Do you sew patches on the street corners while annoyingly begging for cigarettes, cheap beer, and money from pedestrians?--Gutter Punks and Hippies

Do you adorn sixties clothes to your skinny body, persistently collect sixties records, and complain about c.d.'s on the Bomp list?--Garage Snob

Is your hair spikey-topped, while 90% of your flesh is etched with tatoos? Naturally, you hang out with the MTV V.J.'s.--Corporate Punk

Do you eternally wear flannel (even during the summer)and turn your ears towards the grunge of the early ninties?--Grunge Rocker

Are you being booked for a weapon possesion charge, after hangin' with your favorite hip-hop posse?--Rapper Wannabe

Do you hang out at the local java dive, nervously jittering in your brand new leather jacket (that your parents bought),while smoking cloves to calm your nerves?--New Wave Reviser

Do you slick your hair back while complaining that nobody else properly perfects the authentic 1940's swing dance style?--Swing Dance Snob

Do you wish that your 1950's shoes will never end up being outdated?--Rockabilly Snob

Is your retro intense reverb and fuzz pedals broken to the point of having to give up on your instrumental band because modern equipment will ruin your sound?--Surf Snob

'77 British punk is all that matters?--U.K. Punk Snob

'77 New Yawk punk is all that matters?--New York Punk Snob

thee ANTiHiPSTER

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