Brandy’s eyes fluttered opened and she saw blue and yellow spots dance through her vision. Squeezing her eyes shut and blinking rapidly, she finally determined that she was alone in her bed. Her body felt out of sync with her mind when she had to beg herself to get up. She sat her feet on the floor and pulled herself up. Her knees turned to Jell-O but she caught hold of the bedpost and held herself up.
She moped toward the doorway, her body shaking like she was freezing but truthfully she was burning up. Once in the kitchen she took some Excedrin and headed back to bed.
She closed her eyes as she entered her room because the sun always beat through the window and filled the room with its luminescence at this time of day. Blindly, she made her way back over to her bed, only opening her eyes when she had the sun blocked out with her blankets. When she did open her eyes AJ lay next to her, smiling as if he had achieved something special. She didn’t smile back.
“What’s wrong,” he asked her as his smile faded.
“Nothing,” she answered honestly. She was really just too weak to have a reaction. “I don’t feel good.”
“Shaky,” he asked. She nodded. “Weak, headache?” She nodded. “You’ll be starving in a minute,” he laughed at her.
She rolled over, her back to him. This was anything but a joke to her. She felt like she was going to die. And the way she had treated her father. It broke her heart to even remember the look he gave her when she came home this morning. And AJ couldn’t whip that damned smirk off of his lovely little face. She wanted so badly to ring his scrawny little neck.
“Aww, I’m sorry baby,” he giggled, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. She scooted away from his grip. “What,” he snapped.
His wishy-washy ways were one thing; this hot, cold attitude was killing her. Yesterday morning she felt so beautiful and loved by his presence and now this morning, this morning she felt like his slut.
“Please leave,” she whispered.
He sighed as he left the room. A single tear slid down her cheek as he shut the door.
How could I have ever even thought I could be in love with him?
^^^^^^^^
“Mama, where’s Brandy,” Katy asked as she walked down the hallway. Ella sighed heavily. “You Father said she has opted to stay in bed today.”
Katy tripped over a shoe right outside Brandy’s door before she opened it. The shoe in her hand, she walked over and sat on the edge of her bed.
“How many times do I have to tell you to keep your shoes to yourself? No one else wants these things but you. You are the only one with a size six and a half foot in the house.”
Brandy smiled at her sister’s attempt to cheer her up.
“I heard you had fun last night,” she tried to initiate the conversation.
“I had a blast,” Brandy replied, sarcasm heavy in her tone. She turned over on her other side so her sister couldn’t see her face. Katy waited for Brandy to continue.
“He took me out to this club and we danced. He drank a few drinks but of course I passed that up. Then he gave me these pills. Oh my God, Katy, they had me all messed up. My mind was on a completely different level.”
“Why’d you take them,” Katy asked sternly.
“Because I trust him.”
“You trust his taste in illegal drugs,” she half yelled. “Brandy please tell me, no I know for a fact you have better sense than that. Why did you have to be so stupid? You knew from the very beginning that it was a mistake.” She paused for a second, trying to come to some sort of reasoning. “Brandy, how could you trust him?”
Brandy sat up and faced her sister, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Katy, I love him,” she cried. “I love him even now. I don’t know why. It’s unexplainable. I love him more than he deserves to be loved.”
Her sister looked at her, understandingly.
“And he doesn’t give a damn about me,” she sobbed. Katy held her arms out and Brandy fell to her embrace.
^^^^^^^^
AJ was right, she was now starving. She and her three sisters sat at a round table at Delilah’s and talked while they waited patiently for their food. She had told all her sisters the entire story, as she didn’t usually make it a habit of keeping secrets from them, but she absolutely refused to cry anymore.
As the waitress finally brought their food out, Brandy thanked Jesus.
Everyone listened attentively as Crystal told about college and Florida. She went on about the good-looking men and all her adventures with them. It wasn’t long before they had finished and were laughing at her telling them about her sorority sisters.
Once they were home, the four of them decided to lie out by the pool. Kevin, AJ, and Brian had gone on their own little outing today, so their mother had informed them.
Brandy turned onto her stomach when she started to feel her skin burning. She looked up at her window and was reminded of when she was gawking at AJ down her swimming. She was startled when she saw AJ’s smiling face looking down at her from the window.
“What was he doing in her room,” she thought as she sat her book down and made her way into the house. She ran up the stairs and straight to her room. When she opened the door her room was empty. She slammed the door shut and stomped down the hall to AJ’s room.
Opening the door, she found him standing there in nothing but a towel wrapped about his waist, lower than necessary.
“Why were you in my room,” she asked through clenched teeth.
“In your room? I wasn’t in your room. You were just dreaming about me, baby. Anyway I was about to get a shower, do you wanna come with,” he smiled seductively.
She stepped forward, closing the gap between them.
“McLean, I’m not a whore. I’m not your whore or anyone else’s. Do you understand me,” she said rather calmly.
“I understand completely,” he smiled, touching a tasseled piece of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. “I know you’re not a whore. No one has called you a whore. But,” he paused, looking into her eyes. “you are mine.” With that he enveloped her waist with his arm and took her lips possessively.
Brandy had no idea what to do. Her mixed feelings tumbled around recklessly in her head. Her arms reached up to wrap around his neck but they never made it. When she reached his shoulders she pushed him away.
Breathlessly, she fell into a chair. She looked up at him with lost eyes.
“Why,” she whispered. “Why all this. I don’t understand at all.”
“Why all what?”
“What do you mean what? AJ you confess your love for me, you make me feel beautiful, you treat me like an angel, and then you give me drugs to sleep with you! Especially when you knew I would have gone to you freely. But now, only now, after all this am I yours, your possession. Hell, you even determine what I did and did not see!”
She folded her arms and rested back in the chair, feeling better now that she had said what was causing her so much stress.
“Brandy I gave it to you because I like it, not because I was trying to get some ass. Be honest and tell me you didn’t enjoy yourself. Tell me that last night you didn’t enjoy every second that went by.”
She didn’t say anything. “That’s what I thought. I didn’t mean to upset you, or hurt you, or cause you any kind of stress. I’m sorry,” he pleaded, taking her hand in his.
The sincerity in his eyes made her heart melt. She knew she shouldn’t but she couldn’t help it. Those eyes were the windows to heaven. Like beautiful answers to all her prayers. He heart cried I love you, but she never opened her mouth.
She stood up in front of him and rubbed her thumb over his cheek. He pressed his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. He kissed her nose and she smiled.
“That’s the smile I love,” he grinned.
“This is the AJ I love.”
