It’s Hard to Lose Your Best Friend
by Budgiebird

Classification- Doggettfic, Doggett POV, pre X-Files.

Archives- Just please let me know first!

Rating- About PG-13 I guess. Sadness.

Spoilers- None really. 

Summary-  “I know why Agent Scully doesn’t trust me.
She doesn’t understand why I’m willing to help her
find the missing Agent Mulder. I’ve got my reasons,
believe me. I’ve had experience in this sort of
thing.”

Disclaimer- Not mine. I’m too young to have created
them!!

Feedback- Yeeesssss!!!! Pleeeeease!

Note- I just finished reading A Separate Piece for my
high school English class, and it sorta got stuck in
my head. So, I decided to fix it up to pertain to
Doggett. It’s kinda sad.
	
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	I know why Agent Scully doesn’t trust me. She doesn’t
understand why I’m willing to help her find the
missing Agent Mulder. I’ve got my reasons, believe me.
I’ve had experience in this sort of thing. I grew up
on an old Georgia plantation with my four siblings and
two parents.  Of my two other brothers, I was my ma’s
shinin’ example. I picked up on the manners right
away, never swore, got good grades, the works. I could
please her by just battin’ an eyelid. I hardly ever
fought with my siblings either. The girls thought I
was the neatest thing since sliced bread, as I would
grab them by their ankles and swing them around the
backyard when they asked. My brothers never really
bothered with me, called me a pretty boy and not worth
the effort. My ma told me they were just jealous of
me. I never thought too much about it, I had other
things on my mind.
	Such as pleasin’ my pa.
	For everythin’ I did, I never seemed to be anythin’
extraordinary to him. He was a former Marine who
thought everythin’ had to be done the tough way. He
wanted his boys to try out for sports, and was always
raggin’ on me cause I always hated sports. Sure, I was
big enough and strong enough, but I never really felt
the urge to run around clutching a piece of sewed up
pigskin to my chest while being knocked down. I guess
that was why I became friends with Adam. He was
different from anyone I had ever met, and was
completely opposite from the type of person my pa
wanted we to hang out with. He told me time and time
again that Adam was a bad influence on me. You see,
Adam was definitely not normal. He was your typical
free spirit. Nothin’ ever bothered him. He never got
good grades in school, but he always seemed to know
everything that was going on in class. It was like he
processed everything on a subliminal level but just
ignored it until it wasn’t necessary to know anymore.
Then he would bring it all up and talk for hours, much
to everyone’s chagrin. He was also able to spin wild
stories without even thinking. Fantastic ones about
labyrinths, cities in the skies, and anything else you
could think of. His stories entertained us for hours,
which was useful in the Georgia summers when it was
too hot to do anything except lay sprawled beneath the
shade of a tree. What was most amazing was that he
could tell all these stories and stuff and never seem
strange. He always seemed to be older than everyone
else. He had a sort of maturity about him. I guess
that was why everyone liked him. I considered it an
honor to have him consider me his best friend. I was
always the person he turned to first when he had a new
idea, or when something was bothering him. I, in turn,
did the same to him. It was funny, because that was
something my pa would have a fit over if he ever knew.
He taught his boys to be strong and keep their
feelin’s hidden. If he had known that Adam and I would
sit around discussing our opinions and feelin’s, he
would have caught me and kicked my “bony ass” (as Adam
would say) into next week. Then, he would have waited
a week, caught me again, and slapped me into the next
week. My father was not a gentle man..
	As time went on, my pa disapproved of my friendship
with Adam more and more. I think that is even what
fueled us to become better friends. When we started
showing interest in girls, we would never go on a date
unless the other had one too. It was funny, because
Adam always had this necklace he wore. Not a little
girlie one, but a thick silver one that had a claw
holding a little orb. I always told him that it was
the coolest thing I’d ever seen and asked him where he
got it, but he just smiled and told me that it was a
secret. I’d roll my eyes and we’d then go off into a
wrestling match. Those were good times.
	All that changed in 1974. We had both hit the age of
17. My father recruited us for the Vietnam war. It was
wrapping up, but there was still a need for men out
there. So, we went. When we arrived we were split up
into different  groups. That was the one and only time
we ever hugged each other. We swore to each other that
we would write whenever possible and that we’d always
be best friends, no matter what happened. Then, we
boarded our separate transporter and departed. I could
have sworn I saw a tear goin’ down Adam’s face, but
I’m not sure. We waved one last time before we were
out of each other’s sight.
	We wrote every week, updating the other on what was
goin’ on around us. In truth, we were both bored.
Nothing was happening that we were really needed for,
so they were sending the troops back home. We hadn’t
even been out in ‘Nam for a month. That was ok. I had
a girlfriend at home waitin’ for me, and I couldn’t
wait to meet up with Adam again. The afternoon we set
off, I received a letter from him, saying that he had
somethin’ for me and he’s give it to me when he saw me
later on. I had no idea what it could be. Knowing
Adam, it was probably a dud bomb or something like
that. 
	Anyway, when I arrived at the base, I looked for
Adam’s train. I was told that it hadn’t showed up yet.
So, I just nodded and waited. Hours went by. I waited.
I never left the side of the tracks from where his
train was supposed to pull up at. Finally, after six
hours of waiting, my troop leader came up to me and
told me that it was time to go home. I told him that I
wasn’t leaving without Adam, but he just smiled at me
and told me not to worry, he was probably on his way.
The tracks and roads aren’t very good, and they might
have gotten stuck. I was sent home without Adam. 
	A week passed. Finally, a phone call came for me. I
remember my mother actually running-running- into the
room where my girlfriend and I sat watching
television. As she handed me the phone, time seemed to
stand still. I remember that the television was
showing a commercial for toothpaste. I remember that
the air was pleasant and smelled like my mother’s
cookies. I remember that as I put the phone to my ear,
I noticed a faint buzz, as if it was a long distance
call.
	“Hello?”
	“Yeah. Johnny? This is Rick Marason.”
	Rick Marason. I knew him faintly. he had been put
into the same troop as Adam. My throat constricted.
	“Hey Rick. How ya doin’?” I asked. 
	“I’m doin I guess, but I got some bad news for ya
man. Adam’s dead.”
	I didn’t move. I could feel my heart stop. Funny
thing was, I wasn’t surprised. I think that in my
heart I knew that this was coming, but that didn’t
stop it from hurting.
	“H-how?” I whispered. 
	Some static went through before Rick answered. “We
were traveling through a heavily wooded area when the
train fell off the tracks. Adam hopped off first to
take a look. Well, a couple of stray guerillas had
sabotaged the tracks after we had gone through the
first time, and they got him. We lost about five other
men, but we got all the guerillas. The wound he got
wouldn’t have been life threatening under ordinary
circumstances, but it took awhile to get the train
back up. Finally, we got back to the base. First thing
Adam says is “I wanna see John.” Well, general tells
him that you got sent home. Adam got this look on his
face and asked why. General told him that you had
waited for six hours and were practically fallin’
asleep waitin for him. Well, Adam smiled and said
“That bony assed pretty boy. Best friend I ever had.” 
Then his eyes closed and...he..died.”
	I shut my eyes tightly. I wasn’t gonna cry. Not here,
not now.
	“Thanks man....thanks.” I told him. Before I could
say goodbye, he cut in real quick.
	“Hey, before I go, did you get his letter?”
	“His what?”
	“Right before we got the train started again, he gave
me this envelope and told me to give it to you in case
he didn’t make it back. I’m up in DC  right now, so I
mailed it to you. I just wanted to know if you had
gotten it.”
	“No, I didn’t. I should eventually.”
	“Aright. Well, talk to you later man.”
	“Yeah.. Later..”
	“Sorry. I know you two were tight.”
	“Thanks.”
	The dial tone sounded in my ear. My girlfriend,
Michelle, was next to me the whole time and heard the
whole story. When I handed my mother back the phone,
she gave me a hug and a kiss. Then, without a word,
she left the room. I turned to Michelle and gave her a
weak smile, asking her with my eyes to let me be alone
for awhile. She read the message, gave me a kiss, and
walked out. I went up to my room and collapsed onto my
bed. My best friend was gone. I couldn’t believe it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

	I stayed in my room for three days. i didn’t talk to
anyone, I didn’t eat, I didn’t cry, I barely slept. I
spent my time going through little picture books that
Adam and I had made one summer. Black and white photos
of us with little speech bubbles coming out of our
mouths covered the pages. This was from when Adam was
going through his ‘artsy’ phase  and convinced me that
he needed my help in order to become a world famous
artist. I was looking at one of us pretending to be
beating the crap out of each other when there was a
knock on my door. Without waiting for a reply, the
door opened. To my surprise, the familiar figure of my
pa filled the doorway. 
	“Hey Johnny.”
	Johnny. He hadn’t called me that since I was about
ten. I looked at him expectantly. I really hoped he
hadn’t come to kick my ass for mourning my friend’s
death. 
	“A letter came for you in the mail today. Thought
you’d like to see it.” he told me. He handed me the
envelope. I took it from him cautiously. I opened it.
Nothing was in there. I could feel anger welling up.
Was this Rick’s idea of a sick joke?
	I through the envelope across the room with a growl.
My father looked at me expressionlessly, then went to
pick it up. Sitting down next to me on the bed, he
turned the letter upside down. Slowly, the envelope
seemed to come apart.
	“A false bottom..” I muttered in disbelief. My father
squinted at the envelope and pulled out something
silver. I felt the tears welling up. In my father’s
hand was Adam’s necklace. The claw holding the little
orb. I couldn’t help it. I started to cry. For the
first time in nearly 13 years, I started to cry. What
was worse was that my dad -Mr. Ultimate Punishment for
Emotion- was sitting right next to me.
	Suddenly, I felt something going down around my head.
I looked up through teary eyes to see my father
placing the necklace around my neck. 
	“I’m sorry Johnny.” was all he said. I stared at him.
Without another word, he pulled me into his arms and
started rocking me as if I was three again. Even after
he was gone, Adam was still doing good. He had pulled
my dad and me together into a bond that still survives
to this day. That’s why I’m so dedicated to this
search for Agent Mulder. I know what it was like
waiting in a cloud of worry, wondering whether or not
your friend is ok. I just hope that Agent Scully’s
search turns out better than mine did. It’s hard to
lose your best friend.