Title: One moment in time

Author: Jessica   ( j_rothen@yahoo.se )

Rating: PG

Category: DSR, RST

Spoiler: None

Archive: Wherever. Just let me know where

Feedback: Yes, PLEASE:...j_rothen@yahoo.se

Website: www.geocities.com/jlovesxfiles

Summary: Alone in a cottage..hmmm...

Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX
and they are not mine.

Note: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar
mistake may occur.






I have never feared daybreak, as I do know. I'm sitting by
the window watching the rain come down from a darken sky.
I will never regret it. I will cherish this moment for
ever. He still sleeps. I can hear him breathing in the
dark. I look over to the bed and I can't help but smile.
I can still taste him on my lips. I can still feel his
hands on my body. He has gotten under my skin and he
has made the wall around my heart crumble. I owe him
so much. I wish I could tell him that one day. He has
given me the gift of strength back. He has given me
the gift of trust and I love him for it. It's funny
how blind you can be about the good things in your
life. I'll thank god for giving him to me.

I remember fearing him. I remember how I hated him.
I can't help but to smile about the foolishness that
kept us apart. But he came into my life when I was
so afraid to give my heart once again. He wanted me to
trust him. I have only given my trust to one person
in this life and that person was missing. So I fought
him with everything I could to keep him out of my
life but he was stronger than I. He stood by my side,
believing in me. He was there when I had no one.
He was the hero I needed in my life. And I never
saw that. I was to blind and to rapped up in finding
the proof that he was one of the bad guys that I missed
it. I kept expecting to find Mulder walking through the
door. I guess it's not easy to stop hoping. I read
somewhere that hope is the last thing that leaves a
person. It took a great deal over heartache to
accept the things I couldn't change. Mulder was gone.
I know, maybe I'm betraying him. I don't know. But
I can't walk through life turning over every stone
to find him. I know I vowed never give up searching
for him. But it kills me to see time fly by and not
a clue in sight. It feels like my heart is slowly
going to pieces. He made it clear when he left me
behind that this was something he had to do alone.
So I have to accept that and maybe one day he'll
come back to me.

So, now I'm sitting here with my heart racing my
chest. That day when John Doggett walked into my
life I could never imagine him moving my world like
this. But he has done it.

Five hours earlier

It's funny how fast your life can change. For me
it happened with one touch. I know it sounds silly,
but it's the truth.

We had been chasing this suspect through two states
when we finally ended up here in the middle of nowhere.
The suspect fled into the woods after we finally have
been able to stop his car. John went after and I
followed as fast as I could run in my shoes. It was
so dark and it had started to rain a bite. I could
hardly see where I was going. The sound of gunfire
made me pick up the pace. I found John standing in
a clearing. He was breathing heavy as I ran to his
side. The suspect was nowhere to be found.

- Are you okay?

The darkness made it hard to see his face. The
moon was the only light we had.

- He got away, Scully.

- Are you okay, John? I heard gun shots.

- I think so...

I moved closer to check up on him. He looked
so pale in the moonlight. He looked down at
me and smiled.

- Don't worry. I'm fine.

Then his legs gave away and he crumbled to
the ground. I leaned down and reached for him.
Warm, dark blood met my hand when I touched him.
In that moment panic filled my body and I had
hard time thinking clearly. He was hurt was the
only thought that run through my head. I felt
sick and dizzy.

Somehow I managed to get him up on his feat
and together we walked to the car. He didn't
say much but I could hear that he was in pain.
I couldn't see where the bullet had hit him
but I didn't care.

I drove like a mad man to the nearest house I
could found. It was an old and rundown cottage.
I know, I wasn't thinking that clearly. But
I just needed him to get him safe. Voices in
my head whispered that I was going to lose him.
I was going to lose him, like I had lost Mulder.
The cottage wasn't big. It had just two rooms.
But it was somewhere to get away from the rain.
He just smiled and laughed when he saw the
building. I managed to get him inside and lay
him down on the floor beside an old fireplace.
The roof was leaking and I expected that we
invaded the home of some animals. I took
our bags with clothes from the car and I
prayed that we could make it.

I managed somehow to make a fire in the
fireplace. I don't know how, but it made
me feel better somehow.

Then I turned to him. I sighed when I saw
that the bullet had graced his chest and
nothing else. But he had lost a lot of blood
and he was cold.

- Let's get you out of these clothes,
Agent Doggett.

- You have just waited for this moment, huh?

He sat up and smiled at me. I moved closer
to him and said:

- You have lost a lot of blood and you're
wet. We have to fix that wound also.

I have to admit that my hands were trembling
when I helped him off with the shirt. The wound
was long but not deep. My heart was racing in
my chest as I leaned closer. I have seen him
without a shirt before, but this was different.
I have never actually touched him. He was
build like the warrior he was. I felt a bit
dizzy as I ran my hand over his chest, looking
over the wound.

- We have to put a bandage on. Tomorrow we'll
find a doctor. Can you manage until then?

I looked up and found him looking at me.
We were sitting so close that I could almost
hear his heart beating.

- I'll be fine.

I found my hand still being on his chest and I
removed it as soon as I could and started to
look for something to use as bandage. I took
one of his shirts. I found it harder to breathe
somehow as I moved closer to him. He was
sitting by the fire looking at me with those
eyes. He didn't say anything. I did all the
talking. I was so nervous as I took care of
his wounds. His skin felt like silk under my
hand.

- I'll take you to a doctor in the morning. He
will fix you right up. And we'll find that guy
and...

He stopped me talking by taking my hand. We were
sitting by the fire. He was so close.

- You talk too much.

Suddenly he reached out and ran his hand over my
cheek. His touch was so soft, so gentle.

- You're shivering.

It wasn't because of my wet clothes that I was
shivering and I think he knew that. He took
both my hands and in his and said:

- You're cold.

- I'll be fine. I'm more worried about you.
You have lost a lot of blood.

He smiled at me and suddenly he kissed my
hand like a gentleman.

- You shouldn't.

He lips were so soft against my hand. I felt
dizzy. His eyes were so dark as he moved closer.
He didn't say anything. He wasn't smiling
now. It felt like my whole heart was going to
explode in my chest as he framed my face between
his hands. I knew what was going to happen and I
had no intention to stop it from happening. I wanted
this.

- May I kiss you?

In his eyes I saw something that I had longed for.
I saw a promise of love. I knew that he would never
willingly hurt me. I smiled a bit when I whispered
my answer. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine.
The kiss was the softest of all kisses. He was so gentle.
I felt warm all over. His kiss started a fire inside of
me that I had killed along time ago. He deepened the kiss
and ran his tongue, tracing the inside of my lips and then
went deeper. This was heaven on earth. I wanted this.
His hand found it's way under my shirt and touched the
gentle skin on my back. His touch felt like a soft breeze.
I whispered small words of endearment as he laid me down
beside the fireplace. I wasn't afraid. It was just John.
I wanted this. I need this. I had longed for this. He smiled
down at me as he slowly unbuttoned my shirt. I wanted to feel
his skin against mine. I wanted to feel his hands on my body.
His eyes were so dark as he took of me my shirt and bra.
In that moment I knew that I would remember this moment
for the rest of my life. As he placed his hand over
the sensitive skin over my heart and whispered my name I
knew that I was falling in love. And as I looked into his
eyes I knew he felt the same thing. Maybe this was happening
too fast. Maybe this was madness. But I didn't care. This
was the right thing to do.

He undressed me and took my hand in his. I could see tears
in his eyes as he whispered:

- I have only loved once in my life. I used to think that
it was enough to last me a lifetime. I was wrong. I swear to you
that I'll never hurt you and if you let me I'll love you
until my dying day.

His beautiful words filled me up with strength and I love
that I never thought was possible. I took him in my arms
and whispered:

- I love you, John.

And that was the truth. It felt nice saying what was in my
heart.

There in front of the fireplace I gave myself to him with all
my heart and spirit. There we became one and I knew as he
entered me that I would never let him go.

Now I'm sitting here watching him sleep. I look around the
cottage and I wish we could stay like this forever. I know,
it's too much to ask. I never thought that love would
come in the shape of this man. I never thought I could love
again, not after Mulder. I didn't think that was possible.
But I know now I have so much to give. I know now that I have
enough love in my heart to love them both. Just differently.
It has stopped raining now and the light chases away the
dark. I know this safe haven will soon be nothing more than
a memory. I don't know what the future has in stored for us
but I hope and prayer that it will be a bright one. I will
cherish every moment I get with him. I hope the passing of
time will bring us closer and I pray that he'll stay with
me until death parts us.

I smile when the morning sun comes out to play. I think
I will go back to him now. I will go back to his arms and
the sweet surrender I find there.




FEEDBACK________PLEASE j_rothen@yahoo.se