Scullyisms

Last time you were so engrossed, it turned out you were reading Adult Video News.

This thing chewed somebody's arm off! That's not exactly a defensive posture!

Mulder! You may not be who you are!

I'm not gonna ask if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said.

I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours.

Are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream, Mulder?

You could have shown him a picture of a flying cheeseburger and he would have said that's what he saw.

It's an oxygen leak, even I can figure out what happens if they run out of oxygen.

Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.

That was Detective Manners. He said they just found your bleeping UFO.

I think the lack of discretion is the least of his sins.

I hate to say this, Mulder, but I think you just ran out of credibility.

Yeah, scorpions predigest their food outside of their body by regurgitating onto their prey, but...I don't know too many scorpions who surf the Internet.

I can't take you anywhere.

If I'm right, this is one man who left his heart in San Francisco.

Scully/Other

Mulder: How was the wedding?

Scully: You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?

Mulder: Do you believe in an after-life, Scully?

Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.

Scully: I notice you drop everything fast enough in order to help her out.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.

Scully: Oh is that what you were extending?

Scully: You've got that look on your face, Mulder.

Mulder: What look is that?

Scully: The kind when you've forgotten your keys and you're trying to figure out how to get back in the house.

Mulder: You have to admit that was exciting, Mission Control and all.

Scully: Yeah. Ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning to braid my own hair.

Mulder: Scully, are you familiar with subliminal messages?

Scully: You mean like sex in ice cubes in liquor ads? That's paranoia.

Mulder: I brought you something...Superstars of the Super Bowl.

Scully: I knew there was a reason to live.

Mulder: You see this helium balloon here and the only thing I learned in kindergarten is when you let them go they float up, up and away. But you see, this is moving away from him. Horizontally.

Scully: Did you learn about wind in kindergarten?

Mulder: (on possible suspects): Maybe it's just a...very disgruntled altar boy.

Scully: Well, that narrows down the field.

Scully: ...because they know they could drop you in the middle of a desert and tell you the truth is out there and you'd ask them for a shovel.

Mulder: Is that what you think of me?

Scully: Well, maybe not a shovel. Maybe a backhoe.

Mulder: Be honest, Scully. Doesn't that propane tak bear more than a slight resemblance to a fat little white Nazi stormtrooper?

Scully: Mulder, the human mind naturally seeks the meaningful patterns and configurations in things that don't inherently have any. Given the suggestion of a particular image, you couldn't help but see that shape somewhere. If that tank weren't there, you'd see it in a...in a rock or something.

Mulder: Did you answer my question?

Scully: Yes, it looks like a fat little white Nazi stormtrooper, but that only proves my point.

Mulder: Will you let me drive?

Scully: I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?

Mulder: No, I was just never sure your little feet would reach the pedals.

Scully: (mockingly): I'm a macho man...

Scully: Mulder, this town is insane.

Mulder: Where are you?

Scully: In a convenience store just outside...civilization.

Scully: (discussing the ability to reincarnate): Being obsessed with it doesn't mean you can do it.

Mulder: No, unless he knew something we didn't.

Scully: Like what, the magic password?

Mulder: If it's no bother-if it's not too big a deal-maybe you can get me a few photographs of that thing which bears absolutely no resemblance to a horned beast.

Scully: Sure. Fine. (Snaps on latex glove) Whatever.

Mulder: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with someone who is already naked.

Scully: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky.