Red Planet

View Date: November 11th, 2000

Cast :

Writer: Chuck Pfarrer   

Director: Antony Hoffman

Red Planet is a movie about a search for something new, amidst a dying existence.  This plot description parallels the film industry’s search for that next new, hip and original touch in movies.  Unfortunately, most filmmakers feel that the way to do this is to modify and rehash an existing idea, rather than coming up with something on their own.  Projects like Being John Malkovich and Pi show that there is new blood in Hollywood, but they are the exception rather than the norm, as most people are in it for the buck rather than the art of creativity. Red Planet has a nice visual touch, not near as good as its predecessor Mission to Mars, but like a child prodigy’s finger painting, the great potential and vision it shows lacks any kind of depth or substance and ultimately crumbles upon itself into an abyss of dull absurdity.

The plot is fairly simply, yet rehashed from most space travel movies.  Either they have to rescue someone, or save humanity or in this case, it would be the second option.  A crew of ragtag astronauts and scientists are sent to Mars to discover a secret to help save humanity.  Seeing this crew, including a scene where they create a distillery from lab equipment, made me have as much faith in them saving the universe, as I would have watching a Florida government’s bingo night.  We are given the obligatory introductions and intermingling, which are obviously going to come back into play later, so if you’re interested in following this film at all, get their early, and take notes.  There are the necessary humor scenes, usually courtesy of Kilmer who gets to be cute, funny and somehow tries to be touch and loveable as well. The rest of the interplanetary explorers suffer the same fate as the unrecognizable crew member on Star Trek episodes, becoming nothing more than victims whose demise is more a matter of when, instead of if.   There is of course the romantic touch, between Kilmer and the Matrix’s Moss, who is reduced to pacing around in a series of panicked soliloquies once the others become stranded on the planet.  The main problem is that none of this ever comes together, becomes coherent, or ever seems to serve any real purpose.  Just for excitement purposes, we are given a military robot, which just has to come back into play, plus some exploding bugs, mechanical problems and, oh yeah, some personality conflicts between the crew.  Obviously they were arguing over who got to die first and escape having to read anymore lines from the dreadful screenplay.  This screenplay is a mess, flowing choppily from scene to scene, from planet to ship, etc.  None of the characters are given any reason for us to care about them, save the fact that we don’t really want anyone stranded in space (except for Pauly Shore, N’Sync, Vanilla Ice, and these writers).  Kilmer is the only one who is given anything interesting to say or do (including the only thing to generate any emotion from, his line about Algebra finally serving him well during an initial surveillance of the planet, and the simplicity of the tale is morosely dragged over two hours.  The three cinematic R’s of space and war movies are present, romance, rebellion and rescuer.  The effects, the only saving grace of the other Mars movie, are nothing to get excited about, nor are they really that bad.  While Mission
had some nice space sequences, and a unique look on the actual planet, this one has some average space shots, and a planet that looks like the wilds of Utah shot through a sepia tinted lens.  Unfortunately, changing the hue of the look cannot hide the lack of anything interesting for the characters to say or do.   The makers obviously wanted to focus on the story, rather than visuals, but someone in the writing department didn’t get this message.

Ultimately, Red Planet almost makes Mission to Mars tolerable, because as inane and predictable as Mission was, at least it kept my attention and gave me something appealing to distract me away from the lack of anything intelligible coming from the characters mouths.  There can be a delicate balance between effects-laden movies, and special effects showcases.  The director should watch the Alien series then consult Mr. Cameron, and Mr. Lucas (sans Phantom Menace) regarding how to do this.   Hopefully, Hollywood has learned that in the search for the secret of life, or even anything intelligent out there, that by looking off into space, the simplicity of what lies right in front of you blinds you.  Make us care about the human race, and about the people saving it, use the effects as support, if you want the story to be noticed, but at least give us a story to be noticed.  Bury this in the red sand next to it’s Mission counterpart and pray that at least someone making these films gets the message.($ out of $$$$)

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