A Career Move

"ROCK AND ROLL DID NOT EXIST BEFORE JANUARY 1964!" (Lester Bang's reaction to THE BEATLES)

Loud mouth rock critic, Lester Bangs, simply did not give a damn about the human hip swivel action figure of the religious like cultural icon, Elvis Pressley. You see, in pre-nineteen hundred and sixty four, Bang's ear was perched towards the "beat" sounds via PARKER, COLTRANE, MINGUS, etc. Drug induced sonic vibrations could not simply include the person the rest of the world called "The King of Rock and Roll," Elvis.

Imagine if ELVIS was still alive, yet born on a much later day... maybe December 2, sometime in the late seventies to the early eighties. Elvis would be sprung forward to the "Age of the Spears," or more precisely, Britney Spear's birthday.

As a disclaimer, I shall inform the reader that I only know Miss Spear's birthdate, because it coincidentally happens to land on the same birthdate as Alexander Haig's, and mine.

So what does all this drivel lead to? I will tell you all that if Elvis had survived his fatal prescription drug induced heart stoppage of 1977, then jumped into a time machine, and miraculously had realigned his age with Britney's, they would have sounded dangerously similar.

Take all of this information another step forward, and allow to me re-iterate Lester, indirectly. In 1964, before the later to be despised Yogi Bear meets the flower children (a reference to THE BEATLES turned hippies), Bang's started his obsessed career/hobby of aching his ears with rock and roll vinyl, administer the unreccomended dossage of drugs, and allowing his flambouyant jaw, and/or pen to do the talking.

Roots of Garage Rock Rippoff Riffs

"That was also when I got back into those junior jive YARDBIRD imitators (ie, SHADOWS OF THE KNIGHT, and THE COUNT FIVE) in a big way." Creem Magazine, June 1971.

Lester Bang's harmonical jawlings were publically cannonized, which was exhibited with his high school buddies' garage rock outfit, FALLEN ANGEL. Anyway,"Lester the Jester," manage to drunkenly proceed towards this pack of "Louie Louie-o-files," and ended up stumbling around onstage, practicing to the greatest hits in the very breif history of garage rock and roll. Rock and roll of the real form had been argueably conceived a couple of years earlier with the likeness of THE BEATLES, THE ROLLING STONES, and most importantly, THE YARDBIRDS.

Anyway, Lester was in dire need of a vocal tune-up, before gracing the stage in his later day bands. BIRDLAND, and even his very breif TEXAN project, which plugged his name, LESTER BANGS, in front of the Word DELINQUIENTS.

In reality, FALLEN ANGEL was a part time nose dive into being a rock and roll circus master. And what is a better way to have a apprenticeship, copping tunes from the primo band of the year, 1965, THE YARDBIRDS?

Say what you want about Lester's genious and/or jive. Just you the reader, remember, Lester's sentence with FALLEN ANGEL showed the equivilance of a part-time McDonalds fry cook trying to make a lifelong career out of this thankless task.

Not meaning to totally assassinate a dead man's character, I must state that Bang's insite towards the future is wrapped up in one word... PLAGERISM! Bangs had already noticed that FALLEN ANGEL, in addition to many others, were covering songs of the bands who blatently changed a note or two.

Listen further! A story of masicism is suddenly archived. Lester actually admits to being mesmorized by all of this robbery. Yes, this written form of plagerism has a good beat. Yes, it make Bangs want to "jump, jive, and hormonize." Yes, yes, yes says Lester. This is the future of rock and roll. It just does not matter as long it has a good beat and is catchy. Style can be as important as your future press release, but remember, ATTITUDE IS A HELL LOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN STYLE! WITHOUT THE ATTITUDE, YOU BLANKLY GAZE AT A ERSATZ AUDIENCE.

(the ANTiHiPSTER)

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© Copywrite 2002 by Angus T. McWhorter. All rights reserved.