Title: Finding Purpose (1/1)
Author: Kerry Lea
E-Mail Address: kerryleascully@home.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Vignette
Spoilers: Most of season 8
Keywords: Post-Existence, DRF, DSR, implied MSR, lots of D/S angst, mostly
Doggett POV
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, unfortunately. They all belong
to Chris Carter and 1013 even if they sometimes don't use them the way we
all wish they would. But, hey, that's what fanfic's for!
Summary: Doggett and Scully finally let down their barriers for one evening.
Archive: Please! Just ask first. Thanks!
Feedback: I'd love it, but be kind. This is my first fic.
Dedication: This dedicated to all the members of SHODDS. Without your input
this fic wouldn't be what it is now. You gave me the confidence to write and
post this. Thanks! You guys are the best *tear*! This is also for all the
rest of the Doggett-lovers and Dippers out there!


The key turned in the lock. John Doggett slowly opened the door as if
expecting someone to be behind it. The office felt cool. Cold in fact. Well,
it was in the basement. It seemed empty and lonely inside. Doggett felt like
a grown man returning to his childhood room after moving away. It was
unchanged since he had first seen it. The "I Want to Believe" poster was
still hanging behind Mulder's old desk. Various pictures from Mulder and
Scully's cases together, peppered with an occasional shot of the Loch Ness
monster or another random anomaly, lined the bulletin board. Actually it was
a bit tidier. And there was the new desk added. He wondered why Scully had
gone seven years in this office without a desk.

He stood in the doorway with a thick file under his arm. He slid his hands
into his pockets, collecting his thoughts of the past year. He took a deep
breath and let it out slowly. He felt so out of place here. Why had he
decided to stay? What purpose did he serve? Damned if he knew. But this was
to be his home for the next. God knows how many years. The thought of
heading the X-Files disturbed Doggett. He wasn't sure he could do it. He was
definitely sure he couldn't look at these cases with a level head the way
Mulder or Scully had. He had read every one of those files and it had all
seemed like a science fiction novel to him. Though he knew it was very real
to Scully. Scully's cancer, the death of her sister, the discovery of some
long lost daughter, and countless other ordeals: she had experienced it all
and lived through it all, to become someone undefeated. To become someone
whom Doggett adored and respected. The strength she exuded left him
dumbfounded. Then he witnessed times where she couldn't keep in all that
sadness and pain. It distressed him to see her so vulnerable. He tried to be
a shoulder for her to cry on, though he figured his wasn't the shoulder she
truly wanted.

He felt how much she missed Mulder. He knew Scully's far-fetched theories
were an attempt to keep Mulder's presence alive in the X-Files and
compensate for his absence. He knew she had trouble believing them herself
at times. But her blind belief and passion to get to the truth had drawn him
in, as he assumed Mulder's passionate beliefs had drawn her in when she came
to work with him. Scully had stayed on for Mulder. She had given everything
for him and suffered so much pain and loss. She sacrificed so much all for
Mulder. Doggett regarded that highly in her.

But could he do the same?

Doggett took a step into the office.

This had certainly been a year to remember. He thought back to when he had
first been assigned to head a task force to search for a missing FBI agent.
He recalled Deputy Director Kersh asking him if he had heard of Fox Mulder.
Who hadn't? His reputation preceded him and was entirely too accurate, as he
later found out.

Doggett was the kind of man who would sweat to solve a case and to find the
truth until all efforts had been expended. And even then there were ways he
found to keep at it. At first it was just an assignment, a missing persons
case that he would eventually solve. Until he met Scully and came to know
her.

Well, that first meeting had been somewhat problematic. He had heard all the
rumors about Mulder and Scully's close partnership. He dismissed them as
simply that. After all, he knew neither of them enough to believe or
disbelieve them. Doggett had lied to get what he wanted out of Scully. Or
maybe to see if those rumors really were true. When those stories of Mulder
confiding in other women hit a nerve, and Scully's cup of water was splashed
into his face, he knew there was definitely something to them. But that
water did a hell of a lot more than just get him wet. It struck a chord.

Scully's bold nature intrigued him. Her strength and energy fascinated him.
Her skills as an investigator astounded him. He relished working with her.
She was the reason he came to the office every day. She became his primary
reason for finding Mulder safe and alive. He wanted to save her from the
pain and anguish of searching so arduously for a loved one and finding them
dead. He knew that pain all too well.

He would give anything to protect her from feeling any ounce of pain. He
recognized this when he had held her sobbing and wounded in his arms. He had
wished he could take her away from all that hurt and suffering. He wanted to
be her pillar of strength, her tether to sanity when her world fell apart.

Then Mulder was "resurrected." Doggett knew nothing would ever be the same.
Scully was lost to him. He wasn't even sure she would come back to work.
Acrimony rose up in his chest.

He continually felt like a third wheel. Mulder and Scully had an intimate
relationship that he felt he could in no way even begin to enter into. He
longed to mean as much to Scully as Mulder meant to her, though he knew that
could never happened. He believed he would never live up to Mulder in her
eyes. Doggett's whole body burned with resentment at the thought. He wanted
so badly for her to understand what he was feeling. His resentment turned to
an ache. He ran a hand through his hair rigidly.

He leaned against the side of his desk and tossed the file onto it. He
stared at the oversized poster that adorned the wall in front of him.

Why was he feeling this way? Of course, he knew why. Though he didn't want
to admit it to himself. He hated the way he felt about everything these
days. But he couldn't brush it off. It ate at him every second. He sensed it
crawling under his skin. He felt it every time he looked into Scully's
intense blue eyes. But if looks could kill, he would've been six feet under
a long time ago.

The way she looked at him was mixed with so many things. Sometimes he'd see
mistrust. Sometimes anger or fear. Sometimes gratitude. But the way she
looked at Mulder. If she ever had looked at me that way, Doggett thought,
things might be quite different right now.

But they weren't. He thought they'd never be. Scully didn't need his touch
or assurance that everything would be all right anymore. Times had changed.
Doggett looked down at his feet sullenly, lost in his nostalgia.

"John?" a voice quietly called form the doorway.

Doggett turned toward the voice. He saw Reyes standing in the doorway, face
wrought with concern.

"Hey," he answered, turning back to the poster.

"When did you get here?" she asked, stepping into the room.

"A little while ago," he replied without looking at her.

"What are you doing here on a Saturday evening?" she asked again, puzzled.

"I should ask you the same thing," he replied. She smiled a little.

"I came in this morning. I just went out for a bite to eat about an hour
ago. I didn't think you'd be coming in," she answered and leaned beside him
at his desk. She nodded toward the file cabinets. "I came to read through
those files. I figured I get a head start on my new job."

The remark stunned him. It hit him like a ton of bricks. Doggett turned his
gaze from the poster and looked at Reyes sharply. He almost looked
surprised. Doggett knew he had assigned her to the X-Files, but it hadn't
felt completely definite that Scully may never be back. He was still half
expecting Scully to walk through the door. He looked at the ground and
swallowed hard. He moved to the chair beside the desk and sagged into it
slowly.

Reyes smiled vanished. Shit, she thought. She seemed to always end up saying
the wrong thing. Pity and shame washed over her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No," Doggett cut in. "It's not you. I just never. I don't think I'm quite
ready to be responsible for this office. And." He shook his head.

"What is it?" Reyes thought she might be able to get him to open up a
little. It was a very rare occasion when he really spoke about himself. But
Reyes was capable at getting him to communicate. After all, she had been
with him at his most vulnerable.

"Nothin'," he replied in almost a whisper. He grabbed the file from his desk
and moved to the cabinets. He opened a drawer and shoved the file somewhere
in the middle without thinking.

"Talk to me, John, " she said, standing up and stepping toward him.

"There's nothin' to say," he countered coolly. He shoved his hands into his
pockets. He began to build a wall around himself. She just stared at him.
She had sensed his feelings ever since that day when she had seen him
sitting outside Scully's autopsy room, his eyes glazed over with pain for
Scully. No before that even. When Reyes first saw them together she was
aware of something inside Doggett when he was around Scully. Reyes just had
to get Doggett to allow it to himself.

"It's Agent Scully, isn't it?" she spoke up with confidence.

He looked at her with surprise. How did she always seem to be able read his
mind?

He didn't answer.

"I know what you're feeling and so do you." She moved closer to him. "You
have to let it out. You push your emotions so far inside yourself. If you
want her to let you in, you have to let her in-"

"I don't have time for this," Doggett cut in. He set up his barrier like
always. He brushed past Reyes quickly and walked out the door. She hurried
after him to catch him in the hallway.

He quickened his pace to the elevator, angry with himself, angry with Reyes
for knowing what lurked deep in his mind. What right did she have to tell
him what to do when she wasn't in his situation? What right did she have to
assume it was all so simple? Her ability to simplify these sorts of things
irritated Doggett sometimes.

"John! Listen to me!" Reyes called, rushing after him. He ignored her. By
the time he had reach the elevator, Reyes was right beside him.

"You have to stop doing this to yourself," she said with a mix of irritation
and pity. She tried to catch his eyes as he looked from side to side trying
to avoid hers.

The elevator doors finally opened. Thank God, Doggett thought, and he slid
in quickly. Reyes put her hand on the sliding door to keep them from
closing.

"I can't let you keep this up," she uttered. She paused. Or hesitated. "You
care for Agent Scully. You should let her know your feelings. I know she
cares for you too."

He looked at his feet and put his hands on his hips. He knew she wouldn't
let him alone without hearing him say it. He gave up trying.

"It's not that simple," he replied. "You can't just solve this with one of
your 'feelings'. This is real life. There's no Hallmark card endin'. I wish
it were as easy as just admittin' it."

"But it is, John," she insisted. She met his eyes. "You should go see her.
It'd help both of you."

That hadn't occurred to him. He remembered about Scully's baby. Doggett had
never see the child. But he had wanted to see Scully so badly.

"I can't," he replied weakly.

"Why?'"

Doggett met her gaze. The torment in his face was so familiar. Reyes
understood. He yearned to see Scully, but he was afraid to know the answers
to so many questions he had and couldn't keep himself from asking.

She let go of the doors. Reyes and Doggett eyes' were fixed into each
others', Doggett's full of heart ache, Reyes' full of compassion, as the
elevator doors glided to a close between them.

    ~~~

Doggett sat on his couch, staring at his blank television screen. He was
still in his suit and he had been home for about a two hours. He had come in
and just fell into the couch, took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie.
And here he still sat, in the same position. He wasn't even thinking of
anything. Just staring into the black of his TV. His mind was numb with all
the thinking and reasoning he had done today. He didn't want to think
anymore; he just wanted to relax.

He looked at his watch. It read 8:07.

He got up slowly and headed toward his bedroom. He pulled off his tie and
unbuttoned his dress shirt, tossing them both on the bed. He stepped into
his bathroom and flicked the light on, figuring a nice, long shower would
make him a little less stressed. So he turned on the water.

    ~~~

The hot water soothed his tense muscles. He was sick of agonizing over so
many things. He needed to get away from it all. Maybe I need a vacation or
something, he thought. No, there's no time for that.

He ran his hand through his wet hair under the shower. Maybe Reyes was
right. Maybe he should pay Scully a visit. But what would he say? What
excuse could he have for going? To talk? It sounded like they were a couple.
They couldn't even stop calling each other "agent" most of the time.

He turned off the shower and opened the curtain. He ran his hand through his
hair and mussed it up, throwing water droplets everywhere around him. He
reached for the white towel that hung on the rack in front of him and ran it
over his face and body quickly, than wrapped it around his waist.

He walked back into the bedroom and sat on his bed. He felt he couldn't
shake his feelings if he didn't talk to Scully or at least see her. He made
his decision. He would go over to talk to her. He wasn't sure what he'd say
when he got there, but he'd figure it out. He grabbed some clothes and
slipped them on hastily. He wanted to get out of the house before he changed
his mind.

He stepped into his walk-in closet and reached for a pair of boots on a
shelf. As he grabbed them, he nudged a shoebox that sat next to them. It
came tumbling to the floor, landing upside-down. He reached down to put it
back, but as he turned it over he recognized it. Pain stung at his heart.
His legs couldn't hold him and he knelt down to the floor.

He took a deep breath and let it out gradually. He wiped off the dust from
the box cover. He hadn't looked in this for years now. But he still
remembered everything he'd put in it. He opened the box, his hands shaking a
bit as he placed the cover beside him and looked over the contents. His
breathing was shaky and low. He saw something on the bottom of the box and
pulled it out. He held it to his face and was consoled by its smell. He
looked at it with an eerie fondness and smiled weakly. Then it came to him.
He placed the cover back on the shoebox with all its contents intact, save
what he had in his hand, and put it back on the shelf.

He looked around him for an empty clothing box. He tossed shoes about, and
other random boxes, until he found a plain white clothing box. He opened it.
It contained a shirt he had gotten as a gift but he had never worn. He
walked out of the closet and threw the shirt on his bed. He placed the item
in the box. Perfect.

He knew he had some wrapping paper somewhere around the house. Probably in
the hall closet. He opened it and fumbled around coats and various other
items. On the floor lay two rolls of paper. One was covered with red and
green stripes. The other was plain white, a kind of all occasion wrapping.
He wrapped the box in white. In a small shoebox near them laid a few
ribbons. He grabbed a blue ribbon and stuck it on the top of the present.

He looked at his wrapping job. It wasn't all that bad. He sighed and
wondered if he should do this. Grazing his hand over the packaging, he knew
he had to.

He grabbed his keys and jacket, put the gift under his arm and headed to the
door. He paused, holding the doorknob. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

Reyes' words to him echoed back in his mind. Then he thought of Scully.

He pushed the door open and stepped out to face all his uncertainties.

    ~~~

Doggett walked slowly down the hallway toward Scully's apartment.
He wanted to see her, but he wanted to delay actually speaking to her. Why
the hell was he so nervous? He didn't know what he'd say, which scared him.
He always had the right words for a situation. He was always confident with
himself. But he had never planned for this. It was a complete new territory.

He reached the door and knocked. No turning back now. He put his gift under
his arm and wiped his clammy hands against his jeans. He noticed someone
looking through the peephole and hid the present behind his back.

The doorknob turned. His stomach tightened, and his heart beat faster. He
held his breath. The door opened. Scully stood in the doorway, that one
eyebrow raised in surprise. He exhaled all the air in his lungs. Damn,
Doggett thought, she looks. amazing.

"Agent Doggett?" she said, in a somewhat inquisitive voice, a bit taken
aback. She wondered what had brought about this sudden visit.

"Hey," he replied, smiling uneasily. "Is this a bad time?"

"No. No, not at all. Come on in," she answered opening the door and ushering
him in.

Doggett stepped in. He had been in her apartment before, but he always felt
like a stranger here. Like it was someone else's terrain he was encroaching
upon.

She watched him enter as if he hadn't been there. He turned to face her. She
looked him up and down. He wore slim-fitting jeans and a close-fitting navy
blue T-shirt.

They both stood there waiting for the other to say something. They felt as
if they'd had some kind of torrid affair, uncomfortable and unsure of how to
act toward each other.

"Would you like something to drink?" Scully spoke up. She asked out of
courtesy, but she really wanted to know what this visit was about. Doggett
was usually direct and honest and confident, but now it seemed he was
standoffish and reserved.

"Yeah, thanks," he answered quickly. Scully paused, and then moved past him
toward the kitchen.

"You can sit down, if you'd like," she said on her way, looking back at him.
He smiled a bit at his awkwardness and sat down on her couch. He slipped the
present between himself and a pillow, trying to hide it from Scully. He
leaned his forearms on his thighs and folded his hands together.

"I wasn't quite expecting a guest," Scully called with her head inside the
fridge. The comment could've sounded irritated but instead she said it with
a pleasant tone.

"All I've got is water," she said, poking her head out from behind the
refrigerator door.

"That's fine," Doggett answered, and swallowed hard. His mouth was
completely dry.

Scully returned to the living room with two glasses of spring water. She
handed one to Doggett as she sat beside him on the other side of the couch.

"Thanks," he said, taking it and putting it to his lips. He took a long,
slow gulp.

They sat on opposite sides of the sofa, toying with the glasses in their
hands.

"Well. Agent Doggett, this is a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe this
unexpected visit?" Scully said, casting a small grin Doggett's way.

Doggett looked at her and grinned too. He didn't feel as uneasy anymore. Her
smile melted him.

"I came to see you," Doggett said. "And little J. Edga. Where is he?"

Scully was snapped back into the fact that she was a mother. That her son
was sleeping soundly in his crib in the next room. It felt so odd and yet so
perfect at the same time. She smiled again. In fact she beamed.

"He's sleeping," she replied with a soft tone, putting down her glass on the
coffee table. She looked to her bedroom door. She hadn't quite gotten the
baby room finished, and had put her son's crib in her bedroom to be closer
to him if he needed her.

"I also came to give you something," Doggett added, hesitantly. He put his
glass down on the table, too. He reached beside him for the gift he had
hidden from her. He pulled it out and handed it to Scully.

Her eyes opened wide. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. She took the
gift from his hand slowly.

"Doggett, you didn't have to do this," Scully almost whispered. She smiled
and ran her delicate hand over the wrapping paper. She held it so carefully;
as if she thought it would shatter with a single breath.

"It's just something I thought you should have," Doggett remarked, folding
his hands together and leaning forward. He studied her as she looked over
his present.

She reached for the bow. He sucked in a breath.

Suddenly, a loud cry came from Scully's bedroom.

Scully's head snapped toward the bedroom. Her focus changed and she put the
gift beside her, standing up.

"I'm sorry. I'll be right back," she said to Doggett, backing toward the
bedroom. She turned and hurried in to rescue her son.

Doggett let out the breath he had been holding in.

He heard the cries of Scully's baby. Then he heard her soothing voice
contrast so tremendously with the sobs as she picked the boy up to soothe
him. Doggett was drawn to the bedroom by Scully's soft whispers. He realized
how much he missed the sound.

He stood up from the couch and moved to the bedroom door. Scully's back was
toward him as she cradled her son. His cries lessened into whines. Doggett
leaned against the doorframe and smiled. His worry and unease had gone. He
felt comfortable and content. The image he looked at felt. whole.

Scully turned around to see Doggett watching her. She didn't feel
uncomfortable or embarrassed or even surprised. She just smiled at him. A
real smile, a full-hearted smile.

Doggett stepped into the room. He approached Scully and looked down at the
newborn in her arms. He was no longer crying but his face was twisted in
upset, and he whined.

"Can I.?" Doggett asked offering his arms.

"Of course," Scully replied. She leaned into Doggett and handed him the
baby. Doggett took him in his arms. He didn't hold the infant as a new
father with his first child would, unwieldy and too nervously. He held him
with an ease and security that almost made Scully cry, too. She knew he had
probably done this many times before.

"Hey, there-" Doggett said looking to Scully expectantly.

"William, " she answered confidently.

"Hey there, William," Doggett finished in a tone so gentle yet so strong. He
ran a finger under William's chin.

William's sobbing began to subside. Scully knew the security of Doggett's
arms. She understood how her son felt in them.

William's big blue eyes opened wide and one tear rolled down his cheek.
Doggett brushed it away lightly with a small grin. The small child reminded
Doggett of Luke, especially William's bright blue eyes. He recalled looking
into his son's eyes the first night he and his wife had brought him home.
Luke had started crying the moment they both had fallen asleep. His wife
could sleep through anything. Doggett had rushed to his son's crib and
rocked him back to sleep. The memories changed Doggett's happy smile into a
bittersweet one.

Scully's saw the change in Doggett's face. She knew why. She had lost a lot
in her life, a father, a sister, and even a daughter. Though Emily had only
been in her life a short while. She hadn't felt that Emily was entirely
hers. If she lost William. She couldn't imagine the pain she would feel. She
couldn't even conceive of the heartache Doggett carried. Scully put her hand
on Doggett's arm and moved closer to him.

Doggett looked up to meet Scully's eyes with a sorrowful smile. He needed
that gesture so much. He knew she recognized that. He smiled sadly at her
with gratitude, but he didn't speak. She returned a supportive smile. Words
they both wanted to say went unspoken because they already knew each other's
thoughts.

Doggett returned his gaze to the baby. He looked at it with such affection,
Scully noted.

"He's gorgeous, Scully" Doggett remarked, rocking the baby slowly.

"Thank you," she replied. She looked down at William.

William's eyes closed with the gentle swaying.

Looking at Doggett now, with her son falling asleep in his arms, she saw a
rare side of him. A side she wished she could see more of. He had no hard
exterior, no furrowed brow, no narrow mindedness that drove her crazy. He
was just John Doggett. True, those other things were him too, but now she
saw what was beneath them all. And she was awestruck by his beauty. Scully
smiled unconsciously.

She looked at William in her partner's arms. He had fallen asleep. He looked
so peaceful. Scully couldn't take her eyes off the two of them. The silence
in the room was so rich and full, neither Scully nor Doggett wished to break
it. But they knew they couldn't stand in this serene quiet eternally.

"Maybe I should put him back in his crib," Doggett spoke up first, softly.
He looked to Scully, who was staring lovingly at William.

"Yeah," Scully answered, half-heartedly. She didn't turn her eyes away from
her son.

Doggett moved to the crib. He paused, with a long look at the sleeping
infant in his arms. He grinned. Leaning over, he carefully placed William in
his crib. The baby made a small whine then fell back asleep. Doggett stood
up and put his hands on the rail of the crib.
Scully joined him, putting her hands on the rail too.

They both stared at the resting baby before them. Scully's eyes were filled
with pride and joy. She couldn't believe she had come this far. Doggett's
eyes were full of satisfaction and happiness. But, there were still traces
of sadness hiding in them.

Scully remembered something. She looked out of the door.

"Hold on," Scully said, going out to the living room. Doggett's eyes
followed her out and waited patiently on the door for her to return. She was
gone only for a second and returned with something in her hand. It was
Doggett's gift.

She came to his side.

She began unwrapping the gift slowly but eagerly. What could he possibly
have given me? she thought. She tossed the wrapping paper in a garbage
basket nearby.

Doggett watched her with amusement. She looked like a little girl at
Christmas opening her first present. But as she reached to pull the cover
off the box his stomach tightened again. He swallowed hard.

Scully pulled off the box top. She looked into the package.

Her mouth dropped open.

"Doggett." her voice trailed off. She removed a small light blue and yellow
crocheted blanket from the box. She put the box on her bed and moved back to
Doggett.

"It was my son's. My mother crocheted it for him. My wife and I took him
home from the hospital wrapped in it. Luke wouldn' get rid of it as he got
older. He couldn' go away without it. He still kept it in his bed until."
Doggett couldn't bring himself to finish.

"I can't accept this," she spoke, in almost a breathless tone. She held the
soft blanket in her hands and looked up at Doggett, her face filled with
apprehension. He smiled down at her.

"No.I want you to have it. I want Will to have it. It's not doin' any good
sittin' in an old box collectin' dust in my house. I figured you'd need it,"
he replied as an answer to her questioning eyes. She seemed more upset than
he was.

"Here," he said reassuringly, and held his hands out for the blanket.
Looking at it tenderly, she gave it to him.

Doggett leaned down into Will's crib and covered him with the blanket,
tucking it in around his tiny body. He ran a large hand over Will's small
head gingerly, lingering to rub his thumb over the wisps of blonde hair on
his forehead. He paused in the moment. He stood back up, clearing his
throat. He dropped his hands by his side and looked down at his feet.

Scully noticed the change in his demeanor. She placed a hand on his lower
back. He turned to her. She saw his eyes filled with the threat of tears
falling. She had never seen him like this before. It hurt. He had been so
strong for her when she needed it. She remembered the many times he had
helped keep those tears in and the other times he had let her cry them out.
Scully hated the weakness she had felt in Mulder's absence and how Doggett
had yielded to it. Now she wanted to be a shoulder for him to cry on, as he
had been for her.

She moved into him and wrapped her arms around him. She laid her head
against his shoulder.

He was taken aback a bit. The hug she gave him wasn't forced or awkward as
their last had been. It was warm and tender. He enfolded his arms around her
and pulled her closer to him.

They melded into each other forgetting the tears and the pain they both
carried. Scully thought to herself that his touch was so unlike Mulder's. It
had a something Mulder's lacked. Something she liked.

Scully closed her eyes.

He could've stayed in the moment forever.

Doggett's heart beat a little faster. Scully felt it against her.

Scully leaned back away but left her arms around him. Her eyes were still
closed. She opened them. Doggett saw tears clouding their radiant blue.

Scully smiled at him again.

"Thank you," was all she said, tears choking the words. But the two simple
words held so much. They weren't only for the blanket he'd given her, but
they were for all the gifts he had already given her: strength, hope, even
love.

She blinked and a lone tear trickled down her cheek. Doggett reached his
hand to her face. With a smile, he cupped the cheek in his hand and brushed
away the tear.

"You're welcome," he replied and drew her back into the hug. They pulled
each other close.

Maybe Scully didn't need his encouraging words and comfort like she did
before. but she still wanted it.

They heard Will whine a little.

Scully grinned, and then laughed softly, switching her head from one of
Doggett's shoulders to the other to see Will better, her hair brushing
Doggett's chin. He smirked. He had never heard her laugh before. He was
overjoyed that he finally got to.

They simultaneously separated themselves. Scully reached down to Will and
stroked his cheek.

"Shhh. It's alright," she whispered to him. He started to fall back asleep

"Probably just a bad dream," Doggett said.

Scully yawned discreetly. Doggett looked at his watch. It now read 10:26.
What time had he gotten here? How long had they been standing here? It
seemed so short.

"Maybe I should go. You need you rest. And so does that beautiful son of
yours," Doggett remarked with a grin.

Scully turned to him. She wanted to say no. She wanted to ask him to stay.
But that's not what came out.

"Hmm," she said, nodding her head slightly.

They both paused for a moment. Doggett didn't want to go. Scully didn't want
him to leave. So why did they both want to get away from each other? Neither
knew. Maybe it was exhaustion. Maybe it was fear.

"I'll show you out," Scully said. She stepped to the door.

Doggett leaned an arm into Will's crib and pulled the blanket closer to his
chin.

"See ya, Will," he whispered. He smiled with satisfaction. He looked to
Scully who was beaming with happiness at her child. He began to follow her
out of the room.

They went through the living room. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.
Her feet felt sluggish. Doggett's movements looked slow and languid to her.

She reached the door. Her hand stopped on the doorknob. She took in a deep
breath and turned it, opening the door slowly.

Doggett moved forward and took a step out into the hall. He turned back to
Scully. They were inches apart. He smiled. She smiled back.

Scully's hand grasped for Doggett's. She found it and held it tight.

Doggett squeezed her tiny hand in his. He leaned down to her.
His lips touched her forehead and lingered for a brief moment. Her eyes
closed.

He pulled back, running his thumb against the back of her hand. He saw her
eyes still closed.

They fluttered open revealing the blazing blue that they were. And there it
was. The look so often only bestowed upon Mulder was now shown to Doggett.
His heart soared.

"I'm glad you came," Scully said. Her tone was soft but certain.

"Me, too," Doggett replied.

Scully looked directly into his eyes. They were stunningly bright and vivid.

"Goodnight," Scully spoke sadly. Doggett noticed she didn't say goodbye.

"Goodnight," he returned. She gave his hand a firm clasp.

Their hands separated slowly, delaying the inevitable.

Doggett gave Scully a final smile and turned down to the elevators
reluctantly. He began down the hall. Though he hadn't said what he came to
say, he felt it hadn't gone completely unspoken. He smiled to himself.

Scully felt herself being pulled outside into the hallway after him. She
hardly felt her feet move. She clung to the doorframe to keep herself from
running to him and bit her lip to stop herself from calling out for him to
stay. Instead she just watched in a state of suspended animation as her
partner moved down the hall.

A warmth filled Scully as she thought of the small, tender kiss he'd given
her. Her forehead tingled and her body relaxed. She smiled and sighed, then
closed the door behind her as she pulled back into her apartment.

    ~~~

Doggett walked slowly to back to his truck. The bright moon lit up the
entire sky making it light enough to be day. The night was silent and
surreal as a dream.

His mind raced through all the things he'd done and said tonight. Through
the glances and touches and moments. It couldn't have been more perfect. He
hadn't felt this alive in a long time.

In a single night their relationship had evolved. It had become more
intricate, more intimate. They hadn't spoken much but their hearts and souls
spoke volumes to each other. He had shown Scully a side of him no one saw.
He wasn't sure why he let so much go. Maybe it had been
the hour of the night, the moment, the emotional toll the past months had
taken on him. There was something in Scully's eyes that had broken him down,
made him know he could let down his barriers. It had felt damn good though.

He knew he was completely gone. He'd fallen hard for her. but she caught his
fall with open arms. And those arms held so much comfort and strength for
him that she could never know. But then again. maybe she already did.

Pulling his keys out of his pocket, he reached the truck.

Doggett paused when he opened the car door. Leaning his arm on it and
resting his foot on the car for balance, he raised his face to the sky. It
was rare he ever noticed his surroundings. He hadn't looked up to the stars
in long, long time. He hadn't felt a need. When he had seen them before they
had appeared so far away, unreachable and remote. But now, the impossible
distance between him and the stars seemed a bit more possible. He felt as if
he could reach up and grab one off the dark that engulfed the night. They
sparkled with an unusual and mysterious brilliance. He was sure they had
never been this bright before. And he hoped they'd blaze like this forever.

He smirked to himself and nodded his head knowingly. He slid into his seat,
closing the door. Turning on the ignition, he pushed into gear.

As the truck slid away into the shining moonlight, Doggett thought back to
early in the evening in the office. He had asked himself a question. Could
he sacrifice his world and life for someone, like Scully had for Mulder?
Now, he knew the answer. He would for Scully. He'd do anything for her. She
was his light, his strength, his hope. And he had found his purpose.

CURTAIN