Candy Cane Child... in his late 40's. Hoorah! Which proves, your never to old to be a Candy Cane Child. :) -- All of this makes me happy and out-weighs some of the awful shit that's gone on lately. Woo Hoo! -- More White Stripes quizzes.. You're "De Stijl." You're deeply intellectual, and most people find you very engaging, if a little serious. However, you are also known to at times cut loose and just have fun. Which White Stripes album are you? brought to you by Quizilla One More Cup Of Coffee, "The White Stripes" Which song by THE WHITE STRIPES are you? brought to you by Quizilla wow you do know the white stripes but this wasnt that hard! what do you really know about the white stripes? brought to you by Quizilla 64145 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 4:18 | Comments [0] Friday, May 2, 2003 I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself. edit This isn't going the way I thought it would, in my head. None of it. I have so many mixed emotions right now. I love my father, no doubt about that but... he just brings so much good and evil in our lives all at the same time. Oh hell... I just hate seeing some of the shit i've seen in the last day or two. Brian's just... fuck... this tears me up. -- Then there's me... I'm not so good. I find myself in a very self-loathing situation. Nothing seems to bring me out of it (not even Jack & Meg) Guilt is a shitty thing. And I have loads. -- Something that did make me smile, last night I was talking to a very dear friend of mine about Mike Pitt's movie, "The Dreamers"coming out and he goes, "you do know that I think Michael Pitt really is hot, don't you?" He actually used the word "hot"! He goes, "Sometimes I just get jealous of him, that's what I wish I looked like." I smiled a huge smile... Awww!! AND he's straight! Even cuter. OK, that's all the happiness i've had in the last 2 days. Well, not really, but a happiness that I can be proud of. *sigh* twelve minus two equals ten. And in the famous words of Jack White... "boomdagle rumblefuss charpenhurper fortusblend and cateldragon." 64097 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 19:02 | Comments [0] Too Much Junkie Buisness edit I fucked up... again. [music] Grinnin' In Your Face -Son House "Junk is not, like alcohol or weed, a means to increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a kick. It is a way of life." --William S. Burroughs 64053 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 10:32 | Comments [0] Thursday, May 1, 2003 HELP! edit Well well, well... look who finally surfaced. Yes that's correct. My Father. With no explanation why he called from Atlanta. He claims, he has no idea why it showed up that way. He even went as far as to show me the bus ticket with departure time/date/place. Hmmmm... I don't know. Whatever. I gave him the down low on rules for staying with us. ie: NO DRUGS in the house, NO harassing the neighbors no matter how attractive they are, DO NOT talk about drugs/prostitues/illigal activity in front of his grandson, NO long distance calls, and I will NOT be driving him to pick up any prescriptons. With that all said and done, we had a lovely drive home. It really is nice seeing him. I missed him. We did get off to a hell of a start though. Yesterday I got a UPS delivery to him... from the Nebraska Department of Corrections pharmacy. It was a small package containing a bottle of Klonipin.... a benzo. much stronger than xanax, valium or atavan... Brian and I figured he owed it to us so we took some. I took one Brian took 2. We both passed the fuck out. I don't like them at all. It was nothing more than a super-strong sleeping pill. If I don't get warm, fuzzy and itch a lot, it ain't worth it. Upon receiving the package, I said to myself, "well, Daddy will show up any day now because he knew this would be coming." Soooo... I brought them too him as I knew he would be out and he was very grateful. He was in a minor withdrawal. I am told benzo withdrawal can be just as bad as the worst 3am narcotic hell (get my Permanent Vacation refrence?) He downed 4 of them without water. Needless to say he's sleeping right now. What did he say before shutting the door to take his nap? "I'll get us some Dilaudid tonight." *slam* I didn't have time to utter...."NOooooooooooooo." Fuck. The devil is at work here. How do I say no to it? I need strength. This is SO incredibly wrong. Tussionex would be diffrent. It's just a nice innocent cough medicaion. Fuck Brian's home.. gotta go! 63870 | Posted by whtlitewhtheat at 12:17 | Comments [0]