Title: Thinking of you: You and Me Writer: Xphila Rating: G Keywords: MSR/Memories/Vignette Spoilers: Duane Barry/Ascension/One Breath, FTF, Beginning, Minor for Season 6 but not specific. Feedback: Pretty Please? or hit reply! Writer's notes: The sequel to Behind Closed Doors and I can honestly say by request. FLUFF WARNING. ---------------------- You and Me Xphila ------------------------- I find it really strange when I get nervous. I don't very often and I hate the feeling. It makes me feel sick and makes it hard to breathe. I am glad I don't get it very often. Well, I get nervous often, but not these kind of nerves I'm suffering now. These are pre-date nerves. The worst kind. The very worst. I admit it. I'm scared. I'm terrified. But I shouldn't be. I really shouldn't be. My date's my friend. My very good friend, my best friend. Maybe that's what makes it even scarier...I don't know. What I do know is that the man who is taking me out is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Mulder is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love him. That's it! It's the expectation. And the thought of what he expects of me. That's what's causing me the panic. But I do love him. I'm sure of that. I think I could even pin point the moment fell in love with him. The first time I saw him, my first coherent thoughts were, 'He Is Cute'. But I think I really fell for him when he stayed with me the night I woke up after my abduction. When he told me I had the strength of my beliefs. That was it. Every time I think of how he said it, the way his voice shook, I fall even deeper. I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know I was madly in love with him. It was quite a while before I realised. When I did it was when I held him beside the bed of his dying mother. I realised that I wanted to be able to comfort him every day for the rest of our lives. I wanted to be with him every day for the rest of our lives. And I desperately wanted to save him from the pain he was going through. I know a lot of people at work think we already are together. Well, now I guess they're half right. We're getting there. I look over at Mulder, he looks gorgeous. And nervous. About as nervous as I feel. He smiles at me and tells me it's stupid. I agree, we both know what he means. There are so many times we've held each other. And no-one knows about them. I'd like to keep it that way. When I comforted him at the hospital, no-one bothered us. I think that was Skinner's doing. Come to think of it, a lot of our private, close, moments have been in hospitals. I know Mulder fell in love with me in a hospital. I remember when he came to see me after my abduction, late at night when Missy and Mom had left. That was when he fell in love with me. I was already in love with him. Christ, that was five years ago. I've loved him for five years when he felt the same way and we never said anything. We were stupid. Despite still being pretty deep in my own thoughts, I'm also having a conversation with Mulder. It's interesting. I should be paying more attention but my memories are captivating and I think I should know when I fell in love with him seeing as we're on a date. Wow, a date. That sounds weird. But then, maybe I've just been on my own too long. I remember his face when I told him I was talking to a guy on the internet. He was jealous. I had to keep to myself that it was a ten year old boy who had somehow got hold of my e-mail address and was telling me how cool it must be to be a FBI Agent. He really is gorgeous. When did I start thinking that about him? I'm sure it's not healthy. Especially as this is a first date. First date. That's somewhat of a joke. Our first date after being in love for however many years. I remember when he put his arms round me with no warning last year. After he had basically betraying me in favour of Diana Fowley. He didn't say anything. Didn't apologise, but at the time it set my mind a little to rest. It made me able to breath again. Mulder asks me what I'm thinking and I realise I must have been smiling. I look up at him, and tell him I was remembering something he did. He nods. He knows I'm doing what he was earlier. Remembering the past. Or more accurately, remembering our past. I place my hand on his. I can tell from the way he looks at me that he loves me more that I ever believed possible. He squeezes my hand. It's time to leave. We walk through the park and I'm sure I am in heaven. As corny as it sounds. The last time we walked through here was a year ago. A whole year, It feels like less. But then, a lot has happened in the last year and in some ways it feels like forever. He asks me what I'm remembering now. I wonder how he can read my mind. He tells me he was thinking of us and all we've done in the last six years, before he went to dinner. So that's how he knows. I tell him I'm remembering last summer. What happened last summer. We almost got it together then. We were so close. And then that damn bee stung me and everything else is a misty haze. Barely implanted in my memory. I'd give anything to remember what happened on the snow. I'd give anything to remember exactly what Mulder said to me after he resuscitated me. I know he whispered something. And I have my suspicious it was 'I love you'. But that will be forever a mystery because I'll never ask him. He turns me to him until we are in the same position we were in his hallway last year. He reaches down to kiss me and I reach up. For the time being I can ignore the annoyance of being barely more than five feet, and thank God that heels have been invented. His hands leave the sides of my face and trace down my body as mine wrap round his neck. That was the best kiss of my life. A while later I wonder if maybe I should have asked him in for coffee. His lips gently caress my naked shoulder. I smile and turn to face him. Maybe I should have asked that first... #END# Feedback: Greatly appreciated and put in the same place as my X Files videos :) Xphila@yahoo.com or hit reply.