Title:  I Want To Believe
By:  Susan Olivia
Rated:  PG
Keywords:  DRR
Disclaimer:  I don't own these characters, cause if I did they'd be 
coming back for another season:)
Summary:  The characters Monica and John discuss the end of "The X-
Files."
Timeline:  Post "Jump the Shark" pre "Release."

Warning:  This fan fic does contain some slight spoilers that I've 
read (which may or may not be true) and the rest is purely from my 
imagination.

"Now this is not the end.  It is not even the beginning of the end."-
Winston Churchill

"When the characters are really alive before the author; the latter 
does nothing but follow them in their action, in their words, in the 
situations which they suggest to him."-Luigi Pirandello-"Six 
Characters In Search of an Author" 


"I want to believe."

"What?" asked Monica.  John and her were sitting quietly in the X-
Files Office finishing up last minute paperwork.

John swiveled in his chair and pointed to Mulder's poster on the wall 
behind him with the flying UFO and the words "I Want To Believe" 
written at the bottom.

Monica nodded.  "Yeah, I heard Mulder's coming back.  He'll probably 
want his poster back too."

John shook his head.  "No.  I mean **I** want to believe."

"You?"

"Yep.  I mean with the show ending and after all I've experienced and 
witnessed with the end coming up so soon...I think I want to believe."

Monica smiled sadly.  "Well maybe the Big Man will see to it."

"Maybe.  I think we're going to finally figure out who killed my son 
and get that whole myth arc resolved so yeah, I think I'd like to 
believe."

"Be careful what you wish for," warned Monica teasingly.

John chuckled.  "So how about you?  Anything you want to happen by 
the end?"

"Hmmm...well I don't think we're going to have enough time to explore 
my background-why I'm a believer, who my family is, why I have dual 
citizenship, etc.  So I think I want something to happen between us."

John raised an eyebrow.  "Oh, really..."

"Yes, really," said Monica laughing.  I mean I've been pining away 
for you since the beginning of this season and in "Audrey Pauley" it 
was obvious that you **do** have feelings for me."

"I do?" asked John feigning ignorance.

Monica threw a pencil at him and they both laughed.  "Yes, you 
dreaming of kissing me was painfully cut short."

After the laughter died down a silence fell over the two of them.  
Somewhere along the line, their conversation had turned serious.  The 
words were out there, spoken, and there was no taking them back now.

"I just...I just don't want to leave this show 
wondering...unrequited...," began Monica.

John looked up at her from across the room.  "You don't have to."

They both got up from their desks when company interrupted them.

"Hope we're not interrupting anything," said Byers cheerfully as the 
Lone Gunmen strolled into the office.

"Uh...no," said John.  He was confused.  "I don't mean to be rude, 
but aren't the three of you supposed to be dead?"

"C'mon, man," said Langly.  "This is The X-Files!  No one is ever 
really dead on this show."  He pointed to his t-shirt that 
read, "Doggett and Reyes Live."

"Whoa," said Monica, "who said anything about John and I dying!"

"Well, you know how the Big Man is about killing off characters.  
Just how many characters has he killed off in nine years, eh?" asked 
Langly.

"Shut up, Langly," said Frohike.  He went over and put a comforting 
hand on Monica's arm.  "Nobody.  Nobody at all.  It's just that with 
the X-Files being cancelled and all, and with the Big Man saying he 
had no intention of putting you two in the next movie..."

"So we might as well be dead.  Is that what you're trying to say?" 
said John angrily.

"No," said Byers shaking his head.  "Not at all."  His tone changed 
to one of comfort.  "People have been e-mailing to get The X-Files 
back for another season or to get you two a spin-off, or at the very 
least get you two into the next movie.  You see there are people who 
really like your characters as much as Mulder and Scully.  So no 
matter what happens to you two, in the end, people will remember how 
much of your hearts you gave to this show.  And that's why you'll 
live on in fan fiction."

"Fan fiction?" questioned John.

"Yeah.  It's really cool, man.  Fans get to write about different 
aspects of your lives, missing scenes from episodes, or explore your 
thoughts.  Basically what they would like to see happen.  And then 
other fans read their work and review.  Sometimes discussions 
develop.  It's awesome.  The Internet is a wonderful place," said 
Langly.

"So when it's over, it won't really be over," said Monica.

"You got it," said Frohike.

Everyone was smiling by this point.

"We'll we gotta go," said Frohike.  "We've still got to stop by and 
see Jimmy and Yves."

"Thanks for stopping by, gentlemen.  You know we really are grateful 
for all the help you given us," said John.

"And I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to spend more time with you, 
guys," said Monica.

"There's always, fan fic," said Byers with a smile.  And with that 
the Lone Gunmen left the office.

"I'm feeling better," said Monica smiling.

"Me too," said John returning her smile.

The two were leaning against John's desk.

"So do I have to wait for a fan fic now in order to give you a kiss?  
I don't want to mess up the shows canon or anything," said John.

Monica turned to him.  "The last time you didn't kiss me I wound up 
in the hospital."

"Well we don't want history to repeat itself, now do we."

Their faces were inches apart.

"Seize the day, John."

And they did.

A/N:  The only spoilers that I've read that are included here is 
Mulder's return and there is supposed to be an episode dealing with 
the death of Doggett's son.